how to deal with ex husband and his new wife

Amal - posted on 01/23/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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i need some advice on how to deal with ex husband and his new wife, her son and their baby on the way.....and my 4 kids with my ex? please help

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/24/2013

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Without any info, my advice would be to GET ALONG with each other. No petty bickering, no bitchy back and forth crap.

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Kristin - posted on 01/26/2013

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What is going on? Is it just general awkwardness or angry words and lashing out?

All you can really do is be supportive of your kids, have their back. Keep telling them that what they feel is what they feel. Perhaps counseling is in order? It can help them adjust by airing their feeling in a private with someone who will not judge. It can also help to get the perspective from someone outside the family on how they are doing or if they are in real trouble. It is always better to get someone help before they are out of control. On your end, no trash talk or even negative talk about your ex or his new wife or the other children in front of them or when they might overhear. Ever. I can guarantee this will be challenging far more often than you will care to acknowledge. If you do slip up, apologize to them, and simply say that you are angry with whomever you should not have said that.

Perhaps getting the adults together to lay some ground rules would help. It will help to have your thoughts aired as well as theirs. You will want to know what the rules in their home are so you know if you really need to intervene on your child's behalf or if they are blowing something out of proportion. Nor should your children be treated as second class citizens in the new family dynamic in their home.

Keep the lines of communication open and you will teach your kids how to have healthy relationships and to navigate the transition or end of relationships. I know it is hard and will be hard, but hold strong. You can do it.

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