Mother in laws

Stifler's - posted on 12/14/2011 ( 53 moms have responded )

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It seems many don't get along with their mother in law.



Possible reasons...



a) they're crazy, selfish etc.

b) we are crazy

c) mums of boys are crazy



Discuss...

53 Comments

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Janice - posted on 12/22/2011

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I get along well with my MIL but we are both a bit crazy. When I first started dating her son she didnt like me but we were only 15 and were very bold teenagers. Now 13 years later we have a very good relationship even though I know we both get under each others skin sometimes. I consider myself quite lucky cause I know of some crazy-ass, bitch MILs! ;)

[deleted account]

My MIL and I get along ok but it's for the sake of my husband and the kids. She really never has approved of me and thinks i'm not good enough to be with her son. She respects my decisions I have made as a wife and mother, she loves being with my kids and they love her which to me all that matters. My FIL and I are really close with each other, he sees me as one of his daughters.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/22/2011

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I can only handle my ex MIL in small doses. Especially after she dragged me to family court and tried to claim I was keeping my older daughter from her. Never mind no one had called me to see my daughter from his side in a year. I told my lawyer and my lawyer told the judge I'd agree to 1 hour supervised visits once a month because I worked and she had to call. My ex MIL is like my ex and she forgot to call once in a while too. I would also have my parents call 15 minutes early or my fiance call when I wanted to get out early. Especially after the visit where she killed a roach with her bare hand and then went right on talking about how wonderful my ex is doing. Seriously my gag reflex!

Tinker1987 - posted on 12/21/2011

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My MIL is crazy....im perfect. lol. no but really ive been good to her but she is always a bitch,know it all, ect ect. i can only handle her in small doses.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/20/2011

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Yikes! Sal, at least when I have my older daughter call her grandma (my ex MIL) she does ask about Abby and the cats before asking me if her son has called and saying how 3 months isn't like him (it is) and how he loves my daughter blah blah blah.

Sal - posted on 12/19/2011

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Hmmm my crazy mil rang today first time my hubby has spoken to her for over 3 months less than 5 mins he hung Up on her she didn't even ask about her grand kids just straight into bitching about money..... And that we weren't going there for Xmas and we were stupid for wanting to go to melbourn for xmas even though we aren't going.... Yep like i'll be wasting time with her

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/19/2011

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I'm not sure if I got along well with my ex MIL very well or not. She was a loon. She had an imaginary ex boyfriend who she claimed was killed because her brother got the Rochester Hells Angels involved and said he owned Spaulding (the basketball guys) She's also rather unsanitary. I mean I'm not a great house keeper and you can't eat off my bathroom floor, but I don't have 10 cats and a million cockroaches lurking about. Yes I know that's not a reason to not get along with the woman. But it's a reason to legitiamize supervised visitation.

I get along with my current MIL better than my husband does. They have a strained relationship because of his parents' divorce, But it doesn't affect her relationship with our daughters ( DH just tolerates her though) We both have the same line of work and she's happy because she always wanted girls and ended up with 3 boys

Faye - posted on 12/19/2011

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My first MIL was a dear! She was more mad at him when he broke up with me (before we married) than I was at him. It is probably a good thing (for him) that she passed away (2002) before he left me in 2004. She would never side with him when he was in the wrong.

My 2nd MIL is a dear! She is beginning to show signs of deminta, so we just have to be patient with her. If my fiance does not call her back the same day she leaves him a message, she will call me and then ask if he go her message. He drives OTR, so I have no idea if he did or not but do tell her that I will have him call her.

Bernie - posted on 12/17/2011

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My Mother is A, my MIL however is total opposite. My MIL is lovely and we get on really well. She helped me organize my baby shower and helped me organize my wedding.- Something my own should have done but I cut her out of my life a few years back.

My MIL payed off the debt that my parents put me in. I'm paying them back bit by bit.

Jennifer - posted on 12/16/2011

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LOL at Sal! Actually my mil thinks my house is a toxic waste dump. Her's is actually spotless. Like the MIL on 'Everybody loves Raymond'. Mine looks like we have 6 kids. It use to look like a 6 kids with a working mom home! DHS never saw anything wrong with it, though. The cleaning stuff is one reason my kids are not allowed to stay there. I've seen her go nuts over sandwich crumbs, and am afraid a spilled glass of kool-aid would push her over the edge. She was still making my 6 year-old eat in a high chair and drink from a sippy cup! Too nutty!!

Rosie - posted on 12/16/2011

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oh my MIL...where to start. i do love her, but she's just...wrong in so many ways. she lied to my husband about who his bio-dad was for 14 years (the man knew and kept up the lie), his step dad who she has been married to since he was 5ish is/was an abusive prick to both her and my husband. 10years ago when i got with him she was still married to him but living with another man. she would then move back and forth about 5 times until finally for the past few years she's stayed at her boyfriends house, while still legally married to the other man. she also never brings her boyfriend to family functions, it's always the husband.
she babies her daughter and does everything for her. like EVERYTHING. last week we were at her daughters sons' first birthday party. when opening gifts she had to tell her daughter which gift was from them. meaning she had paid for her daughters own present to give her son, wrapped it and didn't even show it to her, and then passed it off like whitney bought it herself. she's lost her job because she watched her daughters son too much and called in all the time, yet when it comes to our kids...it's like pulling teeth. we almost had to cancel our trip to hawaii 2 years ago because she wouldn't (not couldn't) watch our kids for 1 fucking day.
i could go on, and on...but at the end of the day she is a nice person for the most part, and stays out of our business. she needs to learn how to stay out of everyone elses though, lol.

Amanda - posted on 12/16/2011

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I get along with my mother inlaw great, now on the other hand my sister inlaw is one crazy mofo!



Last weekend I actually told my husband if I had known his sister was so damn crazy before I married him, I might of thought twice about getting married. She seriously put up a great act before hand, now that we are married, she thinks she can treat me like she treats the rest of her family, and I am to bow down and do everything the princess commands. Not in my reality :0)

Alfreda - posted on 12/16/2011

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My mother-in-law and I get along fine. We are not best friends, but we respect each other. We have totally different interests, and come from different social classes. There are things we disagree on, there are things we agree on. There are things we like about each other, and things we don't like about each other. Honestly I prefer having her close by then my own mother in some ways as she does not come over unannounced and my mother would be over all the time. I do get along with my own mother and love her, but my MIL give us space to raise our own family without being there all the time. I get the occasional comment about things she disapproves of in our parenting style, but they are subtle and not too often. I suspect she makes more comments to my husband, but at least I don't need to hear it. All in all, I am pretty lucky I think because I have heard some horror stories.

Sal - posted on 12/16/2011

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Ohh Jennifer I know just how you feel i had to tell mind that she will never have my kids stay over, she is nuts before everything her house is unmaintained and quickly falling into the dangerous category she is dirty and has animals eating sleeping and shitting all through the house, She lies and insults us and threatens to call the police on us for reasons we arent sure of which is embrassing as my hubby is a cop., last time she was here I threw her Xmas gift at her and told her to fuckoff and she is no longer welcOme here, the thing I hate most is that she makes me a nasty person I love guests and am generous and thoughtful and I hate her

Jennifer - posted on 12/15/2011

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I think it is A! Lol, both my mil's were CRAZY! My first mil was just nutty. I got along with her fine, but she also liked me. Even after my divorce I took her to her doctor appointments and visited with her. The nuttiest thing she did was cook an armadillo. Honestly! On the half shell. And offered me some. While I was pregnant. Bad juju!! But like I said, she was nuts!

My current mil is crazy, mean, and spiteful! She hates me. It's mutual! She has called DHS on us, tried to take custody of our kids, and lied like crazy about us.My husband was adopted at age nine, and she actually told him his bio family dumped him in a ditch!(not true) She was so hateful about me breastfeeding, and how I treated my baby, that I finally said "you may want to remember that I have done this a few times, and have experience, whereas God felt it best to NOT give you an infant. And, from listening to you, the only child you raised turned out to be a total looser!" She has not spoken directly to me since, I don't blame her, but that is really what I wanted! It's been 7 years now, and working fine!!

I am crazy, and am hoping I am at least no worse than my first mil. I could never be like my second.......

[deleted account]

I don't have a mother-in-law. ;)

Never really did though as my ex's mom bailed on him when he was a year old.... He was raised by his dad, uncle, and aunt (who he refers to as mom). I liked his dad. Not too comfortable w/ the rest of his family though.

Ashley - posted on 12/15/2011

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I also want to point out my huband did get a great MIL in fact my momma loved him after one meeting and was delighted when he got me pregnant lol she also doesn't ever judge him for the faults I cry to her about :) though I think she knows it is mostly pregnancy related and I am a bit of a wreck this time through.

Brianna - posted on 12/15/2011

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wow im so shocked how many people get alone with there mother inlaws.. because it is not the case for me lol. I always try to be really nice to my mother inlaw (to keep the peace) but she does so many lil mean things. like when she wants something he goes behind my back and tells my hubby ot make my do something (hes a mamas boy). or she purposely speaks in french in front of me to everyone else in the room knowing that i dont understand so everyone is laughing at her story for exampl because shes talkin to everyone but i dont no whats happening cuz idont understand and there is no reason to be speaking french since everyone in the room speaks english. or at my hubbys sisters grad they had power points that the parents all made and it was his sister growing up and showing all the imediate family and well me and my daughter were not in the slideshow but my hubbys brothers kids where in there and wife (i mean i dont care if i wasnt in it but my daughter should of been and i even gave his mom pictures of us to use). or i had a miscarriage dec1,2011 and the week before i started spotting and the doctor said it was nothing.. even though i ended loosing thebaby a few days later anyways so i was told to take it easy and to try to stay away from stress. my mother inlaw wanted me go to the french school that she wants my daughter in (my hubby adn i will not be sending her to that school cuz im not french) and this is something that i argue with his family about with al the time and causes alot of stress so my hubby told her that i was pregnant and was bleeding and was supposed to stay in bed but she didnt care she insisted that i go see this speaker and convince my hubby that i should go.. so i went just to keep the peace but i was soo angry that she didnt care about the fact that i wasnt suppose to get out of bed and i have a history of miscarriage a few days later i lost the baby.

Ashley - posted on 12/15/2011

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unfortunatly my MIL hates me. I had never met her before as my husband is from across the country and I think she sort of resents the fact that her husband is never coming back b/c I REFUSE to live in isolation. She is selfish and never calls to talk to her son or her grandkids like ever. hmmm... I wish I had a great relationship with her since my mom and my paternal gramma have a very close relationship and my friends have wicked MILs but I didn't luck out :(

Corinne - posted on 12/15/2011

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All the time Debb! I've vowed to not be the crazy assed bitch of a M.I.L and my hubby is on orders to cut in if I ever start down that road. :)

[deleted account]

Is this post making anyone other than me wonder what kind of MIL THEY will be? I'm so overprotective of my son and he's a total mama's boy. I'm doomed... :) Maybe I should save some of these posts and revisit in 8 years, when he's 20 or so, just to remind myself of how NOT to be. Yikes!

Mrs. - posted on 12/15/2011

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Hey Hope, you are not the only one who has had to seek therapy to help deal with their husband's family. I mean, there are other reasons too, but my MIL is right in there on top of them.

That being said, I do realize, through therapy, that much of my anger and disappointment that I feel toward her has to do with my own insecurities about myself as a mother. Now, she does more than her fair share of crazy ass, selfish, borderline personality type stuff, but I do see now how I internalize and blow that stuff up.

Mostly, the thing that bugs me the most, is how she uses my daughter. She hardly ever sees her and when she does she just uses her as a prop. The only time she is interested in acting like a grandmother is when her family is around, then she'll latch on to my daughter like a fat kid on cookies.

And then there's the weird 'Jimmy and his mother from Boardwalk Empire' vibe. Sometimes, she acts like my husband is her ex and I'm the new wife. Now that, has nothing to do with my insecurities and everything to do with her creepiness. Even my husband is on board with the creepiness of that dynamic.

Bonnie - posted on 12/15/2011

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I had some issues with my MIL when my husband and I first got married and we had our first child. But, they have passed and truly she is great. She will come help out with the kids if I need time. She will give advice, but not push it on you. She just helps out a lot in general.

Jenni - posted on 12/15/2011

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I actually get on quite well with my MIL. It's my own mother who falls under category A.

Becky - posted on 12/15/2011

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I hardly know my "MIL" I've been with her son for 4 1/2 years and have only really spent a little time with her including my baby shower this past weekend.

In her defense, the man didn't speak to her for years. Only in the last 3 years has he even tried to have a relationship with her at all. My biggest issue however is that she hasn't made much of an effort to have a relationship with us. She lives close by, but has never been to our house. Recently she calls and talks to her son about once a week . . . which is more than she has spoken to him at all over the last 3 years prior. I think the only reason for the more recent attempt is because our baby is almost here & she loves the idea of being Grandma.

The other thing that drives me nuts is that his mother & sister love to create drama! I try and stay far away from it as much as possible. I have enough issues with out people blowing things out of proportion. I was really upset when (his sister mostly) made an issue over the way people got invited to the baby shower and tried getting my cousin involved.

My FIL on the other hand . . .wonderful man!!!! I love him to death! I'll send all day at his house! He has treated my daughter and I like family since day one!

Nikki - posted on 12/15/2011

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When I first met my MIL, I found her really intimidating and I am not an easily intimidated person. Then we lived with them for a while while I was pregnant and I used to get annoyed with her but now I see that it was more my problem that hers, I was an emotional psycho wreck when I was pregnant, so not her fault, in fact I admire the fact she put up with my crap without slapping me. Now, I really do love her, she is a great MIL. Sorry Emma, I am sure these are not making you feel any better :)

Hope - posted on 12/14/2011

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Well I have caught myself wishing I hadn't married my husband because it is all too hard with his family. what i would give to live away from them.

Jenn - posted on 12/14/2011

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My mother in law is great, however, my husband's mother in law is crazy! Lol...

Lady Heather - posted on 12/14/2011

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I will admit that I have a grudge against my MIL. She made my husband into a fat little kid and she's trying to do the same thing to my daughter. Fortunately she lives very far away. She's also an alcoholic but won't admit to it. I'm sorry, but if you choose hanging outside with a beer and cigarettes over spending a couple of hours with your granddaughter whom you see twice a year, you have a problem. Oh, and when I visit there she always tries to stop us from seeing my brother who also lives there. I imagine this Christmas will be a big battle because I have a new nephew and I want to spend some time with him (haven't met him yet).

I don't think I'm crazy. I don't know what made my MIL how she is. She did see her dad die of a heart attack when she was 20 years old. Maybe that really fucked her up. It would probably fuck me up.

My husband loves his MIL so it's not all bad. Neither of us care for his wench-in-law (my dad's girlfriend).

Sal - posted on 12/14/2011

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Ohhh hope again I'm hearing you, i haven't been to a shrink I just get on here and vent though

Hope - posted on 12/14/2011

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You know you have a nut for a MIL when her antics drive you to see a psychologist

Sal - posted on 12/14/2011

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Ohhh Corrine I know just how you feel mine even tried to convince me my hubby was gay !!!!!!! And she is so socially rude that my poor embrassed hubby asked my mum to warn my family what she was like prior to our wedding lunch as to not shock them!!!! But really there is no preparing for some things

[deleted account]

When she was my MIL she drove me batty even though she was nice enough she is just selfish and doesn't think of my kids now that I am separated I get along with her great. I think it's because now I don't have to.

Corinne - posted on 12/14/2011

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My M.I.L is evil. We've had the year from hell with her B.S and I'm glad she cut us off. What kind of person tries to manipulate their son into a fight with their wife? Or tries to imply that you and the kids are the biggest mistake their son made? I'm actually feeling quite envious of some of you right now.

Jessica - posted on 12/14/2011

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I can't stand my mother in-law, she is a complete nutcase...she even demanded that we change my sons middle name because she didnt approve of it..I can't stand the women.

Jocelyn - posted on 12/14/2011

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My MIL is ok. She is generally a really nice person and I DO get along with her, but every so often crazy-selfish-MIL makes an appearance. Thankfully that doesn't happen regularly, but it has taught me not to hold my breath when she says she'll do something for us. She plays favorites with her kids and their families, and we aren't the favorite. Although she is actually quite supportive of our parenting decisions and has never made me feel bad in that aspect.

[deleted account]

Emma, I feel your pain, it's just that it's MY mom, not his. :) I think I was switched at birth. It's probably tougher when it's your MIL though, cause I simply don't have to talk to my mom, I wouldn't have that luxury if it were his mom that was bat sh*t crazy. That would suck.

Stifler's - posted on 12/14/2011

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I need to make a new community... Mums that can't stand their Mother in Law. BAHAHA. No seriously I can't stand her, she is crazy. And yes she has serious mental health issues.

Johnny - posted on 12/14/2011

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My MIL and I get along just fine. She's a bit batty, and getting worse, but the entire family shares in that burden, lol. She lives way out in the back of beyond, by herself, rarely has visitors and generally never goes out. So her world is very small. Miniscule. She does watch the news, and any time any crime is reported in our city, she calls to make sure we are okay. I live in a city of 2 million people, but she assumes that we are effected by every event personally, lol. She really just needs to stop watching the news. Although, if she does that, she might eventually forget that there is a world out there. She is very kind though, and a good grandmother. Her and I have always gotten along fine, and I have my wonderful SIL's and BIL's and hubby who I can commiserate with about her nuttiness. We all get to share in it. In fact, I think her own daughter and son really get the worst of it, she's nicer to her daughters & sons in law than her own kids.

My mom and dad are very close with my hubby too. After his father died, my dad and my hubby became very tight. They make wine together, occasionally bike ride together, and get together to watch hockey.

I do have a crazy horrible cousin, if anyone wants to talk extended family, but I came out well in the in-law department.

Krista - posted on 12/14/2011

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My MIL and my FIL are both utterly full of awesome. They live next door to us, which sounds like a recipe for disaster, but it's actually really great. They never intrude, they don't interfere with our decisions, they're easy to get along with, will babysit at a moment's notice, have us over for supper often, and when it snows, I inevitably hear my FIL firing up the tractor at 6:30am to plow out our driveway so that we can get out. He actually did all of the finish carpentry on our house, too. They're funny, and helpful, and thoughtful and generous, and love me like their own daughter.

I definitely won the lottery in the in-laws department, for sure.

[deleted account]

Well, my husband's MIL is nothing short of completely nuts! Haha! :) My mom doesn't get along with anyone, not even her only grandson, so my poor husband got stuck with the awful MIL. Oops.

On the other hand MY MIL is so awesome! I learn from her all of the time, she's wise and caring, but never nosy. One time she was organizing something on my counter and she stopped cold and said, "Oh, honey I am so sorry, look at how rude I am being, moving your things around!". It was hilarious because it was the farthest thing from rude, I love it when she helps me out around my house! Btw, my hubby is a total mama's boy, so are her other two sons and I can hardly blame them, she's pretty fantastic, so it doesn't bug me at all.

Sal - posted on 12/14/2011

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Well I can add some mil bashing for you Emma I do truly thnk mine has mental health issues, and apart from that she focuses totally o money and greed and sadly thinks everyone is the same she still can't work out i married her son out of love she thinks it I'd to get her money, and it's not like she is a millionaire,she activitly tries to break up the marriages of us and her daugter to the point she actuly gave my sil's ex a bus ticket and told him that she was having marriage probs and she would love to see him so this poor guy turned up 500 km away on my sil door step after her having been married for 17 years expecting to find a damsel in distress only to have to find himself back on the bus asap, and that is one of her funnier exploits

Erin - posted on 12/14/2011

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When my husband and I were dating I didn't get a long very well with my MIL. I would let comments she made get to me and she just didn't seem to like me. When my mother passed away in 2008 things just seemed to flip around. She had also lost her mother at about the same age. So she totally understood what I was going through. Since then we had our first son, got married and had our second son in July. My MIL and FIL are wonderful grandparents and I could not imagine either of them not being here.

Elfrieda - posted on 12/14/2011

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Hmm. Sorry Emma, I like my mother-in-law, too.



The only time we got on each others nerves was when we were living in their basement suite for a couple of months, and that is very understandable.



My Oma has 6 boys, and welcomed all their wives with enthusiasm (finally, girls!) It didn't really surprise me that my mother-in-law was very welcoming, too. She's different than my parents (very enthusiastic, not at all educated, more social than anyone I have ever met) and I think she's fun.



She's a great grandma, too. She does things very differently, but mostly I just grit my teeth and avert my eyes and repeat in my head "she raised 8 children and they all turned out fine, she raised 8 children and they all turned out fine"

So far my son has not been harmed by the peanut butter at 9 months, the cucumber sticks long before I was giving him anything that big, or the big cookies she feeds him right before bed. It's mostly me that needs to relax. She only sees him once or twice a week anyway.

September - posted on 12/14/2011

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I love my MIL. She is a wonderful person! I have nothing bad to say about her. She was also a single Mother that raised two super amazing boys! :)

Becky - posted on 12/14/2011

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My mother-in-law is great. Of course, it helps that I only see her once a year or so. :) She is very sweet and very helpful and loves the boys to death. Once in a while I feel like she's quietly judging my parenting, but she never actually says anything, so that may just be my own insecurities.
Now my father-in-law.... We'll just say he's a little rough around the edges.

Chelsey - posted on 12/14/2011

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Honestly I think my mother in law is great. She's wonderful to me and fantastic with the kids. I really cant say a bad ing about her...my father in law on the other hand drives me nuts lol. He means well and he really is great too but he is just so nosy and has to have a say in everything. He's the one i've had to tell to back off and let us do our own thing. I must say he has gotten better throughout the years though...he doesnt call 5 times a day anymore lol (I think I have my mother in law to thank for that cause i told her that he was driving me up the wall)

Guess I got fairly lucky in the in law department :)

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