I think they ran away with my daughter!!

Ben - posted on 12/09/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




Warm greetings to all the hard working moms here. First of all, i'm not a mom, i'm a dad. My ex-girlfriend and I met in china when she was teaching english here together with her mother.
I am from Tanzania and they're from canada, ontario to be precise.
We dated for about six months and she got pregnant. She decided she will go back to canada and deliver the baby, initially i didnt agree to that but later she talked me into it.
She flew back to canada leaving her mother here.
I noticed right from the beginning of the relationship that her mom didnt like me that much and i could also see she didnt quiet approve of the relationship. but i didnt really care about it that much.
Me and her were constantly communicating after she left talking about what name we gonna give to the baby girl and all that until her mom also left back home.

I got an e-mail from her telling me we should break up. I didnt quiet get it at first. So i asked her what she means about? Then she told me she found somebody. I asked her about the baby?
She told me the baby is still my baby.
Ok. So now its about almost two months before the baby is due, then she cut all communications with me totally from emails to cellphones and blocked me on facebook.
I sent a message to her mom about the situation, she told she'll talk to her about it and let me know, but no answers came. I was really lost and didnt know what to do but just wait for a while.
After months her mom sent me an email with pictures of my daughter and her mom in hospital.
I was a little relieved and happy that she delivered safely and healthy. Right after that communication between me her mom started again, they've named the baby after their family without my consent and knowledge. I asked about it then she gets upset and threatened that if pushed too much she'll block communications again wouldnt even be able to see my daughter again and that She's doing me a favor by giving me the opportunity to see my daughter in pictures.
I was tight on money at that time but i made sure I sent them some money every month to support the baby. Till now i still do
I know some of y'all will say, why didnt you go to canada to deal with the situation?
I am from Tanzania and to get a visa to visit canada is one of them biggest tests you'll ever take in your life ever.
I was constantly refused a visa to canada.
My daughter is 5 years old now, she lives with her grandma now and always asking about her dad.
Her grandma sent me an email three years ago telling me that my daughters mom is not capable of taking care of her because of her substance abuse problems so she wants to claim a temporary custody of her and children services wants one of her parents agree to that.
So i got a letter from my lawyer and sent to her for custody claims.
Her grandma and i are kinda cool for the past three years and sometimes she lets me talk to my daughter on skype because i've been supporting my daughter financially. I have proof of that.
I am still working in china. I talked to my daughter the other time and told her i was coming to visit her in christmas.
I got all the required documents together again and submitted to the canadian embassy here. They asked me my reasons of visiting canada. I told them im gonna go visit my daughter of 5 i have never seen in person.
Then they asked me to give them a proof of her birth certificate.
I called her grandma and asked her about it, she told me she will mail it to me, i have waited for it in almost a month, the letter hasnt got here yet. But she still insists she posted already I even asked her to give me the tracking number of the parcel she sent to track it.
She told me she will track it from there and got upset that im bothering her too much.
So i pushed some buttons on one of her older daughters asking why things are like this, then she told me the truth.
They did not put my name on my daughter's birth certificate. Thats the reason she can't send to me.
Does anybody on this forum feel my pain? I really dont know what to do now. What can i do? Any suggestions and thoughts are very welcome. Thanks a lot


View replies by

Raye - posted on 12/09/2014




Yours is a difficult situation since it crosses international borders. First, I'd find out if the grandmother would be willing to have a paternity test done proving you are the father. If she won't, find petition the court in Canada to get the paternity test done. Once that has been done, you should get documents proving your relationship. I'm not sure of Canadian law, but you should also find out if you can get the birth certificate amended to include your name. It would probably be easier if you have the cooperation from your daughter's mother and/or grandmother, but that may not be possible, so you may need a lawyer/solicitor to help you go through the courts. Any written communication where the mother admitted that the baby is yours may be helpful to the judge, so gather up evidence to show that you have every reason to believe that it's your child. Good luck to you.

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