Facebook bullying

Tara - posted on 02/07/2011 ( 40 moms have responded )

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What is your opinion of Facebook or other social networking sites and bullying?
Does a threat to someone's life by one teen to another via a facebook message constitute a death threat?
Does a negative and intimidating wall post about someone or something someone did constitute bullying?
Does bragging about drinking underage or being stoned constitute police or child services involvement?

Just curious, there have been a few convictions with cases along the lines of the above examples...

What should be the result of such actions, threats etc.?

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Tara - posted on 02/09/2011

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@Mike Hunt
Tell that to the mother of a teen who killed themselves because of ongoing relentless cyber bullying or to the father whose son won't leave the house because of cyber bullies.
Tell that to the people who not only receive threatening messages but also know the person in real life and know that they are a threat even if they don't do it in person.

I think you're being a little insensitive here. Just because you had a Classic Text Book Stalker scenario complete with all the hollywood drama, does not mean any one else's experience is laughable.

[deleted account]

Facebook do jackshit, They do not block it.



Not sure if you got to read what i wrote or not but here goes.

I live in the same town as these people and have had them try and run me and my daughter down.

I went to the cops and i puished and pushed and pushed the cops where i am are fucking useless.

I am in the process of moving and i have cut so many of my old friends out of my life because of these people.

BTW it's not my brother doing this shit it's his wife sitting behing the computer. I have been to confront them and they hid inside their house.

My dogs have been let out time and time again so that they get caught by the pound, but i have no proof of who is actually doing it. They are not stupid about what they are doing and they aren't just soem carzy physcopath who i met randomly.



A drama queen. I have NEVER mentioned any of this shit on here before because it's my life but i thought it was relevant to the OP otherwise it would have stayed off.

Just because what happened to you was worse how the hell does it lessen what has happened to anyone else?

Stalking is stalking no matter where or how it happens.

Mabel - posted on 02/09/2011

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look I am sorry you had such an experience in the first place but this is what COM is about.Helping a person try to deal with ANY thing they are having problems with whether it is a new child or being stalked.Giving support.NOT yelling or putting into words how you feel that an Internet stalker is A JOKE! I can't believe you can be so incentive to a fellow woman who is going through something that you have been through already.Stalking is stalking whether back in the day or now.If nothing else a little common decency is in order here.I have been stalked and on the computer it is easier than ever to find and terrify a person without even leaving your house.So the next time you LMAO think about how it made you feel when no one listened to your story and try to be more understanding to some one else's plight!

Ez - posted on 02/09/2011

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** Mod Alert**

To ease any confusion, yes a post was deleted for a breach of No THUMPS. The speculation (that contained part of the deleted post) has also been removed.

Thanks guys.

Erin - DM Mod

Melissa - posted on 02/08/2011

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the police dont much get involved with silly facebook threats/arguments. You can block people and they cants ee you its as if you dont have an account at all and you cant see them. problem solved

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Krissy - posted on 02/09/2011

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Threats and slander are all able to be handled in a court of law. I wish schools would step up more, but they will claim that they have no control over kids after school hours.

Otherwise, protecting our kids is our job... if my child were a "target" and got picked on in school... I'd teach my kid to be REALLY smart about using the internet and putting themselves out there. Not their fault, but I would want to teach them to be wise about it... either they didn't need a facebook account at that age, or maybe they needed to be careful who is their "friends"...

Unfortunately, we cannot stop other people from being other people, sometimes. But if it falls into the illegal category, the only way to get them to stop is to prosecute and to carry through!

Sharon - posted on 02/09/2011

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Oh and the other thing that makes me think BULLSHIT about this... if you complain to FB, report the fake names and what not THEY'LL BLOCK THE ISP the idiot is posting from.

Sharon - posted on 02/09/2011

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It is to me.

Teens are different. I talk to my kids. I also keep them OFF facebook, myspace etc. My oldest insists he needs a social networking site to keep up with his peers. So I've allowed him one. It links to mine and I get to read all his posts, posts people make to his wall, information he puts out there and I control the password to his account.

People who blow smoke on the internet are JOKES. I've had my share of those too. And I did what I said I did. GOT RID OF THEM.

I understand the plight - I just don't understand why if they feel their lives are REALLY in danger they don't fucking do something about it.

I MOVED. I took my police reports went to my rental office and they helped me find another property far away to rent from that also belonged to them.

I then gave my mother the riot act for falling for their bullshit and then my brother. MY ONLY living relatives were cut from my life - because MY LIFE is important. Not their concerns for some asshat. After a year, my mother figured out I was serious, after THREE years my brother got it.

If you were really worried about your safety and your childrens' wouldn't get the fuck out of dodge? Or would you stick around and play fucking internet games? Its bullshit. A drama queen. And I don't buy it.

Rosie - posted on 02/09/2011

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i think it's ridiculous and needs to stop. bullying of ANY kind is fucking stupid. and anybody who does it is a troll (not internet one, but the little kind under a bridge).
yes, it's a death threat if sent by fb message, what's the fucking difference? if someone calls you, or says it to your face it's still a death threat. why wouldn't it be?
does a negative wall post constitute bullying? it depends on the post i guess, but most likely yes.

does bragging about drinking constitute police? -well, i'm not really sure if the police could do anything about it since they probably aren't drunk or stoned anymore. child services doesn't get involved in that anyway do they? not unless the parents involve them or someone else calls on them. so unless that happened then no.

and sharon i disagree :) internet stalking is just as dangerous and horrible as real life stalker. most of the time the person isn't ONLY stalking them through the internet anyway. they are doing it in combo with following them to work, or clubs, and being all around creepy. can you imagine changing your email tons of times, blocking facebook users only to have them continually finding you? i would think that would suck my balls as well. just google "internet stalker kills woman" and tons of pages fill up with the sick fucks that do this.

Sharon - posted on 02/09/2011

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Even though the person really deserved the reaming - here's an edited version..


LMAO Tonya - ok - I've had 3 stalkers. Back in the day before myspace and facebook.

Back in the day when they just sat outside your work place with a gun in their lap.

Back in the day when they sent boxes of chocolates one day and the next day called your work to see if you survived the poisoning.

Back in the day when they called you repeatedly, called your mother, called your work, then left messages all over town claiming they were about to commit suicide if you didn't show up.

Back in the day when they lurked in hidden corners of your favorite nightclub so they could try and spike your drink or grab you and ...? while they thought no one was looking.

Back in the day when you spent the night sitting on the floor of your second floor apartment watching your front door with a gun in your hand waiting for their ass to come back.

YEA, I've fucking been there. And you know what? I GOT RID OF THEM. I got rid of everyone who took their phone calls and then called me. I got rid of their family members, my family members and I PUSHED and I PUSHED and I PUSHED the law enforcement assholes TO DO SOMETHING.

I didn't lead those three assholes on. I didn't want to get fucking married. I didn't want to change my goddamned name to leslie. and I knew number three was a fucking fruitcake when on our first and LAST date he tells me he dreamt he stabbed his mother to fucking death through a screen door.

So reading about some lazy ass motherfucker who TYPES his threats (I'm dying laughing here) on a PUBLIC social networking site cracks me up. What a joke.

[deleted account]

It was but hey shit happens and life goes on. Once i leave this stupid small town all will be good.

Melissa - posted on 02/08/2011

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oh sorry I didnt see that comment. Sounds pretty rough what youve been thru chick

Melissa - posted on 02/08/2011

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yeah sure if theres a real problem then of course that wont work. I just meant form my experience all Ive had to do is block people. cancel phone calls. Police could do nothing for me and I was advised against showing up to court for the restraining order because of "making too much waves for my fiance at work" . But sure in a situation with a real threat I understand things cant be solved by the block button

[deleted account]

"You can block people and they cants ee you its as if you dont have an account at all and you cant see them. problem solved"

Mandy it's not that easy. Not all FB stuff like this is silly. A threat is a threat.
If they know who your mutual friends with even if you are not searchable and they know who your friends are you come up on their list. Mutual or not.
So until you have had someone come at you with alias after alias you can't sit there and say it's easy just block them because it's not that easy.

Mabel - posted on 02/08/2011

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I want to see how many on here have actually had a real stalker or been threatened like Shannon?

Angela - posted on 02/08/2011

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I honestly think it all depends on the person.
if your not a solid person,with a low self-esteem,no confidence and weak minded,then absolutley it can be affecting to that person and it makes me sad to hear all the deaths that have occured from such social networking sites,but its also a choice to have a Facebook or myspace page,they can always hit delete or block or delete the person thats bothersome. It's all about choices and decisions.

[deleted account]

I have thought of that Tonya. Seriously thought of it even to just take it to the police. But then again they aren't consistent with the time they drive past. I was just lucky most of the time that i was sitting down to feed the baby when they dove past or out the front on christmas morning playing with the kids, things like that. I would do the camera thing but i don't have the time with 3 kids running around.

Mabel - posted on 02/08/2011

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you know if you had a camera with the date and time on it then you could show how they are basically stalking you and even go so far as to send some of your proof to the local t.v stations and let them in on how the courts are allowing this to happen because of the (SMALL TOWN )situation.Just an idea.=)

[deleted account]

We have been to court for a restraining order but because we live in a tiny little town with one shop where hubby works the courts said that they wont do that because it's to hard to enforce in a small town and that if any of this was to get backt o court they would kick one of us out of town.
Thanks for the advice and support. The last time something happened was christmas but i'm sure it's going to build up again with my brothers b'day coming up.... It seems to happen when something that family should get together for happens.
He has trespassed before and when we were at mediation he was suprised to find out that i could have had him charged with it which is why they now to the slow as snails pace drive bys.

Mabel - posted on 02/08/2011

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You can also have an order of protection which I have against my brother for threating me and my son.That is regularly what you would get for family type complaints.That way when you go before the judge to get one he can look at all the stuff they are doing to you and your family.

Danielle - posted on 02/08/2011

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Have you tried a restraining order? If you can file one then the police HAVE to do something if your brother and his wife cross the line. Not only that I'd put up no tresspassing signs on your property. Find out where the property line is and they cross it ge them for tresspassing. It's ridiculous that you're havin to go through this.

[deleted account]

Danielle, Thanks for the advice. I have every little thing that has ever been sent saved, every little thing that has ever happened has been kept. It has all gone to the police and because they know who it is they refuse to do anything about it. " We are not here to sort out your family disputes."
It's not just on FB they drive past my house on a regular basis but thats not considered stalking or harrassment.
Thanks Layce. It hasn't happened for a little while now. Worst thing is it's my brother and his wife that are doing this stuff.

Mabel - posted on 02/08/2011

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"If you don't have the balls to get rid of them, then shut up and suck it up princess. Its up to you to take care of yourself."
Yeah way to show some support to someone in a very scary situation.

Danielle - posted on 02/08/2011

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"If you don't have the balls to get rid of them, then shut up and suck it up princess. Its up to you to take care of yourself."
Why so rude?
@ Shannen~ If you feel threatened my advice to you is to keep EVERY SINGLE msg, wall post and anything else that you can copy and paste. Eventually they will mess up and you will be able to do something about it and when that time comes you will have more than enough evidence to prove they are stalking/harrassing you. I would also put EVERYTHING on private. Even msgs. B/c if they don't know you then when they send the FR they can attach a msg to it.

Lacye - posted on 02/07/2011

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Shannen, my heart goes out to you because I know that has got to be a horrible experience. I just can't imagine what you have went through or going through if it's still going on.

I do think that if somebody is threatening your life through any internet source, the police need to take it seriously. They don't most of the time but they need to.

[deleted account]

"They can't send you messages if they're blocked."

No but they make new accounts and then search and then the shit starts all over again.
I don't have any mutual friends with any of the people who did it to me because i knew that if i did things would always get back to them about my life.
I have my FB so private you can't even search for me on FB but they know who i'm friends with even if they aren't so there is always a way to find me.

Carolyn - posted on 02/07/2011

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if you block a certain profile, they cant even look you up, let alone see your profile from a friends profile etc. It basically makes it as if you dont have a profile to that individual.

they cant see what you post anywhere on anyones profile, if they try searching you, you dont appear in the results. etc.

if people were seeing your comments etc, you didnt block them properly.

Sharon - posted on 02/07/2011

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If someone is harassing you, bullying you and you block them but they are friends with someone else... then you need to unfriend that other person too.

You don't keep shit in your life. If shit is sneaking in through the back door, then SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR.

If you don't have the balls to get rid of them, then shut up and suck it up princess. Its up to you to take care of yourself.

Mabel - posted on 02/07/2011

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But from personal experience blocking doesn't always work because if the person is friends with someone in your friends list they can still read and post or send a message to you.

[deleted account]

Emma it's not that simple. I have blocked about 15 people. They were all the same person who was harrassing me and stalking me. My FB is private and i never said yes to friend requests but i do have it so nayone can send me a message but thats because no matter what i think people should have some way of contacting me if i might know them.

Stifler's - posted on 02/07/2011

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I think if you're getting bullied, block the person. Problem solvered. Harassment has always been illegal like Mike said. So report them.

Sharon - posted on 02/07/2011

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Bullying and threatening someones' life has pretty much always been illegal. But now people are putting it in writing and up for the entire world to see.

Danielle - posted on 02/07/2011

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When it comes to FB ppl seem to hide behind their computer. Everytime (in my experience) someone threatens another person on there they are too chicken to say it to their face. So most of the time no I don't think it's anything to worry about. And when it comes to underage kids posting things on their wall that they shouldn't be doing then I say something to them. You don't want me in your business then don't be posting it all over my wall. You don't like it? UNFRIEND me. I'm not one of these ppl that post every lil thing I'm doing or when I'm fighting with my husband or had an argument with one of my friends. That's my business..not FB's. I got something to say I'm gonna say it to your face. That's just me though.

[deleted account]

I think parents need to step up and parent. If your child is allowed to use the internet then you MUST monitor them and their behavior. Discipline them when they do something wrong and if they keep it up then remove them completely from electronics. (yes it can even be done with the schools as communication is the key)

JuLeah - posted on 02/07/2011

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Bullying is bullying and each case ought to be dealth with. A threat on a persons life requires action. A teen (or adult) bragging about being drunk or stoned is not ever cool .... where are the parents? Yes, report to the higher authorities.

[deleted account]

I have had threats against me. The police did nothing. Apparently because it was just words written they couldn't act on them.
I understand it's hard for them to so anything because people use alias' all the time so the proof is hard to attain.

[deleted account]

We live in an electronic age, and bullying today is the same as it was 20 years ago, only there are more outlets for the bullies to do their worst. Sadly, what's said on sites like Facebook, is taken as seriously as things said face to face. I think a death threat on FB could be considered a death threat, and police involvement would be wise. I think negative and intimidating wall posts do constitute bullying. I also think that bragging about underage drinking, etc, should be cause for alarm, especially if children are involved. I don't know what the solution would be, in regard to people making threats and bullying online. I'd say ban the bully but they could easily make a new email account and new FB profile and be back at it in less than 10 minutes. I'd also say ban the IP address but with so many things being wireless and mobile, I don't know for sure that IP addresses even apply to those devices.



Sort of a related topic : My niece's husband is in the Navy. From time to time she brags on her Facebook about how she parties and smokes weed and things of that nature. I tried telling her that she should watch what she says on FB, because it can be used against her husband. She doesn't believe me and thinks it's no big deal. I hope she doesn't learn the hard way that it IS a big deal.

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