Family Drama

Nikkole - posted on 06/08/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )




Well here goes my long story.... My sister is 18 (turned 18 in March of this year) Well she was diagnosed with Bi Polar and Sever Anxiety when she was 11 or so well she has been HELL on wheels since she turned 13 she has done NOTHING but argue with my mother stealing,breaking things,acting out, and sleeping with guys (the sleeping with guys has been going on for only the past 2yrs) well my mother sent her to Military school because she didn't know what else to do with her she was at a breaking point, my sister went there and did not get her GED while up there (she couldn't pass it) she came home and was VERY well behaved for about 3months then she started to drift back into her old ways hanging with BAD friends, drinking, doing drugs, arguing, stealing all that kind of stuff, She went to live with my grandmother while she went back to high school to get her diploma and she would come home on the weekends and she would steal stuff come home at all hours of the night. Well she just graduated last week and the other day i was cooking lunch while she was home and her clothes were ALL over the kitchen table so i asked her to move them twice and she refused to so then i told her to move them well she got mad and flung her clothes across the room (while my two kids were in the room) and started yelling and cursing well i told her to leave the room she was scaring the kids she started to walk off and get smart with my husband so he kinda shoved her (not hard at all) out of the kitchen to get her away from the kids, so as my husband shoved her she screamed im calling the cops on you and she did when the cops got here my son was in tears saying he didn't want daddy to go to jail. Well she moved out (thank god) And now she keeps posting stuff on facebook about me and my husband how he hit her (which he didn't) and how its sad that we live with my parents still (even tho we pay half of EVERYTHING) and i am going to school and take care of my kids, and i messaged her telling her that its sad that she has to post stuff on face book to get attention and she threatened me with the cops for harrasing her lol i don't know what to do with her should i just leave her alone for good and be done with her file a restraining order against her so she cant' come around my kids or try to talk to her?

Sorry it was so long but i had to explain things thanks :)


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Amber - posted on 06/09/2011




Ditto to everybody else. You need to be the adult, because she isn't being one. Ignore her, don't interact with her, block her on facebook, and try to get your family to stop enabling her.
The longer she has the opportunity to live off family members and treat everybody like crap, the longer she will do it. Tough love sucks, but it usually works.

Jenn - posted on 06/09/2011




I would not respond to what she says on FB, and if she's being like that, I'd remove her from my friend's list so that you don't have to be exposed to her drama and bullshit. If she's 18, then she is an adult, and needs to act like one, but nobody can make her do that. What you CAN do though, is do NOT support her or enable her behaviour anymore. If everyone stops supporting her in her self-destruction, she will be forced to stand on her own 2 feet, and maybe she will grow up some. If she doesn't want to get her education, then it's time to get a job and support herself.

Alyssa - posted on 06/09/2011




I agree JuLeah, good advice. I have dealt with family that has a mental illness and drug abuse so I would say...Don't cut them off from your life completely, just look after you and your family and support your sister as much as you feel possible without it having an impact on you or your family (you are the only judge of how much or how little that support might be) She is only 18 and may well find her path in life...I'm sure you don't want to be known as the sister who had a restraining order put on her when she needs her family the most, that stuff will stick for life! Just do what you need to do, nothing more and nothing less.

Nikkole - posted on 06/08/2011




Well the thing is Me and my mom are not 100% sure if she is Bi Polar the doctor she went to seemed like a quack but my mom never had the money to get her tested again (she has issues with insurance) Her biggest problem is her attitude she thinks 18 is a magic number and you can do anything and everything! Your right tho im not going to respond to her i actually only responded to her to say not to come around my kids while she is acting like this because she has threatened to spank my son multiple times! Thanks for the advice :)

JuLeah - posted on 06/08/2011




She won't honor a restraining order. She is mentally ill.

She is offering you the best she has to offer. She is who she is, it is what it is.

Maybe one day she will find a program, med, something that helps her better fit into our society, but .... maybe not.

You have to take care of you and yours.

Leave her be. Let her post whatever she wants on fb. Don't rise to the bait, don't respond, don't make it bigger or worse, and stop expecting her to be any different then she is.

Mental illness impacts the whole family. I am sorry you are struggling with this. I am so sorry she is struggling with this. She can't be happy.

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