I would NEVER do that!!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/20/2010 ( 32 moms have responded )

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Ok, so growing up my mother may have done things that now a days won't fly....gee like leaving me alone at 4yrs old sick. She was a single mom working 3 jobs at the time. We also got spanked in public if we did something wrong, and she even dropped us of at a rotary becouse she could not take the fightinng anymore!! LOL...I look back on this kind of stuff, and I can truly say I would NEVER do that! Things have changed sooooo freaking much. We were allowed at the mall and walk to the movies on our own at 8yrs old...What can you tell me about the differences in how you were raised vs. how you are raising your young ones?

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[deleted account]

I don't agree with everything my parents did, but that's because laws and information has changed since then. Had I been a parent back then I probably would have done everything they did. I still agree with the general parenting style they had, but we use car seats these days and BF for longer, those are about the only significant changes I can think of.

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[deleted account]

Geesh, where do I start?
I was left in the car when my Mum made a 'quick' hour trip into the shops. Just the other day my Dad was talking about how once when I was alone in the car I took out the lighter, put in a coin, put back the lighter and shorted out all the fuses in the car. I said to him "So I was playing with the cigarette lighter, in the car, by myself, and you don't think that was a bit dangerous?" and he said "Oh, never thought of it that way." Nice one Dad.
I was smacked (not often). I was a latch key kid and walked to and from school alone and was home alone til 5ish from about 8 years of age. From 8 I caught the train and bus alone into town and went to the movies by myself. I was supposed to make my own lunch from about 8 but I didn't like sandwiches so sometimes I took nothing. I was expected to look after my younger brother from a young age (and he was a handful). My parents never followed through on discipline with my brother and he was a shit. My mother constantly promised things and then never came through. My parents are pack rats and now I'm not even allowed to come to their house because they're ashamed at how messy and crowded it is.

So no, I try very hard to be the exact opposite of them. Don't get me wrong, I love them and see them frequently. But they are loons.

Meghan - posted on 12/21/2010

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We were raised in a combative, aggressive house. My parents didn't ever ask we felt or empathize with us. They also used spankings and sometimes worse. There was that attitude that kids should be seen and not heard too...
I live with my mom and it took her a REALLY long time to get on board with my positive parenting style. "He needs to be taught a lesson. Spank him." I couldn't imagine teaching my son that way and placing myself in his shoes every now and then.
Smoking in the house and car. I am a smoker but the thought of smoking that close to my son makes me sick
They were also total neat freaks. I like things clean but kids make a mess...that mess will still be there in the morning.

Shauna - posted on 12/21/2010

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My mom would always threaten to pull my pants down and spank me in public in front of everyone. Maybe thats why i was so timid and shy and always embarassed easily!!!----- i would never do that!!!!!

Krista - posted on 12/21/2010

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And actually, I just emailed my mom and told her that. It's easy to find fault with our moms sometimes, and goodness knows, mine CAN drive me absolutely insane. But in the grand scheme of things, she's a great mom, and I don't think I tell her that often enough.

Krista - posted on 12/21/2010

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I'm with Ali -- anything that I would do differently from my mom isn't because she was malicious. It's just because people didn't know better or didn't have the resources. I know if Mom had fully known the dangers of second-hand smoke, she and Dad wouldn't have smoked around us kids. Car seats were new to the market back then, and so my folks weren't aware of their benefits. I remember sitting on my mom's lap in the front seat when I was just a toddler, driving down the highway.

So yeah, there are things that I do differently from my Mom. But there are a lot of things I do the same. We're both working moms who adore their children, try to feed them well but don't object to occasional treats, are very generous with the hugs but are firm with the discipline, and do our best to make sure our kids know that they are very well-loved.

I can't think of anybody else I'd rather emulate.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/20/2010

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My mom rocks, she is my best friend and a wonderful grandmother. Things were just different then. I cannot imagine what my grandkids will or will not be allowed to do!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/20/2010

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I remember my mom speeding down a windy road and she saw a cop..he of course turned on his lights and pulled her over...but not before my mom yelled at me "put your seat belt on QUICK!" I think I was 4. I use to ride in the front from about 5 on....with or without a seat belt.

Another doozy....we had a lake 1/2 mile from our house on a pretty busy street. My sister and I would walk to it during the summer without adult supervision and be there the entire day. I think I was like 8 and she was 12 when we started doing it alone.

Nikkole - posted on 12/20/2010

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Me and my sisters would argue a lot and one day we were driving me and my 2 sisters were arguing well my mom snapped and put us out of the car and drove off slowly with all 3 of us running after the car LMAO so we didn't argue in the care after that,and spanking in public,throwing shoes at us when mad and couldn't catch us to spank,yelled all the time!!

[deleted account]

I would never attempt to drive from Perth to Sydney non stop in the middle of summer with a 2 year old and a 5 year old.... or an 8 year old and a11 year old. My parents did and when we were 8 and 11 we did it in a truck.

Amanda - posted on 12/20/2010

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Ya my parents had put the fear of the dear lord above in me by age 4. I would go to do something in a store that I knew I wasn't supposed to and they would just give me the "look" and instantly I'd stop. That happened pretty much everywhere though! Lol...they also smoked in the hosue, which we don't do...and they spanked us on rare occasions which I never have done except once to my older son for running in the road...but other than that they didn't do anything too extreme...but that was also only 24yrs ago sooo...lol I don't really do much of what my parents did even though they did do a rather good job raising me and my sister! I love em for that!

Kate CP - posted on 12/20/2010

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I use a frickin' car seat! That's right...on my way home from the hospital after I was born my mother let me lay on the floor of the car. Thanks, Ma.

[deleted account]

My brother and I were home alone together on occasion at 3 (me) and 6 (him) and I was home alone on a very regular basis by 9. My girls just turned 9 and have never been truly home alone (HOME alone, but I've never been off the property).

I didn't have a bike helmet.... they do.

I was basically never punished and barely ever disciplined.... they are.

I am WAY more lax w/ junk food and sweets than my mom was though. ;)

April - posted on 12/20/2010

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My parents were good parents, but I'm different. Growing up, my sister and I were breastfed to 3 and 6 months old, then given formula. We had our own rooms from 3 months old on. We rode in strollers, sat in high chairs...all those things that are deemed typical, even today. I, on the other hand, would NEVER give formula unless medically necessary. I co-sleep with my son (he has a crib next to my bed). I don't do strollers or high chairs...I wear my son in a ring sling and he has a booster seat that we've used for a while now. Oh and I don't spank...but got spanked as a child and I even got soap in my mouth once. The soap is something I would DEFINITELY never do to my son, ever.

[deleted account]

I guess I'm opposite of most of you. My parents were very over-protective. I tend to be way more free range (though I'm really in the middle).

Mom is a clutter bug and overly sentimental about objects. She's kept most of my clothes and toys and she tries to give them to my daughter. I have no room for that in my house. I don't want a lot of stuff hanging around. I get rid of stuff the second we're done with it. That drives my mom crazy, but oh well, I want don't want to deal with clutter.

Other than that, I feel my parents were amazing and I hope to emulate them. =)

Jocelyn - posted on 12/20/2010

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Growing up my mom was a pretty good mom. Once I reached my late teens tho, she decided that she didn't really want to be a parent anymore. It's not like she physically abandoned us, she was still there, she just...stopped being a mom. If that makes sense.
So I am going to make sure that I don't do that to my kids. I will always be there to talk, I will be reliable. I will be like my dad!

Stifler's - posted on 12/20/2010

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We overloaded the car on the way home from church with friends who wanted to come over. I would never do that. We jumped off the roof onto the trampoline, tied a rope to the back of the go-kart and held on with roller blades on on the tennis court, I would never let my kids do that. My parents traveled around Australia (including the Northern Territory) when I was 3 and my sister was 1 in a Kingswood with a caravan on the back. I would NEVER do that in this day and age.

[deleted account]

For the most part my mom is a brill mom, I try to be like her because she is fab. However, she did do things I won't do with my kids - I will never smack my kids, there is no need (and mom knows better ways now) and like others my bro and I were left in the car while mom and dad went shopping/ into people's houses I will never do that. We was put to sleep on our sides but that was due to the advice then (none of my children will be).

I can't really think of anything else, there's nothing too sinister as I said, mum is the best mum ever - she rocks!

Caitlin - posted on 12/20/2010

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I don't beat my kids like my mom..
I don't drink excessively like my mom...
I don't plan on disowning my kids like my mom (well, she disowned my older sister)..

She wasn't a great mom... I hope to be better, it helps I have a great partner who is on the same page as me.

JuLeah - posted on 12/20/2010

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I walked all over town, rode the bus, went for the day to the river with my friends ... never would I allow that.
I don't spank or yell in public or at home. I won't do anything at home I'd not do in public and that is a big big difference between how I am raising my daughter and how I was raised. It was all about public image.
I play with my daughter, I don't recall that adults really play with kids when I was young. I have such a clear memories of adults playing with me, about 5, but so clear and I recall just loving the attention.
We were to be seen but not heard.

Rosie - posted on 12/20/2010

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my mother didn't have us use seat belts either. i also goot to stand up in the front seat as well. one time we got into an accident, and i remember flying forward and cracking my head on the ashtray. they took me to the hospital after that for xrays.
my mother tells me stories of her breastfeeding me while driving, lol.
my dad smoked in teh house, and my mom smoked in the car (rarely, but she did it). and she would also let us stay in the car while she went shopping.
there's not much other than that that my mom did that i wouldn't do. she let us roam around all over town at young ages. i won't let my kids do it that young, but we live in a different area, a bigger city. i think if we lived in the same spot i would.

[deleted account]

my mom would leave me in the car when she would go shopping. She fed her children carnation cream with rice cereal instead of formula with the exception of me and my older brother, we were breastfed. She would give the babies a spoonful of sugar if we had the hiccups. She thought it was ok to spank. She didn't think anything about having a few drinks when no sober adult was present to take care of us.She smoked around me. I lived off of mr noodles, kd, hot dogs and pancakes usually...not a very balanced diet...lol When i was a teen she would buy my smokes for me. I was aloud to drink and party in my house when i was 15..then she kicked me out at 16 because i was "too much to handle.."I wanted to leave though.. shes a bitch.



Basically everything my mom did. I do the opposite.

Becky - posted on 12/20/2010

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When I was 4, my little sister fell out of bed in the middle of the night, while my mom was in the hospital having just had my brother. She cut her eye and had to be taken in for stitches. I didn't want to go, so my dad just left me home by myself. He did call the neighbors and let them know to keep an eye on the house though. They used to leave us in the car while they went shopping too. We lived in small towns where everyone knew each other, so I'm sure it was relatively safe, but it's sure not something I'd do now! I don't even leave my kids in the car to go pay for gas!
My mom has struggled with depression for as long as I can remember, and sometimes she used to get really sad and would "run away" for a while (like a few hours, not days) or lock herself in her bedroom. That was scary for me and not something I'd like to model. They spanked and sometimes I felt my mom was a little overly critical.
Oh, and they sent us away to boarding school. They really had no choice at the time, and I know my mom regretted it. Definitely something I would not do!
For the most part, I think my parents were great parents and I do a lot of things the way they did, but there are those few things I would never do, or try my best not to do.

Jackie - posted on 12/20/2010

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I'm only 28 )or will be in a few days) but they didn't pass the seat belt law here until I was like 4. Although I'm sure I should've been buckled in. And I'm also sure I was buckled in as a baby so I dunno...

Jenn - posted on 12/20/2010

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OK - you guys can't be much older than I am (34) and you didn't wear seatbelts? Our car wouldn't move until everyone was buckled in.

Jenn - posted on 12/20/2010

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I'm not doing a whole lot different than my parents did because I think they did a great job raising us. The only one thing I can think of is that I will try to keep the communication even more open than it was with my parents, especially when they are teenagers. Oh wait - there is one big thing - I tell my kids every day that I love them. We weren't actually told that much as kids, but it was never doubted - but I still think it's nice to hear it so I tell them daily.

Barb - posted on 12/20/2010

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i don't think i do anything my mom does, i'm a 180 from her. As a matter of fact, if i think my mom would do it one way, i'd purposefully do it another way.

I wouldn't remove my child 3000 miles from their other parent. I wouldn't expose my child to a litany of boyfriends. I wouldn't not only smoke in front of my child, but when i found out my child started smoking, i wouldn't then purchase cigarettes for my child. I wouldn't leave my child alone in the vehicle. i wouldn't leave my child in the care of her older siblings for months at a time. i wouldn't abandon my child. i wouldn't buy alcohol for my underage child. i wouldn't let my 12 year old child ride their bike 30 miles with a 13 year old girlfriend through orange county california, Santa ana included.

reading back through all this, i'm don't think my mom really liked me around all that much LOL she was trying to off me

Jodi - posted on 12/20/2010

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Like Jackie, my mom smoked in the house...I completely quit smoking before getting pregnant and we NEVER wore seatbelts! That was just the times. My mom would also have us run into the gas station to buy her smokes for her, now it's illegal, but still.
Also, my mom (a SAHM) never woke up in the morning to get us dressed and off to school in teh morning. We were on our own for that, we hardly ever ate breakfast, never brushed our teeth (until we got older that is) had mismatched clothes etc etc. Looking back, I'm sure we looked like neglected children, and it's not something I would never do with my daughters. When they get up, I get up so they get breakfast, brush their hair and teeth, etc etc etc. That's my one thing I've always said I would never be like my mom and do that!

[deleted account]

I think I mimic my mother's parenting style pretty closely with one exception....spanking. I do NOT believe in any form of corporal punishment, and that is largely due to the fact that my parents did. My mom sees the errors of her ways and would not do the same things today.

I love my mom!

Jackie - posted on 12/20/2010

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I know my mom would kick my ass for this but she smoked in the house when we were growing up and I would never ever do that! We also used to ride around with no seat belts. I remember standing up in the front seat! I know my parents didn't mean any harm though. It's just how things were, I guess

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