Mother-in-law taking my child over seas alone

Carrielynn - posted on 01/13/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have a 3 year old boy, my only child. I have a German mother-in-law, each others favorite person in the world! She recently asked me if she could take my son with her to Germany. I feel I just cannot let it happen, bottom line I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of my only child across the world so far away from me! My husband calls me selfish and says i am preventing him from seeing the world. i'm just torn as to what the right decision is.


Chet - posted on 01/14/2014




We travelled a lot with our kids when they were very young. I don't believe in waiting until kids are "old enough to remember" to start exposing them to things. If there's only going to be one trip and you have to choose between him being 6 and him being 3 I might pick 6, but I might not. Experiences kids don't remember can still have a very strong and positive impact.

Now, I wouldn't hesitate to say no to a trip like this if I thought my child wouldn't enjoy it, or if I thought my MIL couldn't take adequate care of him. A lot of kids couldn't cope with being away from their mother or father for so long. Not all grandmas could handle international travel with a preschooler. But you didn't say you had any other concerns other than how you were feeling... which may be where your husband is getting this selfish idea from.

It's fine to say no because of specific and legitimate concerns, (and of course you have the right to say no just because that's what you're most comfortable with since he's your child), but I don't think it's an unreasonable request from a grandmother who has a very strong relationship with your child if your child is ready to be away from you like that. For some kids, it would be a wonderful experience.


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Danicia - posted on 01/14/2014




I would ask if she/hubs can wait until he is a little older (like 5-10 yrs old). he won't remember "seeing the world" at 3 so there is no rush in that category. if you aren't comfortable with it, I don't think you should try to force yourself to be. he's your son, your responsibility and you have a right to make the call on this one.

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