Kids say the darndest things.......

Evelyn - posted on 09/11/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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The recent swearing post inspired me to start this discussion lol. Seems that like me, a lot of you ladies have some hilarious tales to tell. My daughter for one..is a champ at saying some really funny things at some REALLY bad times/places. Her personal fave seems to be the supermarket.



Here are a couple...Once there was this really obese woman riding on one of those shopping cart car thingies and she says in a stage whisper..."Mommy, what does that lady eat????" another time there was this insanely tall guy..(seriously..he must have been like 7 feet tall) and she says to me.."Mommy..was that guys daddy a tree??". My personal fave (and most embarassing lol) is when we were in Wal-Mart one day, she is sitting in the cart..she looks at me very seriously and practically yells.."MOMMY, HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES??!!!" OMFG. My immediate question was.."who told YOU about the birds and the bees???" Some television show she watched had mentioned the phrase...but she executed it perfectly. Crowded market and all. LOL



I've got tons more lol..but I want to hear some of your stories! So I know I'm not alone! :-)



Let us know some memorable moments that you wished it was socially acceptable for a child to be muzzled? (lol..j/k...j/k)

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My sister is 5 years younger then me and one night we were out for tea and come time to pay for it, my parents told the cashier that my sister was younger then she actually was at the time, (so the could get it cheaper) and my sister happened to hear my parents and yelled "no im not im a big girl i'm ( i cant remember what age she was)" that was embarrasing.

Needles to say we never went out to a resturant for dinner again

Konda - posted on 09/12/2009

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Well both of mine involve police and neither came from my little angels, LOL.

When my sister was young, she and my cousin were with my mother and my mother was stopped for speeding...it was a 25mph zone, so it is not hard to do, but my cousin was afraid of the police(my father was a police officer so sis was not). The officer was at my mother's window talking to her, when my sister said, 'don't worry Katie, Mama was just stopped by another officer yesterday, it's not a big deal'...luckily the officer knew my father.

Then my brother, who IS a speed demon, was speeding while on vacation with his family and was stopped by an AL state officer and as the officer was walking up to the vehicle my 5 yo nephew started singing...."Bad Boys"....the song they play on the show "Cops"...the trooper was not amused and he did get a well deserved ticket.

Sharon - posted on 09/12/2009

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We're lucky we have always lived in or near military towns. I'm so glad my kids are exposed to many different races now.

Isobel - posted on 09/12/2009

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yes...there was a big long talk that day...thank god we live in the city now so they get to know people from all backgrounds :)

Sharon - posted on 09/12/2009

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OOHHH Ouch Laura. yeah thats a cringe worthy exclamation right there! When my son pulled his stunt, I was so mortified. I BEGGED the school to let me apologise to the parents.

Isobel - posted on 09/12/2009

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i'm a little hesitant with this one...when my daughter was 3, we lived in a mainly white suburb (we have since moved to the city). the first time my daughter saw an african american she yelled at me (no stage whisper here)...why is that guy sooooo dirty?!?!

Evelyn - posted on 09/11/2009

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LOL speaking of toilet stories..when my daughter was about 4 years old she told me she had to go potty. So we went together to the bathroom and she sat down. We waited a few minutes and I finally asked her "Didn't you say you had to go potty?" She looked at me and says..." I did, but I don't have to go anymore. My butt swallowed it." LMFAO...I will remember that forever. Classic.

Maleasha - posted on 09/11/2009

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Just yesterday my daughter was doing a dance right next to me, I asked her if she had to use the toilet, she said yes and I helped her to the bathroom. We got in there and she started freaking out telling me she couldn't sit on the toilet. I asked her why not and she exclaimed, "Because mommy, there is bacteria in the toilet."

Brenda - posted on 09/11/2009

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Wow, these are some good ones! I just love kid stories :)
Here are a couple of my favorites...
One day, Jared & Zach were playing police. Zach was the bad guy and Jared was arresting him with his metal toy handcuffs. He put the cuffs on Zach and accidentally squeezed them too tight when he closed them. Zach yelled "Owww! That hurts!" and Jared, without missing a beat, said, "Tell it to the Judge!" I about died laughing.

This one happened just a few weeks ago. My 5 year old and I were out front, it was dusk and our street is poorly lit. We are surrounded by huge cedars so for a 5 year old, it would be pretty creepy. Well, our mailboxes are across the street and over a couple of houses. We were walking towards the mailbox and the wind was really blowing so all of the trees were shaking. Suddenly Jared stops in his tracks and says "Mom, I don't wanna walk over there! It's dark and creepy and smells like deaf!" He was saying "death" but he has a speech issue, so it came out "deaf" which just made it more hilarious.

My oldest does some funny things too. Last week was the first week of school for the kids. I had run out of our normal fabric softener (I normally use Snuggle Melon & Lotus Flower scent-- it smells kinda fruity) so I went to the market, but they were out, so I got the Snuggle Wild Orchid & Vanilla kiss. Well I washed all their school clothes and had them ready to go.
Zach got ready for school that morning and then he came storming into the bathroom while I was getting ready. He was totally pissed off and he says "Mom, I can't believe you are doing this to me!"
And I said "Doing WHAT to you?"
and he said "All of my clothes smell like pine cones and flowers!!"
Huh. And to think I thought no one would even notice I changed fabric softener. Silly me.

Sharon - posted on 09/11/2009

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Ok all the self censoring we do around here....



when my son started kindergarten we had just gotten RUSH HOUR with Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan - I don't recall much swearing but when we heard it we cautioned our boys that those weren't good words... we over looked one...



In one scene Chris Tucker greets a friend with "whats up my ni**" omg. This area doesn't have very many african american kids. As luck would have it his kindergarten class got a new student soon after and my son thought that was the appropriate way to greet a black person. omg omg omg omg.

[deleted account]

My son was watching a movie w/my husband and the character in the movie said "I'm gonna fuck you up" and my son turned to my husband and said "Daddy, I'm gonna fuck you up" w/fists and everything!



I was telling my son not to get the kitchen floor wet because mommy could slip and would probably go into early labor and need to go to the hospital and he told me "thats ok mommy, you take the ambulance to the doctor and they make it all better" as if that fixes everything! Sure that's nothing to be muzzled over, but i thought it was funny :)

Lindsay - posted on 09/11/2009

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Well Madeline told Josh's Grandmother one time, "Mamaw Martha, girls aren't supposed to have hair on their face!" I could have died right then and there!

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