Just For Fun, Redux -- Beauty Crimes

Krista - posted on 04/15/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




Just to piggyback off the other thread...what are the worst beauty crimes, either committed by yourself in the past, or that you've seen on others?

For me, it's:

- Not getting your hair trimmed. There is nothing uglier than long hair with 5 inches of scraggly, split, fuzzy, ratty-assed ends, because you "just loooooove long hair" and forbid your stylist from trimming off more than 1/1000th of an inch every 3 years.

- Dark lipliner and pale lipstick. Goddamn, people! Why? What on earth ever made you think this looks good?

- Mismatched foundation -- often done in an attempt to "look less pale". Sure, you look less pale. You also look like you just escaped from Bedlam.

- French pedicures. I'm sorry. I hate them. I find it just makes people look like they haven't trimmed their toenails in three weeks.

- Chin hair. HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT??? Would you please just pluck those fuckers already so that we can all move on with our lives?

- Soul patches on men. Otherwise known as "Hi! I'm a douche!"

- Too much tanning. No, you do not look "healthy". And in 5 years, you're going to look like Keith Richards' scrotum. Just stop it.

What are your beauty crimes?


View replies by

Krista - posted on 04/15/2011




My worst beauty crimes have been:

- the big, sprayed, teased bangs (hey...it was the '80's)
- dying my hair black. I looked like I'd been inexpertly embalmed.
- red lipstick. I have naturally rosy cheeks, so red lipstick makes me look like an aging madam.

Jenni - posted on 04/15/2011




In others:

Shaved eye brows and then redrawn to look like they just found out White Snake is touring.

Mismatched foundation- there was a girl in my highschool who looked like an umpa lumpa.

Femulets or mulets of any kind, really.

Men who bleached the tips of their dark hair and then dunked their head in a bucket of dollar store gell.

Tribal arm band tattoos (way too over done)

Tongue piercings but only when the person plays with it constantly. Sticks it out past their teeth over and over again in a conversation like they're trying to catch flies with it. We get it! Your tongue is pierced! Now go take a break.

Indie bangs!!!! Oh oh oh look at me I'm a prototype of an independent thinker.

In me

oooo I did the dark lip liner thing. And I have big lips so it looked like i got them stuck in a vaccuum hose.

The goth look. The night time is the right time! I'm sooo indie and cool! You all are conformists! Now where's my clove cigarette?

Tara - posted on 04/15/2011




bright coloured eye liner on the lower and upper lids. Like Irish Green or Luminescent Blue or Violet purple etc.
Just looks dumb imo

Hair that is so sticky and stiff looking with product, like if you touched it, it would break.

The "big pouty lip" look. Usually accomplished by applying lip liner all the way around and just a little past your actual lip line. Looks like a kid did your lipstick.

Improperly applied foundation, if I can see it in the crease of your nose or between your eye brows you look like someone about to do a stage production with bad lighting.

Nails that are way too long to accomplish anything. Who would want 3 inch nails that could impale a small child or wreck havoc on a mans manly parts?

Sandals on people who have really bad toe nails, like long and yellow and curled and puckered etc. that's just yucky.

Bad dye jobs. And people who think their roots blend in with their new colour but who really look like someone came along and painted a black streak down their part.

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