"I have a lesbian friend who has been married for many years...."

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 05/30/2011 ( 52 moms have responded )

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****The OP of this thread is Anonymous****

"I have a lesbian friend who has been married for many years. They decided they wanted to have children. They used a sperm donor. A couple years later they decided they wanted another one. They used the same sperm donor and my friend had another baby. They are both girls with same mother and father (sperm donor). I was wondering what your opinion was on this."

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Sneaky - posted on 05/30/2011

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Not that I only comment on controversial topics, it's just that my first response was 'so what?' a loving couple have two beautiful children. The fact that they are lesbians doesn't make one bit of difference to me. I suppose if you wanted to press me for an opinion it would be: I see no problem with it.

JuLeah - posted on 05/30/2011

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Do you indroduce this woman as "my lesbian friend"?



Point of interest, the children do not have a father, they have a donor. A father tucks you in at night, teaches you to ride a bike, comes to your school plays, stays up with you all night when you are ill.



Donor's don't do any of that.



Many children on this planet have the similar genetic meterial - egg from same woman, sperm from same man. What is so odd about that? They are siblings after all.



I have friends what used the same donor, but each carried a baby. I have friends that use different donors.



We used a known donor.



There are many many ways to make a baby :) It doesn't always happen in the back of a Chevy

[deleted account]

I have no issues with the couple having kids. Quite the opposite actually. What I do take issue with are the small minded jerk wads who would do the to a kid. Not attend a birthday party for a little girl just because she. Has 2 mummies? Idiots. What is sad is those idiots will possibly breed more idiots.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 05/30/2011

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Lol Shannon its not anonymous any more ;-)

52 Comments

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Christina - posted on 06/01/2011

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Don't blame them for having them naturally. It's hard for gay couples to adopt.

Tiffany - posted on 05/31/2011

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I think it's wonderful! All that matters is that they love each other, are happy and are good parents to their children.

Shannintipton - posted on 05/31/2011

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Oh really, how did the movie go? What was the movie about?
Just wondering.

Michele - posted on 05/31/2011

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I'm sorry to hear they broke up. It's sad when a family breaks up and I hope they can work out co-parenting for the future.

JuLeah - posted on 05/31/2011

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@ Shannin .... I know a woman who has the job of assessing older folks to determing if they can continue to live alone.

Part of her job involves interviews with the family.

She is always amazed at what folks will tell her and for years has been learning 'truths' about families and family members don't all know.

Most truths are about the 'real father' and not the fellow who raised the child.

The uncle, the neighbor, the milkman, the husbands best friend ..... there are so many half sibs out there that don't even know :) Oprah just met hers .... So, at least these kids know and won't make babies of their own.

Shannintipton - posted on 05/31/2011

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Plus they have met a lot of half brothers and sisters. (I honestly don't know how many a lot is. I am just going by what she told me)

Krista - posted on 05/31/2011

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I think it's great. Good for them! And Shannin, don't be scared of us. :) Yeah, the fur flies a bit in here sometimes, but when the crunch comes down, if ANYBODY in here needs support or advice, we're right there.

Tara - posted on 05/31/2011

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Great, good for them, wonderful. I know a straight couple who were married for many years, they couldn't conceive they used a donor, they have three kids all with the same mom and sperm donor."
To me the above tidbit and the OP are exactly the same. And my reaction would be exactly the same: Congratulations on your family!!

Kristi - posted on 05/30/2011

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Hurray for another happy family! I think it's also nice they were able to use the same sperm donor so the kids have the same bio dad for the continuity, shared genes, health history, etc. My kids go to school in Seattle where there are many same-sex couples. Most of those parents share many of the same challenges as heterosexual couples, and there are both good parents among them and not so good parents among them. I do think it's important for same-sex couples to make sure that their children have adequate exposure to adults of both sexes though. Boys need to meet men and girls need to meet women. I think we have probably run across most of the possible combinations of parents and kids in terms of gender. Those parents do express some anxiety about this need to make sure their kids are exposed to all kinds of people. That seems healthy to me. P.S. Well, I just saw Shannin's post that they aren't together anymore, and that's too bad, but everything else still applies, I guess.

Shannintipton - posted on 05/30/2011

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Also I should tell you that they did split up about two months ago. I am guessing she has her daughters with her because she gave birth to them. I have talked to her once. She just wanted me to know she was moving and that she would call me when she could. I am still waiting.

Shannintipton - posted on 05/30/2011

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Hi Everyone,
I am getting the impression that you all think this post is about me. Not that it should matter, but it is not about me. I was in her wedding and so was my husband. She didn't tell Mark he was going to be in the wedding until the last minute because she didn't want to give him an excuse not to. LOL. If I was gay I am happy that I would have everyone's support. I did it anonymously because ladies. . . you scare the living shit out of me. lol It can get bitchy in here from time to time and my skin is still pretty thin. But I am working on it. LOL Thank you all for listening.

Mrs. - posted on 05/30/2011

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Hey, if it makes a difference, it happens with straight couples too. I had a "friends only" baby shower after my fiance's family threw me one. One of my best friends invited my "friends" thinking everyone would have no problem. Whelp, because my fiance and I got pregnant while he was officially still separated (the divorce was drawn out by a bitter ex) from his ex who had spread all kinds of awful rumours about us, hardly anyone showed up.

A similar thing happened at her first birthday. I just made sure from there out to never invite these "friends" to any event involving my daughter.

People can be judgemental pricks when they don't understand a situation. Who gives a flying fuck really? They are the ones who have to live with being small minded asshats.

Sneaky - posted on 05/30/2011

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Shannin, I am really sorry that your friends daughter was hurt by no one coming to her party:o(

We all know that there are lots of small minded people that will feel strongly about same sex parents, but I doubt you will find any of them here.

JuLeah - posted on 05/30/2011

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@ Shannin ... my daughter has so many friends, we have to limit the number at parties. All my friends' with kids are in the same boat. I have never, not once, found this to be an issue with my daughter's friends, or their parents.

In fact, we did have a funny situation come up in my daughter's class. (kindergarten) A kid asked about a teacher and the title of Ms. She thought that meant, 'not married' and was told that is what it means. She said, "But I don't understand, she has a son."

The teacher in charge said, "She was married, but is not any more.

There were parents' upset by this. They complained to me. They spoke of sheilding their children from such things - divorce - and asked my opinion on what they should say to their little ones.

I was still married at the time, good thing I guess, and my then wife and I had a good laugh over this.

All the kids knew I was married to a woman, most had been to our house for play dates with my daughter .... I wonder what those familes would say not that I am divorced :)



I knew a man years back who finally came out to his folks. Much to his suprise, his folks were okay with it. In fact, they were just waiting for him to tell them. He was dating someone and wanted to bring the fellow over. His mom made dinner. His family is white, his boyfriend was black, and his parents said they would disown him that day if he didn't stop seeing the man. "No son of mine is going to date a Black man" His father screamed from the porch.



So, I guess my point is, you just never know what someone is going to hate, and it doesn't often really have anything to do with you or the situation.

Jane - posted on 05/30/2011

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How nice for them to have a family since they want one. My opinion is that it is always wonderful when people who long for children are able to have some. It is also nice that the girls, who will be raised as sisters, are biologically sisters as well.

I wish them well.

Bernie - posted on 05/30/2011

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I think it's a beautiful thing that there are men out there like my donor who help other couples(being gay/hetro)/single women to have a chance at having a family. IMO I don't think donations should be annonymus (sp?). In my country they are trying to make it so that couples can use both sperm and egg donors.

Kate CP - posted on 05/30/2011

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If they're happy they're happy. Two wanted, loved, and cared for children. Good on 'em.

Lady Heather - posted on 05/30/2011

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Ummm...good for them? Haha. My old babysitter was pretty much the best person ever and she was a lesbian. When everyone found out (this was in early 90s) it was all "oh what a shame, now she'll never have kids". Well she and her wife had one this year with the help of a sperm donor. If that kind of technology allows people like her to be parents, then rock on.

Shannintipton - posted on 05/30/2011

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Thank you everyone for putting up with me. I am trying so hard to get the hang of the community. And thank you M.I.L.F. for all your help.

Shannintipton - posted on 05/30/2011

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Sorry Marina,
I think we are pretty much done. You didn't miss much. Just me making an ASS out of myself. LOL

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/30/2011

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Ok, I just read through the whole thread,...what am I missing? I missed something....which way did he go...which way did he go George??

No for really, who are we talking about? I am so lost, not even a map will help.

Shannintipton - posted on 05/30/2011

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They even had or have a gathering for all of his donors so they can meet. He is no longer donating as it were. It was weird because in a way they were all related.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/30/2011

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That is pretty fucking awesome IMO. That means the girls are full sisters. That is too cool!

Charlie - posted on 05/30/2011

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Haha I knew because you mentioned this in another thread and because you were commenting on the couple and the daughter through the thread LOL .

Anyway like I said they obviously put a lot of thought , money and love into having this daughter ...she is a lucky girl to have them .

Shannintipton - posted on 05/30/2011

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I felt bad for making you stick your neck out there for my dumb post. Thanks

Charlie - posted on 05/30/2011

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Not sure why this is anonymous ?

WHy wouldnt I be happy for a child who is wanted and loved ?

Shannintipton - posted on 05/30/2011

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They invited everyone from her kindergartner class to a birthday party and only one student showed up. It was really sad.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 05/30/2011

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Dang Alyssa just give your opinion...or was that it? o_O
And there is no NEED she just wanted to know your take on the situation

Alyssa - posted on 05/30/2011

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yeah...and? so what, in this day and age why would one need an opinion on this?

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 05/30/2011

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Lol yes I was "pressing" you for a answer
Im so mean tracey

Amanda - posted on 05/30/2011

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My aunts are Lesbians, they have a child by a sperm donor, and he has a half brother from the same sperm donor. I think its great!

Jenn - posted on 05/30/2011

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What's wrong with that? It's the same as a straight couple who uses a sperm donor.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 05/30/2011

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So you only comment on controversial topics??
She simply wants to know what you think on the matter……

Sneaky - posted on 05/30/2011

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Um, I don't really have an opinion because it doesn't seem like a controversial decision to me . . . sorry!

Rosie - posted on 05/30/2011

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i think it's great!!lesbians are people who want to have kids just like most everyone else. i'm glad they got what they wanted.

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