isnt this a site for WOMEN?

Tinker1987 - posted on 10/05/2011 ( 34 moms have responded )

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ive been notices posts by a man named Sam Emes. just thought this was a page for women!!!

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Caitlin - posted on 10/06/2011

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If a woman isn't comfortable sharing things with a man, she shouldn't post online, where information is likely to be read by anybody and everybody on the internet. These topics are searchable and readable even if you are't logged in, so if it's REALLY that private, it shouldn't be on the internet IMO..

Ez - posted on 10/07/2011

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But even if so, we can't say men are dissallowed,

We haven't said it. COM management have. Seriously, I don't see the big deal. This is not the only parenting forum in the world.

Jaime - posted on 10/07/2011

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What about gated communities, and private country clubs and private schools (all girls/all boys) that aren't open to just anyone? I mean we could go on all day back and forth with this blather. The bottom line is that there are social networking sites and outside social gathering places that set specific criteria for their membership. This site happens to be vaginas only. I personally would not care if a man joined CoMs, but that's me and I'm not the policy maker of this site so moving on....

Charlie - posted on 10/06/2011

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"The main point is that this is NOT a site for only Women. "

Well actually it is ...it is mentioned through out the website and is part of COM policy.

I agree what you write should be accepted as open that doesnt change the fact COM was created as a safe haven for mothers to discuss everything from children , vaginal issues , relationship issues and random stuff.

There are several Dad sites on the net ...for men, I dont see what the big deal is.

Jenni - posted on 10/06/2011

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No more discriminatory than a women's only gym.



Hey, I don't mind having the occasional man lurking around the site, personally. The estrogen levels tend to get a bit high on COM. And I swear our cycles are starting to align.



BUT... I did sign up for a mom's site... not a parenting site. I do think COM management should start a co-site, Circle of Dads.



I'm aware whatever I write can be read by *anyone*. I type in parenting topics in Google and I'm hit with a number of links to our threads.

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Jaime - posted on 10/09/2011

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From what I was able to find there are very few men-only gyms, but what I find interesting is that there are plenty of women-only gyms. In Canada 'Curves' is a big one. Point is, there are plenty of member-specific social outlets and it has nothing to do with discrimination. This site is moms with vaginas only...if you want something different, go somewhere else.

Caitlin - posted on 10/09/2011

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No men only gyms here either, because I think the guys go to the gyms with allt he hot chicks so they can show off (I see that ALL the time - well, when I used to go to the gym). I've heard it referred to as a "sausage fest" whent here are only guys at the gym, I don't think that THAT is much of a selling point.. lol.

Charlie - posted on 10/07/2011

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If there is something trivial to complain about chances are someone will complain forget that that there are much bigger issues going on without resolution unlike THIS issue.

I mean hey there Dad sites I wonder how many "working mothers" identify as the Dad like some of you are saying about fathers simply because they stay home.

So now if we swap traditional roles the father is the mom and the mother is the Dad WTF ?

Dad is Dad , Mum is Mum I seriously wonder how many women hide as men and sneak into father forums because they work ?

Why not go to one of the much larger parenting forums where you can speak with parents from all walks of life all genders and parenting status ( working/SAH)

Becky - posted on 10/07/2011

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I don't see why there should be outrage over women only and men only gyms or forums. I personally prefer to work out in a woman only gym. I find it less intimidating. And I prefer to talk about personal stuff in a woman-only forum. There are a lot of posts I would not respond to if men were allowed on COM's. (Specifically, anything that has to do with sex, bodily functions, etc.)

No one is outraged over us having separate washrooms! So why be outraged over separating other things? As much as we want to be equal, we are different, plain and simple. Men will never have to deal with extreme menstrual pain or vaginal dryness, let alone childbirth! And women don't have erectile dysfunction and other issues that men have. And even when it comes to parenting and men in the roles of primary caregiver/mother, don't you think they would benefit more from being in a group with other men in the same role than in a group with women? I'm sure there are different issues that we face.

Stifler's - posted on 10/07/2011

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I feel like there shouldn't be women only gyms either. If there was a man only gym - no women allowed! there would be public outrage.

Angela - posted on 10/07/2011

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I just do not understand why it is not okay unless their are no gyms, website etc for other people to join.
I enjly the fact that the site wants women only. I can go on many site with other types of caregivers.
I thin we jump on the discrimination issue too much at times. As long is it is equal access to services how it is discrimination?

Caitlin - posted on 10/07/2011

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I have issues with those "women only" gyms too.. We had a "guys only" gay bar in town and it raised wuite the fuss a fwe years ago because it denied entry to a woman.. In a society, we learn to live with others, and i believe an online community shouldn't descriminate either..

[deleted account]

Personally, I think it's OK to have the men if they are the primary caregiver. SAHD's have a hard enough time at the playground as it is; let's not exclude them online too. Maybe they could even form their own group. Yes, there are some personal things posted, but Dads raise daughters too and it might be helpful for them to see personal women's issues as well. Obviously, if someone is abusing it, they should be removed. But as a blanket policy, it seems unfair.

[deleted account]

Sam could be a man's name, true. But even if so, we can't say men are dissallowed, as SO many men are in "mom" roles these days and need this group too. If a person is irrelavent to the site or trolling, then let admin take care of the member, otherwise I'm not concerned with gender.

Nikki - posted on 10/07/2011

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I will just say, personally I agree with CoM's policy on men, I like the thought that this site is just for mums, and I agree that there are thousands of other parenting sites for men to choose from. The man that was on here was a very special circumstance and I should add that he was only on here for a short period of time to get some advice.

Charlie - posted on 10/07/2011

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Well that is something they will have to take up with COM managment when they review their profile, I dont make the rules I just dont see what the big deal is I can make a list of parenting sites and male only father sites the chances it is a transgendered mother is fairly slim I guess they will have to cross that road when they get there.

Nikki - posted on 10/07/2011

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Oh dear.....

There actually was a dad approved on here once but he was only allowed in one community, which was one of mine. But that was community managements call and he was aware that if he made anyone feel uncomfortable his profile would be deleted.

Jennifer - posted on 10/07/2011

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So, what happens if this is actually someone who feels like a woman who is trapped in a mans body? Gender isn't as clear cut as it used to be. One of my daughters best friends is born a female but once you get to know her, you know she is actually a male who just happened to be born with the wrong bits.

Angela - posted on 10/07/2011

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Just PM them and ask are you a man maybe?
But I am with the people like Feen. It is not discriminatory unless their was not any other sites for men in caregiving roles.

Ez - posted on 10/06/2011

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There are other forums that are for all parents, and some specifically for fathers. This is for mothers. And yes it is policy that it be restricted to women.

Jennifer - posted on 10/06/2011

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The main point is that this is NOT a site for only Women. It is a mom's group and I know of some men who identify as MOM in their household. And I agree that anything you post online, you must assume that EVERYONE can read it regardless of their political views, gender or sexual identity.

JuLeah - posted on 10/06/2011

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It is, but Sam can be a woman's name and many have pixs of partners and children up under their name ...

Charlie - posted on 10/06/2011

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I think its more the fact that this mothers site has some deeply personal questions that women may not feel comfortable sharing in the presence of a guy.

Jennifer - posted on 10/06/2011

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I personally don't think it matters. There are some households who have dad's as the main caregiver for the children and they need support too. It would be discriminatory to ban him simply because he is a guy. As long as he answers/asks questions appropriately, what does it matter his gender? Sometimes gay guys have children and one of them happens to be in the role of Mom.

Isobel - posted on 10/05/2011

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many women have their mate as a profile pic...could or couldn't be...never know

Ez - posted on 10/05/2011

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Ok considering the profile picture is of an elderly man (who is unlikely to be online at all) I think it's probably a girl.

Becky - posted on 10/05/2011

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S/He posted on a thread on the welcome page about having a bi-racial grandchild. The profile picture is a man. I guess it could be her husband or brother or something, but it is a bit suspicious.

Charlie - posted on 10/05/2011

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Yeah I would make sure it is a woman first , Sam is fairly unisex then when you are sure forward it to COM managment.

PS if you see Johnny it is actually a woman ;)

Ez - posted on 10/05/2011

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Keli, if you forward the link to his profile I will bring it to the attention of management. We have had problems before with men posting. No, they are not allowed.

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