Leaving your newborn at home while you go on vacation???

Alexis - posted on 07/23/2012 ( 16 moms have responded )

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I am a little torn and knew that this group would give me straight answers. I have an almost 3 year old and an opportunity to take him to the beach and Sea World on a 3 day mini vacation. I won't have this opportunity again for a long time both because of $$ and vacation days from work. However I have a 10 day old that I would leave with his dad or grandma if I go. I would leave him bc I would be going alone and I don't want to be at the beach watching a newborn and a 3 y\o. I also think it would be hot for a new born to be outside all day, as well as the fact that I would get zero sleep since my little guy stays up all night still. This would not be good since I would be driving 6 hours to get there. I am torn though bc I want to spend time with my new little guy before I go back to work, I just see this as such a great opportunity to do something with my older son. What is your take on this and what do you think I should do?

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Tracey - posted on 07/24/2012

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Assuming you can afford to go now why not put the money in a savings account and go next summer (also assuming your vacation days are worked out yearly) when you are not feeling sleep deprived and guilty for leaving your baby?

Sylvia - posted on 07/25/2012

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I absolutely couldn't have done it. We were still getting the hang of nursing for the first few weeks of DD's life, and I can only imagine what 3 days away would have done to my milk supply (plus she'd have starved, of course); she was VERY high-need, and although she didn't care who was holding her at that age as long as somebody was (unless she was hungry, in which case obviously it had to be me), I can't imagine inflicting 3 days of that on anyone for no reason. (I mean, even when you're having a medical emergency and have to be hospitalized, they let you bring your baby along with.)

But in any case I wouldn't have been in any shape to enjoy a trip when my DD was 10 days old -- I was in pain, bleeding, sleep-deprived, and could barely manage matching socks LOL. Sitting on the beach all day nursing, I could probably have handled; anything more intense, no way.

Janice - posted on 07/24/2012

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I honestly would never leave my newborn for more than a few hours. Besides the fact that I breastfeed so it would be impossible, I just would have an extremely hard time leaving the child who just 10 days prior lived inside of me. I would either let dad take the trip with the 3 year old or find a way for all 4 of us to go. And actually now that I am well versed using a carrier, a Ktan, I may just bring the baby and use that the entire time. When my son was a newborn I could bring him everywhere and do almost anything with my wrap and he would just sleep.

I think the choice is a very personal decision in which each mom would feel quite differently about.

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Vicki - posted on 08/07/2012

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HIking sounds lovely. I wouldn't have been able to leave a 10 day old, not even for a few hours, but everyone is different. Just think, if you go in a year your 3 year old will be 4 and will get even more enjoyment out of the trip and will remember it better when he's older.

Janice - posted on 08/07/2012

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I'm glad you made it work Alexis. I'm sure next year you will have a blast with the 2 of them :)

Stifler's - posted on 07/29/2012

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I remember going to Blackdown Tableland when Logan was 2 weeks old OH GOD. I was still recovering from the birth and made my sister carry him in the sling, you're a brave lady going alone.

Alexis - posted on 07/25/2012

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One of the main reasons it couldn't be a family trip was that Dad and I are not together. However I ended up not going. Instead we went hiking, something my lil guy likes and I could put my newest addition in a sling. It was much cheaper and only a day trip as well. Thanks for the advice I was very torn but its not like I won't have an opportunity later, it will just have to be much later, like next year! But then it should be easier to handle with both of them.

Proud - posted on 07/25/2012

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I couldn't do it. I left my daughter once with my parents when she was a month old for a few hours. I called them constantly and didn't enjoy myself.

Firebird - posted on 07/25/2012

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Honestly, it doesn't matter what any of us would do, this is your life. As long as you're comfortable with who you're leaving your baby with, it doesn't matter what we say, all that matters is what you're ok with.

Rosie - posted on 07/24/2012

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i'm not sure i would do it, but as long as you are sure the caretaker is aware of what needs to be done at all hours of the night, lol, your son will be fine. :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/24/2012

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Personally, I think I'd either figure out a way for all to go, or use the money on a trip closer to home that all can participate in.

MeMe - posted on 07/24/2012

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I am with Janice. I could not leave my newborn but that is me. I do not think nor would I have any ill thoughts, toward a Mom that was in your situation and felt comfortable doing it. I am just not able to, I have serious control issues, though, when it comes to my babies. My youngest is 21 months and I will not leave him outside of our home, overnight. Which means, if we want to go anywhere (which has only been twice since he was born and only once was over night), the in-laws come to our home. Once he is in his own bed and can eat more than soft foods, he can go on sleep overs but for now, no ones home is baby proofed, so I cannot do it. ;)



I think if you feel comfortable, then you should do it. There is nothing as great as having some bonding time with your children on a singular level, either. If you do not feel comfortable and don't think you will have an awesome time, due to worry. Then I would take a suggestion or two from Janice and work at it that way. Regardless, I hope you get to go, whether it is just with your 3 year old or all of you!! Have fun!!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/24/2012

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The choice is up to you. I am sure it would be nice to have some special bonding alone time with your 3 year old. The baby arriving I am sure makes it difficult to give him the attention he is use to. If you can do it, emotionally and with the family support, do what you need to do.

Lucy - posted on 07/24/2012

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I think if you're lucky enough to have supportive family to care for your bub and have an opportunity that won't come along again, I say go for it.

Your 10 week old's dad is as much his parent as you are, so it's really not like you're leaving him with some random baby sitter, and if you're breast feeding you can always express etc. I actually think it will be very beneficial for your older son to see that mummy can still spend special time with him even with a new baby on the scene.

Have fun!

Katie - posted on 07/24/2012

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I think if you are completely happy with the person/people you are leaving the baby with, then go for it! It is only 3 days and I'm sure bubs will be fine, providing the person who you leave them with is competent in caring for a newborn.
I left my son when he was about 10 days old to go to a friend's baby shower. I left him at home with my husband for only a few hours and I got so many comments "You left your newborn??" "How could you do that?!". Even though I felt people were judging me, I was still happy in my decision because my husband (my son's father) is quite capable of looking after his own baby while I'm gone for a bit.
As long as you're happy with the people caring for your baby, go for it!

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