here's one

Veronica - posted on 01/17/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )




Oral sex - sex or not --- this was in the Welcome to COMs forum - and thought it was a good issue to discuss -- what do you ladies think?? Sex or not??

"My 23 yr old daughter and I were conversing about how teens and young adult believe that oral sex is not sex. She believes that intercourse is the only type of sex because is only used when there is love/caring. I had overheard other teens make this statement too. I was wondering how many parents have heard of this opinion by teens and young adults?"

I think sex is sex - there is just different parts of it - intercourse, oral, foreplay - I personally classify it as all sex, because its still part of sex.


JL - posted on 01/17/2010




I agree with everyone else oral is a sexual act and teens should be taught that they need t take precautions and make wise decisions when considering giving or recieving oral.


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Michelle - posted on 01/20/2010




Beyond how I feel personally about it (looove it lol) I agree that it's a much more intimate act. For example, my brother in law is your typical 19 year old college guy-- sleeps with anything with legs and doesn't call her tomorrow. It's disgusting. He refuses to perform oral sex because, in his words, it's just.... different. I agree. I think you are getting a lot closer to someone. I guess. I'm having a hard time explaining myself on this one.
I also think that kids thinking it's not sex is dangerous. I think the reason it falls into the "sex" category is that it has all of the dangers besides pregnancy (although there are those crazy women who use it to get pregnant..... different subject). You can still get all sorts of STD's, it is still considered rape if it's not consensual, and there is still a heavy emotional tag to it.

Rosie - posted on 01/19/2010




i guess it all depends on how you define sex. i don't think of it as sex cause i guess i define sex in my mind as intercourse. although i do believe that young kids need to be taught that you can catch std's from it, and it almost always leads to sex eventually. i personally find sex more intimate (emotionally) than oral sex, i'm also pretty sure that i find kissing more intimate (emotionally) as well. i do love to give and receive it though. had to find the right man to love receiving it first though!!

Charlie - posted on 01/17/2010




Oh yeah Oral SEX is fantastic as long as both parties are giving ;P

I always give but i expect him to reciprocate its only fair .

I totally get what you mean Diana about it being more intimate .

Veronica - posted on 01/17/2010




I agree Diana - it does seem to be more intimate - its like a further step to intercourse - just because of the closeness - lol

I just want to clarify that i dont dislike oral - its just not a preference - at least not anymore - i hate to admit it - but its one of the things my husband likes the most - and i purposely hold it back from him for personal intentions -- not the wife of the year though, thats for sure -- ive got sorted issues to deal with....

[deleted account]

I have noticed this attitude. It's been all over the news here, and I've hard some people talking about it. I think it's bogus, though. Bill Clinton's case should've proven once and for all that oral sex is still sex. lol "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." "I did, in fact, have sexual relations with Ms. Lewinsky." I mean, come on...It is called oral *sex*.

The current teen/pre-teen attitude toward oral sex is dangerous. They forget, or don't know, or purposely ignore, that they can still get an STD from oral sex. There's also a prevailing culture of being paid, either through money or through objects, for oral sex among teens. They don't see it as prostitution. I beg to differ. lol

As far as it goes...I love oral sex. And I think it is, in a way, much more intimate than penetrative sex, as is kissing. Kissing requires two mouths meeting-and I'm pretty careful about who I drink after and things like that, so for someone else's mouth to touch mine is a pretty big deal. Same with oral sex-it's a big deal for me to put someone's sexual organ in my mouth. lol I guess it's a weird idea that it's more intimate than penetration-but to me, it just is.

Mel - posted on 01/17/2010




nah its all sex just a different kind. I dont have sex since I became pregnant I cant be F*cked with it but I do give oral to my man cause I know he's frustrated and doesnt understand =) and in answer to your q Veroncia I prefer it. I've always een way more into it then sex

Dana - posted on 01/17/2010




I believe it is sex, it's called oral sex, it's just not intercourse. As far as enjoying it? I like to give and receive!. ;) I think sex is much more fun with it!

Charlie - posted on 01/17/2010




It may not be sex itself BUT its a sexual act , it is just a sign of immaturity to think the way that girl does .

Veronica - posted on 01/17/2010




I agree with you - intercourse is pretty intimate in itself (obviously!) but I think oral is more - mainly because of how 'close' you are to the actual sexual organ! LOL

To go on another note -- (and maybe this is a WAY too personal question -- how many prefer this? Im not that big into it, personally - its a 'nice' part of sex -- but its nothing im so into that i gotta have it all the time, or give it all the time either -- its just not that important or that big of a part of sex for me. (My husband thinks otherwise for both sides of oral sex! ahahahah go figure!)

Anyways - I agree with you Amie and I feel the same way about it.

Amie - posted on 01/17/2010




I've never heard of that opinion before and I have a teenage sister. That's more than a little disturbing. STD's can still be passed through oral sex.

I classify it as sex because it is a part of it. Just because it's only one aspect of the entire experience doesn't mean you are not having sex of some kind. There's a reason it's called a sexual act, because it is one! In some people's minds its a lot more intimate than actually having just sex. Which I can understand, for me oral sex is only for someone I deeply care about. Not to make me sound like a floozy who was out banging every tom, dick and harry but for me that is something I always just waited a little bit more for. I don't even know why I think that way I just do.

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