Love or Money?

Cathelijn - posted on 02/27/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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At the moment here in the UK there is a lot going on with footballers( soccer) cheating on their wives One of them cheated on his wive with her friend which was one of his friends and England team mates ex-girlfriend. When it all came out his wive went to Dubai with their twins he followed her a few days later and the next day they were lounging by the pool laughing.

Ofcourse we don't know what exactly has gone on and there are kids involved but to me it just looks like she has chosen the easy way out she has a nice and easy life she doesn't have to worry about money, she doesn't have to work, she lives '' the dream''.

I just wonder what would you choose? I think I would have at least let him sweat a bit and to let the world know that you are not ok with this I think it is a really bad example to young girls, its kind of like if he has loads of money he can do whatever he likes

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Tah - posted on 03/03/2010

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all it takes where i live is BAH and tricare health insurance for women to let it happen over and over...its sad...like i said on another post...IF I forgave once...and he would work triple time for it...that would be the last time..you don't get to keep cheating because you are rich, or the bread winner and holder of the insurance....i would take 7 vitamin c's a day and a spoonful of castor oil while i waited for the insurance from my job to kick in before i sold off little pieces of me...dignity, respect, self esteem....you don't have enough to buy those things from me...

Sharon - posted on 03/03/2010

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Well. Most wives do forgive their husbands for an affair. And read the Welcome forum... buncha morons there forgive their husbands OVER AND OVER AND OVER its difficult to believe.



Throw in a million dollars, someone you love(d), a basically good life.... what not forgive?



I always said if a man cheated on me, I'd cut his nuts off and pitch him out the door. Now... 15+ years later, a mortgage payment, 3 kids who adore their dad, and trying to imagine doing this all on my own? I'd gamble - work on forgiveness and trust.

Lyssie - posted on 03/03/2010

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I think that any woman that puts up with cheating is foolish. They got away with it once, and you expect them to believe that you won't let them get away with it again? And if this woman is staying with her husband just because of the lifestyle and the money, that makes her no better than a prostitute, in my book.

Tah - posted on 03/03/2010

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love of course....but those who chose money..have fun spendng it on your STD meds...if your rich and self-absorbed and disrespectful..keep it.....i have struggled before and i'll do it again..i'd eat burgers with someone who loved me before caviar with a cad....

Sara - posted on 03/03/2010

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I'd rather be with someone who didn't have a lot of money but respected me and our relationship than with someone who didn't respect me and treated me like a kept woman.



My older sister is married to a man who owns his own business, and they A LOT of money. They own a half million dollar home in the suburbs of Indianapolis, they have 5 cars (a couple of which are purely ornamental), they own a 250 acre property about 2 hours outside the city and have a 7 bedroom 4 bath log cabin on it, along with a couple of other recreational vehicles. She stays at home to raise their 12 and 10 year old children. People would look at her and say that she has it all, but she's miserable (and now an alcoholic to boot). Her husband is the world's biggest asshole, he treats no one with any respect including her. A few years ago, she lost 70 lbs, went from a size 16 to a size 4. She had a breast reduction and tummy tuck, she looks great. But, I have heard her husband tell her more than once that if she ever gets "fat" again, then he'll leave her. That's just true love, isn't it? People pass off his comments saying that he's joking, including my parents, and I think they let him get away with the behavior because he has money. But I find him rude and chose not to be around him. As a result, my relationship with my sister, whom I used to be close with, is almost non-existent. It upsets me and my two other sisters because we feel that she choses to keep her comfortable lifestyle over her own family and her own needs. We've come to terms with the fact that she has made her choices, she knows how we all feel. So, in conclusion, I'd rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable. Though I like to think that I've been able to find a happy medium, because I'm not poor and I'm not rich and I'm happy with my husband, who respects me and loves me no matter what.

Isobel - posted on 02/28/2010

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I don't know if the footballer's wives is as much about money though, as it is about fame...I think when you marry somebody who has beautiful women throwing themselves at him constantly, you come to expect that a few of them will make it past the goalie... I think a lot of women love their husbands (they can divorce and keep half the money remember) enough to stay and just accept that one aspect of the marriage is going to suck.

Esther - posted on 02/28/2010

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Yeah, it's hard to say what exactly goes on behind closed doors. I've been through a relationship crisis involving my husband cheating on me and I know what it's like. I also know that I felt VERY judged by a lot of my friends for staying. I didn't give my husband a free pass (I made him get tested, we did a LOOOOOOT of talking, a lot of crying, he did a lot of apologizing at all hours of the day etc.) but I felt that overall my relationship was still worth fighting for and working on. Of course money wasn't exactly a factor :)) Anyway, while we were in the middle of that, I'm sure we had moments where we still laughed too. And kissed. It's very very complicated and very very messy and personal. So I can see where it would be possible where they were sitting by the pool and laughing and yet she's still not just looking the other way for the sake of her lifestyle. If she is however, I agree that that would be wrong and a very poor example to set for the kids. As Dr Phil would say though, if you marry for money, you will end up earning every penny of it. And that's probably true too.

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