Level of Education

[deleted account] ( 27 moms have responded )

Is it important that your spouse/partner has the same level of education as you? Exceeds your level of education? What expectations do you have for your children? Is this even an important issue these days?

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For many years, matching the level of education was always a top priority. I always imagined side-by-side matching college diplomas hanging on the wall together. Hubby and I met in college in 1993. I graduated, he did not. I went on with my Master's Degree + 15 credits beyond. Hubby probably has a good 50-60 salvageable credits. I always wanted him to finish and at least earn his Bachelor's Degree. Maybe one day, but honestly a college degree would be useless for him now in his career. For my son, I do expect him to at least attempt college. It is my hope that he completes his degree, but I also have to be realistic to other career paths he may chose like culinary or automotives. If he choses that type of vocational path, I'd still llike him to pursue a Business degree.

How about the rest of you?

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Krista - posted on 09/11/2011

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Level of education is not as important as intelligence. I've met some Ph.Ds who are brilliant in their respective fields, but can barely tie their own shoes.

My husband is a college dropout, but he has an extremely broad base of knowledge, is a voracious reader, has traveled, follows the news closely, and is constantly curious to learn more about things.

For my children, I do expect them to take some form of post-secondary education, but whether that's in the form of a trade school, a community college or even university is utterly irrelevant. As long as they are doing honest work that makes them happy and that allows them to support themselves, and as long as they remain open-minded and intellectually curious, that's good enough for me.

JuLeah - posted on 09/11/2011

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It is important to me ... my friends or girl friends don't need to have the same degree exactly, but ... close - I mean a different field is cool, because we have a different base



There are always exceptions - always. My grandmother had an 8th grade education. She was very very bright - in part because she read everything she got her hands on - read about all topics, science, math, politics, art, history .....



And, but ... often when I meet adults that don't have an education, the conversation we have is different then when I speak with adults who have an education



Not that I can't or don't learn something from them ... this is not about IQ .... maybe I am not phrasing this well ... and I will likely be yelled at for it, so maybe I should stop before my foot goes any further into my mouth



Ohh, but yes, my child will attend college

[deleted account]

I know exactly what you are saying JuLeah...



Anyway, at the time I was "looking" college education was important to me. Not so much the actual education that they had, but the fact that earning a degree signified that the person had the determination and discipline to finish something big and long term, and had a desire to learn more, not stop learning at the first chance he got.



My husband is more educated than I am. He has a Bachelors degree and Professional Engineer Certification in 6 states in his field.



I had to quit college 2 years in to fight cancer. I managed to fight and go to school for the first 2 years, but by year three, I had to be on campus and my chemo rounds were increased, so I could only do spring semester. I always thought I'd finish, but by the time cancer was in remission, the business I'd started on my computer was booming and I was making a lot more than even the best graphic designers make, so I put it off. Then I got married, and had a baby, so I continued to put it off. I am now a very happy sahm, so I don't need a degree, but I feel "unfinished" I know it's pointless to get a degree I won't use, but it irks me that I don't have one. Yet, I don't have the desire and dedication to go back and get one either....plus, what to get it in? I don't want to be a graphic designer anymore....

Johnny - posted on 09/11/2011

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My hubby and I have similar levels of schooling, but it was not a factor in my interest in him. I have two bachelors degrees and he has a bachelors and a technical degree. My husband was actually the first man I was with who ever had a similar education level. One of my exes had a phd and was a moron and another a GED and was also a moron. So I was just interested in guy who wasn't a moron.

As for kids, I just want them to pursue their passion and work hard to succed in it. We are saving for college, but if she chooses another path the money can be used for other things.

Rosie - posted on 09/11/2011

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it's not really important to me. i'd like them to have a highschool diploma or GED but that's all that really matters to me.
chad and i are fairly even. i went to college and spent a year there, dropping out halfway through my last semester. he didn't even attempt college. if i had gone on and done all sorts of awesome things with my college career, it wouldn't change how i feel about him.

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Karen - posted on 08/08/2012

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No, as long as you each respect each other's path. DH likes to claim that he is younger than me because he graduated after me, but he put himself through and i was lucky enough not to have to do that and got through in 4 years. If both parties have the training to do what they want to do and didn't just slack their way through their education and training then its OK. However, if one only did the bare minimum it could be a problem. Plus, the one with the higher level cannot look down on the other. I have a good friend who became a welder after school (then got her company to pay for 2 advanced degrees!) However, I have just as much respect for her without the degrees because she completed a tough apprenticeship to do what she loves to do, she only got the degrees because she wanted to and they were offering to pay for them. Were I to be married to her I would have no issues with "just a" journeyman's card because she has the training to do what she wants and loves to do.

Tyrae - posted on 09/13/2011

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I wanted at least a high school diploma. I was (and am) not going to marry or be with anyone without a high school diploma. From there on it was completely up to them.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 09/12/2011

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I have a year of college in Conservation and Enviromental Science. Plus I'm a certifired Care Aide and Phlebotomist. My husband is studying 3D Animation and Game Design. He has some college credits for something else as well. I'm hoping after my Marriage Visa goes through I can go back to school for my LPN.

I don't feel it's necessary that my husband has the same ammount of schooling as I do because that doesn't define everything about your personality. My ex husband is using military loans to take college courses and he's still an idiot socially. My DH and I have different credits and career path choices. Heck he did sysmic (however you spell it) for half a year and can still help with some of that. We're both history geeks and enjoy debating about religion as well.

My 6 year old has been talking about becoming a doctor since last year so of course she'd have to go to college for that. I believe even if she wanted to pursue her other dream as a 'pet babysitter' she'd need some veterinary science courses. She could probably become a doctor if she wanted to since she's already ahead of her class in math.

I don't look down on people who haven't gone to college, some people aren't academically motivated. My brother never went and he has a steady job working for Frito Lay back in New York with better benefits than my mom who has some college education. His benefits are on par with my mom's older sister who is an accountant for the Diocese of Rochester and made the Who's Who list of college students for a Florida University. I hated how condescending this one woman was I took care of as a Care aide was towards me since I wasn't a nurse. She even told me I shouldn't tell someone where to stick me with a needle and what type because I don't have my RN. I'm a certified phlebotomist for El's sake! All I do is needles!

I hope my other kids will at least attempt college. My DH is already training our baby to like video games.

Lacieann - posted on 09/12/2011

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I would like to go back to college, though I don't feel it's necessary for my partner to match me. I do expect my kids to go to college or continue their education after high school. I am already saving for them to help with tuition. Though they won't get the money until after they are out of school. It's more to help them pay off their loans.

April - posted on 09/12/2011

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I have a B.S. and a M.S. degree , but my husband only has an Associate's. In all honesty, I think it causes problems sometimes.

[deleted account]

A part of me is ready to go back for school. Maybe I just have this quest for continued education and learning. This time around, I want to get my Master's in Educational Counseling. I don't see myself stuck in the classroom much longer, but I do see myself in the Guidance Counselor Department. I just enjoy learning and moving my career around, all within the Education field. It still would be nice one day, to hang up hubby's college diploma. One day!

Amber - posted on 09/12/2011

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It isn't a must, but it is nice. I've dated both, but connected more with those who were more education minded. I find that I have more to talk about with them. That's just been my personal experience.

I have my bachelors and will finish my masters in 18months, then I'm done. Chad has his masters and is going for his MD. He's a little ahead of me, but we're on fairly even ground. It also has helped because we both have good careers and don't have a lot of money worries to cause arguments or tension.

We're saving for our children's college already, but if they decide not to go, I'll be fine with that. As long as they are doing something productive with their lives and are happy, I'll be happy for them and support their decisions.

[deleted account]

Education is very important to me. I have a bachelor and master to be...what else?...a teacher. Getting a PhD is on my bucket list. But that's ME personally. I don't care what anyone else does as long as they can support themselves and they are happy.

My husband only obtained degrees so that he could have a good paying job. He graduated from high school and immediately went to work as a mechanic's assistant. He hated the long hours, working outside, and low pay. So he got an associates in Emergency Health Science to be a paramedic. Great job for a bachelor, but it pays squat. So he decided he wanted to be a physicians assistant. He finished his bachelor's and was ready to apply to PA school, but had a change of heart. He went back and got an associates in nursing and that's what he is now.

We're VERY happy with the job he was able to get with his degrees. His schedule and pay level gives us flexibility as a family.

I want so bad to be able to pay for my children to get any amount of education they want, wherever they want. I'll be happy whether that means Aveda Hair School or Harvard Law, as long as THEY are happy with their choices.

Stifler's - posted on 09/12/2011

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No. I have more education than he does. He will probably always make more money than me and that's all I care about, him being happy with his job and loving what he does. I have a cert 3 in aged care and deferred my bachelor of nursing until i am ready to start going back and he's a trainer assessor.

Anna - posted on 09/12/2011

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I have an associates and a technical degree from a community college. My husband graduated from law school. Different means to the same end. We both went to college in order to obtain a degree that would allow us to work in a field that interested us. Neither of us went as a way of proving to the world that we are intelligent people. I would say that at this point in our marriage, I feel the difference most keenly in that he goes to work while I'm a SAHM. It would likely be the same difference no matter our college education.

There are people with advanced degrees on both ends of the political spectrum. You can be religious, atheist or agnostic and still have a PHD. You can also be an intelligent person without having one. Differing levels of education does not mean you have nothing in common. Not to demeen a college education, it is what it is and it can be very beneficial for some. If you choose it because it's just what everyone else is doing, you could end up spending a bunch of time and cash figuring out that it's nothing more then a paper to you. College can be good but it isn't everything.

Jenni - posted on 09/12/2011

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I'm a college/university drop out. I didn't even make it past my first year. My husband has his baH in Environmental Studies.



I prefer a partner with a higher education than me. Or at least I thought it was important. I thought it would determine whether or not he could hold stimulating conversation. But like Krista said, I think intelligence is more important now.



My husband, although he has acquired a decent amount of knowledge isn't exactly talented in the art of conversation. Mostly, because he just isn't a talker. I'd say I've acquired more general knowledge than him based on my eclectic lifestyle and my Gemini's thirst for acquiring knowledge. I'm a collector of facts and information. I'm a bit disorganized and my filing habits tend to be messy so retrieving that information can pose difficult at times. :S



I've met college/university graduates that I can feel at par with. As well as non-graduates.



It's a bit of a correlation does not equal causation. Generally, if you're intelligent, you'll pursue higher education. But lack of, does not necessarily equal lack of intelligence or knowledge. As does having a degree does not automatically equal intelligence and knowledge.



As for career paths.... my husband has not and will probably never be employed in his field. He works in a factory. So imo his degree was a waste of his parent's money. Of course it depends on what degree you pursue. Considering where I live you have to at least obtain a graduate degree (6-8 years) before being employed in your field. It is a price that is simply unattainable for some.



Sadly, opportunity and finance is the cause of many people who could obtain a degree, from obtaining one.



Besides, considering I'm a college/univ drop out with little prospects. I can't exactly afford to be picky with what education my partner has. Somehow I doubt a hot doctor would ever give someone like me the time of day! I mean, good grief... I've been blown off by a medical secretary for my apparent lack of being at the same educational level.



Intelligence and knowledge are fine and dandy but mine, with lack of degree and training, tends to be wasted on an online chat forum. No offense. I just mean that I could be using it to some purpose. And I feel like a wastoid.



As for my kids, I'm going to lean towards wanting them to pursue a post secondary education. It will open up more doors for them. I didn't have much guidance in my career pursuits. So I plan on arming them with a much information as I can on vocational choices. I want to guide them toward finding a career they will both be passionate about, as well as one that has opportunity for employment in that field.

[deleted account]

I hope some of you did not interpret the intent of the post by asking if the level of soneone's education was something to judge. It isn't. A formal post-high school education in any career will sometimes define a person, but certainly not always. And please know I do not judge someone based on their level of education. Like I said in my original post, it was important for many years that my husband and I both had degrees. It was anticipated that we both graduate together i n 1996. That level of importance is no longer there. A degree would not define who he is as a husband.

Sal - posted on 09/12/2011

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not something i had ever thought about, my hubby has a dipoloma, i never quite finshed uni, we have similar interlects i guess (but he can spell-lol)the only one of my friends who holds the theory that you need at least an equal education is still single at 38.....

Lady - posted on 09/12/2011

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My husband has more further education than I do - he has an university degree where as I just have a college education.
I don't think that's what's important but I do feel that we have a similar level of intelligence and I think that's important. He is quite intellectual and enjoys discussing things - politics, religion, cuurent affairs - he can't read the newspaper or watch the news without discussing every single topic - so he needs to be with someone who he can do that with - if I had no interest (like a lot of mums I know) in anything like the subjects that he finds so interesting then our marriage could never work.
I do expect my children to go onto some form of higher education, whether that's uni or not we'll see - I suspect that for my two older children it will be - for the younger ones I need to wait til their older before I'll know where their intrests lie.

Charlie - posted on 09/12/2011

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Not at all , Im interested in him as a person not his academics or path to a career.

[deleted account]

It does not matter much to me. I dropped out senior year in highschool, two weeks shy of graduating, but im far from unintelligent. My husband went to college for a while (before we met) but never finished. We each know more than the other on some subjects, and we each want to constantly learn more.

I would love for my kids to finish school and go to college, but college is not something im ever going to push on them. As long as they find something they want to do and are happy doing it, then ill be happy.

Becky - posted on 09/11/2011

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It's not a big deal to me. I have more education than my husband - I have a Bachelors of Social Work and will likely return for my Masters eventually. He went to trade school. I will admit, sometimes communication between us is a little difficult because I use words he doesn't know. Honestly though, I'm no sure whether that comes from our different post secondary educations or our very different primary and secondary educational experiences. I went to a private school and grammar and writing skills were highly emphasized. My husband says he got through highschool without ever having to write a report! I mentioned doing a thesis the other day, if I went back for my Masters, and he didn't know what that was.
Education is important to me. It is important to me that my kids do their best and learn how to think critically and make good decisions. I do hope they pursue some type of post secondary education, but it's not important to me that it be university or college. I just want them to be able to have a career that makes them happy.

Sarah - posted on 09/11/2011

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Nah, it's not all that important to me. I have a Bachelor's Degree, but I'm not even using it lol. My husband, on the other hand, dropped out of college about halfway through. He has a good job that he enjoys for the most part, but he would still like to finish up his degree eventually. He's hoping that his job will pay for him to go back to school to get his Bachelor's.

As far as our kids go, I'm not going to push them one way or another. My husband was pushed into doing what his PARENTS wanted FOR him & that got him all kinds of screwed up. I will *encourage* our kids to go to college, but I won't be obsessive and crazy over it like my hubby's parents were.

Amie - posted on 09/11/2011

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Not at all. I went to uni for 3 years (quitting in the 3rd year halfway through), my husband never went at all.

I could go back and finish my last year of finance but my 2 yr diploma is good enough for me. lol My husband has no interest at all and he makes enough money to support us all and then some.

I'm not worried about it. Even for my own children. Their college funds don't have to be used at a university, it can be used for trades, etc. My brother is a very successful journeyman autobody tech. One of his friends is a successful chef here in our city.

I honestly don't care what my children choose to do - so long as they love what they are doing. That matters more than anything to me. I only took finance at my parents behest. I am very good with anything related to maths. I wanted to be a social worker but they talked me out of it, convincing me my heart couldn't take it. They were probably right but I'm not going to do that to my own children. I won't push or prod or judge them, my husband or anyone else.

So long as a person loves their job/career, they are happy, they can carry on a conversation, are (basically) a well rounded adult - I don't care about their level of education.

Lady Heather - posted on 09/11/2011

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It's never been important to me. We both have bachelor's degrees, but I did tell my husband when he was halfway through his engineering degree and miserable that I wouldn't love him any less if he decided to be a mechanic instead. He decided to stick it out and he's got a career he loves today. I don't think any education is worth it if it doesn't bring you some sort of satisfaction at some point. So if he was just going to school because he felt like he had to and was miserable and then graduated and worked at a job he hated forever...well...I'd rather be with a happy tradesperson or something.

Ez - posted on 09/11/2011

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It's not something I'm conscious of when meeting new people. I have a university degree, but it has never been an important part of my life. I would never judge a prospective partner based on their level of education. I see no need to. I *will* judge them on how productive they are in the world though. If they can't hold down a job and/or show no motivation to find some stability, then I'm unlikely to want to be around them. If they happened to find their passion at 16, left school and started an apprenticeship, I am full of respect.

This was actually the case with one of my exes. He left school after year 10, got his trade as a Diesel/Plant Mechanic and by 21 had his own business working in the mines. He had rental properties by 24, expanded his business to employ some more guys, and worked his ass off. I don't understand how him having a degree would have made him a more worthy partner or person.

As for my daughter, my only expectation is that she apply herself and be responsible. I have no idea what her interests are going to be, so I will be happy as long as she does her best. If that means university, I will support her and help her as much as I can. If it's a trade or entry-level job that she loves, I will respect her choices.

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