Father dying

Lynn - posted on 12/10/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My dad is dying and basically he has went down hill dramatically! In October he still looked after my children then took to his bed and we were told stage 4 lung cancer inoperable! Yesterday we were informed radiotherapy not worked and chemo nor an option! Today I had the chat with my 7 year old! I explained grandad was very unwell and he may have to go to heaven soon to be an angel but we would talk through prayer! This was very difficult but I felt it was necessary as dad lives with us and his condition is worse by the day

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Angela - posted on 12/15/2013

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Hi Lynn it sounds like your doing the right stuff. My husband passed away 5 years ago of cancer and I was left with with two daughters 11 and 15 yrs old. All you can do is be honest with your seven year old like u are. Don't be afraid to cry either and let your 7 year old cry to if need be. There may be times your 7 year old will be angry even distant thats ok..he or she is dealing with it in there own way. Talk about good memories of your dad and keep pics up..it helps. Also may be a good idea to let the teachers know whats going on so they are aware in case of mood changes. And you mom..bond with your dad..love him and dont be afraid to take sometime for yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with u and your family.
Angie

Minna - posted on 12/12/2013

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Sounds like you have done the right things, Be there when the kids want to talk further about it. Don't worry if you cry around them, just try not to get worked up and frighten them about death.
I would shield them from some of the more upsetting medical aspects as much as you can , but be straight forward about what they are aware of.
Try to find stuff for them to do away from the house, and tell them it's okay if they have fun,
Grueling as the last days of a loved one are, being around them when they're so sick has made it easier for me to let them go, God Bless your family,

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