kindergarten heartache :(

Rosie - posted on 02/10/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )

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my son came home today grumpy. when i asked him what was wrong he just started bawling and saying seven (yes a kid in his class is named seven, lol) told him to get away from him. vincent considers seven to be his best friend in school, and he really doesn't have anybody else that he plays with outside of school. so seven is it. i don't know how to help him, and i feel so stupid. i'm supposed to be able to comfort my child, and i can't think of the right words to say to him. everything i say makes him cry more. please help!! :)

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Ez - posted on 02/10/2011

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I agree with Marina. Allow him to own his feelings. Let him know you understand why he is upset. But also try and stay positive. Explain that sometimes friends fight, just like brothers fight, but they usually work it out and are friends again.

I'm sorry Kati. This is one of the things I'm most scared of in raising Milla... that some other kid will hurt her feelings or reject her. I know it's inevitable, but it's not nice for us Mummas to see. x

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/10/2011

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Awe, poor guy!!! My heart goes out to him. At this point I don't think trying to make him feel better is the key, but letting him get it out. Telling him "I know it hurts" "I know you are sad" give him a name for his feelings? This might help him understand it better? I don't know. I am sorry.

JuLeah - posted on 02/10/2011

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Good time for your baby to learn that what others think of us doesn't impact what we think of us
Good time to learn that people act as they do for many many reasons .... maybe Seven was sick, maybe had a fight with another kid, maybe wet his pants and didn't want anyone to know ....
Good chance for your child to learn that fights happen, disagreements happen, people get upset, people sometime act mean .... we deal and move on. If we value the friendship, we talk it out ....
And, with kids, they fight, 20 minutes later they are best buds again
Seven should not be your kids only friend ... encourage him to make friends with others ... have play dates at your house so he can get to know them outside of school
Comfort him with a hug and tell him that you have been there, we all have. Who hasn't had a Seven act like that on recess? So, hug your baby and tell him you understand, then suggest a game or something fun (not food) maybe have him call Seven and invite him over to play?
And, it is okay for your son to cry and be upset. You don't actually have to fix that. Sometimes we feel bad and sad and that is okay.

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Isobel - posted on 02/10/2011

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don't know how much your situation is like mine was but here goes...Quentin only had one friend in kindergarten, he started doing anything that kid asked and when that kid didn't want to play with him he just sat in a corner and cried...I eventually had to have him moved into another classroom so that he would be forced to make new friends and interact with other kids.

Both kids cried the first week but it ended up for the best...they both have a wider circle of friends and Quentin, two years later is starting to have enough confidence to say no to Michael.

Kate CP - posted on 02/10/2011

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It's a crappy situation but there's a good chance that tomorrow Seven (God, what a stupid name) will want to be his friend again. Kids have mood swings like an unmedicated bipolar. My daughter has had this happen before (and done it to other kids, too) and it's just because they had a bad day. So I explain it to her the same way "I think so-and-so was just having a bad day. We'll see what happens tomorrow. Sometimes people are just in a bad mood and need to be alone for a while." Usually helps my kiddo...hope things work out for you guys!

Stifler's - posted on 02/10/2011

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poor baby :( just tell him you love him and he will make other friends. i remember feeling like i had no friends a few times in primary school and mum would just say that things will get better xxx

Jocelyn - posted on 02/10/2011

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Aww that's awful :(
Poor boy.
Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you, but give him a big hug for me k?

Bonnie - posted on 02/10/2011

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Aww that's sad Kati :-( My son is in his first year of school and sometimes he comes home saying so and so was mean to me or didn't want to play with me. He gets over it really quite, but it breaks my heart. You just don't know how to react to it. You want your kids to be happy and enjoy life.

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