Have you ever regreted your decision to have children? Or your decision to have more children (if you have more than one)?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sarah - posted on 12/03/2011

5,465

31

344

There are times when I regret it I guess......regret sounds awful, but there are times when I think "This would be so much easier if I hadn't had the kids!".

I think people regret most things at some time or another, whether it's a snap regret, such as......."Man, my husbands being a dick, I regret marrying him!!" or if it's every day is where the difference comes in. If you wake up every day regretting something, than that's probably something to worry about, if it's just a fleeting moment of regret, every now and then, I think that's just natural and nothing to be ashamed of.

Mrs. - posted on 12/02/2011

1,767

6

30

Sure, but I get over it.
I love my daughter, but raising a kid is hard, way harder than I thought.
I'm pretty sure most moms feel this way from time to time. Almost as sure as I am about how hard it might be to get them to admit it.

25 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

I will never regret the decision to have just one child-ever! I do regret the occassional comment from my son (although few and far between these days) about not having a brother. I do have regrets for the narrow-minded people out there (again, few and far between these days) who feel the need to remind me that "it's never too late to have more." Yeah- I have regrets for those kind of people! But I have no regrets in the small size of our family.

Amanda - posted on 12/02/2011

1,677

13

310

No I don't regret having kids. I do sometimes wish that I hadn't fallen pregnant with my daughter as when I did so I would have had more time with my son before she came along. I was happy with one child and was on the pill, my daughter obviously had other plans for us.
I also wish that I had found out I was pregnant earlier into my pregnancy with my daughter than I did, I wish that I had been able to enjoy being pregnant with her.

Iris - posted on 12/02/2011

1,993

29

51

No, I've never regretted having my two girls. On the other hand, we decided on two kids, and sometimes I regret that decision.

Stifler's - posted on 12/02/2011

15,141

154

604

I love Renae and Logan but sometimes I wish I'd waited til after I had my hens night and wedding child free and finished uni. Life's not perfect though and I don't regret having them young or close together.

[deleted account]

Hmmm, okay. First and foremost, I see what you're asking. Regret is a taboo word whenever paired with your children, so I understand all of the strong NO's.

Regret means to be disappointed, remorseful, dissatisfied, etc. I think that a mother can safely regret the decision to have a child (or more than one) at some point in time, etc, without being remorseful over the child in particular.

So, I will be specific, I regret that I had my son at 18 and that it took a full 3 years to become financially sound enough to provide for him the way I feel a parent should be able to. I believe that my choice to have him when I did was a bit selfish because I couldn't stomach having an abortion and it was unbearable to imagine someone else raising my child. That being said, my selfish decision drove me to succeed at a much more accelerated rate so that I could move on from the regret. Deep down though, I am so envious of planned pregnancies between married couples. I am envious of the elaborate planning, the decorating of the nursery, the excitement of family members over the joyous arrival. I am envious of couples who share the burden of 2 hour feedings throughout the night. I regret that I will never experience parenthood in that way. Regardless, I wouldn't trade my son for anything in the world.

I hope that made sense!

Jenni - posted on 12/02/2011

5,928

34

393

I'm sure we all have *moments* when we regret having kids or frantically search for that misplaced return address. :)

But overall... absolutely not. I love being a mom. Sometimes... I'll admit, I need a break! It's bittersweet for me when the in laws take them for a night so we can get some *alone* time. I love that we can go out (dinner usually) and get in the car in under a minute. I'm still flabbergasted by that notion. "OMG! I don't have to put other people's shoes and coats on and buckle them into the car!" Or... I don't have to leap out of bed and immediately start making breakfest, getting drinks, changing diapers, getting little people dressed and teeth and hair brushed for the day!

But yeah, I wouldn't trade them for the world. Despite them running me ragged some times. I love the cuddles, snuggles, kissing boo boos, teaching, seeing everything in the world for the first time again (through the eyes of my children), watching them accomplish new feats, milestones, seeing their little personalities emerge...

I did wait a little while to become a mom. I was 26 when I had my son. So I kinda feel like I got all that independent, freedom, single-life out of my system.

Becky - posted on 12/02/2011

232

23

9

My daughter was not planned, and I was too young, and not in a very good place when she was born . . . but I have NEVER regretted having her. I don't even regret the time in y life. It's been difficult at times, being young, broke and struggling to get by. There was a reason that she was born when she was!

My brother & his GF at the time got pregnant, and chose to have an abortion. Less than a year later, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter . . . not long into my pregnancy, we discovered my grandmother had cancer. She tried to fight for a while, but in the end was told she was terminal and further treatments would prolong her life by maybe months. My daughter was the first of the next generation, and the only great grand child my grandma ever meet! She was fiercely proud of her no matter how she came to be in this world. My Grandma finally passed when my daughter was 7 months old. The last time I was able to see my Grandma, my parents where there & I could only get a 1/2 day off from work. After spending the morning there, I said my good by's to my ailing Grandmother who seemed only a shadow of her former strong self . . . but when I told her I was leaving, that frail woman grabbed myarm with all the strength she used to posses and looked me straight in the eyes and said:
"You're not taking that baby with you!" I explained that my parents were going to watch her for the rest of the day & they were not leaving . . . . she hugged me & kissed me and wished me a good day at work. Everything was right in her world as long as my daughter could spend just a little more time with her!

[deleted account]

No, J was thoroughly planned and anticipated. I do wish that I had been a bit older when he was born. I married a man quite a bit older than me, so he was ready, and I thought I was ready, but that readiness was born more of ignorance than anything. I never got to experience the irresponsible teen & 20's part of life. I battled cancer in my teens, then spent the first part of my 20's so engrossed in my work there was never any going out drinking, partying, etc.I didn't know what there was to miss out on at that point in my life--I wouldn't learn about the whole 20's scene until I started watching movies and TV shows after J was born, THEN I wanted to have experienced that. But I get over it--If we had waited, my husband would not be able to be the energetic, involved dad that he is, he'd be too old, so I'm glad we acted when we did :)

[deleted account]

Our first child was unplanned and a big shock but she was very wanted.We planned our second child and there now 7 and 2 and we would not change a thing.They were the making of us, they made us who we are today.Were proud to be able to call them our daughters.



I truly believe everything happens for a reason.Its then up to us how we go about dealing with it.Thankfully for us our daughters were blessings.

Sal - posted on 12/02/2011

1,816

16

34

No I don't regret having them I do regret that I didn't enjoy my son more as a baby I wasn't able to see how blessed I was I also wish my 2 daughters werent so close together as I was to exhausted to enjoy them but not for 1 second do I regret being a mum

Becky - posted on 12/02/2011

2,892

44

93

No. Not even nights like toniht when I'm sleeping on the living room couch with my pukey toddler. (although that's a part of parenthood I could do without!)
I got preggnant with my first in our first year of marriage. We're coming up on 5 years now, and I have spent the entire marriage either pregnant or breastfeeding, or both. That can be a little hard on a new marriage! On the other hand, I was 30 when we got married, so if we'd waited, we might not have been able to have kids. So no, I don't regret anything. The only thing I regret is that I'll never have a little girl. But that's out of our control.

Ashley - posted on 12/01/2011

910

45

83

I do regret that the baby I am carrying will make the baby I have not a baby anymore. I got nearly 3 years with my oldest and I loved teaching him and being with him. I wanted approx. the same amount of time with my 2nd son too, but along came baby 3 (though not born quite yet) too soon. I don't regret him in the way I wanted to have another child but the timing is off.
As for all my kids I do wish my husband and I were together longer before baby 1 b/c we missed out on soo much couple time, but we love our boys more than anything so I guess anytime I regret the things I missed I think of the things I gained like teaching my son to skate and read :)

Sherri - posted on 12/01/2011

9,593

15

391

My only regret is I didn't have more children when I was younger. I would have loved an enormous family.

Elfrieda - posted on 12/01/2011

2,620

0

462

I did think, "oh no, we made a big mistake" when my newborn son was colicky, but ever since he recovered I like being a mom more every month. In a couple of weeks he'll be two and he's getting more awesome all the time! I wish we hadn't waited so long to start a family. (we waited 5 years after we got married to even start trying) I'm 30 and it's not that easy to get pregnant anymore. We're both kind of dreading the newborn stage for the next one, but we know it gets better, so it'll be easier to get through, I'm sure.

Teresa - posted on 12/01/2011

709

37

56

No regrets here. I would NOT want to go back to my life without him. He is such a special person in my life, I could not not him here. I am 6 months pregnant now and am enjoying this time with both. When I feel my second son move inside me I try to imprint it on my memory so I can remember this special time. I just want him to stay in as long as possible. My 7 year old came 3 months early and I do not want to go through that again.

Jane - posted on 12/01/2011

2,390

262

487

My son has a lot of problems. He is ADHD, ODD, Bipolar and has sensory issues. He can be violent, abusive, self-destructive and vengeful. On his bad days I must admit I regret that my daughter has a brother. But then he does something nice and I remember that I love him in spite of the heavy burden we all carry due to how his brain is wired. After all, he IS cute when he's asleep. And maybe someday, somehow, he will find his niche in the world and will be happy. If so I will have done my job.



On the other hand, I do not regret my daughter at all, even when she cried for 8 1/2 hours straight when she was a baby.

Vicki - posted on 12/01/2011

1,150

0

166

No, not regret. I sometimes fantasise about the responsibility free life I used to have, I'm sure I didn't make the most of it when I had it! Studying would be easier, lots of things would be easier. However I'd still desperately want a baby so I'd still be missing something.

Krista - posted on 12/01/2011

12,562

16

847

Nope. There's been the odd day when I've missed my old, irresponsible life. But I don't regret having my son for a second -- like Johnny said, my kid was planned and thoroughly desired.

[deleted account]

Nope. They're also the only reason I don't regret my marriage or how long I STAYED in that marriage (since my son wouldn't be here if I'd left when I knew I should've).

Yes, life as a single mom is hard. I do NOT like being a single mom, but I LOVE being a mom and I LOVE being single.... ;)

Johnny - posted on 12/01/2011

8,686

26

322

Not in the slightest. Mine was planned and much desired. Ditto if we ever succeed in having another.

[deleted account]

Regreted? Never. Wished I waited longer in my relationship? Yes. I do wish my husband and I had time together (with our oldest, of course, since she's my stepdaughter and we've had her full time from teh beginning) before we had more kids. I love all my children with my whole being, but sometimes I think life would have been easier if we had them a couple years later... Of course they're worth every second of hardship, but still...

Carolee - posted on 12/01/2011

21,950

17

585

I've wondered what I was thinking, but I've never regretted having my kids.

Everybody goes through phases where they wonder what their life would have been like had they made different choices. I've thought about it. I would be dead. Seriously. I don't regret having my kids. I don't regret having more than one... even on my "bad" days.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms