Missouri mom: Kindergartner humiliated after being denied bathroom break

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 04/23/2012 ( 36 moms have responded )

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A Missouri mother says her 6-year-old daughter was humiliated after she was denied a bathroom break in her kindergarten class and was forced to sit in her diarrhea during a test session at school.



"They didn't even bother trying to clean her up or anything. She still had poop, diarrhea poop, coming out the back, up her front, down her legs," said the mother, Lisa Skidmore of Washburn, Mo., told KY3-TV on Tuesday.



While tests are not administered until the third grade, the child's kindergarten teacher was sticking to MAP testing guidelines in efforts to simulate the stringent rules to prepare students for what's to come, School District Superintendent Bob Walker told KY3-TV on Tuesday.



"Bottom line, we regret what happened," Walker told KY3-TV.



Walker, who was contacted by msnbc.com on Thursday, said he met with the child’s parents on Wednesday.



“From our view point, this is a confidential matter and in regards to the media, we want it to remain that way,” Walker told msnbc.com.



In earlier interviews, Walker said he instructed teachers to be more sensitive to situations that might arise during tests.



"I don't want this to happen to any other kid. That's the point of this: I don't want this ever happening,” Walker said, according to KY3-TV.



The child’s mother said she has asked school officials for an explanation and a policy change.



"They told me that the teacher had asked her to go to the restroom before testing time," Skidmore said, according to KY3-TV.



Skidmore says her daughter was forced to sit in the class for the remainder of test time, about 15 minutes, then she was called after the test, and it was a 20-minute drive to the school, according to KY3-TV.



No one helped to clean up her child, she said. A teacher, however, did give the child a trash bag to wrap around herself, Skidmore said.



"You don't even treat a dog that way!" Skidmore told KY3-TV.




http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/0...



Yeah, I would be sooo pissed I would be seeing red. I am pissed if they refuse my child to use the washroom for any reason. My daughter had kidney infection and yes it WAS from holding her pee. I could not imagine a child having to wait to use the washroom.



I know if I have the shits, I don't sit there and wait. No one is telling me when I can and cannot go. Why is it our right as adults to dictate when a child has to?



Thoughts? Should these children be taught to use the washroom before starting class? Should they be made to "hold" during class or tests because it is how it will be in the later grades?

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Tabitha - posted on 06/08/2012

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As a mother, Corinne, I could not have stood by and watched as she was made to "skip around the maypole" in her soiled clothing. I would have gone directly to the Dean/Principal of the school to get something done. And if nothing was done, I would have called the police. That is downright child abuse for the teacher to have done that. And the thought of the child being forced to stay in pooped clothing for any period of time, being humiliated in front of other kids and their parents just breaks my heart!

Tracey - posted on 04/24/2012

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You expect 6 year olds to concentrate for 2 hours? Most of them have trouble lasting 20 minutes. In that case they should have at least one or two breaks for toilet and a run around in the playground.

[deleted account]

I don't think anyone here is saying the teacher should have taken the child into the bathroom and helped clean her up, but the teacher most definitely should have allowed the child to go to the bathroom alone to clean up, rather than being forced to sit in feces for 15 to 20 minutes. Not only was it unsanitary, I'm sure it was difficult for the kids around the child to focus with the stench.

MAP testing is probably very similar to your STAT testing, but it lasts much longer than 1/2 an hour--they can run from 90 to 120 minutes. Kindy MAP testing is NOT official, so the teacher could have dismissed the sick child to the bathroom or nurses office at any time.

[deleted account]

No Janice, I looked it up individually. I was actually disappointed to find the same in my state, but the union here is not as open about what they will defend. It is not "true" tenure, the teacher can still be fired for a lot of offenses, but they are no longer subject to our state's "fire at will" status.

I don't know the details of Missouri, but I wouldn't stop until she was fired. I showed this to my neighbor who is a federal judge, and he said that he thought it highly improbable that the teacher would win in any state if the parents chose to pursue the matter legally, but if they do not, it is also likely the teacher will remain in the classroom. He's not the be-all-end-all reference, but I tend to agree with him. I don't think anyone could justify allowing this teacher to continue working with children.

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Corinne - posted on 06/08/2012

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The childs mother was present and she took her home, after nearly taking the teachers head off. The damned head teacher was in the room watching the dancing and our kids' class teacher is the deputy head. There are quite a few of us mums going into school (again) after this break to get some things ironed out, as something definately isn't right in their class (mostly the teacher).

Corinne - posted on 06/08/2012

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There's a child in my daughters class at school who has a compact bowel, so when she feels the need, she HAS to go. Many a time this child (6yrs) has pooped herself and been left in her soiled clothes till the end of the day. Back in May, she soiled herself at morning break 10:30 ish and was made to skip around the maypole in front of all us mums in the afternoon. She was caked in it and she smelled awful, but her class teacher claims she had no clue. Sounds like a power happy nut job in both cases.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 06/08/2012

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I don't know why you marked that as Funny America. I've worked in nursing homes, assisted living and as a hospice aide. That's the case in New York and BC. You lose your license if you don't do your job. If something isn't done you go higher up until something is done.

America3437 - posted on 06/08/2012

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Not necessarly. I worked in many nursing homes and have seen this happen and because the cna on that hall was a friend of d.o.n. nothing was done. Maybe that's the case here as well. Sometimes it's not what you do it's who you know.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 06/08/2012

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If that was a nursing home, the teacher would lose her job for making a resident sit in her feces for 20 minutes and refusing to take her to the bathroom.

America3437 - posted on 06/08/2012

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I am seeing red and it wasn't even my child. I would have wrapped my child's shity pants around her head!

Sylvia - posted on 06/07/2012

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That's appalling. WTF?! I don't know what MAP testing is, but if it requires 5- and 6-year-olds to sit in (or next to) pantloads of poop for 20 minutes, I'm glad we don't have it in Canada!

Which situation is going to make you madder and demanding teacher's head on a plate? Your 6 year old coming home from school and saying my teacher took me in the bathroom and touched my butt, or your child coming home and saying they had an accident in class and teacher gave them a bag to wrap up in?

Neither of those is an accurate description of the situation. I would not be upset if a teacher went into the washroom with my child after a potty accident and helped her clean up (in my DD's school I'm not 100% sure how that would be handled, since there are separate washrooms for kids and adults, but I would hope that a kid who really needed help would get it!). I *would* be many shades of mad about recreational bum-touching by a teacher -- that's totally different, and I would do my best to get the real story before going off at half-cock.

Nor would I be upset if my kid had an accident in class because it just happened unexpectedly. But that's not what occurred here -- the child knew she needed the toilet, she asked permission to go, AND THE TEACHER SAID NO, not because she was required to do so but because she was being stricter than required. And that *would* upset me. Big-time.

The analogy to dogs is that if your dog gives you signals that it needs to go outside and you ignore the signals and the dog has an accident, that's on you, not on the dog, and no decent dog owner would then leave the said dog sitting in its crate full of poop.

Yes, kids have accidents in the classroom, but this one clearly could have been avoided.

Tabitha - posted on 06/07/2012

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I wouldn't be upset if someone helped my child clean up in this situation, I would expect that either they help or they call me right away to clean her up. Not only does this teacher need fired since she's obviously lost site of the needs of her students, she needs to be charged with neglect. If DCS came in to my home and my child had been sitting in her own feces, I would've been charged. Shouldn't the teacher be held to the same standard or higher?

Erin - posted on 06/07/2012

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BTW it is illegal in employment for an emplyer to bar a worker form using the bathroom is there any reason it shouldn't be illegal to bar a child from using it? Sick filthy teacher deserves to sit in her own feces for two hours.

Erin - posted on 06/07/2012

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I would reccomend the parent sue the teacher and the school to teach tem both we don't tolerate humiliation of little children in our society.Second I am hard pressed to see a way out of punishing this woman for abuse. I for one am not normally one to jump to abuse charges but this is outrageous.

Isobel - posted on 04/24/2012

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It's also common for parents to send a spare set of clothes for kindergarteners every day where I am, so...I don't know if a teacher has the time to take a kid to the bathroom to clean up, but it seems that kids in kindergarten have accidents everyday...there's no way there isn't a protocol for such a situation.

[deleted account]

*I* don't expect 6 year olds to concentrate for 2 hours! That freakish teacher did. The students in kindy, first, and second grades are NOT required to sit for the entire test with no breaks. The teacher was trying to teach them to do so, but that is just one more area where she was wrong and not following proper procedure. Third graders, who are 8 to 9 year olds are expected to sit for 90-120 minute test segments. The tests run over several days.

Tracey - posted on 04/24/2012

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In UK we have SATS in year 2 (age 6 - 7) and year 6 (age 10 - 11), is this the same sort of test? The children all go to the bathroom before the test and they are not allowed to leave the classroom for any non emergency, such as the fire alarm, until the class has finished the test. That includes no bathroom breaks. If a child was ill during a test they would be removed from the classroom and resit the test another day when they had recovered.

We are not allowed to help a child of any age get clean for child protection reasons, all we can do is provide baby wipes, toilet paper, replacement clothes and a plastic bag to put the dirty ones in. We are not allowed in the toilet area while they are doing this, even if they are in a cubilcle and we can't see what they are doing. We would probably get in more trouble for being alone in that area and changing the child than for acting in the way this teacher did.

Which situation is going to make you madder and demanding teacher's head on a plate? Your 6 year old coming home from school and saying my teacher took me in the bathroom and touched my butt, or your child coming home and saying they had an accident in class and teacher gave them a bag to wrap up in? You are going to be mad in both cases but any suggestion of touching a private area is going to get a stronger reaction.

Not agreeing with the teachers actions but I can understand why she did it. Was she the only adult in the room, if so she could not take the child out for help and leave the rest of the class unattended or all the tests would be invalid. Our tests are only 20 minutes - 1/2 hour long, a child who has just used the bathroom should have no reason to go again in that time.

Kids don't usually go to school healthy and suddenly get upset tummies with no warning. They usually complain of headaches, tummy aches, feeling sick etc. We always call the parents at the first sign or complaint of ill health and 9 times out of 10 the parents say leave them a while longer and see if they get worse. They hardly ever collect the children until they have actually been ill which means a poor child sitting with a sick bowl for 1/2 hour until someone comes for them.

This isn't the first time a child had an accident in class and it wont be the last, the children get over it in a day or so. There may be some short lived embarassment but that is all. The parents going on TV and exposing the child to this publicity is going to have a longer lasting, more traumatic effect on her.

Why the comparison to the dog? Dogs don't get wrapped in bags to cover poop, they don't feel embarrasment.

[deleted account]

In SC we have a shortage of teacher positions and a ton of jobless teachers right now. Thankfully, it is not rare for teachers to be fired here if they do not follow an ethical code of conduct because they are very easy to replace, and our "union" which in my state is just a Teachers' Association is not that powerful. I hope the parents will pursue this for the sake of their child. Again, I don't know the specifics for Missouri, but I have a hard time believing that this teacher would be allowed to continue teaching unless the parents back down.

Janice - posted on 04/24/2012

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Kelly, in NYS technically teachers with tenure can be fired for lots of things too, but they never are.

Tabitha - posted on 04/23/2012

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This makes my blood boil!! It's kindergarten for shit's sake. If they don't take those tests until 3rd grade, why practice it in kindergarten? They aren't going to remember that, but that poor girl will remember sittin in diarrhea!! Even if she did use the bathroom before the test started, this is diarrhea, anyone can shit their pants in a heartbeat when it comes to that!! Hell, I'm an adult and the last bout I had with diarrhea resulted in 2 different sets of dirty clothes...lol! It's just outrageous!!

Lady Heather - posted on 04/23/2012

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You know what? I was allowed to go to the bathroom during university exams. I never did, but you were able to sign out and then a TA would go with to make sure that's where you were going. Obviously people didn't use it much because it eats your exam time. But if you really had to, you could.

Kate CP - posted on 04/23/2012

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That poor girl is probably in for a ton of infections from that. :(

Janice - posted on 04/23/2012

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Hey Kelly do you have a state by state tenure link? I think 5 years is actually a long time, not in my opinion, but compared to the norm of 3 years.

Janice - posted on 04/23/2012

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Unfortunately, unless this teacher is fairly new, she wont be instantly fired. Instead she will be removed from the classroom and then continue to be paid for how many years the litigation takes and then maybe she will lose her job.

[deleted account]

I'd have the teacher fired, then I would consult with my lawyer about any forms of abuse or harassment I could have her charged with.

Our school does give MAP testing to kindergarten students, but they are unofficial until 3rd grade. During MAP testing, the school does follow very strict guidelines, and kindergarten through 2nd grade students are asked to follow the same guidelines even though their tests are not considered for the school's progress. That said, our teachers KNOW that a kindergartener cannot strictly adhere to those standards--that's WHY they are unofficial. It's practice, and the child should have been taken to the washroom.

I agree that the kids need to learn to go during breaks, but the kid had diarrhea, even if she had gone, it wouldn't have helped. Furthermore, even if an older kid had gotten sick during the test, they would have been dismissed, not forced to sit in filth. Disgusting.

Lady Heather - posted on 04/23/2012

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This is just sick. I don't even know how to describe the rampage I would go on if this happened to my kid. I kind of want to go on a rampage anyways. Seriously. That's just outright abuse.

Isobel - posted on 04/23/2012

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a) I've never heard of a kindergartener being given ANY test.



b) I've never heard of a kindergartener being denied the chance to go to the bathroom at any time.



c) to leave a child sitting through the test and THEN calling the parent is ridiculous.



I'm sure that the school is pissed. We had a kindergarten teacher lose it like that just before my kids started. A kid was too scared to go in the pool so she picked her up and put her in, then the child refused to change out of her bathing suit into her clothes (she was just screaming in terror in the change room) and the teacher took the rest of the class back to class without her...when somebody did finally bring the (still screaming) girl back to the classroom, the teacher made her sit in the cloak room until she cried herself to sleep. Her mother found her passed out and still wet in the cloak room and when she woke her she started screaming again. That poor little thing ended up changing schools, and the teacher was as closed to fired as you can get with teachers in the union...she'll never teach again, but I think she's still being paid.

Krista - posted on 04/23/2012

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"We regret what happened" -- that's a nice way to completely avoid taking any responsibility for such a boneheaded decision.

I swear, though, you have to wonder about some schools. At lunch, my coworker was telling me how a girl in her stepdaughter's high school class was sick, but the teacher wouldn't let her leave class, and she wound up barfing three times in the garbage can, IN the classroom, and even then, the teacher wouldn't let her call home!

Janice - posted on 04/23/2012

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I must add that I think it is important that we teach children to try and use the restroom during break times. However, sometimes emergencies happen and teachers must be responsive to their students basic needs. I think by April you should be able to tell when your student says "I really need to go", that they really do.

Janice - posted on 04/23/2012

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This poor Kindergartener!!!! It makes me so upset that any teacher would treat a 6 year old like that! Besides it being absolutely horrendous for that child; There are so many jobless teachers in my area and its so frustrating to hear about shit like this!

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