Imitation is the sincerest of flattery

Jessica - posted on 09/07/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

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It sounds a little crazy, but we are friends with a couple that live down the street. Before they moved down the street I knew her husband from high school but that was about it. After they moved they started coming over a lot, mainly do to convenience, since then there have been some crazy changes. In the last 5 years;

we bought a 4-wheeler - the bought the same one the following season,

same color (cameo not very common and more expensive), with the same up-seat and tire upgrades.

we got a lab mix pup - they loved him and the following spring got chocolate lab puppy,

which they haven’t trained and is terribly behaved

my husband bought a new pick up truck - they got their first pick up truck

we bought a camper - they drove around Ottawa with us looking at campers and bought one the next summer

my husband took up hunting - next season so did hers

my husband fishes - now so does hers

we got engaged - 6 months later so were they

my husband bought a new truck and its a deramaxx diesel - they are looking to get a deramaxx but cant find one they can afford yet

my husband and I got matching cell phones - 3 weeks later they have the exact same phones as us

on a camping trip it was so bad that I walked up to the wrong guy and cuddled into him as her husband was leaning on his 4-wheeler wearing the same coat, pants, hat and boots as my husband wears every camping season, but his was all BRAND NEW!!!

It’s becoming crazy and now everything drives me nuts.

She called and asked if i would be upset if she used the same father-daughter dance as us at her wedding, i said yes, she used it anyways, and she doesnt listen to country

Right after our wedding we started trying for a baby, they did the same which I understand is normal but now everything drives me nuts.

The final straw is CRAZY for me to be upset about - on Friday I told them I was looking into getting a blackberry but my free upgrade wasn’t till June so Dan and I would be getting blackberries’ in June. I didn’t even think of it as she had always talked about getting an I phone and how much she wanted on. TWO days later I got a text that with their new black berry numbers!!!!!! Her and I have discussed how her husband does a lot of thing my husband does more than once over the past 5 years.



What can I do to sort it out or to get rid of them as friends?

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[deleted account]

Why do you have to get rid of them? Just because they copy your ideas doesn't make them bad friends. Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but I think real friends are worth keeping even if they are annoying or a little bit strange.

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18 Comments

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Karen - posted on 09/09/2010

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Feel flattered these sad people have no ideas of their own and take it as a compliment..... you and your husband must have very good taste. believe it or not my daughter has the same problem with one of her friends, to the point she ends in tears. i said to her take it as a compliment and smile to yourself..... mind you i do like the nipple piercing idea...lol..
take care, dont let them upset your every day life.

Johnny - posted on 09/08/2010

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I'm not sure I'd care. I'd be a bit weirded out, and hubby & I would probably get a lot of laughs out of it. But I don't see why anyone would want to end a friendship over it. Perhaps they admire your life, find you to be inspirational. Yes, perhaps slightly annoying, but really not a big deal.

I like Krista's idea. You could have a bit of fun with it and at the same time, it might help them to really see what they are doing. Because they may not even realize it.

?? - posted on 09/08/2010

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Another point of view is maybe you're letting yourself think more of it than there is. Maybe it seems like they're copying you but they're not, it's just the general flow of life. All of those things seem like pretty ordinary options in life. I can think of about 4-5 friends that all did the same general things within 6-12 months of each other. Including buying nearly the same or the same vehicle, clothing, engagements, wedding and songs and having children and buying a house.

I doubt they're all coincidental but is there really anything that says they're doing because you did it and not because the options are just what work for them too.

Maybe he started fishing cause he thinks your husband and him and some buddies can go fishing some time. And they wouldn't ask him to go if he didn't know how to fish. Or go hunting or any of those guy bonding moment events that men go on.

The truck, guys like trucks, maybe he sees how the truck your husband got works so well for the things your husband does with it and it's generally the same as what he would be using it for so he is looking into purchasing that truck as well. It's really not all that abnormal within friendship circles, or even communities.

For example, when my parents purchased a ford focus years and years ago - 3 other people in the community got one within a year of my parents getting one after learning about the gas mileage, the dealerships reputation and the cost of it. They weren't copying my parents - it was just a good vehicle for their family. And my dad got a work truck recently, 2 weeks later, 4 of the exact same trucks showed up within the community because it's a good truck.


Engagements, weddings, babies, clothes, vehicles... Maybe you're reading into it too much.

If it bothers you or you find it weird, casually mention how weird it is how your lives have flowed so in sync with each other... see what she has to say about it. But unless it's OBVIOUS that she's trying to BE you or her husband is trying to BE your husband... I wouldn't worry about it. If she starts changing her laugh to sound like your laugh or cutting her hair to look identical to yours while she scopes out your wardrobe so that you wear the same outfit with your hair the same way to the exact same event... I think you're reading into it too much.

[deleted account]

Sorry, I had to laugh when I read this thread....takes me back to highschool. Good luck with that!

Amanda - posted on 09/08/2010

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I am with you Alison I really dont see how this is a reason to end a friendship, or even confront about it. You should be flattered, clearly your opinion is extremely important to these people. Sit back and think, maybe you are your own worse enemy, do you go on and on about your new stuff, are you a walking television ad for everything new you get?

JuLeah - posted on 09/08/2010

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Not sure they are friends, so that part is not a problem



Why don't you start talking about how you are in a giving spirit and thinking of giving your bestest neighbor a lot of money and spendy gifts



Maybe they will take the lead and do it first



Talk about how you are looking for a house in ... Australia. Again, maybe they will take the lead



Odds are they don't see that they are following you like this. They might really believe they also came up with the idea



It is interestting really, I mean, most of us don't get to see this clearly who is watching, following our lead.



It is a reminder to me that I must always do/be my best - set an example if you will. I don't know who might be tracking my steps

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/07/2010

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AHHHHH!!! CATHY!! LOL I just watch single white female this afternoon..no shitting...and I am NOT copying you!!! FREAKING FUNNY!!!!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/07/2010

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Get the I phone insteas...or get the EVO..I love it!!! LOL...I know that is not what you are asking about...but I get what you are going through. A girlfriend of mine pretty much copied everything about my wedding...from the rings to the magnetic goodies...she even named her daughter a name that I had chosen for very personnal reasons. Be up front. That or don't befriend them any longer.

Stifler's - posted on 09/07/2010

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Maybe they want to be good friends as they don't have a lot of friends. I agree with Sharon, ask them to stop copying everything you do!

Charlie - posted on 09/07/2010

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I agree with Krista , you could have a looooooot of fun with this MWAHAHAHA .

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 09/07/2010

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Some of the big toys yall cant help but let them see, but other things small you could keep to yourself….and as you stop hanging out with them, hopefully they should get the message…
If your not a person that is blunt face to face, then you should slowly stop hanging out with them, and slowly stop answering calls and text messages.
Make up that things are not going well and you need space…and then make that space last longer and longer…
I hope it works out for you…that is annoying

Lyndsay - posted on 09/07/2010

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I would just tell them they're creepers and they need to A) think for themselves or B) fuck off. The part where you cuddled up to the wrong husband was kind of funny though... from an outsider's point of view..

Sharon - posted on 09/07/2010

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I haven't had any "friends" like those since highschool.

Why not just be direct and ask why they seem to be copying you?

She'll either answer honestly - "you have such good ideas and seem so happy and we want the same thing..." and you'll feel a better and be able to talk to her about how uncomfortable its all making you feel and the friendship is possibly saved.

Lie "we're not copying you, you're copying us." and the friendship is over - which it pretty much is anyway so you're out nothing.

or she'll lie "we're not, why do you say that?" in which case you'll get the chance to show her why you think she is and explain why it bothers you and maybe the friendship is saved.

But I like Kristas' ideas!!!

Amie - posted on 09/07/2010

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Honestly, that would freak me out enough that I'd just end the friendship.

=S

Tah - posted on 09/07/2010

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i was watching behind the music with pink and you know what she said..."i know people say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but to me, it's just annoying"....Piaget couldn't have said it better...have some fun i say..tell them you guys had a blast streaking through the neighborhood last friday...and when you see them butt naked running around..call the cops...then act surprised when they bail out and tell you what happened..."you what....o my goodness....there was noone out when we did it..."

Krista - posted on 09/07/2010

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Tell them that you and your husband are planning on getting matching nipple piercings.

And then don't do it. See what happens.

Keep doing this. Tell them you're planning on painting your walls liver purple. Even buy a can of the paint to show her how "nice" the colour is. Then don't do it.

Either she'll stop imitating you, or at least, you'll have a good laugh.

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