Kids attracted to the same sex at an early age…?!!

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 08/16/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have a nephew who is 8.

Up until the age of 3 he wore his mother’s high heels, or cute shoes, at 5 he threw a fit when one of his grandfathers didn’t buy him the purple slippers with feathers and diamond studs. He enjoys playing with my niece more then my son. He has been caught painting her nails, wearing her shoes, talking in a girl voice, putting shirts on his head to pretend that it is long pretty hair…but now at 8 he realizes that boys are not suppose to do that and not to mention his other grandfather gets very upset when he does things like that.

My niece likes to play girly things, whereas my son wants to play battle ships, cars, bad guy-good guy games…..and my nephew will only play those things with my son when people are around. The biggest thing is when I caught him trying to kiss my then 5 year old son on the lips…he was 7….

It is an unspoken fear among my sister (his mother) (we have diff dads same mothers) side of the family that he will be gay, on our side we feel that if he does turn out to be gay then we don’t care, we just fear that my sisters side will not be as open as we are. I have to admit that we all watch and anticipate how he will be when he is older, because so many on my sisters side of the family makes excuses as to why he is the way he is……

or maybe he just enjoys girly stuff……………????



One of my very good friends is gay and he said he knew at 5 he liked boys, and struggled for so long in fighting what he felt because he knew that society said it was wrong to like the same sex.



My question to you is

What do you make of a boy favoring girly stuff vs. boy stuff, and do you think kids know as young as 5 who they are attracted to?

personally have you known or heard of a child (now and adult) who was attracted to the same sex at a young age?

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Lindsay - posted on 08/16/2010

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It could be an indication of possibly being gay or trnasgendered or it could also very possibly just be that those things are fun to play with for him. It makes me cringe when I hear of people getting on to a kid for what they are playing with, obviously besides something dangerous or playing mean, etc. Not all kids fit into a certain stereotype and they shouldn't. My son is the only boy of the grandkids in my family. He's often playing dress up or with "girl" toys because his other option is to play by himself. He finds it much more fun to play with his sister and his cousins. Sexual orientation shouldn't be "pushed" on a kid. It is what it is. Kids should be encouraged to have fun and be confident in themselves. They should feel safe to be themselves especially in the home. I can't imagine how sad it is for a child to be scared to show who they really are in fear of how their family will react.

Stifler's - posted on 08/16/2010

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I think there is too much pressure on children to fulfill their gender roles. Boys shouldn't have to play with trucks if they don't want to and girls shouldn't have to play with barbies if they don't want to.

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Krista - posted on 08/16/2010

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I think it's too soon to tell for sure, but in either case, it's sad that this boy is being pressured by his grandfather and other family members to fit into a more "traditional" male niche. Only time will tell what your nephew's identity and orientation turn out to be, but in the meantime, I guarantee you that he will need your support and the best gift you can give him right now is to make sure he knows that you love him for himself and that he can come talk to you about anything.

Lucy - posted on 08/16/2010

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I think it is interesting that identifying with the opposite sex automatically makes us as a society think that a child will be gay. The first gay man I ever knew was a very "blokey" man, works as builder, rides a motor bike and isn't in the least bit effeminate. Whereas my husband (who I can assure is straight ;P) works in the creative arts, loves a blub at a chick flick, is great at needle work and after a few drinks has a very camp/bitchy sense of humour and will flirt with everyone in the room! As Loureen said, this kind of behaviour could just be curiosity or a suggestion that he could be transgendered. I'm not saying your nephew won't turn out to be gay, it certainly sounds like he is "different" in some ways from his family's masculine ideal, and this in itself will probably make his life more difficult, I guess.

Either way I think it is great that you are prepared for the possibility, and prepared to support him, as it sounds like he is going to need family members who will accept him for who he is.

Charlie - posted on 08/16/2010

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Some children are just curious and some children are transgendered .

Most people are born gay although some 'turn" gay but i have had a boy at school , 5 years old who dressed up in the girls dress ups , played the role of princess in every game , got very upset when someone would say he was a boy , was very upset at having a penis ( he told us he wished it would just fall off ) we were a litlle worried he may try something like cut it off ( its been done before ) everything about him was very feminine , his voice , his mannerisms.

Let me be clear it was not the things he played with that made him like this he was clearly born this way , his parents had always done the normal thing and bought him trucks and footballs but he wasnt interested , his behaviour appeared long before the toys and games started .

Many other boys at school would muck around with the girls stuff but it was different , they were still very masculine , still behaved like boys it was more of an exploratory avenue for them an not an indication of who they were .

This boy was too young to be attracted to anyone but 4 years later i saw him again , he was now in the middle of primary school and still exactly the same !!

His parents didnt encourage but they didnt discourage it either they were just accepting of who he is and who he may become , i think their excellent attitude towards him has made him the confident young man he is today he is free to be himself no matter who that is or how it might change .

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