Friends with the other sex?

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 12/12/2011 ( 29 moms have responded )

12,224

26

264

Do you and your spouse have friends of the other sex? Why, why not? How does it work for you? How hasn't it worked for you in the past?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Dusty - posted on 12/24/2011

128

10

9

One of my best friends is a guy. My husband also has friends who are girls. If both husband & wife are fine with the other having opposite sex friends, then it shouldn't be a problem. However, if there is a trust issue, then some boundaries need to be set.

Merry - posted on 12/16/2011

9,274

169

263

Nope, we both have very few friends and all his are men and all mine are women. Just how it happened I guess. We never said anything about not tolerating friends of the opposite sex, just hasn't come up!

Lisa - posted on 12/14/2011

21

0

4

My best friend is a man. Best friend in the world and so very honest... When my boyfriend and I started dating I told him that my best friend stayed in my life. He asked how we met and I explained that someone had set us up. He was nice... we went out a few times and he kissed me goodnight it was like kissing my brother- GROSS! We busted out laughing saying eeeew! And became instant best friends. My boyfriend is fine with it... even talks to him sometimes on the phone :)

Stifler's - posted on 12/13/2011

15,141

154

604

Millzie and I always go to woolworths together alone to get supplies for a bbq becausse everyone else is drinking and we always seem to cook the cob adn stuff because no one else knows how, or i pick him up to take him to get his car when it gets new tyres. we don't go... let's go out to lunch together when tamara and damo are at work. i just find that weird. maybe i'm being old fashioned.

April - posted on 12/13/2011

3,420

16

263

My husband and I have mutual friends aka all his high school buddies are now my friends. None of them are female. If he suddenly befriended a woman, it would make me uncomfortable. Like Emma said, I better be invited if that were to happen! I do have a male friend that I don't hang out with anymore because I know he has feelings for me. He always has since kindergarten but I never felt the same way. Now that we're 30 and he still has these feelings it is just too awkward. I guess we aren't friends anymore since it has been 3 years since I saw him last. We still chat on FB but it usually turns awkward :(

29 Comments

View replies by

Sally - posted on 02/14/2012

577

5

11

The only thing id have a problem with is them going out and not being invited. I prob wouldn't go but id like to know that it be ok if i did. I know my other half feels the same, having said that neither of us have lots of friends just a few very close ones. He did have one very close male friend who really tried to excluded me in everything. Jason realised what was happening and stopped seeing him. I only found out when he didn't have his normal night out. Id do the same if any of my mates tried it. So its not just the opposite sex that can be the problem.lol

Deborah - posted on 02/13/2012

256

8

16

I don't discriminate based on gender when it comes to my friends.... I actually get along better with guys than I do girls most of the time. My friends have never really caused a problem in any of my relationships.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 02/13/2012

6,435

12

72

I believe you'd only have a problem if your SO keeps his doings from you. That's what my ex did and that's why we had problems.

Sylvia - posted on 02/13/2012

1,315

8

34

Yes, definitely. Although DH probably has more female friends than I have male friends.



We've never had a problem.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 02/13/2012

6,435

12

72

My husband is friends with a lot of my friends who are women. I don't see an issue with it since they all know me and they knew me first. Besides most of them are married and the one who isn't lives in the next province and we both talk to her.



I also talk with my husband's female Beta. So far it works because as long as they know me they're a lot less interested in ruining a marriage.

Cindy - posted on 02/13/2012

22

0

0

Gender should have nothing to do with friendships. My husband has an equal number of female friends as male friends. I have plenty of male friends but a few more female friends. My brother has more female friends than male friends.

Esther - posted on 12/24/2011

31

14

10

The only issue I ever had with it, was when he met a girl when he was on holiday with friends. They really clicked and I think she was in love with my boyfriend. He then said he wanted to go see her, but since she lived 2 hours away and he didn't drive, he wanted to spend the night there. I veto'd that! If they wanted to see eachother she could come to our place, she never did.. That was way back when, he wouldn't even think about proposing something like that now. Other female friends, I have no issue with. His guy friends, are my guy friends and there is no issue..

Niki: I don't get it. You don't want to see her because he offered her a job? Did you want the job? Is he the boss? What are your issues with it?

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 12/16/2011

12,224

26

264

I started this because my boyfriend has female friends I kept asking to meet. Never did. He never really talked to them much, nor hung out with them after we met. But he still considered them very good friends.



I worked until 7 months pregnant, was exhausted, moved in with him at that point, so we were working on the house, then our son came along and all was chaos. Lost sleep. Crying. You know how it goes :) haha



Then my boyfriend gets a different job, different hours. Lower pay. Struggle. Car breaks down. I get muscle spasms and can barely take care of my first kid while pregnant with our second. Fight with his MIL. Want to tell my parents off lol



It always seemed like it was something, but at the same time there was time to do some things.



Then right when I say 'Set up a meetup for us, will you?' he said 'Oh yeah, she accidentally drunk dialed me at 2am and we talked. She's looking for a job so I told her to apply at my work where they are looking for receptionists' I shit a brick!



I've never gotten to meet this best girl friend of his and I was fed up with asking to. Trying to find the time to. Trying to be okay with it. Then he offers her a job without talking to me first.



So, that was the end of that. Now I don't want to meet her!! lol

Rosie - posted on 12/13/2011

8,657

30

321

if it was someone i didn't know emma, i would have a problem. but he has two friends that are girls that i know, very well, and don't have a problem with.

Charlie - posted on 12/13/2011

11,203

111

409

When I had my baby shower at work Jamie had to work late so he couldnt pick me up with all the gifts I had so I got my mate to pick me up.

He walked in and started helping me grab stuff for the car and everyone was going up to him saying "Congratulations" and "isn't it so exciting"

I was pissing myself laughing watching him with his thick Brazillian accent try and tell them he was just my friend I was laughing so hard saying " yeah congrats Guil" LMAO .



I told them ( the parents ) he was a friend when he was packing the car but when we got home he was " Oh Jamie Im sorry I tried to tell them but everyone kept congratulating me" ( me still laughing at him fretting)

Jamie just burst out laughing....Guil is now Godfather to that baby.

Stifler's - posted on 12/13/2011

15,141

154

604

i have a problem with damo hanging out with a female friend alone without inviting me.

Rosie - posted on 12/13/2011

8,657

30

321

we both do, although for him, it is more than me. i dont' talk on the phone or go out with my male friends like he sometimes does with his friends (whom i know and we both worked with). if i am out with a male friend it is with a group of other work people. there was one time where my old boss (who was awesome as fuck) was back in town and i had on my facebook status that i was out with my friend heather, and he put on it that he was out at a local bar and i should go there to see him. so i did, told my hubby when i got home and all was good.

Ashley - posted on 12/13/2011

910

45

83

We both have friends of both sexes, but my husbands best friend is/was a girl, I say was b/c lately she is sort of absent from our lives. To me it would only be a problem if it became a secretive friendship or that neither the friend or your spouse was willing to let youget to know the "friend".

Charlie - posted on 12/13/2011

11,203

111

409

Yes we both do, we are confident in our love and relationship we have always had plutonic friends of the opposite sex even before we got together and his female friends are now my friends and my male friends are his friends.

We are also quite comfortable with either of us hanging out with a friend of the oppposite sex on our own too because we trust and respect each other and we love and respect our friendships.

[deleted account]

I don't anymore, but I used to (actually, most of my friends were male...). I am "friends" with some guys (mostly hubby's friends), but I would never hang out with them by myself. There's really no reason, though, other than the fact that I have no time... I don't hang out my my female friends that much either...

My husband's best friend is a woman and I have no issues with it. In fact, she's helping us with our overseas move (by letting us live with her until we find our own place) and I consider her one of my best friends as well. They have been friends since Kindergarten and at one point tried to be in a more serious relationship, but they both (seperately from each other) told me it was WAY too weird because they think of each other more like siblings than anything more. I trust them both and there are no issues.

I know that if I did have male friends my hubby would not be very comfortable with it, but he would trust me. He's been cheated on by every girlfriend he had before me, which caused a lot of trust issues (as do I, but for different reasons). After 4 1/2 years of marriage, though, he trusts me and I trust him and there are really no issues about any of that.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/13/2011

21,273

9

3058

It has never been a problem. Like Chrissey said, most of our friends are mutual. I get along better with guys, and he gets along better with girls. You know what? It was an issue 1 time. He was at his friends house, yes a girl, and she threw a party. She got so trashed and he spent the night watching over her, and talking with her. I trust him, and nothing happened....but I had an issue with it. Then I got to know the girl better, and then the issue disappeared. There could never be an attraction between them...at least from his side. She is also a friend of mine, and she knows I would beat both of their asses to a bloody pulp.

Vegemite - posted on 12/13/2011

916

0

17

most our friends are mutual as we were friends for 3yrs before we got together. One of my ex's was best man at our wedding.

Jamie - posted on 12/13/2011

185

2

1

I do, my husband doesn't really...

The majority of my friends have always been male.

I make it a point to not meet in person with them unless my hubs is there. Not because I'm afraid something is going to happen, but just out of respect for my husband.

I know I would feel uncomfortable with him going out to lunch with a female friend, so I just try to always think of how I would feel if the roles were reversed.

Stifler's - posted on 12/12/2011

15,141

154

604

Yeah we both do. Most of our friends are couples too so yeah. I have guy friends from way back and Damo has girl friends from way back. We both have exes on our facebooks.

Becky - posted on 12/12/2011

2,892

44

93

The majority of our friends are couples, so we are friends with both of them. I do have a couple of male friends who aren't married, and he has some female friends who aren't married. However, we don't typically hang out one on one with people of the opposite sex. Mostly because our friends of the opposite sex aren't that close of friends that we'd hang out alone with them anyways. I have a couple male friends - both married - who I would, but one lives on the other side of the country and I haven't seen him in 4 years.

Jennifer - posted on 12/12/2011

714

1

28

We both have friends of the other sex. It works because we trust each other. And I've had to get rid of a friend or two that wanted to push issues, so has he.

Sherri - posted on 12/12/2011

9,593

15

391

Yup we both certainly do. There is no why just because they are our friends and we enjoy their friendship. It has always worked for us and we have never had any problems present or past.

Medic - posted on 12/12/2011

3,922

19

552

Actually my two best friends are guys....and they are actually a few years younger than me. It works because they were my friends before I met my husband and he does like them although he sometimes feels left out. His best friend is a chick and I couldn't care less. One of my friends told my husband that he better treat me right because they were here before him and they would be here long after him if he messed up. haha.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms