Is a second child affordable?

Hannah - posted on 10/28/2010 ( 55 moms have responded )

175

42

8

I often hear people mention that having a second child is not as expensive as the first and that you already have the majority of the stuff from the first child, which is true to an extent(if you have the same sex second time around, no need to buy more clothes or using gender neutral clothes for the second baby whether it be boy or girl). Also I hear that you are never really ever financially ready to have chrildren(one or more for that matter)...I was just wondering how true this is really and what your thoughts are on the subject..... :)

Hannah

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

"the ones that pay for it themselves work harder, come to class and truly appreciate how expensive it is."

So are you suggesting that someone who has the priveledge of having their education paid for is not appreciative and does not work as hard. Sounds a bit stereotypical to me.

Like I stated before, I never said to go broke to pay for all four years of your child's university education. I just want people to think about it before they have children.

[deleted account]

I agree, Dana. I've just heard people use that line before. My kids will have a college savings, but will be expected to work hard for it.



Edit...since I have a "helpful" (but still can't see it in my alerts) I'm assuming that statement made sense. But I wanted to clarify that my husband and I are setting up the savings for them. They will be expected to have jobs and make good grades, not just blow through the savings we've set up for them.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

55 Comments

View replies by

Stifler's - posted on 11/07/2010

15,141

154

604

Education is free here until you finish and my parents made me pay my own way and I'd do the same for my kids.

Stifler's - posted on 11/07/2010

15,141

154

604

I think you have to take it as it comes, $40 a week is all my baby cost for about 5 months, nappies and formula and people gave me hand me down clothes and gifts. Most people I know spend way too much on their first kid to have a second kid with $1000 worth of presents for Christmas etc. Like good on them or whatever but I'm not into that. My kid is fine and I don't buy him new toys every week and our cot was Damian's cot ffrom when he was born and the bassinett and swing chair are someone elses and I don't care.

Caitlin - posted on 11/06/2010

1,915

5

172

Education costs are definately a concern, because they are always going up. Both my girls had RESPs as soon as they had their social insurance numbers, and I deposit what I can in them each year, which isn't much at the moment, we're catching up on some past debts, but my husband is finishing his bachelors this summer, and will be eligible for more permanent jobs with better pay and better hours.

I don't want my kids to have to go through what I went through. When I finished high school, I got into college in a 3 year program, I was going to be a nurse,but my mom kicked me out of the house for some stupid reason, and I had to make my part time job a full time job to pay for my bills and apartment, so I had to drop out of school. Now, i'm 25 and half way finished my bachelors degree (i'm part time at school, pretty much full time at work with 2 kids at home). My husband also works full time and goes to school full time to finsih his degree up quickly.

What bugs me the most, when I was 16 I was made aware that my mom and dad (when they were together) set up a savings account for my education and my sisters education, and over the years it had grown and my account was 16 000$. Sadly, my mother didn't approve of my career choice, so she bought herself a new car with my money and my sisters money, so we both have to pay our own way through school, my sister who is almost 3 years older still hasn't done any college or university, because she's working just to get by. Needless to say, we will both have a HUGE student loan when we are done, and I don't want my kids having that burden, I plan on making them aware of just how valuable this education is for them, and encourage them to take every oppertunity they can.

On a semi-related note - this is why I opened RESPs for them, and not just regular savings, becasue if somehow someday my husband and I break up for whatever reason, I don't want either of us being able to dip into the bank account we have set up for the kids education. When we earn more, I hope to put in more..

Johnny - posted on 11/06/2010

8,686

26

322

That's fantastic news Dana!!!! I'm so happy to hear that :)

My parents helped to pay for my undergrad degree, and I worked to pay for the rest. But when it was time for me to go back to school for my social work degree, my parent's were spending all the money that they had saved to help pay for my grandmother's care. My husband's parents didn't even think that it mattered that he graduated from high school, let alone went to post-secondary, so they were not at all willing to help him. I am very grateful to my parents for helping me with all that they could. I would have had to move elsewhere for a higher paying job in a place with a lower cost of living if I'd been deeper in debt. I would have had to leave my family & all my friends. I feel very fortunate that I was able to avoid that.

[deleted account]

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'....

LMFAO! Chad said that to me last night and it made me laugh....just thought I'd share. Oh ya, and P.S. Chad got offered a new position at work with more responsibility and a "significant pay raise". YAY US! He starts in 4 weeks. He hasn't even been with this company for 3 months. I'm SO proud of him!

Kinda random -- sorry! ;)

Leah - posted on 11/06/2010

286

20

7

Sara, I actually teared up reading your post and have no idea why :D. Just reading about how well your parents support you and your sister is wonderful and exactly what I hope to accomplish. Imo I think the worst thing to do to a child is spoil them rotten throughout their childhood and then when it comes to paying for education, say "opps sorry, no money", thats just hypocritical. You would have the money if you didn't buy them new toys, electronics and brand name clothes every month and put that couple hundred bucks in the bank. But, again, imo.

[deleted account]

My parents did much like you are doing Leah. We did without, A LOT, in order to save save save. As a result, they were able to pay my sister's and my tuition, buy us new cars, buy new cars for themselves, buy a dream house, pay for a wedding, spoil a grandchild...all with cash and absolutely no debt. I'm proud of them. All this on two modest salaries (and mom stayed home for years!).



But that doesn't mean we are spoiled. Far from it. Christmases and birthdays, while very happy, were scant. We didn't have a lot of "stuff" and wore hand-me-downs and never went out to eat and they drove used vehicles and clipped coupons, etc, etc. We learned the value of a dollar.



Quit frankly it was a shock to learn that I was going to college on their dime and an even bigger shock (like a heart attack shock) that I was getting a new car. And another shock when they told me my wedding budget. The point is, yes they gave me nice things, but only when I was able to truly appreciate those things. And they were happy to do and and proud that they could do it, because of years of previous sacrifice.



My sister is in grad school, works 2 jobs, and maintains a 4.0. She was stressing about rent for next semester because she's doing an unpaid internship. My mom just laughed and said, "Child, all you have to do is ask. We have the money."



My parents raised children that understand and appreciate money, and they were still able to provide past our needs! I want that for my daughter, so I'm trying to emulate how they lived when I was growing up. Sounds like you are of the same mindset. =)

[deleted account]

AND, all THAT aside, the only point I'm trying to make is that not enough people think about how or even if they are planning on paying for an education. Too many people only worry about their immediate situation and haven't truly thought or strategized about how or if they plan to help with their child's education.

Leah - posted on 11/06/2010

286

20

7

In my experience Dana, yes the students that did part for their education themselves, either totally by themselves or part of it, did work harder and came to class every day, as opposed to the people who's parents paid for it and had no idea what it cost. In my experience, those people went out partying (too much), skipped classes and thought class was for socializing not learning. Not trying to stereotype anyone, but that was just my experience. Trying to teach my children the value of a dollar and to truly understand what sacrifices we had to make in order to help them pay for their education is very importent to us. My parents didn't help me pay for any of my post secondary (I don't blame them at all, although I think they could have put at least something aside to help) and having to work full time and go to school full time to pay for it myself, imo, made me more responsible and appreciative. Not saying someone who's parents pay for their education isn't responsible or appreciative but its whatever you can afford and what your point of view is.

Laura - posted on 11/06/2010

698

59

56

My biggest expense for the second was Daycare, diapers and formula. I had a second boy and have no quams about hand me downs. (I buy most of my clothes second hand anyway) and Grandparents and Aunts made sure he had his own clothes too. With #3 coming I'm staying at home. I'm going to use cloth diapers to save money, no daycare, and since I don't have to go back to work and pump I plan on nursing for at least a year if not more. So all of the extra expenses I had with kid 2 i'm not going to with #3 so in my case it's just health expenses. Oh and my sanity. :)

Leah - posted on 11/06/2010

286

20

7

I certainly support trying to help your children with their education as much as possible. Currently we put away money every month for both children, as much as we can comfortably afford (and by that mean not putting $ in the RESP instead of buying groceries etc. We go w/o any kind of luxuries or entertainment in order to put $ in savings). But, like Bonnie said, not being able to pay for a full 4year university tuition, books and residence is not even in our mind set. We are just trying to put enough aside in order to get them started, hopefully have enough to pay for the first year or two tuition and the rest is on them. They will both hopefully have part time jobs when they are teenagers and be putting a certain percentage of their paycheques in the bank (in fact I will make sure of it!) to help pay for their books etc themselves. I don't feel not paying fully for their post secondary is a bad thing. Like I witnessed in college, you could tell who was there on Daddy's dime and who paid for it themselves, the ones that pay for it themselves work harder, come to class and truly appreciate how expensive it is.

[deleted account]

Sorry, I didn't mean you personally should "fret" daily about it. I just meant that more people need to "fret" about it before having children or having ANOTHER child. What kind of life can you provide for your already existing child - and, IMO, that includes opportunities like doing extra curricular activities and aquiring a university education if they choose.



Of course a college or university education isn't necessary for survival but as parents, wouldn't we want to consider EVERYTHING - all aspects of child rearing before having another child? Education is more important than some people than some people want to acknowledge, I guess?!!

Bonnie - posted on 11/06/2010

4,813

22

262

I don't think any parent is wrong when it comes to post secondary education either. The parents can pay nothing, half of it, or all of it, It doesn't really matter and it doesn't make anyone more or less of a parent because of it.

Bonnie - posted on 11/06/2010

4,813

22

262

Dana, I understand what you are saying. Still don't think there is a need to fret over it. Parents should do what they can. Yes it is important in life, but you don't need college or university to survive. Going to college or university is a choice. Whether or not you want to pay for every single dollars worth of post secondary education is a personal choice. Where I am education is not even close to as expensive as in the U.S. and we are hoping our children will go to school in our city, so that is saving money there.

[deleted account]

EXACTLY, Carol - I was working at my parents farm EVERY day, 12 hours a day, of EVERY summer until I graduated.....I used my own money to buy my own car etc. and I helped pay for my education but...



Parents NEED to help! They NEED to plan for their children's education. We have a considerable amount already set aside in an RESP for Roxanne and we've worked extremely hard to do that. The money comes with stipulations - nothing is free!

Johnny - posted on 11/06/2010

8,686

26

322

If my husband and I had not owed so much in student loans, we would likely own our own home by now and I probably would not have had to give up my dream career for a better paying job. We have set up an RESP and are doing are best to ensure that she has enough to get started in life without that burden. That does not mean that we will be handing everything to her on a silver platter. Good grades, hard work, and holding down a job will be required for her to get the money.

[deleted account]

Bonnie, no offense to you and your husband, but, I do think you should "fret". I think an education is HUGELY important and while I don't expect people to lose their homes, or claim bankruptcy just to put a child through school, I DO think more people need to plan ahead and think about these types of things when have children/multiple children. It's not just about the immediate situation, people - their futures are equally as important as putting food on the table and buying diapers. They become adults one day!

[deleted account]

"Shouldn't they be responsible for their own education? Get a job and a loan!"

And this is exactly why so many young adults have serious financial problems and are bankrupt before the age of 24! My husband got student loans, and worked at a retail store. However, when he did not make enough to pay off the loans, he eventually had to quit and work full time. Then the bill collectrs were calling. He never finished college, due to work. He had shitty credit by age 24 and I had to sign for everything for him even though we were only engaged. I wasn't about to start a marriage in debt, so I took over the financial aspect of his student loans, with absolutley nothing to show for it. As a parent, I refuse to set my son up for failure the way my in-laws did for my husband. Don't get me wrong, I truly adore my in-laws and have nothing against them. But, they were truly hard blue-collar workers who simply could not afford to put money aside for their children's education, and lived paycheck to paycheck. So if I set aside some kind of educational fund fo rmy son, even if it is for local communtiy college then that will help defray the cost later on.

Bonnie - posted on 11/06/2010

4,813

22

262

Dana, certainly nothing wrong with wanting to pay for your child's college or university education. I grew up not having that luxury and had to end up getting a loan. There are many parents out there that their only option in their mind is to pay for their children's education. My husband wants to pay for our children's education and although I am fine with it, I keep telling him that we don't have to go broke because of it. We don't have to go out of our way to pay for it. His parents never paid for his, but his grandparents did. Right now we have an RESP set up for both our children, but if we can't get around for paying ALL of it, I don't think we should fret.

[deleted account]

Could I afford another one right now? I'm sure I could make things work. Soem things I would buy second hand, some items I would only buy new. But the fact is that I can happily afford one child without having to sacrifice anything, and still make my loan payments and mortgage on timewith extra to the principal. I think a second child is financially doable, even if I did have to start all over again with every infant item. But, there would be a lot more to sacrifice, and quite frankly I am not willing to give up certain lifestyle luxuries for the sake of having a second baby. One reason I am happy and content with my small family :-)

[deleted account]

You bring up another great point, Carol - life experiences and extra curicular activities are extremely important and they're bloody expensive. As it is right now, we would like to put Roxanne in preschool next year for a couple days, a couple hours a week and we can't afford it.

Forgive me, but is it wrong to want to pay for my child's post secondary education? We don't want to put ourselves in debt over it so we're planning and saving NOW so that shouldn't be a problem. We all know how important an education is and I'm not sure why, if you can avoid it, you would WANT your child to have to find the means to do that alone?

Johnny - posted on 11/06/2010

8,686

26

322

One of the considerations for us when thinking about having another child is if we can afford to provide the non-school based experiences that we want to give our kids.



We have a big enough house, and a big enough car to have another. We have the furniture, the clothes (I've got a whole box of boy hand-me-downs that I didn't use), and since we use cloth, we don't even have to worry about buying diapers. Until the child needed to go to daycare, a second one would be minimal costs for us. However, we do not want our kids close together, so by the time our 2nd would be in daycare, the 1st would already be in school, so the daycare costs would stay about the same. Although, if my husband & daughter's eating habits are any indication, I might have to start a grow-op just to pay for all the food for 3 of them.



We both want our kid to experience any of the out-of-school classes and activities that they choose. We want them to be able to take a dance class or learn sailing or whatever. That stuff is super expensive and we were concerned about affording it for 2. We also want to be able to travel and go on vacation, that is more expensive with 2 as well.



Then there is the big thing, education, which Dana mentioned. Having had our lives significantly burdened & negatively effected by student loans, we wish to attempt to pay for most of their post-secondary schooling. They will be expected to work to get that money, but there is no way a part-time job will ever come even close to paying a smidgeon of those costs. We're waiting to see where we are in a year or so, then we'll decide if another child is going to be the right fit for our family.

[deleted account]

Nope! If we can prevent our child from having to pay for her own education, we will! That doesn't mean she won't understand the value of a dollar or have to work hard for the things she has/gets. Nothing will just be handed to her but....

[deleted account]

Dana, playing devil's advocate here.

Shouldn't they be responsible for their own education? Get a job and a loan!

[deleted account]

I haven't read most of the other posts. Sorry!

While there might be some initial financial breaks to having multiple children, OF COURSE more children = more money. We've considered the cost of education. I want my child/children to have options and be able to get the education they need/want/deserve and I don't think enough people consider this when having multiple children. It's EXPENSIVE to raise children and put them through a post secondary education.

Leah - posted on 11/06/2010

286

20

7

I loved reading everyones responses and view points. We didn't feel the financial pressure with our second like we did with our first, not because we reused alot of stuff, only a few big pieces of furniture (crib, exersaucer, some toys and thats it). We bought all new clothes, new double stroller, new carseat and all the accesories! It's probably b/c we KNEW what we would need for a baby and weren't so ignorant like we were with our first. And we also started collecting stuff from the time we found out we were expecting instead of leaving it to the end. As for it being less expensive, thats debatable, but we were more organized and it for sure lessened the money crunch.

We are currently contemplating having a third. To be honest this is the one pregnancy we are actually putting alot of thought into! :D For our first two, there was no question in our minds. But having a third is difficult to decide. First of all we only have a three bedroom house, so if we have a third, two of the kids would have to share a room or we would have to finish the basement and put a bedroom down there. And then theres the question of 'who' would sleep in the basement. If we put our oldest down there, I feel like its saying 'Haha, you've been banished to the basement because of this baby! MUHAHA". Which is weird. And if me and my husband moved down there, I don't like being that far away from the kids in case they wake up while sleeping.

And the other issue is we only have a mid sized sedan and three carseats are NOT fitting in it! So we would have to get a van or extended SUV and that add's an additional expense. Of course on the plus side, we would be bringing adding another member to our family to be loved and cared for unconditionally.

Things to consider....

[deleted account]

I think it is not so much the initial layout of $$ for baby necessities that makes more than one child more expensive, but the ongoing cost of raising the children over time (school fees, clothing, food, extra-curricular activities etc). As for being financially ready to have children, I can only speak for my own situation. We waited until we were in a financially stable situation before we made the decision to start a family. We didn't have x amount of money saved, but it was important to us that I had finished my degree and had a career that I could always depend on and develop further, that my partner also had financial security, that we had a house that we owned and could afford to maintain, things like that. We knew that things change and wanted to feel confident in our ability to roll with the punches that life threw us without compromising our own and our children's security too much.

[deleted account]

I think it depends on a lot of factors, whether the second is cheaper or more expensive than the first. If the second came pretty fast after the first and you have two under the age of two, then you need another nursery furniture set. Also, if the second is a different gender, you're probably also needing new clothes. Here, daycare is per hour, per child and you don't get a discount on subsequent children so another child means double the daycare payments. But just because a second child means more expenses doesn't mean it's not affordable. My parents had three and they weren't rich and we weren't brought up in poverty. Never wanted anything, always had enough and proper clothes, always had enough and proper food, AND we went to private school. So yeah its affordable (but of course it always depends on circumstances and how much disposable income you're willing to give up).

Sal - posted on 11/06/2010

1,816

16

34

the biggest expense we had with no 3 (like someone else mentioned earlier with a big gap no.2 if almost like another 1st) was we genuinly needed a new car as the 3 kids physically didn;t fit anymore, so she was kinda expensive in that way...

Sal - posted on 11/06/2010

1,816

16

34

i have never thought of finaces and how many babies to have at the same time...if you have 1 it will be expensive if you have 2 it will be expensive if you have 3 it will be expensive, if you have 5 it will be expensive but you will manage finacially, it is a heart type decision not a money type one....and it is amazing what you spend money on and what no longer seems important once the "extra" money is gone.....

Amanda - posted on 11/05/2010

668

16

37

I am new to the website and I don't think that you are ever ready for a child financially, mentally or physically! And in a way it is true that you do have most of the expenses covered for the 2nd child but what about the hospital bill or if that child has health concerns! I don't think you are ever financially ready but after one it gets easier! And than from then on it only gets easier! yOu get yourself in a routine and you find it only easier financially to budget money on a bigger family! But thats just my opinion!

Hannah - posted on 10/28/2010

175

42

8

Wow, lots of great responses ladies :) different opinions right across the board ;)

I really think it just depends on the families income. For example, my hubby has a job where unfortunatly he will never get a raise :( And in this economy it is expensive enough as it is! That means that with the cost of living increasing EVERY year, we will never get ahead with two children, I can almost gaurantee it! Now if he was able to find something that was higher paying and had YEARLY pay increases then I definatly think it would be doable. I just dont think that its very fair to any child to deprive them of their wants and needs just because we as parents want more children. Its no longer about us, our son comes first!! Hubby and I right now are leaning towards only having one at the moment...the way we see it is that we would rather be able to give our son everything he needs than having to scrounge for money to buy this or that....That's not living in my opinion ;)

Charlie - posted on 10/28/2010

11,203

111

409

Well my second was the same gender as the first so initial costs of big ticket items were already paid for and our oldest was no longer using them , we will also never have to buy clothes for our second , we dont have to worry about healthcare in Australia .

A lot of my friends say " oh i have to be financially stable before i have a kid "

I believe if you are waiting for a magic number in your bank account you're bank account you will be waiting forever the fact is when you have kids your financial priorities change , your spending habits curb to meet your families needs .

Jessica - posted on 10/28/2010

986

20

64

I guess I should clarify my thoughts- though I don't think you can ever be TOTALLY ready for any amount of children, there are certainly situations where you can be less ready than others, and should probably hold off. There's a difference between say, still living with your parents, working only part time and unable to afford food or a car etc, and having to look through your finances and rebudget in order to save money for a child. Obviously in the first situation, you need to get yourself in order before you should (responsibly) have kids. But the latter situation is a category that I think a lot of people fall into- you can make it affordable, you just have to make sacrifices.

I think we will be ok with 2 children for now, but we are going to wait to have any more until we're more financially stable.

[deleted account]

When we got married people started asking us the most annoying, "So when are you gonna have kids?" Our reply was usually something along the lines of being financially stable. And the most common comeback was, "Well then you'll never be ready." Drove me crazy. We were both in school and living in his parents' home with his brother (his parents don't currently live there, they work out of state). We were NOT financially ready.

When we were both done with school, and living in our own place (sort of, it was another family home, still rent free because we agreed to take care of the property) we decided that we were ready. At that point we were not rolling in the dough, but I had worked for a year (and all the money went towards my husband's education or the down payment on our current home) and my husband had found a job that would support the family so I could stay home. That is a MUCH different situation than when we were first married.

So my point (which I think from scanning the other posts is the same post some others of made) is that you can raise a child without a ton of money, but you need SOME stability in your income and living situation.

About the second child, I don't know yet. He's not here yet (or she, don't know). But I would imagine that he or she will be just as expensive as the first. He still needs diapers and food, correct? With my first I didn't spend a ton on gear, furniture, and clothes, most were given to me or I bought it on sale or second hand. Diapers and food were what caused us to adjust our budget the most.

Jenn - posted on 10/28/2010

2,683

36

96

Yep, I'm in Canada too so health care isn't a concern. And like someone else said, college/university is cheaper here and go ahead and call me a bad Mom if you want, but I don't see what's so horrible if I don't have their college education totally paid for. I paid for my college all on my own! And ALL of my kids wear hand-me-downs. If it weren't for that, they'd have a very limited selection of clothing!! That doesn't mean they wear stained gross clothes though - it's called laundry - wash it and properly remove stains. They do also get some new clothes as gifts at Christmas and birthdays etc. I did not use formula with my kids so that wasn't an issue. Grocery bills will go up some, but you don't need a whole extra roast because of one kid - just an extra potato and some veggies. Most people toss out a lot of unused food anyway, so now you have someone to eat the extra ;)

Krista - posted on 10/28/2010

12,562

16

847

I think most of us never feel 100% financially ready to have kids. But, as Sharon stated, we shouldn't be having them if we have NO idea how we're going to feed and clothe them.

I think all we can do is plan the best that we can, try to get ourselves to a point where we feel about 75% ready, and then take that leap of faith.

For us, I don't anticipate a second child being much more expensive, as we're not aiming for a huge age difference between our kids, so things like car seats will still be valid. We got so many items of clothing as gifts for Sam that some of them still have the tags on them. My mom buys all the diapers anyway (not because we can't afford them, but she just likes helping us out, so who am I to argue when she shows up with two crates of Pampers?) Medical insurance won't be an issue, as I'm in Canada, and I'm already registered for "family" coverage on my work's private plan. So other than groceries and daycare, and barring any special needs, I can't see a huge leap in our expenses.

Caitlin - posted on 10/28/2010

1,915

5

172

Serena - sadly I couldn't take advantage of most no name brands. My daughter needed special formula because of her allergies (special food for that matter too) and the no name brand diapers gave her a horrible rash, but I also have a full room of stuff downstairs, full of space bagged clothes and boxed toys and stacks of books. Since my youngest is still only 8 months, most of the big stuff like the exersaucer/high chair and playmat are all still up here, I can't wait till it's all banished to that room for a while, unless my husband gives in to my will for #3...

Caitlin - posted on 10/28/2010

1,915

5

172

Well, I guess this all depends on where you live again. I don't pay more for health insurance because I have kids (in canada). The work insurance that pays for glasses/medications is separated by single or family (meaning 2 adults and possibly any kids under their care). I bought neutral colours for my first, but still ended up buying a lot of new clothes for my second. Considering even my first was in a lto fo hand me downs, I don't see how i'm doing a bad thing making either of them were hand me downs (as long as they are in good condition). My first looked really good in purple and blue.. my second looks much better in reds and yellows, so I prefer to get them clothes that highlight their hair colours and complexion (my first was much more pale than my second and yellow made my first look jaundice).

The problem with the nobody is ever financially ready to have kids is that in our society, when income goes up, so do our expenses because we order more tv channels, get a nicer or newer car, buy more clothes and such, and that is why only when you HAVE kids will you cut back for them (hopefully - I know a few that just don't care).

I'd love to have a third, the college fund isn't a big deal, I have 18 years at least to contribute to it, and school isn't nearly as expensive up here, and the kids being older, they wont need diapers, formula, bottles or new clothes every 3 months (or less) when they outgrow what they have!

Serena - posted on 10/28/2010

453

10

55

When it comes to material things like clothes and things, maybe. If you have them close together and are a pack rat (like me)...now termed "hoarder" LOL, you have plenty of clothes to reuse. But in terms of formula, diapers, etc no its the same as before, especially when you have them both in diapers at the same time. I mean its always going to become more expensive as you have more children.

But I will say that I did save money with my second and third child by avoiding the name brands I once believed my children needed. I will proudly admit that we use the store brand formula and diapers because its the same thing (formula is actually regulated to have the same amount of vitamins across the board). I think that comes with being a parent...

Sharon - posted on 10/28/2010

11,585

12

1315

I didn't find it very true - especially as my kids were years apart.

The massive safety top rated car seat we had for infants was outdated, so was the toddler seat $$$'s gone but well spent on the safety of our son.

Bassinette - was lost - I think I loaned it to someone and never got it back.

I just culd not bring myself to use the stained onsies. And all of them were stained. Either at the neckline or the ass. lol.

My firstborn got all brand new stuff, how was my second child less deserving? "here hunny, you were second and second is what you'll always be." ?? WTF? really? No, I couldn't do that. I don't make him wear hand me downs even now. He isn't my "middle child" he's my younger son.

My first born was a baldie, so to help show he was a boy, I dressed him in blue's.

That seemed to be his signature color as he grew up, to this day, given a choice of colors, he picks blue. So with my younger son being born 4 yrs later - we were kind of stuck, we wanted him to be different from his brother, his color was green. My daughter was of course, pink.

It is NOT cheaper to have a second child.

Now there is a second college fund to keep up. Another child on the life insurance policy. Some health care insurance goes up when you add a second or third kid.

Everyone bitches that no one is financially ready to have a kid. Um. I beg to differ. Maybe if that little saying weren't so readily bandied about - so many people wouldn't crank kids with the INTENT to live with the assistance of welfare. (thinking of the brat I work with. She works part time, (15 hours a week @minimum wage, her husband has no job, he gives her STDs and she's going to have a second kid with him. what the friggen fuck??? )

Bonnie - posted on 10/28/2010

4,813

22

262

I agree with Alison to an extent. Yes, as they grow up there are other needs with them, but really, by the time they are out of diapers and formula (if you go that route), you are saving that money and be putting it towards extra food or things for school, etc.

Caitlin - posted on 10/28/2010

1,915

5

172

I;m trying to convince my husband that a third wouldn't be that much more expensive than the first. Our first costs us a lot, because she has lots of medications she needs, and I think he's convinced these problems will pop up with #2 soon as well, but I hope not. You're never really prepared for one, two three or etc... When I look at all the girls have, I know that we can afford a third, we have a large collection of DVDs, toy boxes stuffed with crap and even more downstairs. When they get older it's a different story of course, because then there are activities and such, but considering the assistance I get from the government, I think i'd be better off with the 3 kids honestly!

Bonnie - posted on 10/28/2010

4,813

22

262

Having a second is not really that much more than having one. You still have the big items (most expensive items), like the crib, change table, high chair, playpen, and baby and toddler toys. It is true. No one will ever truly be financially ready to have another baby unless you win the lottery. So if you keep waiting until you have more money, you could be waiting until you can no longer have any more kids. Not only that, but you could be financially ready now, but in a year's time when the baby is here, have problems. It doesn't matter either way in my opinion. It's not how much money you have or what you can buy your children, it's the love and smiles that does it for me. This is what I keep telling my husband. I really want one more baby. We have two kids right now. He keeps putting it off. The next time I talk with him about it will probably be sometime early next year. This will be his last chance.

[deleted account]

Not for us. We got rid of most of our stuff and we'd have to start from scratch. Plus they don't stay little forever. Family days out, food and other stuff cost more with each child.

Jessica - posted on 10/28/2010

986

20

64

I agree, I don't think its ever truly "affordable" because things always come up. Unfortunately its a reality for most people these days to struggle at least a little bit. The debt from car loans, mortgages, student loans and credit cards can easily add up quickly, and when you add in job instability its like a total game of chance. I am pregnant with my second child and we've hit a rough patch because my husband got laid off from his job (the company wasn't doing well); he has since found a new job but they don't offer insurance. So we're stuck trying to make ends meet and having to apply for medical assistance- through no fault of our own, just because shit like this comes up! But overall we're doing ok and you do find a way to make it work.

Jenn - posted on 10/28/2010

2,683

36

96

Well, seeing as I went from 1 to 3 and I found out I was pregnant within 2 weeks of Brian losing his job, I'd say yes, it is affordable. You find ways to make it work. We both sacrifice ourselves so that we can provide for our kids, going without haircuts, clothes, nights out, etc. Now, if he hadn't lost his job, we'd be living life and loving it! But he did, and we lived off of credit for a while until he found a job again. So now we're still playing catch-up. We're working hard to get the extra debt paid off and once that happens, and now that he's got a substantial raise, then we'll be able to provide more - like clothes for ourselves, day trips with the kids, a vehicle for me, camping in the summer, etc. But in the meantime, it is what it is, and the kids don't know the difference. Part of me almost likes it this way too, because my kids don't get spoiled with toys all the time or whatever they want, they don't expect anything. A few weeks ago when we were out shopping, we saw some Christmas stuff so I asked my son what he would like Santa to bring this year. His reply - "whatever he brings me". :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms