homophobia/racism a thing of the past?

Nicole - posted on 01/01/2011 ( 52 moms have responded )

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So I posted a video from Hair, asking if anyone found it offensive. Here is a link to that post, http://www.circleofmoms.com/debating-mum...

I received some very encouraging response.

I wanted to ask one question, as it seems to have come up in the comments and I wanted to address it separately from the post.

I got the impression from some of the comments that homosexuality, mixed race couples was something our grandparents would have felt uncomfortable with, but our generation is beyond that simple mindedness.

I would like to believe that but I find it hard to believe.

Do you think homophobia/racism is a thing of the past?

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[deleted account]

No, it's not. It's still alive and well. I have pretty strong feelings about this topic, so I was hesitant to even open this thread. It's a complicated issue.

[deleted account]

I don't think so. I live in the southern US, in the buckle of the Bible Belt, and they're still pretty bad about homophobia and racism here. It depends on where the people of our generation are raised, and who raised them.

I do think the older generations are worse than this one about homosexuality/racism, and so I can understand how someone would get the impression that our generation is beyond that, but I don't think it's a thing of the past at all.

Mary - posted on 01/03/2011

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That movie w/the 2 little girls was Corrina, Corrina. It had Ray Liotta & Whoopie Goldberg. It's one of my faves.

Lindsay - posted on 01/02/2011

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I love Corrina Corrina. I watched it often as a kid! Too cute. I'm going to have to go find it and introduce it to my kiddos. :)

52 Comments

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Trish - posted on 01/04/2011

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It never will be completely. Human nature. And if not those, something else. The only way to stop either and others is on hand parenting and education. Support both.

[deleted account]

Liz I wasn't meaning to imply you meant it in a rude way, I was just asking because it's not a term I have heard before and the way you phrased made it seem like it could be offensive if used in a certain way, to a certain group of people - I thought I'd eductae myself a little more :-) . I completely understand things not being offensive when used by family or friends as I said my MIL calls me a Heinz 57 due to my many varieties of race that make me, me from her it isn't offensive but if a random person was to use it to describe me I would be offended. :-)

[deleted account]

Toni-I guess its just how you look at it. I use it as a nickname for my family but not to any Hispanic person I see. That rule applies to pretty much anyone, your friends and family can say something as a term of endearment but may be viewed as offensive if it comes from somebody you don't know.

Shauna - posted on 01/03/2011

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IMO--- wanting people to be legal is not racist. But what people define as being racist or homophobe is so sketchy. Everyone has there own opinions and so much fuss is made about if you are racist or not. I think its just gets way out of hand too many times.

Dana - posted on 01/03/2011

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Yeah, I live in a community where we have a lot of illegal immigrants so...

Shauna - posted on 01/03/2011

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This whole ordeal caused me to move out of the town i lived in, i coudlnt stand it anymore. Nobody got along. But now its becomming state wide. So i dont know whats going to happen. So much more crime has be a result of this.

Shauna - posted on 01/03/2011

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Dana- if you read my past post- i said i would post what im talking about .... i think the community you live in has to do with how much of this you see going on. and what your feelings are towards other races. B/c of this issue happening i see hate from hispanic community towards whites and also hate from whites towards hispanics.

Mother - posted on 01/03/2011

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I think it is alive and well....which is so sad. I have friends from all walks of life and I'm happy to say my daughter is the same. she never even noticed the difference in skin colour until she was much older. Their skin colour was no different then someone having different hair colour.



Her father, my ex, however is a HUGE racist and homophobe. He comments around her and it angers me. She made a few faces once about people being gay and I asked her why she said that. We had 3 couples that are gay and whom she loves. When she found out their orientation she said..........well, they are no different then we are. I said EXACTLY. I hope it sticks.

Shauna - posted on 01/03/2011

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yeah, at least around here *as this is a highly hispanic community* beaner is used towards a hispanic.-----my community has some major issues going on right now with the hispanic community. Alot of people see it as racisit i on the other hand do not. I have hispanic friends who have befriended me over this.... and have alot of hate comming from the hispanic side over this... telling the rest of the community that we need to watch our backs etc that they are going to bring "friends and fam" from mexico to "get rid of us white people" Another comment made to me was by a hispanic was " we produce like cockroaches and we are going to overtake this town you better watch your backs" -------illl post what im talking about when i find the articles. ----- and i really think the community your brought up in has alot to do on how your thinking is on other races.

And for the record i would never use a name that someone may find offensive unless i personally know that person and know they are ok with it. ---and see it as a joke.

[deleted account]

So I am right in thinking that beaner can be a derogatory term for a Mexican?

Shauna I realise that people can use derogatory phrases in a none derogatory way and they don't have to be offensive, if the person they are amed at is happy to be called it. I myself am called a Heinz 57 by my MIL as I have a very mixed heritage, I don't find it offensive because I know there is no maliciousness behind it, yet if a random person was to call me it I would be offended because they don't know me and how I would react to it. It is all relative to the situation.

I agree that simply telling someone regarless of their skin colour they are a douchebag is not racist, it only becomes racist if a description of their colour is inclded in the insult.

Minnie - posted on 01/03/2011

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Absolutely not. I have just learned, and my sister has just discovered for herself, that she is gay. We both fear our mother's reaction to this. She for some reason, cannot CONCEIVE of this possibility. I seriously fear for her health, although her reaction to my sister coming out will be her fault only. She will freak. Utterly freak. For her, this will be as bad as my sister dying.



Considering how she cried for days over my sister getting a lip piercing and asked me if I hated her when I got a tattoo at 19...



She just cannot accept that her children do not have to espouse every single 'moral' standard that she chooses to believe. It utterly galls her to the point of compromising her health when she learns that we do not believe the same as her on a particular subject. She would die a little inside, I think, if she knew I believed in evolution, while still espousing Christian ideals.



Fundamental Christianity is one sector where there is not much acceptance or tolerance.



And I hate describing my mother like this, because it makes her sound horrible. She is the sweetest, most generous person I know...until one of her own does something that rubs against the grain of her long-instilled fundamental values. Then she just crumbles.

Shauna - posted on 01/03/2011

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Toni- people use that word all the time were i live ... My friend the "hispanic" we call taco instead of his real name ... he could care less. My sister is married to a Vietnamese man, She always pokes fun of him and tells him to go back to his rice patties... buys him big asian hats to be funny... he doesnt care. And my brother in law the Vietnamese Man Hates Blacks... he wont go out in the sun in the summer b/c he doesnt want to appear black. My Black friend tells me "your the only white girl im friends with most you bitches are crazy" .... i think alot of people have judgments about everyone. And alot of people have names for certain people , alot people i know dont even care, i know i dont care if someone wants to call me a cracker .. which ive been called several times.... hahah good laughs. Also another hispanic friend of mine *born in america* married a hispanic women *born in mexico* he makes fun of her all the time and threatens to turn her in for not being a citizen and calls her a beaner all the time. Its not just race against race .. many people do it in their own race. Its just a fact of life. And where i live nobody really cares. ---------But flat out having hate for another race is another story. Hating someone you dont know just b/c they are different is wong. I think were the confusion comes in is if someone doesnt like another person and they happen to be gay or of aonther race ppl like to say "YOUR RACIST" and thats not the case. If your black, white, yellow, red, gay, or straight, if i dont like you your going to know it and ill pro call you some names. That doesnt make me racist or homophobe. Just as id call someone white trash if they really are! i call em like i see em. Me and my Black girlfriend had this same covo a few weeks back. She agreed its not being racist but some ppl in each race just suck! and they need to be told ... doesnt have anything to do with being racist or homophone and i wish some people can see the differance.

Shauna - posted on 01/03/2011

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Hardly a thing of the past. Alot of people i run into are proud to be racist or homophobe. It will never go away.

[deleted account]

Liz I may sound stupid now but should that be offensive to some people? I haven't heard that term used before.

Amanda - posted on 01/02/2011

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I don't think it's a thing of the past, but I think it is becoming more and more accepted by the newer generations. My son goes to school with lot of mixed races children, and he is very good friends with many of them. I think it's great that he is open-minded, and doesn't dislike them because of their color. And as far as homophobia goes, it's slowly becoming a thing of the past. Yes people are still going to be against it, but I don't think it's going to ever just not be a debate. But I do have to say I think it's diminishing slowly.

[deleted account]

Both are still very strong in todays society. Unfortunately I don't think either ever will because there will always be people who look at people who are different to them and can't accept them because of it. It really annoys me though because you should decide whether you like someone or not by their personality NOT their sexuality or what they look like!

Liz/ Loureen your posts reminded me of when my bridesmaids were trying on their dresses (I had my 3 nieces and my cousin). My cousin is mixed race and so her skin is black, my nieces all live in the country and so have very little contact with black people (and never get to speak to them) one of my nieces (who was 5 yo) on seeing my cousins arms begain wondering if 'it' went all the way up, 'it' being the skin colour - after we all stopped laughing (my cousin included who was 10 yo) we explained that my cousins skin was the same as hers just a different colour. The innocence of children is the best, it's a shame some people lose that acceptance!

Dana - posted on 01/02/2011

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I don't know that it's more "praised" in America to be mixed with Native American's more than it is black, I just think there's a strong cultural pride among Native Americans and they like to share that.

Janessa - posted on 01/02/2011

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I think both are still alive and well. The sad thing majority of everyone in the world is mixed anyways. In the united stated 1/3 white americans have african ancestry so majority of white americans are not white and whites also have native american ancestry. I always get confused when people always say america is a white majority country when it is not. I notice in america it is more praised to me mixed with native american then black? why is that? I know in canada i have many friends who say they are white but DNA says other but they are so ashamed of being mix with native blood sad but true.

Dana - posted on 01/02/2011

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I don't think it's a thing of the past, yet, nor will it ever be but, I won't stop fighting against it either.

Nicole - posted on 01/02/2011

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Fair enough.

That reminds me of a quote I read recently:
"“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Desiree - posted on 01/02/2011

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No its not, we would all love it be so but its not...Unfortunatly from time to time I slip myself and not just into racisim or Homophob but also into sexist and biggit. As long as there are 2 humans on the face of the earth we will newver live in an ideal world even if they are on the other side of the world from one another.

Tara - posted on 01/02/2011

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Even in my tiny little predominately white community, I do not see racism in any form, I do still see homophobia though.
But again this is mostly from people who are 50 +.
I think even though it might not be totally gone, most people know that it is inappropriate to have those view points, so if they have them, they don't share for the most part.
It's disappearing, hopefully to be a thing of the past... but not gone altogether. I think it depends largely on where you live, and how old you are.
:)
I don't know any racist/homophobes personally but I know they exist here. :)

Tracey - posted on 01/02/2011

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I wish anti disability comments were treated the same as homophobia / racism.

Nicole - posted on 01/02/2011

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That reminds me of a scene in a movie I saw, though I can't rmember what movie it was. Two little girls were sitting together and one asked, "do you taste like chocolate?"

"I don't know. Do you taste like vanilla?"

"I don't know"

Then they licked eachother.

It was cute and memorable.

Charlie - posted on 01/02/2011

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Liz I don't find what your daughter said offensive , she was curious and asked explaining the best way she knew how for a child her age she had no bad intent :)



I wanted to add that at my school where I was teaching the 5 year olds would sometimes ask me why I was darker than them and being the type of person to ask them what they thought the answer was I was amused to hear their answers , Yes some of them asked if I was burned , some asked if I was made of chocolate , some asked if it was because I drank coffee ( to which others argued that their daddy's drank coffee so it couldn't have been the answer ) I love the innnocence of children although they were pretty bored with the answer that people come in all shades of colour , I think they REALLY wanted me to be chocolate , interestingly enough when I first met my partner who is caucasian I was with two other friends who are blonde and a red headed girl , he called us the neopolitan but told me he preferred chocolate haha .

[deleted account]

Definitely not! I think it's more accepted in some areas more then other though. Where I live there are a lot of racist people and even more homophobes. My daughter was shocked when she saw a black person for the first time at 3, she said "mommy is her skin burnt". I felt so horrible but the lady actually laughed and didn't seem offended. And most gay men here keep it to themselves, but women aren't as timid probably because it is more socially accepted.

Lacye - posted on 01/01/2011

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Nope. It is very much a thing that people have to deal with in today's age. In a lot of ways, there will always be racism and homophobia.

Nicole - posted on 01/01/2011

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Fair enough. It is a very complicated and deeply emotional topic. Thank you for your input.

Rosie - posted on 01/01/2011

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westboro baptist church said they were going to protest a production of the laramie project here. yeah, that's right protest the fucking laramie project. homophobia is still around. thank god less people are fucking whack jobs now a days.

Sharon - posted on 01/01/2011

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Thanks - but I work hard on recognising the things we have in common, rather than focusing on what keeps us apart (for me personally).

Nicole - posted on 01/01/2011

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I went to a production of the Laramie project. I was there with some close friends and none of us had dry eyes.

Thank you for all of your responses. You make some really good points.

We've come a long way, but we still have a long way to go.

There's a movie coming out called Mooz-lum
http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=152693751444659
I think it will be something worth checking out

Jaime - posted on 01/01/2011

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Ten years ago my dad would never have accepted a gay man and respect his right to love another man. Today he is a completely different person. My youngest sister has a gay best friend and he has become a huge part of our family. I'm not certain what changed my dad's mind about homosexuality, and perhaps it was just him knowing that one of his kids could love and accept a homosexual. Regardless, I do think we are slowly breaking down the barriers, but we're not there yet. Older generations still recognize their outdated social dynamics and I think it's more so a matter of the clashing dynamics of the 21st century. We are far more laid back about sexuality than 50 years ago...but we've a ways to go yet!

Rosie - posted on 01/01/2011

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of course it's not a thing of the past, however it is getting increasingly better.

interestingly enough when we had our last election in november we had a big push to oust 3 judges that upheld gay marriage in my state of iowa. they got ousted. a breakdown of the voting showed that people in the cities of des moines, cedar rapids, iowa city, all voted liberally, and to keep the judges while those out in the boonies or small towns voted conservatively and to oust the judges. it seems those out in the sticks are less willing to open their minds.

as for racism, well i don't think that will go away as much as homophobia. where i live it's pretty common for there to be mixed race couples and children so hopefully it will start to be seen as more and more common by others.

Lindsay - posted on 01/01/2011

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There's definately still a lot of it in this world. I do think it is becoming more accepted with each generation but we are still a very long way from it being a thing of the past. Hopefully with education and more people showing tolerence, with each generation it will become less and less.

Charlie - posted on 01/01/2011

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I don't think it is a thing of the past it certainly still affects the community but I do think it is becoming far more accepted that a human is a human reguardless of race or sexual prefrence .

Sara - posted on 01/01/2011

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I would say it's not. If it were, then people like Mathew Shepard wouldn't have been beaten to death and gay teens wouldn't be committing suicide in such staggering numbers.

Krista - posted on 01/01/2011

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Jaime makes a good point. There are still huge cultural variances, depending on where one lives.

Honestly, I think that we have a better chance of seeing the end of homophobia before we'll see the end of racism. One only has to look at some of the animosity that's been directed to people of Middle Eastern descent since the WTC attacks. Unfortunately, there will likely always be events that play up peoples' fears of other nationalities.

It's a bit harder to demonize gay people in circumstances like that, unless we see the formation of a gay terrorist group, and I'm guessing that's probably not very likely.

Krista - posted on 01/01/2011

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I wish it was, but it's not.

I do think it's getting better, though. Blatant homophobia and racism are no longer seen as socially acceptable, for the most part. Mind you, the subtle stuff is still there, and is much harder to combat.

So no, it's not a thing of the past...yet. Maybe someday. I'm encouraged by today's youth. They seem to be very open-minded and matter-of-fact about diversity issues.

Sharon - posted on 01/01/2011

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of course not. Look at that asshole protesting funerals - saying death in the war is the punishment of god because america supports gays.

But we are working on it.

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