guilty

Nicole - posted on 02/08/2011 ( 24 moms have responded )

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My son went for his immunizations.When he came out one of the volunteers asked him why he seemed sad and he told her that the needle had hurt him. A mom sitting nearby told him to shut up, he was upsetting her son. Her son seemed to have some kind of mental illness, because he had a meltdown on the spot.



I know how hard it is to deal with melt downs, as my son has autism, and I deal with my fair share of meltdowns, esp around transitions.



I felt so bad that we stressed her out, but my son needed to talk about his experience.



Could we have dealt with this better?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

Did you start screaming at her for telling YOUR kid to shut up? If not, you handled it a whole heck of a lot better than I would've wanted to.

I'd feel bad that the kid had a meltdown, but that lady can't control what some random stranger out in public says and if she has a habit of telling other people's kids to shut up.... someone is going to clobber her one day.

Becky - posted on 02/09/2011

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I don't think you did anything wrong, neither did your son. Needles do hurt. If he feels a little sad about the pain and wants to tell someone about it, he should be able to do that. This mom needs to understand that she cannot control everything in her child's life and environment, particularly when it comes to the behavior of strangers in a public place. IMO, telling your 4 year old child to shut up was exceedingly rude. I don't think I would've been able to ignore her!

Sharon - posted on 02/08/2011

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No. You handled it just fine. The other woman was a fuckhead.

24 Comments

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Angela - posted on 02/10/2011

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First of all she needs to be considerate of others and the world does not revolve around her child,and Kudos to you For being in control of the situation and not being all over her ass,Like I would of been if someone would have told my child to shut-up. I would have explained to her that its chaotic atmosphere and your son getting the shot and being upset isnt whats contributing to her sons meltdown.

Tracey - posted on 02/10/2011

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For anyone who's kids don't like going to the doctors or are ill try this website, they also do comics for certain medical conditions, might help?
www.medikidz.com

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/09/2011

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I have to agree with what most people have been saying...I would have had more of an issue with my son being told to shut up. If her child has that much of a problem, the place should know to get him directly into a room and wait in there until the doctor can come in. You have to mother your own children, not worry about how another kid might be effected...of course this means having some boundries though. I don't feel that you did anything wrong...or should feel guilty. The women should feel bad for telling you to shut up.

Lacye - posted on 02/09/2011

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First I would have blasted the bitch for telling my child to shut up. It's a free country and guess what, your son can say it felt like the pits of hell and it is fine.

No, it's not all about her son. Your son was the one that was stuck. It's not your fault that the other boy has Autism. If she didn't want her son to hear things like that, she should have waited somewhere else or tried to distract him real quick when she saw you two come out of the room.

Kate CP - posted on 02/09/2011

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The other mom needs to realize that the world can't stop for her and her kid. I would have had a hard time not going off on that lady.

Tracey - posted on 02/09/2011

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Surely the best approach for this other mum is for her to accustom her son to the fact that injections may hurt, not only vaccinations but other medical treatment, otherwise what will happen if he is involved in an accident or needs emergency procedures, he will go into complete meltdown.
You don't say how old her son is but there must be age appropriate stories about this?

Bonnie - posted on 02/09/2011

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Oh my, who tells someone else's child to their face, to shut up? That was definitely uncalled for IMO. She could have done it in a nice way. She could have said something like, "Miss, could you please try to get your son not to talk about it or to be upset, I have a son who is autistic here." Or something along those lines. It comes across nicer and respectful.

Sarah - posted on 02/09/2011

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Wow. She actually told your kid to "shut up"? No, you did absolutely NOTHING wrong. That woman needs to get over it & realize that it's NOT ALL about her & her son.

~Jennifer - posted on 02/09/2011

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"shut up", huh?

Now, this is where I would have politely said, " Ma'am, I realize that you are having a difficult day, but it's going to be worse if the doctor has to wire your jaw back together.....so why don't YOU work on keeping YOUR mouth shut, okay?"
*big pleasant smile here*

Tara - posted on 02/09/2011

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You handled it exceptionally well Nicole, the other parent is the fucktard in this scenario for sure.

Krista - posted on 02/09/2011

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I don't think you did anything wrong at all. I mean geez, if it had been a 2-month old crying after being immunized, would she have told him to shut up?

I feel for her, but it's unfair for her to KNOWINGLY bring her child into a chaotic situation where other kids will be upset, and then get pissed off at the other kids for being upset.

[deleted account]

I would have lost it and probably smacked her...just being honest I am horomonal but seriously you want to lip off to my son you got another thing coming. How ignorant really!

Katherine - posted on 02/09/2011

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Whoa....if someone told MY kid to shut up, I certainly would have said something! Kudos to you for keeping your cool.
That was totally unacceptable on her part. No matter what happened.
What a jerk.

Tracey - posted on 02/09/2011

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My doctors surgery has a separate room for people to wait in if they need privacy or could have something contagious. If your doctor's has this then the other woman should have waited in there if she thought her son would be upset by other people, or she should have found a way to distract him.

You cannot be expected to know what sets other peoples children off. My son goes into meltdown if he hears the word haircut but I don't expect everyone else to know this or to censor their conversation around him. If it is mentioned and he gets upset we distract him and say not for you just for XXXX.

Your concern was for your son and you did the right thing for him, she should have thought more about how to cope with her son without taking it out on other people.

Nicole - posted on 02/08/2011

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I handled it by ignoring the other mom, later I caught myself telling my son how it had hurt but it was going to stop him from getting sick and was worth it, but I cut my explanation short when I remembered that the mom was still in the room, at home we discussed immunization in more detail.

So I admit I screwed up. I am writing midterms this week and moving to a new apartment.

I had not explained immunization to my son. He saw his sister get the needle then got it himself, without the usual few days of explanation.

He was tough,she was tough, neither cried but they wanted to talk about it after in the waiting room and this boy was sitting there

Sal - posted on 02/08/2011

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if she said "shut up" i think you handled it very well, if this was a melt down due to some sort of mental issue the other mum should of known it was a possiblity and asked to sit somewhere calm and private, or gone to a private gp to get them done, your son wasn;t sreaming and acting up so you have nothing to be sorry or guilty about...sometimes people have to realise the whole world doen;t revolve only around them...

Jodi - posted on 02/08/2011

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You did nothing wrong Nicole, neither did your son. Maybe if her son is that bad, she should have considered having a nurse come to their home to give him the vaccinations. But taking him into a public place to have them done was her choice, no need for her to be a bitch about it.

Nicole - posted on 02/08/2011

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Yes there were many other people there getting their shots, and most of them were new babies. Lots of crying, and a bit of a chaotic atmosphere.

The woman has a few people there with her and called two men over to restrain her son. I had both of my kids, my 4 year old and my 1 year, getting their immunizations. My son is getting his before he starts Kindergarten, my daughter was getting her 1 year shots.

Stifler's - posted on 02/08/2011

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No FFS. What a jerk, he's a little kid and said the needle hurt him. How were you meant to know her kid was going to have a skitz.

Jodi - posted on 02/08/2011

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She really told him to *shut up*?



And no, it isn't all about her son. I can understand she has her difficulties, but how would she have coped if your son came out screaming that it had hurt? If you are in a place for vaccinations, and she is there for the same reason, and I also imagine there were other people there for the same reason, what did she expect? That everyone would tiptoe around HER needs?



If she didn't want her son to hear comments such as this, or anything negative about the immunisation, she should have sat and waited elsewhere. Telling someone else's child to *shut up* is rude IMO unless they are being total little shits.

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