If you had a choice?

Desiree - posted on 02/19/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )




A few years ago I had a conversant with my GP that neither of us knew would come to have a huge effect on my life.

The question asked that day was

"If you could choose would your rather be deaf or blind?"

My answer then and still is I would rather be blind than deaf. My reasoning is as a recently blind person I would always remember thee face of my children and husband as they are now, I would know what a rose looks like and the color of the sky after a Highveld thunderstorm. The smell of freshly cut grass would alway remind me of the green summer grass under the trees on a picnic.

But I could never imagine life without hearing my children laughing, crying or singing, birds, rain in the summer time, winter wind through the trees. Geese on the lake, dogs barking worst all a world with no music for me is .......... I can't even get my head around it"

The profound part of it is that even though I would rather go blind I have just been told I am going deaf, who ever heard of a deaf singer. This I will deal with in my own time no use jumping the post before i get there. So just out of interest sake what would you prefer.


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Sally - posted on 02/21/2012




Im so sorry to hear your news. I think id rather go deaf. I say this because like you my partner has hearing problems that have grown worse over time and now would be completely deaf without aids, even they won't work one day. I see him still able to enjoy things like riding his Harley etc. I think id hate not being able to see around me .

**Jackie** - posted on 02/20/2012




I guess I would choose deafness. I already know sign language and I don't know if I could mentally deal with not seeing my daughter and husband's face. I would rather not hear my daughter's voice than not see her grow.

Amanda - posted on 02/20/2012




I grew up with a deaf aunt, so I would rather be deaf. You can still live a very fulling life without hearing. Lack of sight makes life much more difficult. I couldnt imagine not being able to see my children are safe or not. Not seeing my children get married, or my grandchildrens faces.

Jennifer - posted on 02/20/2012




Like Tam, I suffer hearing loss. From the military, and from working in dog kennels. I also would prefer loosing my hearing to my sight. I can ride horses with out sound, but would be limited with out sight. Driving is also something I could do deaf. I also know quite a bit of sign for my job, and I already use it to communicate in crowds.

I do feel isolated while in crowds or noisy places. It is amazing how 'unthinking' people can be when it comes to things they can and always could do. I found it best to let people know right up front that my hearing is bad.

I am sorry for your loss, I hope that you can find a way to keep your music going. I was told by a friend that she lacks the conifdence to sing in public anymore, but her voice is still just as beuatiful, she just has to feel the beat now.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 02/20/2012




First off, Desiree I am sorry to hear of your hardship. I honestly couldn't imagine having to have either imposed onto me.

Although, for the sake of the question, neither are of course a preference for anyone. Just picking one, it is deafness for me....

I need to be able to see my children grow and see them walk down the aisle when married. I need to see my grandchildren (if I am fortunate enough to be gifted with some). I couldn't imagine not being able to look into my husbands eyes and see how much he truly loves me. I love colour and it has a very large impact on my daily being. When it is gloomy out my spirits are low, when it is bright with sunshine my spirits soar... I also live to coming home and seeing my dog in the window barking to high heaven with excitement that Momma is home and my 16 month old boy jumping at the gate above our stairs with joy.

Even though I work with a blind man and he does very well. He lives on his own and is very self sufficient. I am amazed with what our bodies can do without all supporting features actively working. It's incredible, for a lack of better words... ;)

Tam - posted on 02/20/2012




Deafness would be my choice. And due to my occupation, I have already suffered some hearing loss, but it's not degenerative. Jet engines are just really, really loud.

I draw, read, write, and do a lot with my hands. To lose either my sight or my hands would be a devastating blow to me. In fact, I am incredibly lucky so far, as I am the only person in my family who has perfect vision, and never had to wear glasses. My brother, sister, parents, grandparents, etc all wear glasses in some form and it gets worse as they age.

I think I would choose deafness over sight loss because of similar reasons to why you'd do the opposite; I can fill in what I cannot hear through memories and imagination.

But I cannot imagine a world without color, texture, and visual vibrancy.

Desiree - posted on 02/20/2012




Thanks ladies for your support, I am amazed at the different way each person sees the possibility of losing a sense that many take for granted. And yet it would be interesting to see what people who have lost either of these actually think about it.

Stifler's - posted on 02/20/2012




Being deaf. I would be lost without being able to see. and very claustrophobic.

Jodi - posted on 02/19/2012




I would rather go deaf. To see my children's smiles, to see their beautiful blue eyes, to see "that look" my husband gives me that says "I love you more than anything in the world." I'm not a photographer, but I definately dabble in photography, taking lots of nature pics and photoshopping. For me, life without sight...that's what I wouldn't be able to get my head around.

I have not been diagnosed with anything, but macular degeneration runs on both sides of my family, along with cataracts. 9 of my moms 11 brothers and sisters have had to have lense replacements, one is legally blind without her glasses and one is visually impaired. It scares the crap out of me of what could happen to my sight down the road. But for now, I take lots of pictures and absorbe the visual world around me and try not to think of it.

I am so sorry for your situation, I can't even imagine. *hugs*

Mrs. - posted on 02/19/2012




Well, there may not be many deaf singers, but there was a very well known and influential deaf composer...but that was what you wanted addressed.

I would rather go blind too. I am also a performer and play instruments. I agree with all you said about the reasons why.

I know you didn't want it to be the focus, but...

I cannot imagine what kind of blow that is to find out or the adjustments you'll have to make. In saying what I have to say, I don't in anyway want to pretend like I understand at all what impact this will make on your life - because I don't.

That being said, I was diagnosed in my mid twenties with a couple chronic diseases that had a large impact on my ability to be physical for a living. This happened while I was going to school for musical theatre...which includes, of course, dance. There was nothing more I wanted to do than to make a go as a professional musical theatre performer. When it came down to it, I couldn't do the dance anymore...I mean on some days I couldn't walk very well. At some point, I had to rework my dream, I had to take what I could do and find a way to make money doing it. So, even though I had never thought I'd be any good at it, I started to audition for commercials and on camera things. I stopped auditioning for musicals and forcing my body to do things that it simply couldn't. Eventually, I got pretty good at the other thing and made money doing it.

That doesn't mean I don't miss musicals, or dancing or that old dream. As an artist though, you can find a way to survive and still create...wether you are a pro or not.

Who knows? Maybe you will write a book about a singer, begin painting what you wish you could hear or maybe you could compose, just like Beethoven. The strange thing is, you might end up being a better writer/painter/whatever than you ever were a singer.

I know, I'm just some random person on the net. You can take or leave what I have to say on the subject. I just know, for myself, that some of my biggest loses, as an artist, turned into being some of my biggest opportunities.

Krista - posted on 02/19/2012




Shit, I'm really sorry that you're going deaf, Desiree. I hope you find a way to keep singing!

Personally, I would rather go deaf than blind. We live in a very visual world, and I can't imagine a world of darkness. I would feel very helpless and vulnerable. I'm sure there are many blind people who are very self-sufficient, but I would just feel vulnerable and exposed, not being able to see anything.

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