How old?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/17/2011 ( 46 moms have responded )

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How old do you think kids need to be to have their own facebook, or myspace account? Do you think there should be age restrictions?

I feel these sites should be reserved for 18+

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Isobel - posted on 02/17/2011

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My daughter has already been approached by a stranger on a children's game site that included the ability to chat with "other children playing the game". It took all of 2 days of her being a member to have somebody ask her where she lived, how old she was and what school she went to.

I was really proud that she came to me immediately and told me what had happened and she was really scared (because I have explained to her what kind of bad people are on-line pretending to be children) and she immediately deleted her account and agreed that she never wants to be on ANY site that has a chat until she's a grown up.

My rule personally, she'll have a page when I am confident that she understands how the site works...or until she's smart enough to get one behind my back.

Me thinks the latter is more likely ;P

Amie - posted on 02/17/2011

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See, this is where for some it makes no sense in regards to our family.



Our oldest (10 years) has her own computer, in her room. It is locked, she can't get on it without us allowing her on it. The parental controls are on, so she can't get on any site that is not approved of by us. She also has MSN messenger but again, we are the only ones with the password for it. She has family on it and one friend but she rarely goes on it. She calls her friends and family, she goes to their houses and they come here.



There is no need for her to have a FB to keep in touch with her friends, she does so just fine without it. She does play games online but she's not a part of any childrens network either. She has no profile at all anywhere, there are plenty of kids gaming sites she can play without making one.



I do know she's mature enough to handle one. It's not her I'm worried about. It's not even pervs. It's the other little jerk offs that are her age.



The crap that has already gone on with her. One of the other girls in her class writing a note about "sucking dick" and signing my daughter's name to it. (if it hadn't been a hand written note, there would have been no way to prove that it wasn't her.) The one girl in class, who logged onto the other girls and spammed all the boys saying how much she liked them and a bunch of inappropriate things.



I really think a lot of parents have no clue (at least around here). I really do.

Jenny - posted on 02/17/2011

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That's what I do too Kati, my daughter doesn't get any passwords and we only have 1 computer which stays in a public area. No computers in bedrooms for my kids.

Jenny - posted on 02/17/2011

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I'll see how I feel when I have teens but I'm leaning towards 16. I plan on being very strict with social networks and hopefully avoiding anything that could cause them greif as adults. I am SO thankful Facebook wasn't around when I was in high school.

46 Comments

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Cori - posted on 04/02/2011

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I wish I could say 18+ but to sound cliche it is somewhat up to the kid. My son is still 9 so I have a little time yet, but I have put a lot of thought into this. One of the things I was thinking of was setting up a joint account that we both had access to and invite a mixture of family and mutual friends. My idealist goal (who knows what reality will be) is that we can set mutual expectations and he can learn that I am note the enemy. We already do share some stuff talking to people all over the world on Skype. So fingers crossed.

[deleted account]

I am uncomfortable with the whole thing. My 9 year old cousin has an account to play games and my aunt saw that an adult was IM'ing her, supposedly about the Farmville game and they share things, but asked here where she lives and she told him/her. A 9 year old child is too naive to be ok in a place like that. Even if they know to not talk to strangers, not give info, etc., they might very well rationalize as 'well it's my friend bc we play the game together' or 'it's a girl not an old man' or whatever. Kids are trusting and predators are smart.
And I agree with whoever said there are plenty of other games on the net to play without going on a site like facebook for it. Hows about playhouse disney or nick jr? Those are great sites for kids and theres no one Im'ing.

If I ever did let my kids have a fb page when they're older it would be a very limited and I would have full access to it. I would have to know everyone on their friends list and know exactly what they're doing and strictly limit the amount of time they're on there and keep a watchful eye when they are.

Jodi - posted on 02/18/2011

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My 13 year old has a FB page. I am a friend, I am the only one with his password, and I check up on him (and he knows it). I don't see it as an issues. The computer the kids use is in the main living area where I can supervise.

I am of the opinion that it is about parental supervision, NOT the medium.

Stifler's - posted on 02/18/2011

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I doubt my kids will ever get a computer in their room. Anything they do on the computer can be done in a public space. I don't believe in having the password to my kid's account.

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Jamie-Leigh:
I can actually understand seeing children on FB would drive you nuts. It drives me nuts too. However, thankfully there are more responsible parents out there. I promise you will never see my kids on FB because everything is private and no one can view anything on my girls. (plus their actual names aren't used. It is just a pet name family uses when talking about all three of my girls.)

April - posted on 02/18/2011

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I'd like to discourage my children from social networks for life. I should delete my facebook and com account too, to set an example. I just love you guys so much...I've learned so much on here. It's hard to give it up...I love connecting with others. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the many times I wish I knew most of you in person! I don't have a set age picked out at the moment. Just not younger than 16.

Amie - posted on 02/18/2011

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Oh right, I forgot about the Xbox, PS3, etc. We have those, they are my husband's toys. They're not kids toys. They have games for kids but they are not made and marketed for small children. There are game systems that are though, we have a Vtech one (forget which one) for our little ones. Our oldest two do play games WITH my husband on the PS3 and Xbox sometimes but it's rare.

I don't often play, there are a couple role playing games I like (like Oblivion) but don't have that much time to play. (well it's either the game or here and I prefer here most times LOL) They are my husband's toys though and the kids know that.

Nikkole - posted on 02/18/2011

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My kids are still babies 3yrs and 7months lol so no Facebook for a while! I think ill let my kids have a Facebook around 15 (if its still around lol) but i will monitor EVERYTHING on that site! I think i will let my kids have a computer in there rooms when they are 15-16 depending on maturity!!! And someone stated earlier about kids being on Xbox and ps3 my husband play on our ps3 online and there are SOOO many little kids on cursing and just acting ignorant (where are there parents?)!

Amie - posted on 02/18/2011

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It takes a lot more than where a computer is situated or what's allowed with it to be a helicopter parent.

Isobel - posted on 02/18/2011

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I don't know that keeping computers in the family space is helicopter parenting. I just think that the world outside is a whole lot safer than the internet.

Amie - posted on 02/18/2011

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Oh when I say clean room - I mean put your fricking laundry in the hamper and put your toys away. (I do the vacuuming.) It's not that hard but he still insists on shoving his dirty clothes under the bed. /:)

Amie - posted on 02/18/2011

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LOL It's really hard not to be one.



It's also why her computer is so locked up though. She doesn't seem to mind it, she understand why we're so strict with her. She's even lost her computer privileges for disobeying before and had to earn it back. I don't remember what it was she did now but it took her 3-4 weeks to get it back.



Our son is learning this lesson with his t.v. right now. He has one in his room. The stipulation being he keep his room clean. Well he hasn't been doing that, so it's gone until he can do so. It's been 3 weeks so far - he's getting there. Since he's 6 I expect it to take longer with him though.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/18/2011

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I don't want to be a copter parent...think I already am LOL.

Amie - posted on 02/18/2011

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I understand that, it's why it's hard for some people to understand. -- Like my parents. They are (and always have been) heavy 'copter parents. Probably why us girls (myself and sister) rebelled so hard. Our brothers never did, it must have worked for them somehow.

I have 3 girls, so we allow them their privacy but within guidelines and if they ever break it they know it will take a lot to earn it back.

We also didn't buy her the computer, she got it when she was 8 from her Aunt and Uncle ( my husband's sister & husband). For the first year it was kept out here but last year we moved it into her room.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/18/2011

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I see waht you are saying Amy,...whatever works for your household...I just feel for my parenting style it would be to much privacy.

Amie - posted on 02/18/2011

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So when she is on it, her siblings aren't bothering her. Especially for school work.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/18/2011

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Amy, what is the point of your child having a cpmputer behind locked doors if they have no access? Just bring it out into the family space. IMO no child that age should have a comp in the room. What is the point?

Bonnie - posted on 02/18/2011

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It's difficult to give an answer right now as my kids are too young, but I think 13 years old would probably be okay as long as we have access to their account and know when they are on it, etc., if not then forget it. Of course a lot of things will change within the next 8-10 years though.

Ez - posted on 02/17/2011

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The Internet and kids are a BAD combination IMO. There will be no computers in bedrooms here either, and I can't see myself allowing any facebook etc until 15 or 16. MSN or YIM? Same deal.

Jaime - posted on 02/17/2011

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One of my pet peeves is seeing toddlers and kids with facebook pages. I can understand that there are some mature 10+ year olds, but younger than 10 not a good idea. I am okay with 14, would like it to be 16...but definitely not younger than 10!

Sarah - posted on 02/17/2011

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i dont think any age is too young for a child to have a facebook account, providing what they post and who they talk to and are friends with is properly monitored and supervised :) And as long as the amount of time they spend on the computer is limited too, like maybe half an hour every second day for young kids :)

Melissa - posted on 02/17/2011

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considering the amount of bullying nastiness etc I can understand why people would think 18+. I think maybe 15+

Medic - posted on 02/17/2011

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My now four year old got his own desktop for his second birthday and he uses it for skype with our family and to play his computer games. For the moment he is happy with that. His computer sits next to mine in the livingroom and he can only get on it when either myself unlocks it.

[deleted account]

They are reserved for 18+. However it is rather easy to get around that. As for age wise. IDK. My 3 youngest have their own. We supervise their usage and only family is allowed to see anything or post anything. IF family get out of hand or can't remember that the younger ones are online too then we delete them from the girls friends list.

Sharon - posted on 02/17/2011

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I just allowed my 15 yr old to have an FB page. No issues so far other than he listed me as his son.

He doesn't play games much, although he does farmville for me so he can approve and send me stuff, lol.

I have full access to his account.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/17/2011

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See, kids are smart...I am sure my kids will know how to work a computer better than myself in no time...that is part of my fear. Kids know how to hide what they don't want parents to see....I don't think I want to hand them access like that with giving them an account on facebook to young.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/17/2011

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Amanda and Laura, thank you for the info for the kids games. My son is 4 1/2 so he does not go onto interactive games...now he never will!

I also will never have a computer in a bedroom. If my husband has an office with our next house, we will lock the whole thing. Our lap tops is our family computer, and I intend to keep it that way. I do fully intend to educate my son on the dangers with online predators, but I don't think we need to worry quite yet. Maybe when he hits grade school and starts doing research online.

Charlie - posted on 02/17/2011

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My ten year old cousin has a FB account , she uses it to play games and chat with her school friends and family .

I have access to it , her parents have access to it and so far she is incredibly responsible and only uses a computer in high traffic areas .

She knows full well the dangers of the internet is aware of strangers and people she doesn't know , she uses it as a fully informed kid who just really wants to grow crops on farmville .

Stifler's - posted on 02/17/2011

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i don't even remember asking my parents if i could make an account on anything, just doing it. i was obsessed with Quizilla for ages. my parents are still like "ooh what is this facebook thing" and my mum has an account just so she can make see pics of my kid because I live away hahaha.

Rosie - posted on 02/17/2011

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yeah no computers in rooms in my house either. we have a laptop for our enjoyment and the boys can play on the desktop in the livingroom. :)i'm thankful grant hasn't asked for an account yet, lol! although he has asked for a phone. i laughed at him, lol! i was like not until you can pay for the phone!! although i do think it would be nice to be able to get ahold of him when he's running around the block. it always seems to be that he's always walking the opposite way that i am, and we always just miss each other. very frustrating when it's dinner time! :)

Amanda - posted on 02/17/2011

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Marina those online game sites for children are FULL of pervs, at least with facebook you can control who sees your childs account, who they add to their account, and you can delete anyone you dont want having access to them. Those online game sites, there is no real securty, in 5 minutes I can make an account and start chating up children. I would NEVER allow my children on club penguin or any other site like that.



Im wondering how many mothers who wouldnt allow their children on facebook, allow their children on things like xbox live, or PS3, MSN, Yahoo...

Rosie - posted on 02/17/2011

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i'm not sure yet. probably when they're 14 ish. however i will have the password, and will monitor everything that goes on with it.

Stifler's - posted on 02/17/2011

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I agree do kids really even need to go on the internet? I survived without it until I was about 14. We had to learn to use search engines and research at school but not to have leisure time.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/17/2011

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I am uncomfortable with a child that age having access to a social network like that...first off, predators...even with parental control...then the things that they may be exposed to. There are plenty of kids games online instead of having them playing a game on facebook...no need IMO. There is also cyber bullying...you may not see everything that is going on from a kids friends page.

Amanda - posted on 02/17/2011

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My 12 year old (soon to be 13) has an account and so does my 11 year old. My 12 year old uses facebook to stay in contact with her friends and posts pictures. I have full access to both accounts, anything I disapprove of gets removed. My 11 year old uses facebook to play games, he has no need to update his status or add friends lol.

Stifler's - posted on 02/17/2011

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There is age restrictions to 13 and over. Hasn't stopped my 9 year old brother from having an account to play Farmville. I don't see the big deal. It's a social networking site, not a dating site. As long as you know to not meet up with anyone you don't know in real life... which by the way a lot of people over 18 have done and sent money to random people who scam them.

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Facebook says 13. I'm not sure what I think about it yet since the girls are only 9. NOT before 13, but after that I'll have to see. Myspace? How about never. ;)

Joanna - posted on 02/17/2011

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It depends on the Childs maturity. Even then I think under 13 they should be limited to the Childrens sites (like club penguin or whatever it's called).

Amie - posted on 02/17/2011

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Facebook has theirs set for 13 but I find that even too young. =/ Our 10 year old has asked for one but we have not allowed her. We won't be for some time. There's really no point, even when we move to our acreage next week.

We have a phone, she can call her friends, like I did. They can arrange sleep overs and days to play on the phone, just like I did. I have never heard a good enough reason for any of my children to be allowed on a social networking site.

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