How little boys and girls are different

Merry - posted on 02/12/2011 ( 17 moms have responded )




I am seeing, in the coddling debate a pattern of little boys wanting mommy to help them alot, and little girls wanting to be independent.
Is this a fairly normal pattern?
Do your boys want more snuggled, and more help, and to be babied more then your girls?
I only have a son, with a daughter on the way so I couldn't compare yet.
But Eric is very much a Mommys boy, he likes me helping him alot, he is intensely snuggly and sometimes emotionally needy.
Of course he has his 'me do' moments, but I'm thinking far less then it seems some of the little girls here are doing.

How do boys and girls differ in the aspect of their interactions with mom, specifically in the independence or lack there of


Krista - posted on 02/12/2011




I think no matter what the gender, they go through phases. My son is normally very independent and not at all snuggly. But now, with a chest cold and three molars coming in, it's like I have my very own barnacle -- he's become super-clingy and doesn't even sleep well at night unless I or my husband are lying on the floor next to his crib (ask me how my hips feel today...). I don't doubt that once he's well, he'll be back to his independent self.

Krissy - posted on 02/12/2011




yup... I have three of my own... 9, 6, 3 (middle one is the boy)... and I babysit four others... 10b, 7b, 6g, and 3b...

I've had other kids in the past I've babysat, too... all different ages.... from 3 months up to about 11 years.

I have seen a very distinct pattern that the girls are cuddly and want to know they are loved... some so far as NEEDING to be told she's a princess all the time (only child, LOL!)... but even the more coddled girls at home show more strive to "do it myself" than the boys.

All the boys I've had come to me expecting me to "mommy" them... tie their shoes (when they can), even pull up their pants up to three and four years old.... LOL, I hate to say it, but the ones I've had, the boys have been whinier, too...

Oh, and regarding interactions with mom... I adore all three of my kids, but my boy... he is the one that pushes for lots of love and GIVES lots of love. He is simply wonderful with his baby sister!

The other kids I've watched were similar, the older girls were actually kind of critical of their moms sometimes (even when they had good relationships), whereas the boys thought their moms hung the moon.


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Amy - posted on 02/12/2011




only real difference in my kids is my son comes with WAY more sound effects than my daughter! Little lady was just as much as a momma's gal as son is a momma's boy. But, he's really independent. I've been typing on here as he's playing peacefully with playdough for half an hour. Does'nt really NEED me for much beyond changing his pants, getting him dressed and making him food [he's 2]. He even gets his water cup and fills it up himself at the fridge when he's thirsty. Daughter was the same way.

only really momma's boy difference I had was that he cried a couple times when we left him at the neighbor's, but then they got puppies and he could care less if we leave him there. He loves dogs. daughter was always adventurous like..oh, a new place! bye mom! love ya.

Charlie - posted on 02/12/2011




It is said boys have stronger attachments to their mothers than girls which is why they experience higher levels of anxiety when separated before they are ready unlike girls who are more independent earlier the difference as they age is in how you nurture their ability to be confidant .

Merry - posted on 02/12/2011




Krista, that barnacle comment made me laugh so hard!
That's how Eric was when he had a stomach virus, for 5 days! Teamed up with my 5 months pregnancy at the time it was awful.
And I know how your hips feel!
My husband has been snoring alot and when I wake in the middle of the night I can't get back to sleep with him snoring so I have ended up sleeping on erics floor almost every morning for 3-5 hours!
And I'm now 6 months pregnant so my hips are not too pleased. Matt says I should kick him out of bed and make him move to the living room, but if I do that I don't get my time on the computer in the morning before matt wakes up! He uses it for school so my only time alone with it is in the morning. So I sleep on the floor.
Wow I think I'm addicted to com:)

[deleted account]

My little guy is very snuggly and wants his mom to help him all the time (I'm one of the coddlers from the afore mentioned debate). While I want him to be more independant and am slowly steering him in that direction, I still really like having a cuddly little guy who needs mommy because in a few short years he's going to be busy with friends, sports, and other things and he won't have time for Mommy.

Sharon - posted on 02/12/2011




Not the norm here at all. My oldest boy was so independent - it was shocking. And depressing. He still is. I've always just let him be. When he wants he comes to me. He's not obvious like my younger boy who will/would simply just get in your lap.

My daughter is a cuddle bug. She LOVES to snuggle. She is FIERCLY independent in everything she does, but she is a big time cuddle bug.

Jenni - posted on 02/12/2011




Not sure this is the same for everyone's boys and girls. I find my SD is very eager to please others while my son is more eager to please himself. Teehee. I think the same goes for adult women and men imo.

Marylea - posted on 02/12/2011




Perhaps it appears that boys are more needy then girls because girls develope faster. They often potty train faster, talk sooner things like that. I know that can't be said for all children but generally girls mature faster than boys so maybe that's why girls seem to be independant sooner than boys. I think for the most part it depends on the child and your parenting methods. Some people do EVERYTHING for their kids never allowing them to be independant (like my MIL) others give their children too much responsiblity and therefore force them to grow up too fast. I only have one little girl and she likes her cuddles and mommy time but she definitely likes to be independant. She's very hands on and likes to figure things out on her own.


Bonnie - posted on 02/12/2011




I think boys always like to spend more time with their mommies, especially when they are younger. Girls usually seem to be a mix, from what I have seen; some like to spend more time with their mother and some more with their father, depending on the circumstance or what they may be going through at that time.

Celeste - posted on 02/12/2011




4 year old twin boys and an 8 year old daughter. I think in some ways, my daughter was more independent at the boys' age. The boys want me to pull up their pants, take off their shoes, etc etc (no, I have them do it themselves, they just ASK). One of my boys is a little more independent but I think still, my daughter was still more independent at that age. One of my boys is definitely a momma's boy.

My daughter is pretty independent, like I mentioned before. She's 8 now and gets herself ready for school, and is pretty self sufficient (which is nice!).

Tara - posted on 02/12/2011




I have 3 of each. I have noticed no real difference in those types of behaviours or needs. All my kids had different personalities and different needs. I parented them all in a similar fashion but did notice when I needed to adjust certain things for certain character traits within my kids.
But as for being snuggly, needy versus independent etc. I don't think it has a lot to do with gender and more to do with personality and character traits of each child.

Minnie - posted on 02/12/2011




Hmmmm...I think both of my girls are a mish mash. My first is not very cuddly/touchy-feely. I don't know if it's her personality, her age, or a result of how she was parented as a baby. But she does want help with things a lot, even if she can do it herself just fine.

My second is extremely cuddly, but totally independent regarding accomplishing a task.

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