I hope I didnt cross the line.....

Merry - posted on 07/05/2011 ( 34 moms have responded )

9,274

169

263

Today we went to walmart, we parked next to a full sized van and inside I saw a convertible seat rearfacing! I always get excited to see rearfacing seats cuz I'm huge on car seat safety and it seems there's always so many moms turning their kids forward so young here in USA.
So, I looked in at the car seat and noticed they were using the seat belt, but they had it through the wrong pathway!
There's a pathway for rearfacing under the kids butt, and there's a pathway for front facing behind the kids back.
Well they had it rearfacing but the sets belt was behind the back!
Ok so I'm no car seat technician but I'm pretty sure the seat won't work properly if it's buckled in wrong.
So as I complained about it to my husband he said, if it bothers you so much why don't you write a note and leave it on the car?
I thought about it and decided that while it did seem a bit rude, the safety of the toddler was more important to me then possibly sounding meddlesome.
My note went something like this.
Hi! I was very happy to see another rearfacing convertible seat, I have a passion for car seat safety and rearfacing is so important to keeping our kids safe. I just had to mention that your seat belt is going through the wrong pathway. The one it's in is for front facing, the rear facing one is down beneath the bottom of the seat. Sorry to meddle! ♥

Ok so do you think I did the right thing? I feel I did because safety is not something to look the other way about. I know it's technically not my business, but isn't safety everyone's business?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

LadyJane - posted on 07/06/2011

162

7

1

I would feel a bit violated that someone peeked in my car. However, I would check to make sure the car seat was in fact fastened properly and if not I would fix it, but if I were to go to that store again, I'd probably put a blanket over the seat to avoid future instances. I wouldn't be mad at the person who wrote the note, nor will I feel they were being mean. It's just that I'd feel as if I just been robbed. What if the person was a stalker and just wanted to see if I left something that could identify where I lived. I've been stalked before and seeing a note, any note would scare me. I will keep the note and re-read it later when I've calmed down to see if I have a valid reason to be scared.
My family has been threatened before so my initial reaction will reflect that.

All in all, I don't think I could do that and in the end I don't think I'd find the note offensive. It will just start off as a shock at not knowning who left it, etc.

Krista - posted on 07/05/2011

12,562

16

847

I think your note definitely hit the right tone -- they'd have to be pretty curmudgeonly to be offended by such a friendly, well-meaning missive. And I don't blame you for writing the note -- if you hadn't, that would have bothered you for a long time afterwards.

Katherine - posted on 07/05/2011

65,420

232

5195

I've noticed that when I take out my daughters car seat I always make sure I have it through the right way. If I'm transferring it or what not.
My ex on the other hand has my kids belts all twisted and the harnesses all jacked up. I've had to fix them quite a few times.
What's the point of a car seat if you use it incorrectly?

Merry - posted on 07/05/2011

9,274

169

263

Yeah I don't normally notice the instalation, but this was quite obvious as the seatbelt was stretching all the way around to the backrest, it looked strange which is why I went over to look closer.

34 Comments

View replies by

Adrienne - posted on 07/07/2011

134

4

8

I think you did the right thing!! My daughter just turned one on June 29th, and my doctor told me the new regulation for Iowa is to be rearfacing until the age of two, so, you bet your butt she'll be rearfacing until two! (As long as she doesn't out grow it, she's already 25lbs and 32 in lol) But I do think you did the right thing, the people may have just not known, or read the instruction manual wrong! There's a number of reasons they could have had the belt in the wrong spot!

Merry - posted on 07/07/2011

9,274

169

263

I just wanted to clarify, I didn't exactly have too look in the car, it was a big van with huge untainted windows so just sitting in my car I could see into their car.
I don't go up to car windows and look in, but if I can see in from a distance rearfacing convertible seats do catch my eye!
Thanks for the replies, I hope they weren't offended, but even if they were I think it was worth it because they likely fixed the seat even if they were a bit upset to begin with.

Carmina - posted on 07/07/2011

205

0

21

your a beautiful person! i would be so grateful if someone left me that note. i think you did a wonderful thing. nothing is more important then your children :)

Vegemite - posted on 07/06/2011

916

0

17

I would think it's a bit strange but would also have to check my car seat. Then I'd be thankful.

I've just had my car in for a service and used another car from our car yard. When transferring the seats back into my car I checked them and realised one had the head rest (forward facing) in the wrong position. Consequently the straps were also in the wrong position so my son was restrained but not correctly. Hmmmm not so good a job but all fixed now. Thank you.

April - posted on 07/06/2011

3,420

16

263

Kudos to Matt for a great suggestion! I think leaving a note is a great idea. It allows the parents to save face. They don't have to be embarassed in front of you, nor do they feel like they have to act like you didn't impress them, etc... If may use this idea in the future if I ever came across an unsafe situation but didn't want to embarass anyone!

[deleted account]

Idk i mean the way you wrote the note wasnt offensive at all but if i was coming out of the store and saw that note and read it i would be in disbelief and also be shocked that someone was like looking at my stuff. its a little weird to me. obviously i get the good intention but if it was me i would be wow thats weird throw the note away and go on about my day. i may inquire about the car seat belt but idk. i especially dont kno if i would even really do anything about it since i would have no idea who the stranger was that put a note on my car. . .

Jennifer - posted on 07/06/2011

317

11

19

Yes, you did the right thing. Someone may be offended by it, but you did it because you want the child to be safe. Maybe they didn't realize it was wrong and are relieved that they can now do it right?

[deleted account]

Sweet.There is nothing wrong with being nice and helpful.Way to go my friend.We need more nice/concerned people like you in this world. ♥

[deleted account]

If I had done something like that by mistake.... I would appreciate a note pointing it out to me. I'd fix the seat and 'beat myself up' about having it wrong and be VERY grateful that nothing had happened to my kid while the seat was in wrong.

I don't know how anyone ELSE would react, but that's me. Good job! :)

Carolee - posted on 07/05/2011

21,950

17

585

I think the note was well-written. I would be freaked out as hell that somebody was looking in my car and checking to make sure that I did everything to THEIR standards (I get that this one was a safety issue, though), even though you said that it caught your eye because it was obviously wrong. If I were that person, I would be both greatful for the safety tip, yet incredibly fearful for everything I did with my kids for fear that somebody else would comment on me not doing something else "correctly". I'm on the line on this one. I understand that it's about safety first, and that's why it's okay... but situations like this (where other people appear to butt in without invitation (when safety is not involved)) is why I'm basically a hermit.

Kate CP - posted on 07/05/2011

8,942

36

758

That's better than what I did one time...
We were driving around in an admittedly bad part of town and I look over to see a kid CLIMBING OVER SEATS to get to the front of the minivan next to us. I actually rolled down the window and screamed at the mother "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! PUT THAT BABY IN A DAMN CAR SEAT!" My husband sped off and berated me on the fact that we could have been shot. :P

Sneaky - posted on 07/05/2011

1,170

33

131

I don't think you could have done anything else - how worried would you have been if you had not left a note???

Stifler's - posted on 07/05/2011

15,141

154

604

I think you did the right thing. It would have been a bit asshole-ish to wait until they came out and give them a serve but leaving a note is like I'm concerned but not an asshole seatbelt nazi.

Merry - posted on 07/05/2011

9,274

169

263

Lol yeah ithad clearly marked stickers saying front facing belt path....butts know some people don't bother reading those labels!

Tara - posted on 07/05/2011

2,567

14

114

Riley is rear facing at 18 months and will stay that way till about 40 pounds.
I'm just curious if seats (new in the box from the store, not second hand) have stickers on them indicating where the belts thread through for rear facing and other ones with arrows pointing to the slots at the back for forward facing. Ours are big and bright and easy to understand even if you can't read!
Just wondering...

Tara - posted on 07/05/2011

2,567

14

114

Riley is rear facing at 18 months and will stay that way till about 40 pounds.
I'm just curious if seats (new in the box from the store, not second hand) have stickers on them indicating where the belts thread through for rear facing and other ones with arrows pointing to the slots at the back for forward facing. Ours are big and bright and easy to understand even if you can't read!
Just wondering...

Tara - posted on 07/05/2011

2,567

14

114

Good Call!!

I would have done the same. And often a written note is far less threatening to a parent than a face to face with a stranger about their kids safety.

Good job.

Merry - posted on 07/05/2011

9,274

169

263

Yeah it is sort of nosey and intrusive I think, but definitely worth it if you love your kid. I just wish I could know what happened when they got back to their car!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/05/2011

21,273

9

3058

I think it is great that you wrote a note. I am sure they will be annoyed at first, but grateful when the fix it.

Elfrieda - posted on 07/05/2011

2,620

0

462

I'm not passionate about car seat safety, and so I don't read up on all the ins and outs of it. If somebody left a note like the one you did, I would be glad to get that information in such a friendly way. I might be a little taken aback that someone peeked in my car, but I think that the relief to know that somebody cared about my child enough to tell me would overcome that little problem.

Becky - posted on 07/05/2011

2,892

44

93

This actually explains a lot! The first (and I think only) time I had to try to install a rear-facing convertable seat, I had a heck of a time! I was trying to pull the seatbelt through the back and it just wouldn't fit! It took me a good 20 minutes to get it, and I probably didn't have it right. :( Thank god we didn't get into an accident with the child!

Lady Heather - posted on 07/05/2011

2,448

17

91

I'd be glad to have someone point that out to me. It might have been as simple as Grandma had the kids for the day and she didn't know how to put it in properly (my parents always have to be shown because it's not the same as the old seats). No matter the reason though, I'd never be mad if someone pointed out a potentially fatal error to me!

Freja is still rear facing at just about 25 months. I will turn her when she is 18. :)

Becky - posted on 07/05/2011

2,892

44

93

I don't think you overstepped at all. I'm very passionate about carseat safety as well, and if I was doing something wrong, I would appreciate someone looking out for the safety of my child and pointing it out to me!

Firebird - posted on 07/05/2011

2,660

30

521

I think your note was written in a very friendly manner, and I think you did the right thing by letting this family know that their seat was buckled wrong. It's quite likely that they really didn't know that.

Minnie - posted on 07/05/2011

7,076

9

788

That sounds fine! I mean, it was something that could potentially cause a death.

Sarah - posted on 07/05/2011

1,499

10

41

Well, I personally think you did the right thing. :) I'm also huge on car seat safety & my 21 month old is still rear-facing. I catch myself checking out other people's car seats all the time lol. I'm mainly just curious to see if they still rear-face, but I've never actually checked out the belts before... of course it's soooo important to have it secured correctly! But, anyway I think what you said was very well worded & didn't sound rude at all. You were only looking out of the safety of the child.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms