Letting your child drink at home

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 09/23/2011 ( 56 moms have responded )

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Would you allow your child to drink in your home? (Starting at 16 +) it could be a beer, glass of wine with dinner, shots to the head..etc.
When did you start drinking and did your parents know?

(I know in other parts of the world the drinking age is not as strict as the US)

Let's say they are still living under your roof at the age of 19,20 and want to have a small gathering of their friends who may be as young as 18. They want to drink...would you let them or put your foot down? What would be the harm if any drinking under your watchful eye?**what are your thoughts in general about your child and drinking in your home**

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Brittany - posted on 09/24/2011

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" That is a very interesting perspective, Brittany, but how do you intend for your children to learn to drink responsibly so that they do not end up like your mom?
Do you expect them to never drink at all? Do you think they will learn from their friends or on their own? Or do you plan to provide them with literature and facts to base their decision on? "

When the time comes for my children to be of age to go to sleep overs, parties, ect ect (my children are 5, 4 and 3) then a conversation will be held with their father and I both.

I have no doubt in my mind that at some point in time my children will try alcohol. I refuse to get mad at them or yell at them for it. I will also NEVER tell them not to. Telling a child not to do something is like handing them a free pass to do it, especially in the teen years.

One thing I have noticed, and this is not always the case, but, children or teens involved in after school activities are less at risk for doing drugs or drinking. I know this is not always the case but, my oldest is in an after school program now and my daughter (4) is in dance class. I am aware that these ages are way to young to worry about alcohol.

I would also like to think that my children will look at me as a role model and say "Ah....you know my parents do not drink so maybe, I should not."

I would also hope that when my children get to that age that our relationship and trust will be good enough for them to call me if they have had a few drinks. I would like to be one of those "don't ask, don't tell just glad my child trusted me enough to call me" kind of mom's. You know?

If it should ever become a continuous issue then, yes some kind of talking will be involved but, I would like to think it will never get that far.

Once they turn 18 I suppose they can do as they wish but, if they are living in my home I would expect them to respect my home. The rule of calling mom when I am drunk would still apply.

I am not against drinking and I do not dislike those who do drink. I can agree with the argument of, I would rather have them in my home safe drinking then out on the street doing it. I can 100% agree with that.

Someone had mentioned about their military son (btw give him a thanks for me!) have a beer before heading off. I do find it a bit silly that men and woman at 18 can fight and die for our country but, they can not sit down with dinner and have a beer.

[deleted account]

That is a very interesting perspective, Brittany, but how do you intend for your children to learn to drink responsibly so that they do not end up like your mom?
Do you expect them to never drink at all? Do you think they will learn from their friends or on their own? Or do you plan to provide them with literature and facts to base their decision on?

While I feel that literature and facts are a great starting point, myself, I know that most people will at some point try alcohol to experience it first hand and that someone who has never experienced alcohol can easily drink too much and end up with alcohol poisoning, which can be fatal. Thus, they need to be in a safe place, with people who are responsible and can properly supervise them. I guess I just don't think trying alcohol for the firs time with some friends, or by one's self is a great idea...

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/23/2011

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I would rather create a safe place for them to have a couple of drinks, than out and about, and potentially driving.

[deleted account]

I wouldn't allow other people's children to drink in my home until they were of legal age, but as for my child, I don't think that a beer or glass of wine every once in a while is a problem. I feel that if you outright ban alcohol it makes your child more likely to binge drink or do it in dangerous situations behind your back as a means of rebelling. I wouldn't permit them to get drunk in my home or drink all the time, but the occasional bit of alcohol isn't going to hurt I don't think

Chet - posted on 08/06/2013

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I really, really hope that we will be able to dissuade our kids from drinking or experimenting with drugs in their teens. More and more research is emerging that the teenage years are a time of very rapid brain development and reorganization. Alcohol effects the teen brain differently than the adult brain, and while a lot of the research has looked at the impact of teen binge drinking (not the occasional glass of wine), this may go the way of drinking while you're pregnant - we don't know how much is safe so the recommendation becomes just don't do it. As well, I've been hearing more and more rumblings about how alcohol effects females differently, and how safe daily and weekly limits for women need to be adjusted. So a single wine cooler is not at all the same for a 16 year old girl who weighs a 95 pounds as compared with a 21 year old guy who weighs 185 pounds. About a quarter of teens don't drink at all, and statistically speaking, that population of non-drinkers has the best outcomes. We live in Canada, and while drinking here is legal at 18 or 19 (depending on the province) lots of undergrads don't drink or drink very little because they are too busy studying and working. Some universities even have dry residences for students who don't want to live amid the partying and the problems that go along with that.

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[deleted account]

I think that if you let your child drink at home then that says you approve of it, which may lead to gateway drugs and the kids think that would be ok. I get each side and idk the correct answer. That is a real tough question and I guess it depends on circumstances and the individual. I don't think that if they are over 18 that shouldn't be as big as a problem than a 16 yr old. I believe if they are old enough to fight for our country, get a loan, sign a contract, vote, then drinking is their own choice. Just encourage safe drinking practices with DDs and condoms and safe places. No telling what the right answer is!

Groovy Girl - posted on 08/13/2013

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I am not understanding the "let them drink at home, so they don't go crazy when they are of legal age?? So, do we apply that to smoking and pot?? Still two more things teens are likely to try! Seriously??

Kristi - posted on 02/23/2013

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If we still lived in NNY on the Canadian Border, I would definitely start introducing her to alcohol around 17, if she showed interest in it. I went to Canada all the time, mainly because the clubs were classier and the music was better. I hadn't really started drinking yet.

Um Stacey--Did you ever kiss your husband in front of your kids or was that taboo, too? What about going over the speed limit while they were in the car, even just by 5mph? I'm just wondering why your adult children or even when your children were yong, would they disrespect you for having a glass of wine with dinner or a beer at a family BBQ? If you were responsible what shame is there in that? I am not trying to make light of your comment. I really just don't understand the logic or where you're coming from.

Jodi - posted on 02/23/2013

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Another thought to those who absolutely oppose their child touching a drink until they are 21, just remember that at 18, your child is old enough to legally go overseas on their own, at their own whim, without your approval. In fact, in Australia, a "gap year" between school and university is common. Your child will be able to drink then without your permission......I know I, for one, would much rather know that my child had learned their limitations while still living at home while they have me to fall back on, than while they were in a foreign country.

Kristi - posted on 02/23/2013

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A similar question was posed in another community. It was, at what age would you allow your child to attend byob parties? She said her son was 15 going to be 16. Of course, the responses varied, as they always do, but much the same as here.

I think in this case there are two questions and personally, I have a different answer for each one.

I always answer questions based on the laws of the US because I forget there is a great big world beyond this computer screen so unless someone states otherwise, I just don't even think about it. Kind of pathetic since I've actually been on here for a bit now.

In any event, I think the first question here is would you let your 16+ year old drink in your home with you present. As F-ed up as it is that you can do EVERYTHING at 18 but drink here, I'm not sure if I would let my daughter have a full beer or wine cooler as early as 16. Her birthday is usually one of the first days of school, so she would just be a sophmore. Plus, she still has 5 more years until she's legal and I don't want her to be a social drinker at 19 with no where to go. ; ) Although, so far, she hates the smell of beer and when we let her and her stepbrother try a swig of a cooler at a cook-out (10 and 8, respectively) they both spit it out. So we'll see. By 18, I would absolutely let her drink, responsibly, with me at home and with family only. Shoot, maybe by the time she is 18, they will have put the legal age back where it belongs or raise everything else to 21.

Second question, would you let your child and his/her friends drink at your house. I might consider one or two friends at 18 with parental consent, any car keys would be in my possession and they would be sleeping over. No parties. I could not live with myself if someone got hurt or worse or hurt or killed somebody else because I served them alcohol at my house and then let them drive. IMO, that is just irresponsible and a stupid risk to take. It is also illegal and kind of sets an example that if you think a law is unfair or unjust, you don't have to follow it. I know that applies when it is just you and your kid but you can have an open dialouge with them about it, talk about hypocrisy and how they preceive you in this situation.

I don't know, maybe I'm way off base...but fortunately I have a few years before that comes up, although we've been talking about drugs and alcohol for a couple of years already. Addiction does run on both sides of her family so that kind of worries me. Only time will tell.

Jodi - posted on 02/22/2013

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I know the feeling. We had to go through some of these decisions when my step-daughter was 16-17, and we did allow her to have a drink at Christmas or birthday celebrations before she was 18, but only in a controlled environment at home with us. The next one down the line is going on 16, and he has made it very clear he has no interest in drinking alcohol, he can't even stand the smell of it, so the issue has not raised its head yet.....

However, these years of a child's life are very scary, and it really hit home in these last couple of weeks when we lost my step-son's foster sister (his mother took her in 8 years ago) at age 18 in a car accident. Some days I truly fear for them in these formative years of adulthood, and these things can happen....

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/22/2013

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ARGH, Jodi! It's really come home to roost now that my boy is 18...and thinking about the military. I can't stomach the thought that "they" (the great "protectors of our virtue") think that a person is adult enough at 18 to make the decision join up, but can't handle a beer...

And I really have to shake my head at some responses. You definitely know who lives in the US by the responses...with the rare exception of a few of us who understand that even though we live in the US, our country isn't the "be all end all" of rule makers for the world...I'm actually embarrassed at the extreme naivety of quite a lot of my fellow Americans!

Jodi - posted on 02/22/2013

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"You can't blanket the 21 age, because (to my knowledge) the USA is one of the ONLY countries to force adults to wait until 21 to consume alcohol, but will gladly accept those same adults of 18 into the military so that they can die for their country."

Interesting you mention this Shawnn. It was exactly this reason that Australia moved the legal drinking age to 18 during the Vietnam war. Before that, our drinking age was 21 too.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/22/2013

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Amy Smith, 21 is the legal age in the US. What if you lived in (for example) Germany, where the residential legal drinking age is 16?

You can't blanket the 21 age, because (to my knowledge) the USA is one of the ONLY countries to force adults to wait until 21 to consume alcohol, but will gladly accept those same adults of 18 into the military so that they can die for their country.

21 is a "magic" number that was come up with by the federal government of the United States. All of the arguments that are based on the whole age thing need to realize that the US is one of the worst nanny countries in the world when it comes to dictating to its citizens what is "right".

And, what is truly "right" in this instance is that you, as the parent do have a sort of moral responsibility to teach your kids to be responsible. I consider teaching responsibility in all areas to be my job as a parent. And, all areas includes drinking, driving, working, etc.

And, actually? In the US, most law enforcement would NOT charge you for sharing a drink in your private home with your minor, for the simple fact that they do view it as a responsibility thing. Now, hosting a party? In the US, definitely out. But, in Germany, if my 16 yo wanted to have ale at his birthday, he'd be perfectly within his legal rights to request that.

Amy - posted on 02/22/2013

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NO!!! Plain and simple. If they aren't 21 or over you should NOT allow them to drink. Not to mention, it is against the law. I know some parents say, "well they are doing it anyways, so if they are doing it I would rather it be in my home where I can monitor it." Not a good argument. You can go to jail for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Even if you don't purchase the alcohol, letting them consume it in your house is still illegal.

Candice - posted on 02/12/2013

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When my sisters and I were 16 and older, my parents would make our drinks themselves so they know how much alcohol is in it and they would let us drink with them. They wouldn't let us get trashed or anything like that and it wasnt an every weekend thing. They always told us they would rather do it with us and watch us then doing it behind their backs and end up drinking too much and getting alcohol poisoning and something really bad happening. My sisters and I wouldn't drink without them being around and without their permission. I'm 21 now and I barely drink and when I do, I can't stand my drinks being strong and I know when to stop. I would probably do the same thing for my kids but it would only be my kids, not anybody else's.

Alicia - posted on 01/17/2013

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I wouldn't be supplying a place to party, this will set yourself up for binge drinking. If some thing happens you will be held legally liable not to mention could you live with the guilt of someone potentially getting hurt. It also depends on the maturity of your child, however you might know fully know your child's friends like you know your own. I wasn't allowed to drink underage at my parents home however by boyfriends mom allowed me to have an occasional drink. The whole forbidden fruit concept comes into play. Sounds like they wish to host a party having one friend over is certainly different than having many. If you allow this keep in mind if someone gets hurt you are held liable.

Stacy - posted on 01/13/2013

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Never! I do not drink with my kids or ever have and 2 of them r close to 30. I do have a 20 and 17 yr old but would never drink with them! I want my kids to respect me as a parent which is my job and not one of their friends-I find it wrong at so many levels!

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 09/27/2011

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Marina I knew that, I was just commenting on it. The grape juice was better though. My OBGYN wouldn't let me drink the wine when I was pregnant! And I wish the Catholic church would allow tincture which is dipping the host in the wine. It would avoid a lot of sharing

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

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I have NEVER drank the wine at church....I don't like to share cups :)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

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Because Meggy, supposedly at the last supper, it was wine they drank as a symbol of Jesus' blood. The wafer is a symbol of the body. Different religions, different takes. If we all adapted to each others religion, there would be no differences at all....which could be a good thing...but really it doesn't matter what they use as the symbol.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 09/27/2011

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Odd I thought I posted that I agreed with Rebecca. Aw well. CoM glitch I guess.

The Catholics always seem to go for the wine I don't know why. I've been to Presbytarian churches that serve grape juice instead of wine for communion same with the Methodist Pre-K my older daughter went to. But all the Catholic churches I've gone to serve wine. Also their Lord is a little stale. I wish the Catholic churches would do bread instead of wafers.

Becky, I understand your problem with you husband's siblings. I have a BIL who drinks too much too, he's the reason my younger BIL and his girlfriend moved back with her parents instead of staying with my MIL. My older daughter knows about the consequences alcohol can bring (as well as cigarettes and she is always yelling at my brother or my FIL to stop smoking) So I hope when my girls do reach the legal age in Canada (19) they''ll decide to be responsible or not drink at all because that's pretty much what my husband and I do. He can't drink beer unless it's micro brew and right now I can't drink because I'm breast feeding and I don't drink much in the first place.

I definitely wouldn't want my daughters' friends drinking in my house because of the responsibilty I'd have to take for someone else's child's actions.

Becky - posted on 09/27/2011

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I'm not entirely sure yet where I stand on this issue. My parents never, ever drank when we were growing up, in large part because of their profession. They were missionaries and would've gotten kicked off the field for drinking. That policy has since changed. The boarding school we went to was very conservative and taught us that drinking was evil. That certainly doesn't mean no one did it! I've heard many stories of kids sneaking off into town and getting completely wasted. Some of them are probably lucky they didn't die of alcohol poisoning. So obviously, I do not want to be that extreme, because I don't want my children to feel they have to sneak off and lie about it. Plus, I do enjoy an occassional drink or two. I don't like beer (gross!) or wine though, just the hard stuff! :) Actually, neither of us really enjoy wine, so we're not ones to have a glass of wine with dinner. But my husband does sometimes enjoy a beer with supper or after he's been working in the yard in the summer, and we both like to add a shot of Baileys or something to our hot chocolate or coffee in the winter. So, once the boys are around 16ish, we probably will allow them to have a little Baileys in their hot chocolate or to have a beer with dad after they've been helping him in the yard. My husband used to drink heavily - too heavily - long before we met, so he has a lot more knowledge about it than I do. So I will basically follow his lead on the issue, unless I feel like it's getting excessive. (2-3 beers together every single evening type thing.)

As for their friends, well, the legal age here is 18, so that wouldn't be an issue. However, while I'd be okay with them having a couple of drinks here, I don't want them partying here - you know, the trashing my house, puking on my lawn, and having sex in my bed type of parties. I am not cleaning up after that! Ick! And no, underage friends would not be allowed to drink in our house. In fact, if they were going to have several underage friends present, even if they themselves were over 18, we'd probably just say no alcohol, to avoid any temptation for those who are underage.

My bigger issue is that my husband's siblings really like to drink and party and don't appear to have any issue doing it in front of their children. They live on the other side of the country, so normally, whatever. But it becomes an issue when we go down to visit and we go for a fish fry or something and they're drinking heavily. I don't have a problem with our kids seeing people having a couple of drinks, responsibly, but I don't see their drinking as responsible. I'm not sure how to handle this as our boys get older and more aware of what's going on.

Jodi - posted on 09/27/2011

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They serve red wine at communion.......like, real red wine. My son had it on his first communion when he was only 10. He hated it, so now he refuses it (he will take the *bread*). If my daughter opts to take her first communion (still a couple of years away), she will be 8 and having a sip of wine.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/27/2011

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Well, I would not let my kids have a shot of anything, but a taste of beer, or wine no big deal. When they are old enough, having a full drink of beer would be fine with me. But I don't think I will allow that until they are later in their teens. Hell, if they can go off to war, they should be able to have a beer.

America3437 - posted on 09/27/2011

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I allow my kids to try it if they want and they usually don't think it tastes all that great. I think it is fine for my 14 and 17 yr old to have a shot of tequlia with me but I will never get "drunk" with my kids! As far as someone elses' kids drinking at my home HELL NO! that is not my call and I really don't like jail!

[deleted account]

I would allow my kids to drink at home if we were drinking (e.g., having a glass of wine with dinner if the family is having a glass). But I would definitely not allow other kids to drink at our house without their parents permission under the same circumstances and would certainly not let the kids have a gathering at the house with drinking. I think allowing kids to drink during dinner encourages normal, responsible drinking (vs. binge drinking or drinking to get drunk) and then also eliminates the mystic around drinking. I personally think a kid who has had a beer at home is less likely to go crazy the first time they are offered a beer at a party.

Jocelyn - posted on 09/26/2011

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I will definitely be letting my kids have alcohol when they are older. They can have small sips starting around 12 or so, and then when they are 15+ they will be allowed more. Not every day obviously and I won't be letting them get rip roaring drunk. But I see nothing wrong with letting a 16 year old have a hot spiced rum and water when they have a bad cold, or having a glass of wine or two with my daughter after her boyfriend breaks up with her. If it's not forbidden, then (fingers crossed) that my kids won't be sneaking out to get smashed. Hopefully they will learn to be responsible about it.
As for their friends drinking at my house, if I have spoken with their parents directly, and they have given me permission then yes, I would let them have a drink or two.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 09/25/2011

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My husband and I don't drink in the first place so there's one problem solved. He has too many people who drink to excess in his family and I've never really cared for the taste.

My parents did let my brother (who does drink beer) try alcohol with them present. However it was usually just a sip or two and neither of us has a drinking problem.

I live in Canada right now where the drinking age is 19 (but the gambling age is 21) I will most likely allow my children to try wine or beer with mine and my husband's supervision. I also won't be mad if I found out my daughters did drink under age. My husband's done it- not that this makes it ok. I'd trust that they can make good decisions though and know enough not to drink and drive.

Of course I am a little worried about my girls since there seems to be alcoholism on their dad's sides (I'm adopted so I don't know much about my background)

Jennifer - posted on 09/24/2011

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I've never allowed my kids to drink. It is illegal here for even your children to drink in your presence, so we won't. I feel the 21 law is a bit extreme, and not allowing your own child a bit of beer is stupid, but it is the law. As to teaching my kids to respect it- we talk about it all the time! Both sides of their family have addictive problems, my aunts and uncles have shown their scars from my grandfather beating them while drunk, and so, well, they know that side! They also see me and my husband and my family drink responsibly. They have talked to my European friends about how common it is over there, and how they drank wine as small children. So far, my methods have worked. My children have never drank, not even my 20 year old. He probably never will, though, but my other kids do seem to have a healthy additude, also. They have respect without fear, which is what I want!

Amy - posted on 09/24/2011

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No way would I let other's people's underage kids drink in my home. I wouldn't let my own do it either, though. My husband and I don't drink, for many reasons which we will share with our children. Coming from a family with lots of addictive personalities is one reason. I also hope we can instill respect for rules and authority into our children, and a legal drinking age is a rule. Did I drink before I turned 21 - yes (mainly in college). Will my kids try alcohol as teens? Probably, but I hope we can talk about why I wish they wouldn't drink. I also hope that seeing you can have fun without alcohol will help. At least that's the example I hope we are setting!

Krista - posted on 09/24/2011

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I agree with your last bit, Brittany. I think it's almost obscene that a 19-year old in the US can get married, have a baby, start a company, drive a car, own a home, die for his or her country...but can't have a frigging glass of wine.

Kate CP - posted on 09/24/2011

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I have no problem letting MY kids drink at home. Other kids? Nope. Not my kids, not my responsibility. I won't go to jail for letting other people's kids drink in my house. :P

[deleted account]

Yeah, I don't know either Kelly. My parents NEVER drank. We never had alcohol in the house. My brother started drinking in his teens (no clue WHEN.. I was aware at 14.. when he was 17)... and hasn't stopped. I did a little alcohol experimentation between 14 and 21, never been drunk, and only been mildly buzzed a couple of times around 17.... Have had maybe enough alcohol to equal one drink since turning 21 (almost 14 years ago) and not a drop of that in the past 11ish years....

I don't have any answers. All I've got is my life. ;)

[deleted account]

Teresa, I don't really have a suggestion. That's why I asked.

I agree with you, I don't think someone who does not drink or has an aversion to alcohol should have to buy alcohol to give their kids, especially if the parent is recovering from alcoholism or has had bad experiences with alcohol.

I guess, if they know their kid is ready to try alcohol, maybe they could have a trusted, adult friend teach them? Even if they insist the child wait until legal age, I think it is best to have a responsible adult around the first time a young person drinks alcohol.

Sherri - posted on 09/24/2011

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No never!!! I would be sent to jail if these kids ever had a gathering and went home having drank alcohol. So no it will never be allowed or supplied by us.



Laws are extremely strict on this and I intend to follow them. A sip is one thing but a whole drink no we will not be allowing it and the sip would only be my own kid.

Jenni - posted on 09/24/2011

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Now this is a long way off... but I don't think I would condone 'getting drunk' in my house before 18. But I have no objections to a glass of wine with dinner, for a special occasion, after the age of 14-16 (depending on the maturity of the child). The legal age here is 19.



My mother's side is Danish so it was pretty normal for our family (my brother, sister and cousins) to have a half glass of wine with dinner on Christmas Eve after the age of 10. Sounds pretty crazy now, when I think of it. But that's how it was in my family. We never got drunk though. I don't recall getting drunk with my mom/stepdad until I was 24!

Mrs. - posted on 09/23/2011

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Both of my parent's father's had serious booze issues, along with several of my uncles. Because of that, my parents knew that demonizing drinking only makes it that much more appealing. We were allowed to drink if we wanted. We hardly ever did. There was no mystery to it and we learned to drink in moderation, if at all.

Personally, I plan to do the same with my daughter.

Jurnee - posted on 09/23/2011

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I've allowed my children to drink in my home under the legal age, about 17 or 18 if I recall. I also let a few of my sons friends drink at my sons party before he left for boot camp. I had their parents permission and their keys, and it was just a few beers. I know my kids drank at friends houses as well. When they went away to college/military, I know they drank. I dont make a big deal of it, my children have always seen me having a glass of wine, or a beer now and then after dinner. The oldest 2 drink responsibly and occasionally now.

[deleted account]

My dad's story sounds similar to Brittany's story. I can guarantee that my dad did not turn out a binge drinking daughter. I'm a responsible drinker. :)

[deleted account]

What do you suggest then, Kelly (not picking on you, just asking)? Should a person who doesn't drink alcohol and doesn't want to ever be around it go out and buy some just so their kids can drink at home? That definitely wouldn't make any sense. ;)

Sarah - posted on 09/23/2011

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In Texas, the legal drinking age is 21, but obviously young people aren't always going to follow the rules lol.

I'm not really an alcohol drinker...maybe a margarita or a long island on occasion. Mmmm. :) My husband drinks beer socially & occasionally he'll buy a 12 pack or something to drink over a few days. I can see my husband sharing a beer with my son when he's older...maybe 16 or 17. I don't really have a problem with that.

As far as letting my son's friends drink at my house...hell no. Unless they are 21, of course. I wouldn't want to deal with the other parents & the possibility of getting in trouble for providing alcohol to a minor. No thanks.

Brittany - posted on 09/23/2011

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To bring something to light,

My Mama is 50 years old, she is in a nursing home, she will be on blood thinners for the rest of her life because, they can not stop blood clots from forming in her lungs, her liver is all but gone and she can not walk. All of this because, my whole life she was an alcoholic. I do not mean a 6 pack or a 12 pack a night I mean a 24 pack a day. My Mama is 4'9 and a few months ago she weighed 78 pounds. She is now up to 90.

Needless to say, No my children are never allowed to drink in my home under any circumstance. I began drinking when I was 13. I would go to school drunk and somehow managed to stay on honor roll. I made the decision to never drink again when I moved in with my dad at the age of 17. It is very few far and in between that I do have a drink. I had 1/2 a glass of win back in January when Auburn won the BCS National Championship.

I do not have an issue with other people drinking, so I am not trying to bash anyone. I just prefer it not be in my home.

[deleted account]

I'm in the US. In my state it is legal to give your own child alcohol to be consumed on your own property. (If it were NOT legal, I would be completely against it). I think it is very important to teach kids to drink responsibly, and the safest place for them to experiment is at home under close supervision. I also know that few kids wait until their 21st birthday to start drinking, so I will be teaching my son before he is 21. That said, I will NOT be serving anyone else's child.



I feel that if alcohol is not taboo, and my child KNOWS how to consume it, meaning he knows how different types and quantities affect his body, he will act responsibly when he is drinking away from me, and know how to follow the ques his body gives him.



I don't remember how old I was when I started drinking....early teens, maybe 14 or 15? My parents knew, for the most part, but there was drinking behind their backs as well.

Jodi - posted on 09/23/2011

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Ditto what Erin said.

My step daughter is 19, and we allowed her to have a drink at Christmas and on her birthday, or other special occasions when she was about 16.

Ez - posted on 09/23/2011

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Same as Krista here too. Legal age is 18 in Aus, so I would have no problem with her having a drink or two at home with me. But the only way another child will be allowed is if I have the express permission of their parents. I will not undermine another parent by enabling their child to disobey or deceive them.

I was allowed to drink at 16, and while I certainly did binge sometime, it didn't affect the rest of my life. I didn't get in any trouble with drugs or drink driving. I still went to school, worked a part-time job and played competitive sport.

I see this sort of thing as an earned luxury. If my daughter has proven herself to be responsible and respectful, I will trust her to do with right thing and drink in an acceptable fashion. If she is a tear away, forget it.

Stifler's - posted on 09/23/2011

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Yeah probably. Damian and I both drink alcohol the kids will probably end up having a taste around 16 but there won't be raging parties and I won't be the cool parents who lets everyones' kid drink behind their back. I started drinking at 15 and my parents are still in denial that I drink.

[deleted account]

My parents were (are) 100% opposed to drinking...much like Lisa's. But unlike Lisa's parents, my dad explained his reasoning to me. His mother (my grandmother) didn't have a father in her life because of alcoholism. He decided at a young age to never touch the stuff, because he didn't want to ruin his own family. That made sense to me. As I got older, it made sense to me that alcohol in moderation is okay. So I drink on occasion. I will teach my children about alcohol based on my experiences...what my dad taught me and what I eventually realized for myself. I won't have a problem with my children having a small glass of wine on occasion depending on their maturity level.

Lady Heather - posted on 09/23/2011

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Yeah, she can have a glass of wine with dinner. I was allowed to when I was a teenager and it certainly never did me any harm. Other peoples' kids - I would need parental permission confirmed in person. My parents and my friends' parents sort of had an arrangement that way so that there were always adults around and no one was driving. I don't know if that is a small town type thing. Everybody knew everybody else and things were pretty casual.

My kids can obviously drink with their friends when they are 19 and 20 because it is perfectly legal here. I wouldn't really want them all lying around my house wasted though because drunk people annoy the bejebus out of me.

Johnny - posted on 09/23/2011

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Ditto to Krista. The drinking age here is 19, so starting then of course friends can drink in our home. But before the legal age, it will only be my own child allowed to do so. The legal ramifications are too severe to allow other people's children to do so, plus, I think it is disrespectful to other parents. Our daughter, as long as she is responsible and mature for her age, will be allowed small amounts of wine or beer at special dinners or bbq's starting at around 16. That's how I was raised, same with hubby and my own parents

Lady - posted on 09/23/2011

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In the UK the drinking age is 18 so no I would have no problem letting a group of teen drink in my house. I plan on letting my children ahve a beer or glass of wine at arounf the age of 14 15 - My friends let their 6 year old have watered down wine like may europeans. I want them to be aware of alcohol see it as something in life that's about and not just like a big secret that they do when they're out with their friends. I know they will get drunk - we all have, but I don't want them sneeking off all the time.

Minnie - posted on 09/23/2011

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Ditto Krista. We're ok with wine with family dinners, in our home. No way would I have other underage people drinking in our home though.



My mother labeled alcohol evil and of the devil (naturally, her father and brother were alcoholics and the church didn't help her stance any) so when I went to college I drank myself silly- probably not to the extent of other students though, it was one or two nights. I'm thankful I didn't get hurt any more than whacking my forehead on a table and I'm ALSO thankful for the massive hangover the next day- made me never want to do it again.



She never explained to me why she didn't like alcohol, just railed on and on about it- so I never went to college with any scruples or responsibility regarding it.

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