In your OPIONION how old is to old to physically have and raise a baby/child?

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 01/16/2011 ( 61 moms have responded )

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Should a law be made that women over the age of 40 have permission to get pregnant”

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Iris - posted on 01/17/2011

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I just had a thought...

Shouldn't it be illegal to have children before you have a drivers license, can vote/join the military at 18 or drink "adult" drinks at 21??

If the society thinks you're too immature to make decisions about your own life, should you be responsible for another life?



Just saying... At least us "old folks" are mature enough to legally make our own decisions....

Mary - posted on 01/17/2011

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Iris is right....before the late 60's and early 70's, and the advent of reliable (and accessible) birth control, it wasn't even remotely uncommon for women to spontaneously conceive and birth a child in their 40's. The biggest difference is that these women usually had already had a few kids, some of whom we already well in their teens. They were referred to as "change of life" babies.



My own mother is one; her mother was 40 when she had my mother in 1945. That same grandmother was the youngest of 9; her mother was 46 when she was born (in 1905). Both women lived into their 80's.



I was 38 when my own daughter was born...after years of trying to conceive with IUI and IVF (and being 29 when I started), I spontaneously conceived at 37. I had no significant complications. I worked full-time, 3 12hr nights as an L&D nurse (meaning I ran my ass off each night) up until 2 days before I delivered. I even continued to walk my dogs 2-5 miles a day (although I do admit that I only did maybe a mile and a half the last 3 weeks, simply because my bladder was too unreliable, and peeing in a bush with 2 dogs at 36 weeks is NOT fun!). I had a short, easy labor and delivery. I'm 40 right now, and there is not a doubt in my mind that I am just, if not more, physically capable than many women younger than me.

Jodi - posted on 01/16/2011

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LMAO, 40 isn't old!!! Personally, I don't feel like going out and having another baby, I've got quite enough, but I honestly have to laugh at anyone saying 40 is old. The way you put it "physically", makes me feel like perhaps I should go and start pricing a walking frame!!!



Sure, there are increased risks once you reach a certain age, but, honestly, we go through menopause for a reason. Why should there be a law when all women have a natural time when they stop producing eggs? So for naturally conceiving a child, I say no, a law would be ridiculous. For IVF, well, the average age of menopause in western society is about 52, so go with that.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/17/2011

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I feel that when a women hits menopause that is it. This is there bodies way of saying no more babies. It is natural, and I think that is the point women should stop. For my family, that seems to be about 45...my mom started menopause at 40 though. Some women start sooner, some start later. It is mother nature saying NO MORE!

Jenny - posted on 01/19/2011

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The line in the sand should be menopause. I don't believe in creating babies artificially so when your body enters the next phase your child bearing years should be over. If the drive to parent is overwhelming (which it can be of course) then fostering or adoption should be the preferred route.

Either way though I would not support a law restricting pregnancy at any age. The law has no business in our bodies period.

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♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 01/20/2011

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For those that feel this is “Absurd” “Silly” “Ridiculous” and one of the dumbest questions they have ever laid eyes on, its very simple…..”Don’t answer” navigate away from this thread….otherwise give your opinion on the question, Not what you think of the question and keep it moving....



*Smooches* :-0)

LadyJane - posted on 01/20/2011

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As for the risks, honestly, there's risk even if you're in your 20s, Down syndrome in babies can even occur when the parent is in their 20's so it all depends on health. It's all in how much time are you willing to devote to that child should they become born with such. If you're able to handle that risk than there shouldn't be an issue and you shouldn't be afraid to take the chance. I know some parents fear those kinds of risk and end up deciding not to get pregnant even though chances it would happen to them are low. Just make sure that you're physically and mentally able to handle anything that arises.

LadyJane - posted on 01/20/2011

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since I was having issues posting. Asking me to log in even though I was arleady logged in. geesh. Anyway, As I was trying to post earlier. Doesn't matter how old, etc. If you're healthy enough you can have healthy children. My grandma, now 95yrs old had her first child at 42 and another at 45 and both are successful intelligent men. I even know of someone who just had one at 46. Not all doctors should be listened to, actually. My doctor told me I'd never have another child after my daughter was born, well 8 years later I had my son so he obviously lied. Honestly; if you have had overall good health and are willing to take care of a baby than age shouldn't stop you. Of course that's if you're still able to have children physically. No one should tell you whether you can or can't have one, while your husband, boyfriend, sperm donor, whichever you wish to call them do need to be present for this to take place. ( Unless you're doing the fake insemination techniques ) So it should be a mutual decision if they're going to be providing the "goods". But it doesn't need to be a "PERMISSION REQUIRED" sort of thing. Also before following a doctors advise on if you're able to continue to have pregnancies, get more than 2 opinions. Not all doctors are updated on procedures; unfortunately so there may be ways of carrying a healthy pregnancy even after the age of 50. But it still should be up to the woman who is going to carry the baby, not up to any government official or anyone else for that matter.

Amber - posted on 01/20/2011

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according to a girl from the Teen Pregnancy post, us going-on-25 year olds are pushing the limit. don't i feel 'old'. LOL i think if you feel you can have a kid, you can have a kid. anything after that is up to you, your responsibility.

Sal - posted on 01/20/2011

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i do think that fertility treatments should be looked at closley (age of parents, chosing sex, how many can be implanted) and drs being more responsible not just taking the money and making babies, if you haven;t had a baby by 40 why not????i know it just hasn't happened for some people but for those who have put it off and wanted to do X Y Z first maybe you should have put it a little higher up your list, you can't defer it then expect some dr to play god so you don't miss out and all of a sudden all the celebreties have cute babies in new idea, i have a wonderful friend who is 36 never married and desperatly wants a baby, it would break my heart if she got to 40 married and was told sorry you're too old!! maybe 40 is a bit young for regulation, the 50 year olds should really have a long hard think about it but many many women fall preg natuarally after 40 so what are you going to do with them....

[deleted account]

Come on Monique - before you asked this question did you think about how on eath such a law would be enforced? Did you envisage pregnant women of 42 being dragged off to be forcibly aborted because they hadn't got the baby permit? Or new born babies being torn out of their arms and put up for adoption because mum is 43? Really!!

Betty - posted on 01/19/2011

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by the age of 40 it is true that women cannot keep up with the 20 year olds but they have life experience on their side when it comes to having and raising children. I think as long as a doctor has given a thumbs up on there mental and physical health, the government has no right to tell them if they can or cannot have a child, that is what this country is supposed to be about...FREEDOM and FREE WILL!!!!!!!!!!!

[deleted account]

altho i think the question literally is a bit absurd i do think the idea behind it was reasonable. let me explain of course no one should have to ask to get pregnant thats ridiculous!! however i kno what mean like if people older like 48 50 altho uncommon( wait i think?? dont quote me! haha) for those who do is it safe?? for baby?? is it even reasonable to do so? hmmm questions. the facts are there. what if a couple never got blessed with a baby? and then at 50 did!! is it ok then?? i really dont kno if its easier or harder for parents at that age to have children

Joanna - posted on 01/18/2011

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Yes but having a child at 60, there's a much greater chance for the parent to die (due to illness, accident, plus natural causes), than if you have a child at 40. That's what I'm getting at. I have no problems with 40-year-olds having children. But if you are ordering off the senior menu... Not so much.



Edited to add: my replies are to the title question, not the subject of 40-year-olds getting permission... In that matter, we should not need permission to procreate, that is our right as women at any age.

Amy - posted on 01/18/2011

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I agree that we could all die at any time and saying that parent could die before child is an adult due to age is irrelevant.

Jackie - posted on 01/18/2011

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http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/tr...
Are women over age 35 at increased risk of having a baby with a birth defect?
A woman's risk of having a baby with certain birth defects involving chromosomes (the structures in cells that contain genes) increases with age. Down syndrome is the most common chromosomal birth defect. Affected children have varying degrees of mental retardation and physical birth defects. A woman's risk of having a baby with Down syndrome is (1):

•At age 25, 1 in 1,250
•At age 30, 1 in 1,000
•At age 35, 1 in 400
•At age 40, 1 in 100
•At 45, 1 in 30
•At 49, a 1 in 10
---------------------------------------------------
that is a HUGE risk, Id be inclined to say that after 40 having a baby should be limited to women that are healthy, above average intelligence, and very well financially off since there is such a high risk of problems

Jodi - posted on 01/18/2011

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Well, a 40 year old is hardly likely to die before the child grows up if they are healthy!!! It's not like we have one foot in the grave at 40! No more so than someone has at 30.

Joanna - posted on 01/18/2011

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Personally, if there is a high chance the parents will die before the child reaches adulthood, they maybe shouldn't have children.

Jane - posted on 01/17/2011

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No, I don't think there should be a law where a woman over 40 has to get permission to have a baby. That's just ridiculous. HOWEVER, I think that when people bring children into the world, they should consider their age as a factor. I don't think 40 is too old but a kid deserves to have the odds in their favor with regards to their parents health and ability to participate in their life. The older parents are when they have (or adopt) a child, the more likely it is that a child may be parentless before they are adults, they are dealing with a sick parent(s) or their parent is not physically able to care for them properly.

[deleted account]

This is kind of a touchy subject for me because I am approaching 40 (in July....trust me, I'm slooooowly approaching if you catch my drift lol more like hovering). I had some fertility issues that made it where my son, now 3, wasn't born until I was 36. So lately, hubby and I have been discussing another, using the same methods we used (you know, the "not trying" method /wink wink) before. For me, 40 definitely isn't too old. I agree that once mother nature has set menopause in motion, that may be the time when it becomes "too old". But even then, it's so subjective. Like someone else said earlier, most women follow in the footsteps of their mothers when it comes to menopause. I know my mother was still having normal menstrual cycles when she was 50 so for me, that's my ray of sunshine as far as trying for another at 40 and beyond. But I also have a friend who had early onset menopause at 35 and watched her crawl out of her skin for a LONG time, getting used to her body's new "norm" and hot flashes and no regular cycles and all that. So for her, at 35, even though menopause had definitely hit her, she wasn't too old, physically or mentally. I guess I'm just gonna stay middle of the road on this one and say "it depends". Every woman, just like every baby, is different. And the differences matter in decisions like this.

Lacye - posted on 01/17/2011

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I personally don't want to have children after I turn 30 but if a woman wants to have one later than that I don't see why not. I have a cousin who just had a baby in November and she is 42. The child does have down syndrome (part of the reason why I don't want to have anymore after 30) but I don't see the problem with it.

[deleted account]

I think it depends on the over all physical health of the individual. There is no set number, a 40 year old who is in horrible shape and feels like she doesn't have long, shouldn't have a baby. If a 40 year old is healthy and thriving, feels young and able, then have a baby. I don't think a law should be made against it. They should take it upon themselves to have common courtesy for their baby not to if they feel they are unable. I don't know too many 40 year olds who are in that bad of shape they cant raise a child. I can see 60+, but not 40.

Tara - posted on 01/17/2011

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Nope.
If someone is capable and willing and able to bring a child into this world, why not?
Who is to say that the 49 year old first time mom isn't going to be a good mom, or a physically able mom. All the power to them.
I am 37 and have a 1 year old plus 5 more ages 5, 8, 10, 14 and 17.
One of my friends is due with her 6th and she will be 40 when she gives birth, she's a great mom, cross country skiis, runs marathons, plays tennis etc.
I would frown on my mom having babies at her age of 60, just because I know how tired her body is, what her health issues are etc. but if she were able and capable and wanted one, I would support that choice.
There should be no laws legislating reproduction for women over a certain age.

Amy - posted on 01/17/2011

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HELL NO, women should always have a choice to have children. I know a woman who was nearly 60 and was unable to have kids. It was such a blessing. What, if she asked permission AFTER she got pregnant, what would they do, ask her to have an abortion after so many years of waiting? I think anyone at any age asking permission to have children is crap.

Nikkole - posted on 01/17/2011

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I don't think 40 is too old, but for myself i wanted to have all my children by 30 i want to be young and full of energy still when my kids are grown :) not saying that older people cant be full of life im just talking about myself. BUT i think 50's and beyond yea i dont think you should have kids then

Becky - posted on 01/17/2011

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I think that after a woman has gone through menopause, she is too old to have a child. That's what nature says, anyways! Prior to that, if she is able to conceive and carry a pregnancy and feels like she is healthy enough for it, go for it. Some 45 year olds are in better health than some 25 year olds, and most of them are more mature and responsible and ready to parent a child! I don't think we should place any age limitations except those that are placed by nature. I do have a problem with women conceiving using fertility treatments once they are past menopause.

[deleted account]

Law should never mandate when a person can or can't have a baby. I had my last at 31 and for me, personally, I know I'm too old to go through it again, but that doesn't hold true for a LOT of people.

Bonnie - posted on 01/17/2011

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There can be complications for younger women as well. I think as long as a woman truly wants a child at 40, there is nothing wrong with it. Like it was mentioned though, once a woman goes through menopause that's it because you can't have a baby naturally anymore.

Jenn - posted on 01/17/2011

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As long as your body is willing to make a baby, then you're good to go. My Great Grandmother came from a quite large family (13 kids), which was not uncommon years ago. She was the baby of the family and had siblings that were old enough to be her parent, which would have made her own parents probably in their 40's at the very least when she was born.

Tracey - posted on 01/17/2011

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My friend had her first child at 43, her second at 45 and her third at 47. She was very career orientated and didn't want kids when she was younger.
I believe there is an age limit of around 40 for IVF in the UK.

[deleted account]

My co-worker is 41 and will have her first child in March. She is definately a career woman-and even is an adjunct professor at the local university. Career first, marriage, baby second. I will say that she is home on bed rest until her delivery (placenta issues) but that condition could also be common in a 22 year old.

Iris - posted on 01/17/2011

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I think that when you past your menopause it is time to let the baby thing go. Nature is telling you something...
The OP mentioned 40 in her first post. I don't think women in 40's having children should be frowned upon.

Hannah - posted on 01/17/2011

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How old is too old the original poster asks in the headline? Well I was watching a show on TLC once about "older" women who wanted to become mothers. One women in particular was in her early 50's and she had a baby(after years of trying unsuccessfully) but the one story that sticks out in my mind is of a woman in her 70's(Im pretty sure, if not then 60's) who had one baby(who was a toddler) and wanted another. The show talked about how ethically dr's did not want to help her try and conceive for obvious reasons.

Iris - posted on 01/17/2011

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Anyway Monique, I'm sure if you get into the history books you will see that women have been having children from early age into their menopause, they just don't call it menopause in the books ;)

Iris - posted on 01/17/2011

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"but women have been having children young before they started having children at an older age."

That is simply not right. My grandmother had my father at the age of 41 and his brother at the age of 43. They were her only two children. My grandmother on my mother side had her youngest in 1965, she was 40 years old.

No, this isn't something new.



Edit: I know so many people that have parents that were in their 40's when the had them. They might have started in their 20's, but many had children into their 40's... BTW all fine and the parents are great most of the time.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 01/17/2011

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I've thought about that…But it was more normal to have a child at a young age then at an older age…Times have changed and having a child in your teens…is looked down on, for good reason (In many cases)

Its evident that bearing a child either way to young or much older has pros and cons….



And correct me if im wrong, but in some states can you not get your license at the age of 15-16?

Iris - posted on 01/17/2011

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I'm 39 and no I don't think I'm too old to have another one, I just don't want to. I have two and it's good enough for me. I did think about it seriously, if it's the right choice for me and it is, but not because I feel too old. If anyone would try to tell me that I didn't have the right to consider another one because I'm at certain age, well f**k them! It is my body and I do as I see fit with it.

50.. Not there yet so I can't answer that.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 01/17/2011

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So my SIL just had a baby girl at the age of 37 and she had complications…she feels that 40 is to old to have children, she doesn’t think beyond that…

So that is how my confusing question came about….LOL

Personally 40 is not to old…you can still be around for your child granted you have a relatively healthy life, and free of life threatening accidents…
50 is much to old to be getting pregnant and raising a child

Ez - posted on 01/16/2011

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haha.. I should have left it just to see if I got flamed :-p
Seriously, I blame the last of this cold that is hanging around and driving me nuts. My eyes feel like they're going to pop out from the pressure in my head :(

Stifler's - posted on 01/16/2011

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40 is a bit young for that. My mum got pregnant naturally at 42 and my brother is 8 and she's still working. He'll be like 20 by the time she retires if not older!

Jodi - posted on 01/16/2011

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Ok, now that you fixed the question....women over 40 should at LEAST get permission from their husbands to get pregnant, LOL. Other than that, it's no-one else's business. What are they going to do if she gets pregnant without getting "permission" anyway? What's the point if you can't police it?

Johnny - posted on 01/16/2011

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No one should have to ask permission to get pregnant. We have complete and total right to choose what to do with our own bodies. Do I think it is wise? At 40? Not a big deal. I know quite a few 40 year olds in far better health than some 25 year olds I know. At 60? I think it's self-absorbed and dangerous. But if they can conceive naturally, I don't have any right to stop them.

I would argue though, that providing fertility treatment for people who would never in history have been able to conceive naturally no matter what, should be questioned. Plenty of 40 year olds, even 45 year olds conceive naturally. But I'm not sure that there have been cases of naturally occurring pregnancies in 60 year olds. Sort of off topic, sorry. But I think that artificial reproduction is likely to be a point of disagreement in debates about conception.

Ez - posted on 01/16/2011

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Ok I'm confused lol. I said yes to a 40 year old having permission, as in being able to, not yes to a 40 year old needing to GET permission before she can do it.

Meghan - posted on 01/16/2011

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no....woman over 40 shouldn't HAVE to get permission from anyone to get pregnant

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 01/16/2011

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But Mandate also means authorize, consent, go-ahead, permission…I guess I should have just asked “Should women over the age of 40 have permission to get pregnant”

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 01/16/2011

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Yes Sharon I sure did…what do you think..should they???

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