Holiday Gift Dilemma

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

OK-now please help with this dilemma: My niece (husband's brother's kid) lives out of state and we always sent Xmas gifts through the mail. My BIL & SIL are now divorced, and it was my former SIL that took care of the gifts. Last year, we sent the niece's gift to my MIL's home, and it was received. My son never received a gift in return from his cousin. My husband & brother have never been on good terms. Do I still continue to send a present to my niece? We only see her once a year. I don't mind sending a little trinkety gift, but my husband says not to.

Dilemma #2- Each year, my MIL sends us a check to buy our son his Xmas gifts from her. Her rationale is to save on shipping costs, which is valid as opposed to shopping, wrapping, mailing packages. She won't shop on-line and send that way. What annoys us is that we lay out the money and then she sends us a reimbursement check. This year, I really would prefer she send us the check for Matthew's gifts in advance. Any way to politely ask for the money up front?


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Lindsay - posted on 11/17/2009




Well instead of retyping what these fine ladies have already said, I agree in both cases...=)

Sharon - posted on 11/17/2009




1. Yes send a trinkety gift. She will always think of you fondly/kindly and that is worth encouraging.

2. YEP. Tell the MIL - money is tight this year, could you please send a check for the amount you want to spend on Matthew?

Its awkward but honest.

Dana - posted on 11/17/2009




Dilemma #1 Yes, if they're divorced it's good to show her you still care about her. I'd talk to your son about it and explain, only if he notices it and is bothered by it.

Dilemma #2 Tell you can't afford to do it yourselves and wait for the reimbursement or tell your son that Grandma's money is coming later. He gets two Christmas's!

[deleted account]

1. I always buy for the kids in the family but my son doesn't always get anything in return (I even did this before he was born) but that's okay with me. For me Christams is about giving. I do have a limit of $10 per kid and I usually end up buying books since I don't know what to get for the older kids.

2. I echo Laura's reply, things are little tight for just about everyone this year

Isobel - posted on 11/17/2009




1. I would still send a trinkety gift. It's not the kids' fault their parents are dinks. Though, I don't think they would really notice if they were gone.

2. Tell her your broke. Let her know that it's not really an option this year (everybody is aware of the economy) and could she send it early.

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