Formula on the perfect marriage

Charlie - posted on 03/27/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

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The results are in: smart women should pair up with older, less educated men if they want a happy marriage.

Researchers at the Geneva School of Business analysed 1074 couples aged 19 to 75.

To increase the chances of a happy, long marriage, the researchers found a few key pointers.

The wife should be five years younger than her husband, the partners should be from the same cultural background and the woman should be more intelligent than her spouse. 27 percent more intelligent in fact, and have a degree, while the man should not.

”If people follow these guidelines in choosing their partners they can increase their chances of a happy, long marriage by up to 20 per cent,” said Nguyen Vi Cao, whose study is published in the European Journal of Operational Research.

Does this ring true for you?do you believe this is all the formula we need or is there more to a marriage .

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~Jennifer - posted on 03/27/2010

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I'm 8 years older.....
We are not from the same cultural background...
....pleading the fifth....

I'm pretty f'n happy though.

=)

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Iris - posted on 03/30/2010

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LOL!!
Without reading the responses.
My husband is one year older than me.
I'm from Iceland and white as snow, he is black American....cultural differences? YES!
He's done more school than me....I just love to listen to his knowledge on Eastern European /European/Roman history and Religion studies. I've never graded our intelligence but I'm pretty sure we are close to the same level.
One thing I'm sure of is that I love him and love him more each day. Been together for 12 years and married for 10 this spring.
Just live your life and enjoy it!!!!

Charlie - posted on 03/29/2010

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lol , ok so i was interested in this because Jamie and i are 5 years apart , same cultural background ( both small town Aussie kids ) and im way smarter Haahahaha im sure he would disagree LOL .

I guess in a way i can see where its coming from , having the same cultural background would mean you were more likely to have the same core beliefs especially when it came to equality , respect and parenting styles , ages i can see because of the fact that woman mature quicker than men im not entirely sure about the intelligence factor though .

Of course there are exceptions to every rule and i believe there are so many other important factors to add such as the ones Kylie mentioned , there just has to be so much more than those three factors .

Kylie - posted on 03/29/2010

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hmm well that formula works for my marriage I'm 4.5 years younger, same cultural background, he left school in yr 10 ..I've got two years left to finish my uni degree..been together over 10 years.. but i think that just a coincidence of course there is more to marriage! It's about attraction, values, trust, loyalty, friendship and mutual respect and goals.

Cassie - posted on 03/29/2010

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I think this is ridiculous. A marriage is successful or unsuccessful because of what we put into it or what we don't put into it. While our age, socioeconomic status, race, education, etc. can affect our marriage, it only does so because we allow them to. A perfect marriage is one that is worked at everyday that combines love, understanding, trust, forgiveness, and dedication. No "formula" can ever truly define the perfect marriage.

Just my take on it though.

Rosie - posted on 03/29/2010

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i'm 5 years older than my husband 3 months out of the year, does that count?!! we are kindof from the same cultural background i guess, maybe more social background. both of our parents are divorced, our parents make about the same amount of money as each other (not much money at all). i went to one year of college and he didn't go at all. culturally though, my family is mennonite/amish/christian -very religious. his family, only his grandmother is religious.

i think the study is kindof silly though. nobody knows what's going to attract someone to another person, and whether or not that attraction will last. if there were more people in the study, i'd be inclined to believe it a bit more.

Amanda - posted on 03/29/2010

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My husband is 1 year older than me, like Carolee my family life was roseanne/married with children, and my husbands was leave it to beaver. He is more educated than me (though not smarter) LOL.



I think the magic to a good marriage is a lot of things that have nothing to do with this study. Ie Compassion, Respect, Communication, and Compromise.

Lea - posted on 03/28/2010

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No, I am 2 years younger than my husband, and more educated. I frequently get frustrated with his lack of intelligence. I feel like I'm years older than him sometimes.

Carolee - posted on 03/28/2010

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Kind of funny. I just happen to like older guys, though. My husband is 7 years older than me, and I have been through more years of schooling than he has. As far as the background goes, we both happen to be white (he's the first white guy I've dated in YEARS), but he comes from the "Leave It To Beaver" family and I come from "Roseanne".



So far, we're trying out the "respect and love each other (no matter how much they piss you off)" angle, though.

[deleted account]

Well, if that's the case I should have a pretty good marriage cuz I got 2 outta 3.....and age isn't that important! ;)

[deleted account]

Oh, and one other fact about my hubby. He's one of those peopel that have ridiculous amounts of useless knowledge on so many trivia topics stored in his brain. He is a sports statistic nut-ya know the idiots that can discuss any game of any sport and quote stats. So someone mentioned Jeorpardy. Jeopardy try-outs have been here every other year at one of the casinos, and he has advanced from the initial try-out to the preliminary round. He was 2 questions short of the qualifying round. As for me, I think I got about 40% of the questions right!

[deleted account]

I find this funny.

I'm 9 years younger than my husband.

Comparing our grades and test scores in high school, I'm way smarter. But he can take any broken object and fix it, electrically wire and plumb a house, and get any old jalopy car running good as new. So mechanically he is way smarter. I guess that balances out.

Also, I have a master's degree and he has two associates and a bachelors (took him a while to figure out what he wanted to do). So I have higher degrees, but he has more degrees. Does that balance out?

And we come from similar cultural backgrounds. Both raised in Baptist homes in the rural south with not a lot of extra "stuff." The biggest difference is that education was stressed in my home and not his.

Johnny - posted on 03/27/2010

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Hmmm.... well I'm 7 years younger than my hubby and obviously smarter (lmao) and we are happy. But we've only been married for 5 years, so it's rather early in the game to know if we've got it all figured out. I don't know which one of us is more "educated". I've got more degrees and I read much more, but he understands stuff about science that just boggles my mind. We would make a big-time Jeopardy winner if we were fused into a single person. We don't have the same cultural background, but despite that, our parents actually raised us with very similar belief systems. I'm guessing this survey probably lacks statistical accuracy, because out of the millions and zillions of marriages, 1074 couples in Geneva is a pretty poor sample.

Tah - posted on 03/27/2010

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well lets look at his now...my hubby and I...he is 3 years older than myself....but we have many similarities.both set of parents married longer than 40 years each..both of our mothers are older than our fathers by at least a year..both raised in christian households, working parents, siblings...schooling...both born in november, close knit families, have the same views on pretty much everything..as a matter of fact when we met..his apt address was 515 and mine was 151...lol....



We are both artistic in different ways, he studied art in college and can create things i could only dream of and I love to write, have written books but never did anything with them but this year i am finishing up a book for military wives and am determined to have it published, and i do poetry for special occasions, people place a order, i deliver it...



We feel the same way about child-rearing and want the same things in life and love and support each other..sometimes we will be saying the same thing at the same time or i will be asking him something and he will say, i just sent you an email talking about that..and sure enough,,he did.....we probably give people cavities but hey....I dont think there is a such thing as perfect...but he's perfect for me...

[deleted account]

It's bullshit! It's only 1074 couples out of MILLIONS of married couples!



In any event, let's analyze my marriage-married almost 11 years, together for 17:

I am 14 months younger than hubby

We are not from the same cultural background-he was raised in a traditional Italian home, I was raised in a cultural Jewish home (yeah, I read the thread on that but never had a chance to respond yet)

Intelligence is subjective. I may 2 advanced degrees over hubby as an academic learner, but he has other intelligences that I don't. He is muscially inclined, I'm not. He is athletic, I'm not. He has more common sense than me.



OK, so for my parents, they will celebrate 41 years this July.

Dad is exactly 1 year older.

They are form the same cultural background, except that dad was raised strict Orthodox and mom was only Conservative.

Dad has the college degree, mom went to secretary school.



I hope hubby & I make it to 41+ years too!

Sharon - posted on 03/27/2010

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LOL my theory has been "The perfect man has flaws I can live with."

LaCi - posted on 03/27/2010

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I'm not married. Well, maybe commonlaw but I'm really not sure the legality of all that. "Life partners" ;) I AM 5 years younger... and will be the one with the degree soon... but it's not really an education issue, he may have less college under his belt than me but we're on the same level. I think being on the same playing field is important. It makes for good conversation. I don't want to feel like I'm talking to a baked potato... and I don't want to feel like that baked potato either. I really think 27% is waaaay too big of a difference to deal with. So I'm big on equality, but I do love the older male. Guy's just get better with age. Now, I'll get back to this when he eventually graduates and we'll see how it's going then. ;D



interesting stats though.

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