Going in your purse

Katherine - posted on 10/24/2010 ( 43 moms have responded )

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I'm just curious......do you find it ok for your husband to rifle through your purse if he needs something? Without asking? And vice versa. It's been a topic of conversation lately. For me, in the past, it made me furious. I would have cash and he would just take it all without telling me or asking. So I wanted your thoughts and opinions.

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Tara - posted on 10/27/2010

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he always asks but he doesn't have to. He was just brought up to never even move a woman's purse from where it lays without asking, lol
I go into his wallet if I need his debit card, but again he knows cause I have to take his wallet out of his back pocket lol.
So even though neither of us really care, we both ask each other before getting what we need from each others personal storage place. :)

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September - posted on 10/27/2010

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My MIL actually taught my husband that it's not respectable to dig in a lady's purse. I actually don't mind my husband going into my purse; I have nothing to hide so it's not a big deal. If he needs something out of my purse I'm happy to share. If and when he does go into my purse he always tells me so it’s all good!

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I'd be okay with my husband going through my purse if he needs something. I have nothing to hide and we don't keep our money on us except for a few dollars at a time anyway. I think I'd be upset if he took ALL of what little money I had in my purse, but as long as it was for something important like gas and he told me at some point - as long as I don't have to find out on my own - I'd be fine with it. My hubby usually asks first, though. I'm in charge of the money and where it goes so he'd have to come to me for it anyway.

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My hubby won't go in my handbag, if he needs something and I tell him it's in my bag grab it he just brings me the whole bag. I on the otherhand just rifle through his wallet if I need some money. It's all ours, so it's not like I'm stealing it.

Alahnna - posted on 10/26/2010

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without asking, I would be livid! If he asked and I gave him permission to go through it to look for something or to take 20 bucks, I would ahve no problem.

Jenn - posted on 10/25/2010

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Well, he refuses to go in my purse even if I tell him to, so it's not an issue for me. I go in his wallet all the time if I have to grab the bank card and he doesn't care. If he did go in my purse I wouldn't care because there's nothing exciting in there, but if he was taking money without telling me I'd be pissed just because maybe I was planning on saving it for something.

Jocelyn - posted on 10/25/2010

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Lol it's like a treasure hunt isn't it?
Spoons, books, mini bottles of liquor, vibrators, toothbrushs, screwdrivers, the possibilities are endless!

Edited to add: Wow, I made it sounds like I'm carrying some kinky things :P I'd like to clarify that it wasn't ME that had the vibrator in my purse LOL

Krista - posted on 10/25/2010

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You never know what you'll find in a purse :P

True. I've had everything from food, to knitting, to spare underwear, to a Nobel Peace Prize medallion in there. Sometimes all at the same time.

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I don't mind Steve going through my purse for a pen or even to get my credit card from my wallet but if he's gonna take cash he knows to ask. I do the same with his wallet. He doesn't mind me going in it but I do it quickly, in and out and I don't take cash or snoop. His wallet and my purse are such cluster flucks anyhow that nine times out of ten we just ask the other "Hey, can you get X out for me please?" LOL Now, his pockets are fair game. I do laundry. I find money. It's mine lol

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I don't need to give him permission to go through my purse but a "hey, I'm taking this 20 euros ok?" would be nice. I give him the same courtesy when I'm rifling through his wallet :D

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I don't care if Kev goes through my purse... I just want him to tell me if he takes money or anything else so I don't have to look for it later on. usually he brings me my purse so I can take out what he needs for him... I think he expects to have his hand bitten off while rummaging my purse lol.

He hates looking for anything in there because there is just so much crap.



If someone other than my hubby or my best friend goes through my purse, I get insulted if they haven't asked for permission. I don't let my son play in my purse because he scatters the contents all over the house (he has stashes all over the place). It's a bit of a problem if I don't have my access card for work :S and I am not too fond of expensive lipstick smeared all over the carpet either.

Jane - posted on 10/25/2010

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My husband NEVER goes in my purse without asking and it's kind of a joke with us, when he does ask if he can grab something, he messes my whole purse up. I would also, never go in his wallet without asking. We respect that those are both personal and going in without permission would be rude.

Kimberly - posted on 10/25/2010

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I wouldn't care but he really has no reason to trifle through it and he never has. I never carry cash anyway, he does. He'd rather hand it to me if he needed something.

C. - posted on 10/25/2010

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Usually the only thing my husband goes in my purse for is the car keys. I don't really mind about that b/c I usually forget to take them out for him the night before (if he has to take our SUV.) IF my husband was going in my purse on a regular basis w/o asking and/or taking my cash w/o asking.. Then we might have a problem. Other than that, I don't mind him taking the car key out when I forget. I mean.. I go through some of his stuff if I have to find something. It just doesn't really bother us. Now, if we were going through each other's things on the daily.. We might be at each other's throats.. But this every once in a while stuff.. I don't really care. He usually calls me when he knows I'll be awake and lets me know before I can find out anyway.

Jocelyn - posted on 10/25/2010

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Meh, Jordan can go thru my purse all he wants. He's even allowed to take whatever change he finds, but he has to tell me when he's taking bills or my debit card.
I on the other hand LOVE going thru other peoples purses! lol. You never know what you'll find in a purse :P

Jess - posted on 10/25/2010

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Occasionally I will take a few coins out of John's wallet for the train or something like that, but I will almost always tell him. If I take any notes out I always ask first. We don't carry cash very often, but I think its polite to tell the other person. John sometimes goes into my wallet, but there is NEVER any cash in there !!! Debit card all the way

Becky - posted on 10/24/2010

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Generally it wouldn't bother me, but once in a while, if I buy him a small gift or something, I might stick it in there, and I wouldn't want him to find it. He never goes through it unless I tell him something he's looking for is in there anyways. And these days, there's typically nothing important in my purse, because 99% of the time, I carry everything in my diaper bag and leave the purse at home!

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We take each others' stuff all the time. "What's mine is yours," kind of thing. It's never bothered either of us. If he takes my cash, I know he must have needed it, and he'll replace it asap. Same here. My debit card was compromised and canceled by the bank, so I took his until I got a new one. I told him a few days after I took it and he was like, "Yeah, I figured." I guess that's just how we roll.

Jodi - posted on 10/24/2010

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It doesn't bother me if my hubby goes through my handbag looking for something. he tends to choose not to though. Mine must be a similar abyss to Loureen's - my husband is never quite sure where to start, LOL.

I'd prefer the kids ask before they go rifling through it though. Nothing quite like your daughter pulling out a tampon packet and playing with it in the doctor's waiting room......

Nikki - posted on 10/24/2010

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My husband HATES going through my purse, he will if he has to, and it doesn't bother me, but usually he will ask me to find what he is looking for because his response after rummaging around for 5 minutes is "I can't find anything with all this shit in here!"

Sal - posted on 10/24/2010

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we are fine with it, but it isn't something we do day to day or without mentioning to each other....my father in particular and my mum are very much the the opposite i doubt that in 40+ years of marriage my mum has ever gone to dads wallet nor my mum to dads...

Charlie - posted on 10/24/2010

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Jamie is afraid my eternal abyss of a handbag will suck him into a gravity crushing black hole and devour him , thats how scary my bag of crap is !

Jenny - posted on 10/24/2010

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My partner is like Krista's and Kelly's. He will not go in my purse even if I ask him to. He just brings the purse to me.

Johnny - posted on 10/24/2010

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I don't mind at all, as long as he doesn't take money or the bank card without giving me a heads up. He's got a bad habit of stealing my loonies, and that irritates me. I get the supermarket and have no coins for the cart. Urgh! Otherwise, I have nothing interesting going on in there. And most of the times he's in there, it's to get a diaper, because my purse also doubles as the diaper bag. Perhaps when I'm older and finished having kids, I'll become interesting enough to keep secrets from him and then I'll ban him from my purse ;-)

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My husband is just like Krista E.'s. I'm not really sure why, but for the longest time he would never even look down into my purse if it was unzipped. I've finally got him convinced it is okay for him to look in it if I ask him to find something for me, but that took 10 years. I remember several times while I was driving and he was in the passenger seat and my phone rang and he would just hand me the whole purse, like I could dig through the purse for my phone while driving! ugh...

I guess I take it for granted that he stays out of it, but I would be pretty angry if he ever took something without asking.

Kate CP - posted on 10/24/2010

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If he asks first I have no problem with it. But just going through my stuff I'd be pissed about. I don't do that to his things so I would expect the same courtesy in return.

Rosie - posted on 10/24/2010

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well my husband always asks-usually. i'm the one that keeps all the money anyway so he just knows i'm his personal atm. today for the first time he got my purse put it in front of me and opened my wallet and took out a 5. he didn't ask, but he made a point to make sure i knew what he was doing. he's never just gone in there and sneakily took out money. it's OUR money anyway so i wouldn't be bothered so much, i guess if he didn't ask. i'd be more preterbed that i didn't know where the money was, thinking i had lost it or something.

Tah - posted on 10/24/2010

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doesn't bother me..i don't keep money in it..i feed him dollars like a stripper..he says i give him allowance..i guess i do..lol....if i didn't, who knows where we would be..lol

Krista - posted on 10/24/2010

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My husband flat-out refuses to go through my purse. I don't know if he sees it as an invasion of my privacy or what. But if I ask him to fetch me something from in my purse, he'll just pass me my entire purse.

Maybe it's not privacy -- maybe he's just scared of what might be in there.

Katherine - posted on 10/24/2010

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So true about the crap!! My kids find gum, and all kind of junk. I just wanted to know if it was "personal" even though there is a bunch of meaningless stuff. The best is when my 19mo pulls out and unwraps my tampons.

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I only have a tiny purse. I wouldn't care if I had a husband and he went through it... I keep my cash in my pocket anyway. ;)

My son is the only one who likes to get into it, but I don't let him. I don't want him to lose/break my phone or my inhaler or lose any of my cards...

Erin - posted on 10/24/2010

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It doesn't bother me but like most, if he takes money without asking or saying something then that pisses me off. He almost always asks or says something though.

Serena - posted on 10/24/2010

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My husband doesn't find it quite as entertaining going through my purse as my children do. They always seem to find treasures in there, especially ones that I was hoping they wouldn't find like bubblegum.
He tends not to go adventuring in there cause he's afraid he won't find his way back out. Its like a bottomless pit in my purse, sometimes I don't even like to go in there.
Ever notice when you clean your purse out, how much crap you have in it?

Bonnie - posted on 10/24/2010

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Yup my husband goes through my purse. Sometimes he asks first and other times he doesn't.

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My husband never done this and tbh I'd prefer if he asked before he went into my purse, but if it was because he had no change to pay the window cleaner or something I wouldn't mind. If when Logan's older he went through my purse then I'd be annoyed.

Sharon - posted on 10/24/2010

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He can go through my purse all he wants, I don't care. But if he takes my cash without asking, I'll cut his damned balls off. LOL we have seperate bank accounts because he can't stop overspending but he knows my password can look at it any time he wants to.

Charlie - posted on 10/24/2010

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I dont have a problem with him going through purse but if he is going to take money out i would appreaciate if he asked first and he usually does .

Cassie - posted on 10/24/2010

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I'm totally fine with it. That's actually my 2 year old's favorite thing to do, rifle through mommy's purse. I have nothing in there to hide or keep from anyone so I wouldn't care who went through it.

My husband loves to steal any cash I have. It's actually a running joke for us that it's pointless for me to carry cash because Corey will steal it as soon as he can. ;P

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