Highest Disrespect or not?!

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 11/15/2010 ( 29 moms have responded )




Is it a form of high disrespect when a child (young or old) calls their parents by their first name?

Why or why not…

How would your parents react if you called them by there first names?? Or did it not matter?

My father was not very strict, but he did have a short list of things that, if broken we were liable to get our teeth knocked out (not literately, but figuratively)

And calling him Lawrence or Larry was in the top five of major don’ts…


Sharon - posted on 11/16/2010




I'm not sure I consider it disrespect but I won't stand for it.

I carried my kids, gave birth to them, struggled to raise them and my title is MOM.

There are plenty of Sharons out there, they have lots of friends but I am their MOM.

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Amie - posted on 11/16/2010




Mine went through phases (when they were toddlers) where they called my husband or myself by our first names. It never really lasted long. We didn't make a fuss about it and they just stopped on their own.

If one of my older children called me by my name it would be weird. I wouldn't make an issue of it, the more you harp on something the more kids seem to take to it. =/

They call me mother when they're embarrassed or upset with me. I'm fine with that. LOL

I can't imagine calling my parents by their first names, that would be weird too.

Lacye - posted on 11/16/2010




If I had dared to call my dad Benny or my mom Jane, I think they would knock me out. I called my step mother Mama for a while but I started to call her by her name because I saw that it upset my mother a lot. But to my daughter, I'm Mama not Lacye. Even when she is in her 60s and I'm in my 80s, I'm going to be Mama.

We try to keep the confusion down in our home though. I call my bf Daddy when Lily is around and he calls me Mama. And when my sisters are around, they call me Mama so she won't get confused.

Tara - posted on 11/16/2010




I know a family who has four children all but the youngest refer to mom and dad as Dave and Judy and always have.
When they were new parents with just one child they ran a mission group out of their home and because Joseph grew up hearing everyone call them by their first names, he did the same, they didn't mind, they thought it was weird but were not upset by it. Then they had more kids and they all followed Josephs lead and now they all do, the youngest says papa and "dudy" instead of Judy.
I wouldn't find it disrespectful if they had always done it or if it was necessary to get my attention, but if used only in anger or disrespect than I would be pissed.
And would do the reverse and start calling them "girl" or "boy" or "daughter" or "son".

Stifler's - posted on 11/16/2010




No I call my son Son or Sonny Jim occasionally even though he's 9 months old

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 11/16/2010




I call my son…son at times…he also like to be called Big brother…and I use that for terms of endearment…

C. - posted on 11/16/2010




I saw a few people talk about they don't call their daughter/son by that term.. Am I the only one that says, 'Look, son, you need to get over here now' if my son is misbehaving?? Usually that's a last resort and I call him by his first name several times beforehand, but I still do it and I know others have as well..

Laura - posted on 11/16/2010




The only time I've ever called my parents by there first name is in public when there are a lot of parents around. As for grandparents we were raised to call them Grandma Emily and Grandma Irene instead of by their last name and I'm passing this on to my kids because it made us feel closer to them.

When my oldest was about 2 I was calling for dad and he was copying me by yelling "Curtis" too. And I asked him "Who's Curtis" he said "daddy" and I said "well who am I?" he responds, "Um...Honey?" Cuz that's what he always heard daddy calling me. I almost 3 years later I still giggle at that one.

[deleted account]

I have used both my parents names but only when introducing them to people and to get their attention when needed. I want my 13 month old son to call me mommy which he does (at the moment) because I had to work really hard to become a mum and so I love being called mum. My hubby is called Dadam by our son because he is daddy and Adam and hubby loves it, he thinks he is the only Dadam in the world.

I don't think it is disrespectful to use your parents first names if they are happy for you to do it, however, if they have requested that you not do it and you do it is a little disrespectful in that you are ignoring their wishes.

Amanda - posted on 11/16/2010




Well I never called my parents by their names. It was just something we didn't do. I still don't call them by their names unless I'm calling their work and asking to speak to them! I feel ackward calling them by their names!! I do inhome daycare and my daycare kids call me Manda, my almost 3 yr old will sometimes say Manda when talking to me, and I simply tell her, I'm mommy to you little lady, and she'll say, "Oh ya!" and giggle! I don't want to be called Amanda by my children! I want to be mommy!! :)

Jodi - posted on 11/16/2010




Well, my 21 month old occasionally calls me Jodi and her dad Jeremy (jeemeemee she pronounces it! lol), but it's only because we're trying to teach her our names in the event she ever gets lost and needs to tell someone, so I don't mind right now.
I used to call my mom by her first name, and I meant it with disrespect and that's how I would view it if my daughter(s) ever called me Jodi in the future instead of mom. (On a side note, my dad and I did not get along, and for two years of my horrible teenage years, I refused to call him anything except for Donor #427, as in sperm donor...I was disrespectful and have since apologized for that. Funny what growing up makes you realize!)

Isobel - posted on 11/16/2010




It's all about the tone of voice with which the name is used.

I have told my daughter to call me by name when we are at the playground because a hundred kids are yelling mom and I just stop hearing it.

Now...at home, when she is in trouble for something and my name pops out instead of mom...that's a different story.

Kate CP - posted on 11/16/2010




When in a crowded area and you're trying to get your parent's attention shouting "MOM!" is liable to get several people to look at you. In that case I do shout my mother's first name. But the rest of the time I think that calling your parent by their given first name is...I don't want to say disrespectful, but less loving. Saying Mom or Dad is a term of endearment and love. It would break my heart if my daughter called me by my first name. I'm Mommy to her.

Chrystal - posted on 11/16/2010




I think it is very disrespectful to call your parents by their first names. Your parents are mom and dad not their first name. If my daughter were to call me by my first name, I would put a stop to that real quick!

Bonnie - posted on 11/16/2010




I never called my parents by their first names with only one exception. There were a few times I could recall when I went shopping with my parents and to get their attention, rather than yelling mom or dad and have 100 other heads turn, I called them by their first name, but that was all. I expect my kids to call me mom . It's not even really a repsect thing for me, just that I am their mom so no reason to call me anything else.

Jenn - posted on 11/16/2010




I've never called my parents by the first name and never would. I expect my kids to call me Mum.

Desiree - posted on 11/16/2010




Where I come from the answer is you better be running if you try it. It is the height of rudness to anyone older than you by their first name unless asked to.

Living in South Africa, the Afrikaans refer to everyone older than them as Tannie or Omm(Aunt or Uncle) or ouma or oupa (granny and granddad) it a sign of respect.

English children call everyone Mr or Mrs and the African uses the african words for mother, father, granny and grandfather Ma, Baba, Gogo and Rakgolo. If you happen to be the same age its sister or brother only children or people younger than you are called by their first names. But then this is the way of Africa.

With 11 official languages it can get confusing.

Being of Portuguese decent we use the word Dona or Senhora when addressing an older married woman. An unmarried older (spinster )woman is addressed as Menina and an older gentleman is always addressed as Senhor. That is the way is Africa and in Portugal.

Heaven help me if I call my dad Antonio...Even at my age today of 36 I would get a tongue lashing in manners that is remincent of being 8 and geting into trouble. No thank you.

Krista - posted on 11/16/2010




I went through a phase as a toddler where I called my dad Marc, but it wasn't out of disrespect -- it was just one of those toddler things.

The only time I call either of my parents by their first name is if we're in a crowd, because calling "Mom" is pretty much useless at that point. I do, however, call my stepdad by his first name -- that's his own preference, and he even wants the grandkids to call him by his first name, as opposed to a titular grandfather name.

I wouldn't say that calling a parent by their first name is in and of itself disrespectful -- it depends on the wishes of the parents themselves and on the intent behind it.

Rachel - posted on 11/16/2010




My son on occasion calls me Rachel. Normally when i am trying to ignore him and he knows it gets my Attention. He calls his dad James when he is here amd his step dad, Dad. When he is at his dads it is the other way around. He only does it so we know who he is talking about. I always encourage him to call him step dad Stephane. But he gets up set and calls him dad. So i just let it be lol.
It does in a way bother me. I suppose that is because I have never called my mom or dad by their first names. It just feels weird. Even to write there names feels weird. Although it does make sense, i don't call him son so why should be have to call me mom, Never thought of it that way lol.

Stifler's - posted on 11/16/2010




I used to call my parents by their first names specifically to be disrespectful. I'd prefer that my own kids call me mum. There's no need to call me Emma.

C. - posted on 11/16/2010




Girl.. We were NEVER allowed to call our parents by their first names.. It just wasn't done in our family. I think for them it was a respect thing, and I feel the same way. Even when my son says 'Kisstina' to me, it makes me cringe (he's only 2, though). But when he does that, we make sure to tell him 'No, I'm (Mommy/Daddy)' or 'I'm your (Mommy/Daddy), so you call me (Mommy/Daddy)' (he calls hubby by his first name sometimes, too).

Honestly, though.. I do think it's very disrespectful to call your parent by their first name. Even now, I don't call my friends' parents by their first names unless there is a Mrs/Mr preceding their name.. So in my mind, if I don't do it to them out of respect, why do it to my own?

Charlie - posted on 11/16/2010




Doesn't bother me , Cooper very occasionally calls me Loureen , well that is my name *shrugs* for the majority of time i am mum , i honestly dont thik my mum would care she would probably laugh , i doubt she has ever heard us call her Kisa LOL.

[deleted account]

I must admit that on the occasions I have called my parents by their first name I was probably being a smart arse. But that's just part of my charm :)

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My theory. It's not like i go round calling her daughter so why should she have to call me Mummy/Mum?
I love that she does call me mum but thats just our relationship with each other not who we are. I am Shannen and i am her Mum.
I still don't call my parenst by their first names, it feels odd when i do. I have on occassions called them by their 1st names but only when trying to get their attention.

[deleted account]

Meh, I think I've called my mother by her first name a few times....probably Dad too. Its no big deal in my book. Same with if my daughter decided to call me Anika. As long as she treated me with love and respect, I could care less. I do tease my husband though that I'm going to teach our daughter to call him Michael....or worse, Mikey. LOL. I dont think he'd actually care though.

I did go to Teacher's College with a women who got her kids to call her by her first name. She was never Mum to them, always Sara.

Johnny - posted on 11/15/2010




Not for me or in my family. We don't and never have, but it wouldn't be a big deal if we did. Actually, come to think of it, my cousin did call his dad Charles, but then he wasn't raised by him, he was raised by my uncle, his step-dad, whom he calls Bob. But aside from that, we generally stick to good ol'fashioned mom & dad. If my daughter decided to call me Carol, I'd be disappointed, but I wouldn't feel disrespected by that in itself. If she treated me with respect and love otherwise, I'd get over it.

If I'd done it, my Dad would find it funny, and my Mom's feelings would have been hurt. But it wouldn't have been a big thing about respect.

Personally, I tend to think of respect as displaying sensitivity to others feelings, not doing harm, following the golden rule, kindness, etc. I'm not a big fan of the sort of hierarchical ideas of respect. "I am your master and you will do as I say" kind of thing. Not that it is necessarily like that in this case, I just feel that sort of vibe about these type of things.

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