is it possible to watch your child 100% of the time?

Rosie - posted on 05/25/2011 ( 135 moms have responded )

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so this was brought up in another thread that i'm sure i just derailed, so i'll start a new one, lol. i think its completely impossible to watch your child all the time, think it's a ridiculous expectation for someone to think they CAN do, and also believe your child needs some time to themselves to learn how to explore their world without you dictating and hovering around them. what do you think? is it possible, and is it a good thing?

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Mary - posted on 05/25/2011

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Ms. Cheese, I hear what you're saying, and no, even with my one child, I cannot possibly have my eyes on her 24/7 - nor does she need me too. I freely admit that I turn on the TV in the am when I need a shower; I refuse to get up at the butt crack of dawn to shower before she wakes, so for about 10 minutes, I have to trust (and hope) that she doesn't do something disastrous. However, I can hear her scream, and she does know exactly where I am. The other day, she went downstairs, got a banana off the shelf, and brought it to me in the shower to "open" for her! I should note, that the dead bolt to the door is locked (key out), and the dogs are shut down in the basement, more for their protection than hers!

In the other thread, that father was on the fucking roof. I think, if your toddler can get out of the house, and wander to a neighbor's yard, and be mauled by a dog without you realizing it...well, THAT is negligent.

Sharon - posted on 05/26/2011

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No you can't.

So you're unloading your weekly grocery shopping trip. The 2 yr old toddler is following you into the house, you've got another baby by the hand, arm full of groceries and you're calling her along. Her dad is at the gate pulling more groceries out of the car. she's between you and her father and inside the yard.

You kick open the front door and push the baby towards some toys while you drop the bags in the kitchen entry way and head back outside.

Once outside you look for the 2yr old. Her dad looks confused. Well, she can't have gotten back out the gate, her dad was right there. She's not in the house. She's not in the yard.

And FYI "checking the house & yard" is NOT a 30 second scope out. It takes a couple of minutes to look under every bed, in every closet, each bathroom, the laundry room, under the desk, behind each couch, behind the drapes, etc.

The "yard" is a full acre filled with dogs, hay bales, aviaries and small pens. She could behind any one thing or inside any thing.

Even still One adult is searching the house & yard and the other is sprinting down the road.

We live on a cross roads. Which of the 4 directions did she go? Is she on the road? or did she just strike out across the properties?

It turns out, she scaled a "no climb 6 ft horse fence" section to get out of the yard. Not even a gate. Headed out across the desert in BARE FEET.

WHO KNEW????

She wasn't out of sight for even 2 minutes but because we didn't check the "safest" portion of the yard first - she continued to make her escape over the ensuing minutes. She was off to see our neighbors' horses. She REALLY loved horsies.

Then there are the times you're asleep.

We wound up locking our door with a key from the inside so my oldest escape artist couldn't drag a dining chair, his tiny step stool and a phone book, to the front door to open the dead bolt and CHAIN while his pregnant, barfing, 100% of the time nauseated mother took a nap.

My husband also tossed out all the dining room chairs for good measure. Oh and the barstools. I never took another nap without another AWAKE adult in the house. you know what that did? It left me MORE sick & exhausted & depressed beyond belief.

Anyone who claims they keep an eye on their kid 98% of the time is full of shit.

they sleep.

they cook.

they get constipated.

They get nauseated.

ANd if they've got more than one kid, they're 100% lying.

Try bandaging the bleeding shin of one child while he kicks screams & crys and KEEP an eye on the other child.

Rosie - posted on 05/26/2011

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one could say that's irresponsible parenting as well. people can't function normally without sleep.

Becky - posted on 05/28/2011

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Maybe you can, but I don't think you should. Maybe I'm a bad mom, but I don't even try to watch my kids 100% of the time. I shower during the day while my kids are up. Sometimes they hang out in the bathroom with me, but often, they'll come downstairs to play. (They're 3 and 1 1/2 btw) I let them go down to play in the basement on their own or upstairs to play in their rooms by themselves. Of course I'm listening for them and I go check on them if it's too quiet for too long or if I hear screaming or crying. I do my laundry (on the main floor) or other housework while they're playing. I even (gasp!) leave the house for a minute to take out the recycling or garbage or to grab something from the truck. Although usually when I do that, they stand at the door and watch for me to come back, so I know where they are. We do have our house reasonably childproofed, although not overly so. But we also teach our kids about safety very early. Even the 1 year old knows to stay back when I'm opening the oven door or taking a pot off the stove. He knows it's hot hot. They also know not to go near the fireplace if it's on. (although we'd never leave them in the room unsupervised with the fireplace on.) Cole knows to stay away from roads. In fact, if we're outside in the front and Zach is heading towards the road (or is even in the driveway), Cole freaks out and tells me to go get Zach please! He's very protective! We don't have a chain or latch on the door. I do keep them locked, although Cole could probably get them open if he wanted to. Neither of our kids have ever tried to escape, so I haven't worried too much about it. We do have 2 hazards in the house that freak me out - corded blinds, which we are in the process of getting rid of because I hate them, and an open to below on the second floor that I wish we could do something about because it freaks me out. So far, neither of the kids have tried to climb it, but they're daredevil boys, so I'm afraid it's just a matter of time. And they do throw things over it. Cole threw a weight over (actaully under the railing) and broke the tile floor below. Thank god it was the tile floor and not his brother's head!
My kids have never actually gotten injured, that I can recall, while I was not watching them. Every injury has been while we were a few feet away! Our only injury-related ER visit was when Cole was about 9/10 months old. He was in his crib and my husband was in his room, maybe a foot away from him, with his back turned, cleaning up his books or something. Cole somehow fell out of his crib. He seemed fine, but being paranoid first time parents, we took him to the ER just to make sure. He was fine and the doctors were very understanding. Granted, that one was our fault, not for lack of supervision, but because he could pull up and we hadn't lowered the crib to the lowest setting yet. I'd been bugging my husband to do it... needless to say, it was done that night! Cole is accident prone though. He's fallen down the stairs at least 3 times - always when I was just a few feet away - fallen out of his highchair, punctured his head crawling under our recliner... I count my lucky stars he's never had stitches or a broken bone yet!

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Casey - posted on 05/29/2011

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no you can't watch your child 100% of the time well I know I can't, I have a very very active two and a half year old son and his always up to no good lol, I try to supervise him as much as I possibly can but I know I can't watch him 100% of the time I also have a 2 week old baby so sometimes I get caught up with him and that means that my 2 year old has to fend for himself, I recently asked a question about my sons behaviour (he can do really naughty things like drawing on the walls or smashing eggs on the carpet) and I was absolutely slammed by a couple of mums and they made me feel so incompetent they basically accused me of not watching him at all and told me that it was my fault for not supervising him 100% of the time because that is what you have to do when you have kids they even told me that I shouldn't shower because then I would have to leave him alone, I felt awful about it all but I after talking to other mums I have realised that no-one can watch them constantly. I think when they are really little and just starting to crawl or walk it is important to keep them contained in an area where they can't hurt themselves but when they get a little bit older and thats no longer an option you just have to set boundaries and rules early on and keep re-enforcing them. I totally agree with you too that children need to learn and explore without having us hovering over them all the time and they also have to learn self control and logical thinking too.

Micha - posted on 05/28/2011

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When you're awake, yes it is possible. It's rather inconvenient AND it doesn't teach your child to be self sufficient, but you can do it.

I think children NEED to be left unattended for that reason alone. I, for one, want to see my son grow up and take care of himself (and hopefully a family of his own!). It shows that I did my job well! If I'm constantly around him, doing everything for him, he will never be able to do that.

Rose - posted on 05/28/2011

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I don't watch my kids all the time they have their own room for playing so they go in there and play alot but i do check on them once in a while. Beside when are going to cut the umbilical cord? Just saying.

Stephanie - posted on 05/28/2011

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call me a bad mom all you want but my daughter has time to herself when she plays, I personally feel if you watch your child 100% of the time your just a little paranoid! expecially if its in your own home!! now out in public yeah I don't let her out of my sight! I haven't read the other responses just for the sake of I'm not responding to what they have said but to what the original post was!

Emma - posted on 05/28/2011

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I've been really lucky...no trips to A and E for accidents. My 4 yr old is always falling and hurting himself but has always seemed to avoid serious injuries. On the other hand I cannot count the amount of times I have sat with him in A and E for medical problems, i.e. asthma attacks!

Hollie - posted on 05/27/2011

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no but if you know your going to the bathroom and you have a little one to prevent injury take your baby with you if you are going to spend lengthy time shower , bathroom etc...

ME - posted on 05/27/2011

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No...not possible...Mine get in trouble in the 20 seconds it takes me to walk across the room and toss a dirty diaper or grab one of them a snack or a drink...I can't be in three places at once...tho, I'll admit to trying at times...I know that eventually they will get seriously injured...I just would prefer it to be after they move out on their own...

[deleted account]

Well.... the last time we were in the ER I spent about 2 hours (til my friend got there to help) trying to stay w/ a barely conscious 8 year old while trying to keep another 8 year old and a 2 year old entertained and out of trouble, so..... I'll skip the ER ANY time I can avoid it.... lol

Sal - posted on 05/27/2011

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oh theresa only 2 er visits in 9.5 years...when do you get all your trashy mags read???? i took my son recently after a bike fall, he was all ok too, sitting there in the er, no little ones with me, just patiently waiting, i got a whole hot cuppa, read 4 recent mags, got all my appointment memo'd into my phone so i wouldn;t forget any, wrote my shopping list and called a freind who i'd been menaing to call but never seem to find the time, it was wonderful, if they would just get someone to come around and do eye brow waxes i'd take one of the kids weekly just for the me time....lol

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Gorgonzola, Your youngest and my middle boy sound the same. Right now he is walking around the house with a box on his head :s Pretty sure this isn't going to end well.
Besides his fractured skull he has also split his cheek open on the soap holder in the bath while i was right there, trip to hospital and glue. He then a couple of months after that split above the same eye open yep more glue. Along with the febrile convulsions and running into poles because the kids just doesn't watch where he is going i'm actually surprised we haven't been to the er with him more often.

[deleted account]

Since we're sharing stories of things our kids have done under supervision.....



At 1.5 the girls were playing in their room. It was too quiet, so my ex and I went to check on them. One had climbed up in the rocking chair and climbed up the window and was about to touch the ceiling.... A month before turning 3 they were climbing the tree off my dad's back porch w/ my ex and I out on the porch. I went inside while my ex was still out there. He came in and I told him he'd better get back out and watch them.... Not even a minute had passed and the same 'wall climber' was on the roof!



A couple of weeks ago my kids were on the swings at church. My son was in one swing, the swing next to him had another kid, the swing next to that had one of his sisters. I was standing nearby watching. My son fell off the swing and started to walk to his sister to get comforted.... Yep, right in front of the other kid and got pummelled to the ground. The whole time I was going towards him and yelling at him to stop walking!



See.... it's LUCK that has only had us in the ER twice in 9.5 years. lol

Tina - posted on 05/27/2011

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I don't believe you can watch your child every second of every day. You would never have a life or get anything else done. I do try to always at least keep my kids in the same room with me unless they are sleeping. They are 3, 1, and 2 months. Really the only time they are alone and awake is if I run to the basement to throw in some laundry. That would be crazy to gather all three of them up and take them downstairs for me to be down there less than 5 minutes, then bring them all back up. And accidents happen reguardless of whether you are watching or not. There have been many times my older two (since the youngest doesn't do anything yet, lol) have gotten hurt while I am right with them. Unless you can predict the future, you can't keep your kids safe from everything. All you can do is keep them as safe as you can and use good judgement.

Rosie - posted on 05/27/2011

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i've been to the ER to many times, i dont' remember how many, lol.lets see if i can remember all these. all of these incidences happened right in front of me or while they were supposed to be napping.
lucas at 4 has been 2 times. once he grabbed my curling iron and the second time he climbed on his dresser (he was supposed to be napping) and it fell on him along with the tv.
grant is 11 and i can only remember once. he was a little over a year old and it was 4th of july. he was in his stroller, and he stood up, i went to grab him to make sure he sat back down and he toppled out and hit his head.
vinnie is 6 and is my little accident man. when he was 1 my husband was holding him and some kid came up behind my hubby and kinda took his knees out from under him. it was slippery (we were at a water park) and chad dropped him. his head was bleeding profusely. he got 3 staples in his head. second time we were christmas shopping in the mall. vinnie likes to push the handicap door opener so he ran for it and darted in front of a bigger lady who basically trampled him and pushed him into the wall, splitting his eyebrow open. he got glued back together that time. 3rd time just happened recently, he was at school and tripped and fell and split the bridge of his nose open. he got glued once again.
i feel like i'm missing more, lol. maybe thats it?

Bonnie - posted on 05/27/2011

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I don't know, when it comes to my husband and/or myself unloading bags of groceries, etc. out of the van, we always either bring the kids in the house first or bring the stuff in, then the kids. Makes it a lot easier IMO.

Veronica - posted on 05/27/2011

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I have a real scenerio that was of bad parenting - the lady was on drugs (i think crystal meth) - she decided that it was more important to watch her soap opera's instead of her now 2 year old son - so she put him out back by his dad. Sounds responsible that she put him by his dad - but see, she didn't tell him that she was putting him in the yard by him -- so he didnt know his son was outside by him - until he found him facedown in the hottub. (he and his dad had been working on stuff - and didnt see that the little boy was outside).
They were able to revive him, but the damage had been done - and the boy was a vegetable -- he lived til about 10 or 11 - in a wheel chair, with a feeding tube -- couldnt talk, drooled a lot, couldn't function much - was just a vegetable really. Thankfully the Lord finally took him one night in his sleep.
NOW this is negligent parenting -- this was my 2nd cousin -- we are still upset by the whole thing -- THIS didnt have to happen - all because of one selfish parent who was not only induced with drugs - but decided her tv show was more important. Even still - she couldn't even at least tell her at the time husband that she sent their son outside; or she knew her husband was busy - she could have kept her son near her, instead. -- so many things that could have prevented this from happenning -- very very very tragic.

Jenn - posted on 05/27/2011

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Laurabeth, I'm pretty sure I realized you were replying to Gorgie, I was just throwing in my 2 cents. :P And yes - you need sleep woman! Not getting enough sleep can actually shorten your lifespan!

Emma - posted on 05/27/2011

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I just read the other thread...OMG...I can't believe it. Not only did the child leave the house...he left the whole property line and went next door and the parents had no idea because they were no where in sight! Im in disbelief.
I do not feel it is reasonable to watch your child all the time, however I feel it is essential that parents keep their child safe! I go to the kitchen and cook or wash up while the kids are upstairs, I go upstairs and clean the bathroom while they are downstairs, etc... However when I go upstairs I always chain the front door and lock the back so they cannot get out. If they are in the garden and I am inside I always chain the backgate so they cannot get out, etc... I am always close enough to them that if something happens I will hear them and I can run to them. I would never start a job that I cannot easily leave unless another adult is in the house with me in case of an emergency with the children. That story has left me gob smacked!

Sneaky - posted on 05/27/2011

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The first time my eldest went to the ER was because I had accidentally closed a door on her finger. Yes, I was right there watching and still could not stop the door closing in the microsecond it took for her to slide her hand into the door jam.

Accidents happen. And no, you can't not watch them 100% of the time - why would you want to?

Rosie - posted on 05/27/2011

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laurabeth i was simply trying to show you that ones perception of irresponsible parenting differs from others. i wasn't saying YOU were being irresponsible.
however if you think i MUST show you the way, i would advise getting more sleep, lol. running yourself ragged isn't going to do anyone good in the long run, especially YOURSELF. which your kids probably like quite a bit, so take care of their mommy. :)

Jodi - posted on 05/27/2011

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My only emergency room trip with one of the kids was when my son was about 4. I left him playing in the bath while I quickly went to check on dinner. I was a single working mum at the time, and trying to juggle bathtime, dinnertime and bedtime between 6pm and 7:30pm (his bedtime) was a real juggle. Anyway, I could hear him, just not see him, and he sounds like he was playing happily....until I hear him scream "Kamikaze" and I heard a huge thump and a scream. Holy shit, I tell you, I absolutely freaked, I've never moved so fast in my life.

He'd cracked his head on the bath tiles. What he'd done was climb up on the ledge and decided to jump in the bath (I have NO idea WHAT he was thinking). He slipped and fell. That head wound would NOT stop bleeding. He ended up with it glued in the emergency room. It wasn't as bad as it looked (you know, head wounds and blood). He still has a small scar.

It just simply isn't possible to watch them 100% of the time. Even 98%. And accidents happen, even when you are in earshot. Kids will be kids.

Sal - posted on 05/26/2011

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laurabeth....you'd be stunned what a child can scale. my daugter (while in hospital with a head injury from a fall) threw herself over an inescapable hopsital cot, while the drs were questioning me on how she could of fallen and wounded her self if she was being watched carefully.... they all just looked at me, and said "oh she's a climber" and walked off no more questions....

Isobel - posted on 05/26/2011

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Even better... It was my first time ever leaving the kids alone without me :(

my god I wished for death upon my return with Quentin's forehead all gnashed up

Mel - posted on 05/26/2011

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yeah....I feel so lucky that my kids havent had any major injuries I think I would freak the only one was the hitting her mouth on the corner of my dresser and then maybe a scrape to her knee and thats it. Lucky me

Sharon - posted on 05/26/2011

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You know? I don't even feel bad about it. I remember the panic at seeing all the blood, I remember a voice in head screaming softly "all head wounds bleed profusely! stop spazzing" but I semi spazzed anyway. but of the incident itself I feel "amused". Looking right at him and it happened anyway.

Mel - posted on 05/26/2011

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ohh thats nasty, I know sometimes you can see them doing someting but you cant stop it.

Isobel - posted on 05/26/2011

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Q has a Nike swoosh on his forehead from falling while on a trampoline (my mother STILL apologizes every times she sees us)...it happens

Sharon - posted on 05/26/2011

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Thats funny. My younger boy did that. Hubby watched him run across the yard hugging his favorite helicopter. It was the size of your average 4 yr olds torso. Then he tripped. He put his arms out to break his fall - still holding the helicopter. He still has a divot on his forehead. and dear god did it ever bleed like a sonofabitch. Oh yeah and both of us were trying to stop the bleeding, stop the crying and scream for the oldest child to get the baby and bring her in the house so we could keep an eye on them all.

Mel - posted on 05/26/2011

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"Your kid can break his/her arm or get a concussion when you are standing right there...."

SO true, I will yell at my husband if something has happened "your supposed to be watching her" he says "I was watching her I watched it happen"

Sharon - posted on 05/26/2011

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Veronica - I'd be happy to kick your husband in the balls for you.

Mine doesn't do that. CAN'T do that. I have shoved him out the door forcefully with all 3 kids just to get my point across. he lost one kid while shopping and I never let him forget it.

Now he refuses to take them anywhere (well used to, they're all more grown up now) and when he was at home with them, he just shut himself and the kids in the house and refused to let anyone outside. Nice way to handle it 'eh?

Veronica - posted on 05/26/2011

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i didnt read through all the replies, nor the original thread - but no - you cannot be there 100% with your child - i have six - and only two eyeballs -- they all do not stay in the same room - but are mainly in the living room or their bedrooms - and we live in a little modular home, one floor - so the whole house is within a few steps of each room (if that made sense? LOL)
I wish my husband would get it though - i did have a horrible experience - I was at the kitchen table doing my paperwork (putting 2010 papers away, and putting 2011s together) my 2 year old and 1 year old were maybe 10 feet away or so.. right there -- they were playing great until all of a sudden there was a huge BANG -- here my 2 year old knocked our big ass old school tv off the stand - when i ran to them, it appeared that my 1 year old's leg was pinned under it - My initial thought was someone was dead - that tv is prob. 40-50lbs. - - seeing that they were alive - i thought my 1 year old was going to have a broken leg/hip - so i was freaking out -- called the emergency services and they came and checked everyone out-- thank the Lord they were both fine with little scratches and bruises --- it was sooo scary!!! Its scary being a mom - because you literally cannot be there 100% of the time - so all you can do is pray that they will be ok - and make sure things are safe and secure (apparently the tv wasnt - but now we have it blocked in so it cannot be pushed off). I wish my husband would understand the concept though - when i told him of the incident - he asked, "well, what were you doing?" as if i was off somewhere picking my ass -- anyways -- we can only do the best we can - and we can only protect our kids soo much without putting them in a bubble --

LauraBeth - posted on 05/26/2011

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My bad I have never heard of either one, but a teo years old toes are tiny, Well I am tired and BetteAnn has been asleep for 30min so Nighty night ya'll!! happy debating

Sharon - posted on 05/26/2011

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Oh and its not an "unscalable" fence. Its a no climb fence. Its fencing with tiny spaces so feet can't get hold, unless its a shoeless 2 yr old.

Sharon - posted on 05/26/2011

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Why was it wrong? They probably could make a tv show out of the antics of my kids.

LauraBeth - posted on 05/26/2011

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@ Sharon I'll be watch the TV then, child scales 6 ft unscalable fence sounds like a good one to see!!



Laura I understand and I know accidents will happen I know that there will be cavities and fevers, and things will happen when I am there both eyes watching them, I was talking about being careless and letting them out of your site like the parents did in the other post, I have felt attacked by most of everyone one here, These children are my only two, God granted me them and I feel like it is my job to keep my eyes on them, I said in earlier post that this is how I do things ME, MYSELF, and I and if its not what you want to do then that is fine with me I never felt like I was pushing or degrading anyone into my views, Hell I have learned a few things from circle of moms and there are few things that I cant believe someone would even suggest. to each their own. Thank you for your words. I am new I have been a mommie for only two years and I take pride that they have not been hurt yet, I know it will happen exspecially if they take after my Hubby, lol

Isobel - posted on 05/26/2011

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but yes...please find a way to get more sleep...an average of 7 hours (MINIMUM) per night is recommended...supplementing your 5 hours with an extra hour still doesn't cut it

Isobel - posted on 05/26/2011

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Laurabeth...we aren't trying to make you feel bad...we are actually trying to make you feel better once the inevitable happens. It seems like you feel like if you watch them enough you can protect them from the world...such is simply not the case.

We all watch our kids (except for the idiot that went to the store while her dad was on the roof)...but accidents STILL WILL happen. period.

The fact that my son hasn't had any cavities doesn't mean it's BECAUSE I'm so awesome at forcing him to brush and floss...it's a combination of nature AND nurture.

I think you feel that everybody's attacking you, but really, we're all trying to give you the permission to let yourself slip from time to time.

For example....my daughter (when she was 3) was playing with her best friend in our back yard...between the swings and the slide~awesome time.

My daughter darts out ahead of me, her best friend on a swing kicks her in the face, and a year later that tooth has decayed from the inside creating an abscess and the tooth needs to be pulled.

It happens. We cannot judge ourselves OR ANYBODY ELSE by unreasonable standards. SHIT HAPPENS

Sharon - posted on 05/26/2011

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And then some people insist on deluding themselves while whriling themselves into the hysterical frenzy of uber helicopter parenting.

They think they have it all covered. They think they've seen the worst. And they haven't. LMAO. ah well. When their kid is a newstory, I'll laugh.

LauraBeth - posted on 05/26/2011

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lol, sorry I was talking to mrs Chez(she was talking about nights), My 8mo old is a light short sleeper at night, so when she is up so am I, more like cat naps at night



here is the post:



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You - posted 1 hour ago



I was waiting for your input Gorg, I have always been a light, short sleeper(even before kids) , but on the weekends I get an extra hour or so when my hubby gets up with them at night, you found my flaw now, I guess everyone has them. Geez what was I thinking, leave it to the head cheese to point that out, since you brought that to my attention I will let my babies cry or play while I sleep since that is what you would do, right?



YOU must show me the RIGHT WAY!!! please!!!





Gorg was meant to say Gorganzola sorry

Jenn - posted on 05/26/2011

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So if it's time for bed, wouldn't your kids be sleeping? Why would they be crying or playing? And last time I checked, this wasn't a PM, nor did you address a specific person, so I replied as well. I threw in the dirty diapers for added effect obviously. :P

LauraBeth - posted on 05/26/2011

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Wasnt talking to you Jenn, sorry I dont think I mentioned dirty diapers, lol



I was talking about at night when it is time for bed

LauraBeth - posted on 05/26/2011

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just because you cant doesnt mean i cant! I dont live on a whole lot of land or at a cross rd, I dont live near a busy rd. I have a single story open floor plan, these things make a difference, I have a mother that lives next door who also stays at home, It doesnt have to be my eyes on my children, but they are watched and it is possible to do so, just because you cant multi-task doesnt make me full of shit either, my son is into that phase where if you say no he kicks and screams and I still manage to have eyes or ears on my 8mo old who walks and climbs and loves jabber very loudly when her older brother is doing the same.

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