Labeling Your Kids

[deleted account] ( 11 moms have responded )

OK, before I start, please know this is really more for my own clarification so I can understand another mother's point of view. I have a feeling this may turn into a more heated debate, but it's hard to tell.

Why do some mother's constantly label their child with whatever disorder they have? More frequently "My autistic 9 year old....." or "My ADHD boy...."...."My dyslexic girl" and even on the oppsite extreme "My gifted 4th grader...."

Is this how some mothers speak in real life, or is it just the message board thing? I do understand that for some concerns, mentioning a disorder is needed, and helpful for the advice. But then why continue calling your child "The dyslexic one....." I'm seeing this more on other boards, not necesarrily here on DM.

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Mary - posted on 07/03/2011

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I do think some of it could be with regards to the boards. Even though everyone who has posted in this thread thus far probably knows by now that my child is a girl, is 2.5, or that I love pits, or have a history of infertility, I often find myself repeating those specifics (where it's relevant) because not everyone in this community "knows" me, or remembers those details. If a relatively new member comes in and reads a thread, my post about something like childbirth might not make as much sense, or seem as relevant, if she doesn't know that I'm a nurse.

Merry - posted on 07/03/2011

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I was always taught to not say the disease or disorder first, as it doesn't define the person, so I would say my brother with epilepsy, not my epileptic brother, idk that's just how my mom taught me, like not saying that blind man, that's rude, say instead that man who is bline, as blindness isn't the most important part......
I only disclose what's necessary for the point I'm making, like above I mentioned my mom, I didn't need to put in my mom who died of cancer, it just wasn't relevant.

Tara - posted on 07/03/2011

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I agree it depends on context.
It's one thing to say "my autistic son doesn't respond to visual cues the same way my other child does."
And another thing to say "my autistic son loves strawberries but my other kids only eat grapes."
in one case it is useful, relevant info, in the other it is simply unnecessary and come across as attention seeking behaviour.
I knew someone who always referred to her daughter as "my palsy daughter". It was weird.

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Karen - posted on 07/05/2011

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I usually qualify my posts by saying I have a four year old daughter with autism.
I mention this because our experiences are different than most Moms with typically developing children. But I do think it is important to use person first language - I don’t say my autistic daughter, I say my daughter with autism.

I don’t mention this to strangers who ask how old she is, but when they start asking more questions I usually tell them.

[deleted account]

Thanks for your replies! At this very moment, I will label my son & nephew as "Those LOUD boys!" I've got to get them out of the house, but the pool does not open for another 2 hours!

Stifler's - posted on 07/03/2011

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It's a message board thing, I don't know anyone who introduces their kids or talks about their kids as "my ADHD son" or " my autistic son" etc. in real life. On the boards though it usually has to do with relevant topics too like when someone has posted a question about how to occupy a child with ADHD etc. the person is just saying "my ADHD son" so that other mums know they're not just talking shit adn don't even have a kid with ADHD and felt compelled to reply anyway.

Firebird - posted on 07/03/2011

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I think it's mostly just on the boards, I'll refer to Rhiannon as my Autistic daughter on here, if her Autism is relevant to the conversation, but in real life I don't go introducing her like that.

Rosie - posted on 07/03/2011

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i don't know people that do that in real life. sometimes i feel like i have to explain to people that grant has ADHD, and some OCD, and maybe high functioning autism when he does certain things, just so they don't think he is acting the way he is because he's a horrid kid, or that i'm a horrid parent or something.

Minnie - posted on 07/03/2011

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It must be on parenting boards, because I've never come across it in real life. Maybe because we aren't chating face-to-face, perhaps?

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