Look at me and Listen

Nicole - posted on 01/18/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )

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Do you get your child to look you in the eye when you are saying something important to them? Is it wrong to expect this of children?

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Jodi - posted on 01/18/2011

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I never really thought about it, but now that you ask, yes I do. I think a big reason why I do is because my oldest had hearing problems when he was younger, and I had to have him look at me for him to hear me properly and for me to make sure he DID hear me properly. We discovered when he was about 4 that he was actually lip reading!! So yes, I actually do have them look at me, and often get down to their level too (although with my son these days, he looks into my eye standing up, LOL).

[deleted account]

I do make my daughter look me in the eye when we're talking. She's easily distracted and I want to know that she's listening and hearing me. It's a matter of respect, and I do and will expect it of my children (they're 2 1/2 and 7 months).

Amie - posted on 01/18/2011

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I do. Keeping eye contact is an important part of actually hearing someone. They need to learn to focus and not pay attention to distractions so they can listen properly.



If you can't listen, you don't hear. Then you might as well be taking to a wall. A lot of children don't know how to listen, a lot of adults too for that matter. =/

[deleted account]

I have a "tone" I use when I want her to pay attention. I get on her level and tap my nose to draw attention to my face and say, "Look at Mama." This usually gets her attention long enough for me to say what I need to say. And I only do this for important things...so she knows it's important.

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Bonnie - posted on 01/19/2011

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I find eye contact is very important and it helps them to know you are serious when they look at you.

Melissa - posted on 01/19/2011

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defintely. They dont pay attention othewise. especially if she is carrying on as toddlers do about slly little things or if they have somethign taken off them. I tell her she needs to lok at me and when she is settled enough to hear what I am saying and when she is looking in my eyes I will tlk to her

[deleted account]

Yep i sure do. With 3 children doing this that or the other thing it's the only way i can make sure they have heard me. I also get them mainly miss 4 to repeat things if i think she hasn't heard or it's important.

Meghan - posted on 01/18/2011

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I actually am really lucky with J in this area. He has always been really expressive and communicates through eye contact. If he is being a butt-head and ignoring my I will say "Mommy needs you to look at her while we talk please" He gets it too well though because when he has something that is "important" (ie. showing me how spiderman shoots his web for the 80th time in a row) and I am busy doing homework or making dinner he says "I have to tell you something mom! Look at my eyes!"

I also DO make sure when he is thanking someone or using other manners that he is looking at them...this one is kinda tricky right now, but he is getting there!

Charlie - posted on 01/18/2011

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It's important to look a person in the eye when they are talking to you so yes I do get my eldest to look me in the eye .

Stifler's - posted on 01/18/2011

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My kid isn't really old enough but I think ti's a good way to tell if they're paying attention to what you're saying.

Joanna - posted on 01/18/2011

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I always do for important info, and most of the time for everything else. She has the shortest attention span and her mind will wander if she's not looking at me.

Becky - posted on 01/18/2011

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I don't very often, but I should. Cole does listen better when he's looking at me while I'm talking. I'm going to try the getting him to repeat back to me what I said too.

Johnny - posted on 01/18/2011

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I do ask her to "look in mommy's eyes" when I have something important to say to her. It might be disciplinary, but sometimes I do it just to tell her how proud of her I am. I've observed lots of kids who refuse to look adults in the eye. In childcare places I've worked, it seems a common issue. It's understandable if the only time a child is told to look someone in the eye is when they are getting in trouble. So I'm hoping to make it so my daughter knows that it's not always going to be because she is in trouble. It might just be nice or because there is important information to share.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 01/18/2011

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Eyes are a communication tool and are VERY important when doing so.

So no…even as a baby eye contact is key

Amie - posted on 01/18/2011

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Oh another good thing to work on while doing this (when they're talking obviously) is to get them to repeat back what you've said to them. It helps them retain the information.

[deleted account]

i get Gabby to look at me so she pays attention, i dont force her to. Its respectful in out society to look people in the eyes when talking to them. So i will teach her my customs. Not as a forceful thing though, as simple respect for other people in general.

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