Just a funny

Katherine - posted on 02/21/2011 ( 15 moms have responded )




I was violently ill for most of my pregnancies, yet I still managed to gain 60+ pounds each and every time. Kind of a medical marvel ... Go me! I was big. Real big.

I hit my pregnancy low when shopping at Marshall's while nine months pregnant with my third. It was December and the store was mobbed. By the time I got to the checkout, I was in dire need of a nap and in no mood for polite conversation. The clerk didn't seem to grasp that. She looked up from the register and audibly gasped, "You're sure you don't have an elephant in there? You're HUGE!"

So, I punched her in the face and left.

OK, not really, but I wanted to. Badly. Some things are better just left unsaid to an expectant mom. Things like this:

1. You look like you're about to explode! Really? I had no idea. I was feeling quite svelte today. Thanks for the earth shattering observation.

2. Can I touch your belly? Sure! It's totally acceptable to grope a stranger's body. Why not feel me up, too, while you're at it?

3. You can't possibly have X months left! Wow! You know so much about this! I should just quit going to my OB and come straight to you!

4. Are you sure you don't have twins in there? Yes, I'm pretty sure I would be aware if I were carrying two babies. But, thanks for checking.

5. Are you going to breastfeed? And ... this impacts you how?? DId you want to taste the milk?

6. You are absolutely having a boy/girl. Really? You want to see the ultrasound? Take your old wives tales and shove 'em.

7. Should you be eating/drinking that? Should you be allowed to speak?

8. Are you happy? Well, no. I'm terrified out of my mind. But do you really want to know that? What a stupid question.

9. Did you plan this? Do I look like I planned this? And, mind your own damn business.

10. Wow! You're going to have your hands full! I'm going to jump off a bridge now. Thanks.

What's wrong with people?! Did you hear any whoppers while pregnant? Let's hear them!



View replies by

Katherine - posted on 02/21/2011




@ Toni I got the same thing lol.

And the ever rude, when are you due when you're NOT pregnant.

I just wanted to punch those people.

[deleted account]

Urgh I feel huge this time round with Ethan I had quite a neat little bump until about 34 weeks or so when I did get bigger, but this time round I've had a bump from before I was 12 weeks pregnant and even now at 23 weeks people are still saying oh I didn't know you were pregnant, great so you just thought I was getting fatter each week cheers love!

Iridescent - posted on 02/21/2011




With my first, I didn't show until I was overdue with him. I was really sick, and we were just glad he was healthy when he was born despite it. My BMI at the start of the pregnancy was 15.7...and it never improved with the pregnancy. The comments I hated with that one were, "You had a baby!? I didn't even know you were pregnant!" No, I kidnapped a newborn and nobody noticed. And during the pregnancy, "You're so sick! You should just drink alcohol, and you'll be fine." I can't, I'm PREGNANT.

Now, after my third pregnancy, I keep getting asked when I'm due! My dad was with one day at the store when the cashier had the nerve to ask me, and while I can't remember what I said, my dad couldn't get away any faster and the cashier is highly unlikely to make the same mistake again.

Rosie - posted on 02/21/2011




you know nothing really bothered me much. i expected it, sure they are stupid questions, but meh, i ask stupid questions too, so i know what to expect.
the only thing that really bothered me was people touching my belly without asking. it didn't happen all that often though, so once again, meh. :)

[deleted account]

I simply got tired of answering questions the first time around. This time, my little parrot has been answering those questions for me!

Stranger: "When are you due?"

Eliza: "Mawch a-teen!" (March 18)

Stranger: "Who's your doc?"

Eliza: "Doctow Ewbown." (Dr. Elbourne)

Stranger: "Girl or boy?"

Eliza: "Bay-bee!" (meaning we don't care we're just happy we're having a baby!)

[deleted account]

Oh no Louise..a friend of mine was at her daughters birthday party.The manager of the childrens activity center said to her" you would be fantastic working here, your great with children.She said " thanks yes i love children.He said" sure i would only have hired you & you then would need to go on maternity leave.
My friend was so shocked she couldnt say anything and left the manager thinking she was preggo.lol.
She has problems with her tummy causing it to bloat on her.She can look up to 5mths some days.

[deleted account]

I got " for god sake, my four year old has more of a belly than you" i was close to six mths on my second child.Wasnt very happy as i had complications but she was super healthy once born.Also she was taking the piss out of her daughter for being over weight, in public and in the presence of the little girl.:-(

So my thing is, if its not kind and postive, keep the trap shut lol..:-)

Angela - posted on 02/21/2011




People are just so bold now a days! I never came across that when I was pregnant,I mean cause they would of been humiliated getting knocked out by a pregnant woman :)

Louise - posted on 02/21/2011




All the above is rude but it is even more offensive when people say to you oh I didn't know you were pregnant again, not long to go then,to which you reply I am not pregnant!!!!!! Ouch.

Tara - posted on 02/21/2011




I had someone tell me "you simply MUST be having twins, why else would you be so HUGE?" my reply..."actually it's a litter of puppies"
and I kept a completely straight face the whole time, and for the 20 seconds or so after i said it until she walked away.
total stranger by the way.

Katherine - posted on 02/21/2011




I had someone tell me THEY weren't that big at four months, THEY weren't even showing. I felt like saying well you're a fat ass now and you're not even pregnant!!

[deleted account]

the one that bothered me was "oh your pregnant! i wasn't sure i thought you were just getting fat.." yea not once but 3 times said to me..

Bonnie - posted on 02/21/2011




One that kind of bothered me when I was pregnant with my first was, "Are you sure you are pregnant? You look awfully tiny"
Geez thanks. I'm not going to make it up. Do you need to see my pregnancy test results or the ultrasound picture? I didn't really show at all for the first 5 months at least.

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