Hiding who you are, denying who you are....

Sharon - posted on 11/22/2010 ( 19 moms have responded )





I watched a segment on 20/20 last night (I had TiVo'd it, so I'm not sure when it aired) called "Albinism: Caught Between Dark and Light." It really pulled at my heart strings -- especially the story of 15-year-old Angel Stillman, a girl with albinism who has had to transfer in and out of eight different schools since preschool due to being teased. All she desperately wants is to fit in and have at least one friend. Sniff.
Eventually, she takes classes online to escape the taunting and ridicule, but that only makes her feel more isolated. So she decides to give public school one more try, but first she has (what she considers) an extreme makeover … adding lowlights to her white hair and dying her lashes and eyebrows a darker color. (Check out these shocking celebrity hair makeovers.) This is actually controversial in the albinism community, known as "passing," since they are aiming to hide their condition. However, by undergoing this extreme makeover, Stillman's been able to form friendships. "They get a look on the outside and then they want to talk to me and then want to see what's on the inside and then they want to be closer friends," she says.
Stillman's makeover decision makes me feel conflicted because on one hand, it saddens me that she has to deny who she is in order to fit in. But on the other hand, I wonder why didn't she consider this makeover sooner? And I am in awe of how a few beauty tweaks changed her life for the better. What do you think?

The above is the article, not me.

What a load of horseshit. If that were the case we'd all be guilty. Every single woman who extends her lashes, uses colored contacts, dyes her graying hair, uses a relaxer, gets a breast reconstruction.... we would supposedly be hiding who we really are. Bullshit. There are norms for societal beauty. Pale on pale is not attractive, interesting yes, but not attractive.

Aside from those who are addicted to plastic surgery - are these people right? Should we NOT be using ANY artificial means to augment ourselves?

Most especially - was this girl wrong to want to fit in?


♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 11/22/2010




I seen that segment (Months ago)..and hell no she is not wrong!

She tried everything she could and did that as a last resort…..(And looked good, and felt more confident) I don’t think there is anything wrong with “Altering your look” if it makes you feel good…

Yeah they say love yourself for you, but it doesn’t hurt to love how you look, taller with the 5inch heels on, or the larger or smaller breast, or hair/lash extensions…the padded bra, and butt pads….

What gets me upset is you have women who wear the padded bra, but then think its wrong to have breast implants…ect…contradictions…Grrrrrr

[deleted account]

I saw that particular episode of Nightline. In her particular case, I thought she was a bit of a drama queen, and her mom played into it.

HOWEVER, I don't think there is anything wrong with altering your looks as long as it's not permanent (the exception would be plastic surgery for a disfigurement).

There is nothing wrong with wanting to fit in, but I felt this girl and her mom were putting too much emphasis on outer beauty and not enough on the inner.

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Bree - posted on 11/23/2010




Everyone wants to fit in. It sucks that the girl or any child has to go through feeling like that for ANY reason. I am a hairstylist so I see daily what a new cut or color can do to someones self esteem. Even a trim is sometimes all someone needs to feel a boost. I've also seen the good that my field does in different ways. Locks of Love and so on. I think that if someone wants to feel beautiful be it low maintenance soap and water routine or full on TV makeup and hair more power to them.

Kate CP - posted on 11/22/2010




High school is a bitch and I don't blame the poor girl for trying everything she could to fit in and make a friend. I find it sad that kids are so set on outer beauty that they couldn't even say hello to the girl to get to know her before deciding she's a freak. :(

Stifler's - posted on 11/22/2010




I'm so getting a boob job when I'm finished with the next baby if I can breastfeed... even if I can't.

Lacye - posted on 11/22/2010




If it makes her feel better, let her. I have a cousin who has 2 albino children, one she gave birth to and the other she adopted from China. To me, albino people are beautiful in their own way simply because they don't look like the "norm."

Charlie - posted on 11/22/2010




My body , My choice as it is or should be for everyone , i like my mascara , I like my lip gloss , and you better believe Im getting a breast reduction when i Finish breastfeeding , she isnt denying who she is she is enhancing it on her own free will , whos buisness is it what se does .

April - posted on 11/22/2010




i thought she looked pretty just the way she was. I've seen worse looking teens and they were not albinos. Oh well. If it made her happy then more power to her

Stifler's - posted on 11/22/2010




I think we should do whatever makes us feel good and confident. If that means denying that you are an albino then so what. I wear padded bras and waist cinchers under dresses to make me look thinner and stuff. She wasn't wrong to want to fit in, maybe she didn't like being extremely white either just like I don't like my natural mouse brown hair or acne.

[deleted account]

Personally, I'm against it. Which would be why I don't wear make up, 'do up' my hair (though that's minor), would never consider breast implants, etc.... For others though.... while I do find it sad that she had to go to these lengths in order to be accepted.... If a touch of make up, hair dye, whatever makes you feel better for YOU... who am I to say you are wrong?

Jodi - posted on 11/22/2010




While I myself have no need to use artifical means to "beautify" myself and go out "aue naturale", I have no problem with people who feel the need or desire to do so. I personally don't get, but it's not my issue to get!
It's sad that she never fit in looking the way she did (we had an albino girl in our school growing up and she fit in just fine) but if this is what she had to do to feel confident and gain friendship who are we to judge her?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/22/2010




Yes we are Cathy...yes..we are!

I was going to say the exact same thing as you Sharon..until I saw that you were not the one who wrote the top half! Give me a fucking break...I have grey hairs that will soon be dyed..once I loose all my baby weight I am fixing my "milk bags" and the nasty c-section scar along with a tummy tuck! We all envision ourselves to look a certain way to make us feel more secure with ourselves! I say good for her to give society another chance...cause hell....sometimes we don't deserve it!

LaCi - posted on 11/22/2010




Who cares what people do to feel beautiful? I know I don't. If michael jackson felt prettier with the thousand nose jobs, so be it. Whatever makes you happy.

[deleted account]

I don't think she is wrong for doing this. If it gives her more confidence that it's a good thing surely =]

Becky - posted on 11/22/2010




I don't think she's hiding or denying who she is. Who you are is more about who you are on the inside anyways, not what you look like! Kids can be cruel, and if this is what she needed to do to fit in, while I think it's a little sad that she wasn't accepted the way she looked, I don't feel she was wrong.
Not all of us were blessed with bodies we feel good about. If I had the money, I'd have liposuction and a tummy tuck! If making changes to your haircolor, getting a breast augmentation, etc, makes you feel better about yourself and gives you more confidence, well then, go for it.

[deleted account]

Hey! I'm pale on pale! I'm fair skinned (WHITE WHITE) and have blonde eyelashes and eyebrows. Aside from the hair on my head (strawberry blonde), all the rest of my hair is blonde...so blonde you don't see it. Which is why I rarely shave my legs :P So there lol Pale on pale....hrmphhhh (totally messing with you Sharon :)

I also never wear make-up so I guess I'm butch too ROFL

Petra - posted on 11/22/2010




Hahaha, we get knocked for NOT using artifical means to beautify ourselves. Most women I know who leave the house au naturel are considered butch. On TV the message is that, if you're not wearing makeup, getting your hair done and dressing in flattering clothes, you don't care about yourself. It is a load of horseshit.

Of course this girl wanted to fit in and she is not wrong to do so. Its unfortunate, but that's just how it is these days. However, I knew an albino dude in highschool and he didn't have to do a thing other than endure the nickname "snowball" in order to fit in - no one really cared.

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