Ear piercing for young children

Lacye - posted on 11/19/2010 ( 107 moms have responded )

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I don't know if this has been on here before but I figured it would be a nice friendly debate. What is your opinion on people who get their young child's ears pierced? If you are for young children having their ears pierced, at what age do you thing you would do it? If you are against it, what is a more appropriate age for a parent to allow to have their child's ears pierced?

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Jodi - posted on 11/19/2010

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"are you actually saying, you won't pierce your daughters ears because there is a hole in them, and it doesn't grow back in? "



I suggest you read the entire thread rather than just a part of it. MOST people who choose not to pierce their baby's ears are actually of the opinion that any piercing should be the child's choice when they are old enough to make that decision themselves AND old enough to care for it themselves. We were simply pointing out that piercing ears and hair cuts are not comparable as part of the debate on the issue, and pointing out that holes from piercing DON'T close up, which is one reason why it should be the child's choice when the time comes.



I don't believe anyone is insulting people for their opposing opinion, simply debating the aspects of various opinions. To state "you mothers are naive" for an opinion you don't agree with is unnecessary.



As is the statement "Unless someone is right up against their ear ( which in most of these mothers cases, heaven forbid that ever happen )". That's pretty rude actually.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/20/2010

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First off Dana, you are awesome! I think that you have a beautiful little girl who looks adorable with pierced ears. It was the right decission when you made it, and it is so wonderful that you have such an open mind to decide you would not do it again. The "damage" is not damage at all. Babies do look cute IMO with earrings...but I would not do it for different reasons than the others. I was a manager at Claire's Boutique many years ago, and yes...I pierced many babies ears. It was a hard job and I wish that it wasn't part of my duties.

That being said, here is some info about ear piercing...if you want to take her earrings out...she is your daughter..do what you like...but...the holes may not close, or half close, or one will close and not the other, scar tissue can form over it etc etc...or it might be fine and close perfectly, everyone is different. So, if they do seem to close, and you go to re-pierce them when she wants to do it...if they pierce near the same site it could open up the initial holes and screw it up, making the earrings never sit quite right. I would just leave them alone. Some people may think it looks tacky...but you may think they dress weird, or have tacky taste in their jewlery...you know what I mean? Opinions are like assholes...everyones got one.

Minnie - posted on 11/20/2010

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Dana: your daughter is adorable! While I don't think that piercing a child's ears (or altering any other part of the body) is right, I don't think she LOOKS tacky. I HATE circumcision. But that doesn't mean I think my husband is ugly, you know what I mean?



Whether or not you should remove her earrings...that is up to you.



Painting nails is in a whole other ball park. It's not permanent and doesn't hurt a child in any way. My 4 1/2 year old has hot-pink hair. Her choice!

Krista - posted on 11/20/2010

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are you actually saying, you won't pierce your daughters ears because there is a hole in them, and it doesn't grow back in?
You mothers are very naive and imo coddle your children way to much!


Well, if "coddling" my kids means that I'm not going to have holes poked in their bodies for aesthetic purposes, without their consent, then I guess I'm going to coddle my kids.

I have no idea what this has to do with naiveté, however. Are you claiming that it's somehow unsophisticated or credulous to not want to permanently alter your kid's body?

In the words of Inigo Montoya, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Krista - posted on 11/20/2010

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Debating Mums: Come for the bitchfest, stay for the stroking.

Erm...maybe not.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

107 Comments

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Melanie - posted on 11/22/2010

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If someone wants to get their baby's ears pierced, it's not my business. My husband and I want our daughter to make that choice on her own.

[deleted account]

Amanda, honestly when I had my ears done 12 and yes it did hurt a little, but only enough to make me go 'oh ow' (in a wisper) as it was done, the pain isn't immense.

Amanda - posted on 11/22/2010

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I have 3 daughters and they all had theirs done at 6mnths, and still have them in. I think the younger the better, because they won't remember the pain, they don't notice or play with them, and it's MUCH easier to clean! That's my opinion tho!

Jaime - posted on 11/22/2010

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I don't have anything new or witty to add to this discussion. I'm with the no-piercings crowd. If my son wants an earring when he's older and can take care of it, then we'll talk...for now I'm just gonna look forward to the day that he can wipe his own ass!

Amanda - posted on 11/22/2010

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I had mine done when I was 7 years old. My Mom waited until I asked for it. My daughter has already been asking for hers to get pierced for about a year now but I'm waiting until this year. She turns 4 in March. I wanted to make sure she was ready and that she really did want it. But it's a personal choice...I mean it hurts, and there is chance of infection. I don't want her to be afraid of going to a salon or anything because of the pain.

Meghan - posted on 11/21/2010

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I would never pierce my sons ears. If I had a girl I would...I am thinking about getting him a tattoo though

Nikkole - posted on 11/21/2010

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My mom pierced my ears when i was 1 and i loved my earrings but hen i got older i hated the cute little diamonds lol i put in gauges when i could and i still have my holes but no earrings yet mine broke and haven't gotten around to getting some! My almost 3 year old son asked if he could get some earrings like daddy's the other day i told him when you get a little older!

Dana - posted on 11/21/2010

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I wouldn't get my child's ears pierced but, I really don't think too much of it if someone does pierce their child's ears.
I've never seen a child where I thought it looked tacky, they've always been tasteful studs and they usually look really pretty to me. But, hey, I'm a jewelry lover.

Michelle - posted on 11/21/2010

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My daughter does not have her's done- she'll be two next month. I will allow it when she asks for them, no matter what age she is. I have mine done, but hardly ever have anything in!

Leah - posted on 11/21/2010

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Wow, I never thought so many people were against piercing a child's ears! Maddy had hers done at 16 months, we would have done it earlier but she was hospitalized for her first year (we had full doctors approval before doing it mind you). I always wished my parents had done mine earlier, had mine done at about 7years old and still remember the pain. Maddy cried for about 20 seconds and then the girl that did it distracted her with a hand mirror and she forgot all about it! I think its totally adorable and would do it again if we have another girl.

My condolences to those of you that had yours done without your consent. However if Maddy comes to me when shes 18 and says she hates me for having her ears pierces w/o her consent, I think I will have done a pretty good job of raising her if that is the only thing she can condemn me for!

[deleted account]

Tracey, have you read this thread? Has anyone giving those excuses or are you refering to arguments you've heard over the years? I think all the points you've addressed have already been discussed here.

Bonnie - posted on 11/21/2010

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My parents got my ears pierced when I was 5 years old and supposedly I gave them hell...kept running out of the place everytime the piercing gun came near my face. Anyways, eventually that same day they got my ears pierced lol. I don't remember how old I was, but under 10 for sure and I think one of my holes was infected one time and when they get infected, the hole somewhat gets enlarged (or at least seems that way). I woke up one morning and somehow the backing of my earring (one of those butterfly type backings) ended up inside the hole. Not only was it disgusting and painful, but I had to get it professionally removed. Ever since my ears have been fine, but ouch that hurt.

Tracey - posted on 11/21/2010

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"Its traditiona / cultural" - would you cut your child's arm off because it is expected for these reasons.

"it looks so pretty" - if fashion dictated that facial tattoos, green mohawks and nose studs were pretty would you dress your child like that, you want pretty - buy a dress.

"but my child keeps asking" - grow some balls and say no - would you give in if your child wanted a pony for Christmas or if they wanted to try drink /drugs?

I wasn't allowed until I was 16 which was when my parents thought I was old enough to make the decision. My daughter had hers done when she was 12 when I though she was old enough to know her mind.

We have so much hassle from the 6 year olds in my class with earrings, they get lost, fall out, get hair stuck in them, have to be taped over for PE. I would like them banned during school - and most of the girls with pierced ears have long hair so you can't see the earrings anyway.

[deleted account]

Thanks LaCi, yeah mine are the same as yours, skin heals over the back and they bleed when I re-pierce.

Dana, from the small pics next to your posts (which is all I see) Roxanne looks a little a beautiful little girl, I wouldn't worry about your choices, they were right at the time. As long as you and Roxanne are happy, that is all that matters. :-)

Becky - posted on 11/21/2010

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I don't really have an issue with people having it done, and I don't think it necessarily looks tacky. It's somewhat a cultural thing too - in West Africa, they always pierce the ears of newborn baby girls, so they know they'r girls.
Personally though, if I had a daughter, I wouldn't pierce her ears until she was old enough to ask for it and take care of them properly. I got mine pierced when I was 8 and did have quite a lot of infections. I didn't take good care of them and let them grow over and had to get them repierced when I was in my teens. Now, the back of one ear has grown over and it's too painful to repierce, so I've just quit wearing earrings. Plus, they're just one more thing for my kids to pull on!

[deleted account]

LMFFAO! I can't stop laughing...



Edited to add: Not at you, Vanessa -- we must have posted at the same time....I was talking about Krista's post above yours!

[deleted account]

I personally think that it is up to the parent. I mean I know a lot of people who had their ears pierced betweem 6 months and 1 year old. I also know people who are over the age of 20 and are glad and are proud of not having their ears pierced. I personally would not get my daughters ears done until she asks for it. If she is old enough to say "Mummy I want a needle shoved through my ear," then I will let her. Lol.

[deleted account]

Thanks Krista!

Sara, LOVE camo, LOVE pink.....could do without the ruffles and bows! ;)

I guess the reason I'm being so hard on myself is because I'm ALL ABOUT human rights...I just didn't think about it because it was a tradition and something we all did. When we took Roxanne it was myself and Roxanne of course, my sister-in-law, both neices and my mom. We took pics and went out for icecream after. It sounds silly now because I'm realizing that she was only 10 months and won't have any memory of it but c'est la vie....not much I can do now. Thanks ladies for being so understand and stroking my bruised ego.

LaCi - posted on 11/20/2010

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"Toni, you said that "my holes do" meaning that yours do close up, then in the same sentence you said that "the fronts have never sealed though". So really, your holes do NOT close up. "

Dunno about toni, but the back half of the flesh is actually sealed up on mine. They have to be re-pierced every time I decide I need to wear earrings, and they will bleed when I do it. Considering I used to wear earrings constantly, I'm not sure why mine are defective.

[deleted account]

Marina is right. While I might not like the way earrings look on babies (BABIES, Roxanne is past that point!) you may not like the camo onsie with ruffles and bows across the butt that I had my daughter's picture taken in when she was a baby (her dad likes to hunt). Meh. We're all different people. Different tastes. And I do think it's commendable that you'd be willing to change your mind on something like this simply because you are open minded in a debate!

Krista - posted on 11/20/2010

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DMak, I honestly never noticed that Roxanne's ears were pierced. She's just so damn cute and expressive that it overshadows anything else.

I DO feel bad for these teeny-tiny little newborns who don't even know where the hell they are, half of them still with their frigging umbilical stump, sporting bling in their ears and a big fucking frilly, stretchy, be-flowered headband around their head. It's like, we get it...she's a girl. Wouldn't a pink sleeper have sent the same message?

Obviously, piercing ears isn't a choice that I'd make, but that's me. I just think that baby earlobes are so utterly perfect and sweet and kissable, and so I don't see a need to gild the lily.

Besides, you want to talk tacky, I brought Sam to the grocery store today and he was wearing his fuzzy slippers, because I couldn't be arsed to find his boots. At least with Roxanne's piercings, you had good intentions. I have no such excuse, and can only claim sheer and utter laziness. :)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/20/2010

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P.S If you do not want to leave her earrings in, but want to leave the holes open...I would recommend pushing an earring in 1-2 times per month to make sure they do...get all that pus and junk out.

[deleted account]

Oh, and by the way, I just painted Roxanne toe and fingernails a matching shade of red......a base coat, two coats of red, and a top coat. She loves, I love it and it looks adorable but I suppose most of you would be against that too?!

I'ma go start a new thread!

[deleted account]

Fair enough, thanks ladies! I don't know what I'd do without y'all! I'm sick and fighting with Chad so I'm a wee bit emo -- sorry for being so sensitive.

Jodi - posted on 11/20/2010

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Dana, I'd just leave it :) And don't feel bad about it. I personally wouldn't pierce a baby's ears, but I don't think anything less of anyone who chooses to do so - you had your reasons and you shouldn't regret it at all!! It's like the circumcision issue. I had my son done, but if I had another son now, I wouldn't do it because I feel differently about it than I did 13 years ago when his father was so hell bent on getting it done. But I certainly don't regret it or feel bad about having done it.

Charlie - posted on 11/20/2010

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Dana your daughter is so beautiful she could be wearing lighters through her ears and i wouldn't notice .

Sarah - posted on 11/20/2010

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@Dana: I would say that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it's how you and Roxanne feel about it that matters.
:)

[deleted account]

Do her piercings look tacky, Sara? Please, I really want to know? I'm sure some of you can tell that this bothers me a wee bit. It's hard to hear some of you say it's tacky. Are you all just being polite and don't want to say anything to me?

Ok, I'm done.....moving on for real this time...

Eliz - posted on 11/20/2010

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I'm not sure how I feel about it. My parents made me wait til I was in 4th grade.

[deleted account]

So, I've already announced that I changed my mind on this issue months ago. Would any of you actually suggest that I take Roxanne's earings out now or is the damage done and I should just move on?

Minnie - posted on 11/20/2010

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Now I have to go watch that movie!



Jenn- my holes get clogged too.



Piercing exposes the child to infections. I am sensitive to having nearly anything in my ears. Gold, titanium, surgical steel, whatever, they get irritated, weepy and red. Why subject a baby to that? Vanity just doesn't seem like a justifiable reason.

Jenn - posted on 11/20/2010

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Toni, you said that "my holes do" meaning that yours do close up, then in the same sentence you said that "the fronts have never sealed though". So really, your holes do NOT close up. Mostly when someone stops wearing earrings, the holes fill up with dirt and debris and get clogged. If you're gross like me, it's fun to squeeze it out like a zit - OK sorry, probably TMI - I can't help it, I'm a picker! :P

LaCi - posted on 11/20/2010

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Only the backs of mine healed over. I pretty much have to re-pierce them on the off chance I decide to wear earrings. (rare)

Charlie - posted on 11/20/2010

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OMG OMG OMG , Krista i can recite that movie word for word now excuse me while i pierce my sons eyebrow...............

Jenny - posted on 11/20/2010

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I'm pretty consistant in my not my body, not my choice view. I don't like seeing babies with pierced ears. My daughter is getting hers done for her birthday this year, she will be 8.

Sarah - posted on 11/20/2010

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I would never ever have pierced my daughters ears as a baby. I think it should be decision left to them. In fact, I'm quite mean on the subject and have told my 6 year old she has to wait until she is 11 or 12.

Personally, I don't like the look of it. Plus the MAIN thing for me, is why put them through ANY unnecessary pain?? It just doesn't make sense to me at all.

On the point about the holes closing over, I didn't wear earrings for over 2 yrs at one point, and my holes didn't heal over at all. So it can go either way I guess.

Rosie - posted on 11/20/2010

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my holes are like toni, the backs close over and i have to repierce and it hurts like a bitch to put an earring in. i havn't worn earrings since i was married, i had to poke holes through again to get those in and put up with the pain for the day.

Jodi - posted on 11/20/2010

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I don't see how waiting for my child to make a decision herself and take responsibliity for it is coddling? Wouldn't coddling be taking the decision out of her hands and doing everything for her? Just saying. And I have to agree with Kati, I think all piercings on infants looks tacky (I do NOT however think the CHILD looks tacky!). I too can attest that holes do NOT always grow over, it's been nearly 20 years since I've worn earings and I still have my holes.

[deleted account]

My holes do, if I go more than 2 months without wearing earrings in either set (I have 2 piercings in each ear) the back of my holes seal over and I have to re-pierce them, the fronts have never sealed though and I went nearly 3 years without wearing earrings in them at one point, although now I try and keep studs in them.

what I should have said is all the babies I have seen with pierced ears IRL look tacky to me. I can't think a child looks tacky if I've not seen them.

Minnie - posted on 11/20/2010

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Krista, I shall love you forever for using a Princess Bride quote.

I haven't worn earrings in years and I still have all my holes. And one of them was a cartilage piercing that cracked. Hurt for months.

I too, wonder what others think about piercing other parts of a baby's body. Why is it ok to do a girl's (or boy's) ears but not some place else? Maybe little three month old Sally would like an eyebrow ring? Or Jimmy would like a foreskin stud? CUUUUUUTE! (Squeal!)

Rosie - posted on 11/20/2010

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every child i've ever seen does look tacky, that's why i have my opinion the way it is. sure i might be able to in the future see a child that it looks cute on, but i havn't yet....i think my opinion that it's unnecessary clouds my judgement though too, making things look tacky when they may not be. :)

Lacye - posted on 11/20/2010

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You are right Dana, not in all instances do the kids look tacky. but if i see a child (and yes i have seen one like this!) that is an infant, bald, and has these huge earrings in its ear, that to me is tacky. now if they are small and barely noticeable, nothing wrong with that. as long as the earrings are tasteful to the child's age like the ones you got for Roxanne.

[deleted account]

EEK! Ok, I have to say one more thing and maybe I am in a way defending the fact that I pierced Roxanne's ears, BUT, you guys are all claiming it looks tacky, but how can you say that in all instances? Shouldn't you reserve that opinion for when you've actually seen how the child looks?

Most of you that I've mentioned it to that Roxanne has her ears pierced, have actually said, "Oh, I didn't notice" -- are you just being nice? Is my kid tacky?

[deleted account]

"Why risk something that isn't completely necessary?"

I do agree, Cathy! Like I said, I probably should have even mentioned our experience because it suggests that I was defending my actions. While I refuse to regret it, and think Roxanne looks adorable, I have changed my mind and completely agree with you on this issue.

Jessica - posted on 11/20/2010

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I'm not necessarily "for" or "against" it, honestly. I will say that personally, I think it looks tacky when babies have their ears pierced and I wouldn't do it, but I don't think any less of the parents for it or anything. I will let my children decide if/when they want it done.

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