motherhood is easy !

Charlie - posted on 08/08/2010 ( 68 moms have responded )

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Here is the unedited version Jacinta’s article published in Sunday Life, Sun-Herald.



There is one thing nobody warned me about when I became a mother: what a breeze it would be. I was warned about everything else. All I had been told since I became pregnant was to prepare myself for the ‘toughest job of my life’. For years of sleep deprivation, boredom (yes, boredom) and my life not being my own. I was bombarded with tales of cracked nipples, all night vigils, and vomit on the carpet. I was more than mildly worried as a result about how on earth I would cope. I am someone who needs my sleep and had a decades long habit of calling my own shots. Would the requirement to be at the beck and call of a little one – even my little one – do my head in?



Which is why I got the most pleasant surprise to find being a mum one of the most seamless, joyful, intuitive things I have ever done. Yes there are sleepless nights (many of them, in a seemingly endless row) but there is nothing difficult about being up all night with the love of your life. I know our baby boy is only nine months old and isn’t even crawling yet let alone tearing through the house crashing pots on the floor. I know I only have one child who is healthy and I, thankfully, escaped the cruel curse of post natal depression but, still, I can’t see what all the fuss is about. Ask me if I have another, but from where I stand motherhood is a cinch.



Yes it is tiring, and yes it is time consuming with showers and emails a sudden extravagance. But it is not hard. Hard is being tied to a soulless job for 80% of your waking hours. Hard is fighting cancer, or having a child who is. Or not being able to conceive a child when you ache for nothing more. Soothing a crying baby who won’t sleep for love nor money is a privilege not a hardship. Wiping spew off your jacket before bolting out the door to a meeting is funny, not a drama.



It is not fashionable to say so. For the past decade or two – coinciding with most of us trying to squeeze a career in with motherhood simultaneously – we have heard the cry of mothers’ martyrdom. It has become de rigueur to complain about how arduous the whole thing is, one upping on whose baby sleeps the least, chucks the most, and who has less hours in the day. We didn’t lobby this hard and hang out this long for work life balance to admit the whole thing is a piece of cake. A cavalcade of books and blogs reassure us we are not alone in our hair ripping out struggle to keep it together: I Don’t Know How She Does It, Mommies Who Drink, and the riddled with sarcasm Motherhood Is Easy: A Survival Guide, having a good chortle at our disheveled demeanors, and misdemeanors. You are excused for your despair, they say. It’s a tough gig. And it can be. It just doesn’t have to be.



Journalist Jenny Dillon might be pushing it with her claims that mothers today are “perpetuating a hoax” pretending it’s as hard as it used to be, household appliances apparently putting us on “easy street”. But I do think we could learn a thing or two from our mothers and grandmothers. You never heard a peep out of them bucking in to double the workload and double the kids with no online groceries or disposable nappies. Sure they didn’t work (most of them) but they also appreciated that being a mum was one of the better things in life. My mum had six children, no help and, on occasions, a job. Yet she gave it her all with grace and joy. Our generation acts as if we deserve a medal.



It’s not like we didn’t know what we were signing up for. Most mothers want to be mothers, longing for the day when we will hold our own baby in our arms. How tragic to begrudge it because we can’t get a thing done around the house.



“You will resent the night feeds”, one mother warned me. I never did. I relished them. I took my sister’s advice: to cherish those moments when it was just my baby and me together, the only light on in the street. I didn’t want to will away one second. “Don’t you hate the sound of their crying?” another mother queried, searching for camaraderie. No. I didn’t and I don’t. Babies don’t cry to annoy us. They cry because they are hungry or tired and we are here to solve that.



“It’s just because you have an easy baby”, say mums when I confess (it feels like a confession) how much I love it. We do have an easy baby. So far. He laughs a lot and loves his food and sleeps, well, like a baby. And I am blessed to have a stimulating part time job and good childcare. Like most mums I have to “juggle” – just as I was warned – often presenting six hours of live TV news in a fog of sleeplessness. Until recently our baby woke religiously at 4am. I also feel an overwhelming responsibility for my baby’s emotional well being. But, hard? No. Exhilarating and rewarding more like it.



I never knew I had such capacity to love. Nobody warned me about that.

http://www.mamamia.com.au/weblog/2010/08...

there is also an interview to watch on the blog .



what do you think about this article ? Do mothers downplay the positives of motherhood ?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Krista - posted on 08/08/2010

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Boy, I don't know what drugs she's on, but I do wish she'd share.



Seriously, though, is she for real?



And I say that as someone with a very "easy" baby. Has it all been great? Of course. Sam's awesome. Do I "cherish" it when he wakes up in the middle of the night with crap up his back and in his hair? Um, not so much.



It's great that she doesn't get upset about the little stuff like spitup on her jacket or barf on her carpet. But I wouldn't go so far as to call them joys.



Motherhood is a constant internal mishmash of exhaustion, exhilaration, frustration, pride, and love. You wish you could just get an hour away from them, but when you do, you miss them the entire time. It's never ALL bad, but nor is it always ALL good.



Just like all of the most worthy things in life, motherhood entails some hard work and sacrifices. But are they worth it? Of course. Being a mom has been the most amazing, awesome thing that I've ever done. I love my little guy so much, and he just brings me so much sheer happiness.



That doesn't mean I'm going to find it "joyful" the next time Sam barfs in my freshly blown-out hair, though.

Mary - posted on 08/09/2010

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I think, like most things in life, it's all about perspective.

Some of us are glass-half-full kind of people, while others are glass-half-empty.

I had what most people would describe as an easy baby. She nursed like a champ, had no problems with colic or reflux, almost never spit up, and was usually easily contented. She slept...ehhh - like a newborn - didn't do more than 4 hour stretch until at least 8 weeks, through the night at 14 weeks (8ish-5ish). I had no problems with postpartum depression.

It was one of the most blissful and joyous times of my life...but also the hardest. There were days I would have sold my soul for 4 straight hours of sleep. My arms ached, my breasts leaked, and for the first month, my bottom was a mess. I longed for a long, hot, peaceful shower, rather than a harried and hurried get-the-shampoo-completely-out-before-she-cries obstacle that my daily ablutions had become. My leg hair was as long as the roots on my head, my belly jiggled in a most unsightly manner, and my house had become a tornado of baby paraphenalia. And yet....I was so completely overwhelmed with love and gratitude at finally having this perfect little bundle cooing in my arms.

Yes, I was happy. I was also exhausted, overwhelmed, and plagued with self-doubt as to whether or not I was a "good" mother.

Perhaps it wasn't so much about how hard or easy motherhood was. It was more a case of my definition of the words hard and happy changing with becoming a mother.

Yes, there are those of us that bemoan all the hardships that motherhood entail, and those (annoying) cheerleaders that sugarcoat it all as sunshine and roses. I think, for most of us, the truth falls somewhere in the middle.

Johnny - posted on 08/11/2010

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The comments that one has to be on drugs or crazy to enjoy being a mom as much as this lady are just silly. Why is it that we can not sympathize with people who are having a difficult time with mothering, and offer them support while acknowledging that it may be enjoyable for others? Why is one woman stating that she doesn't find motherhood as hard as described considered an attack on moms who don't find it as easy? We all have different thresholds and experiences, and it really bothers me that "happy/glass half full" people aren't allowed to offer their opinions on things because it might make other people feel bad. What a terrible, negative, miserable world we would live in (yes, worse than the current one) if all the negative nellies controlled the discourse all the time.

I absolutely agree with what this woman wrote. I don't agree with her generalizing it to apply it to all moms. But what she said certainly resonates with my experiences of being a mom. Like I said, I didn't have an easy baby. And her teething has been very tough. She had a few fevers, quite a bit of swelling, pain & discomfort, and occasionally could not even really eat. It was not that I "enjoyed her pain" but that I loved helping support and love her through her difficulties.

Just because a woman loves motherhood and doesn't find it "hard" doesn't mean she's on drugs, or she's crazy, or she had an "easy" baby. It might just be that she happens to view the challenges she has experienced through a different lens than others. Obviously, PPD and other unique situations will interfere with someones opportunity to feel this way. But how is it supporting women with PPD to make motherhood out to be this terrible thing?

Lucy - posted on 08/10/2010

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Sure Dana-
"I, thankfully, escaped the cruel curse of post natal depression. But still, I don't see what all the fuss is about... from where I stand, motherhood is a cinch."

"Yes, there are sleepless nights, but there is nothing difficult about being up all night with the love of your life."
"yes, it is tiring, and yes, it is time consuming... But it is not hard."

"... the whole thing is a piece of cake."

It may seem silly to you, and I certainly don't feel this way now I am recovered from my depression. But at the time, comments like these, particularly the one that acknowledges PPD but then dismisses it in such an off hand way, would have cut me to the quick.

As I pointed out in my post, I really don't think the author was trying to make other Mums feel bad, but (understandably) wrapped up in her own enjoyment of motherhood she is lacking some consideration and empathy for those who are not so easily flourishing as Mums.

Johnny - posted on 08/09/2010

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Wow! Over sensitive much ladies? Like others have said, some see the glass half empty & others prefer to see it half full. Seems this is generally an empty crowd. I know I've definitely had more than a few days when I've wondered if having a kid was really such a great idea, but generally, it feels like the best friggin' thing that has ever happened to me. I will admit that those 12pm, 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am feeding nights didn't lead me to look sweetly at my baby thinking how lucky I am. Nor do the tantrums in the grocery store when I take away the bell pepper she took off the shelf & ate half of. But really, I'd rather be her mom than just about anything else.

There is just so much negativity and horrible stuff said about being a mom. I am still waiting for it to be nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be before I had a kid. Man, everyone was always making parenthood out to be the worst thing ever. I actually seriously doubted that I'd ever be happy again once my baby came along because of all the horrible stuff people told me before she was born.

Now, I was very fortunate not to suffer from PPD. But I did have a colicky, difficult baby. She did not sleep well, she screamed for about 5 hours a day, and we had mountains of difficulty with feeding. And yet, it still is just not as bad. I would give anything to be standing humiliated at the checkout stand at the library while she screams that the librarian is "stealing her books" rather than be stuck at my stupid job analyzing meaningless data.

If parenthood is so bloody terrible, why do so many of you have more than one kid?

Oh, and I totally & completely agree with everything Dana M. has said on this thread. Props girl!

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Amie - posted on 08/15/2010

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No I don't think mothers downplay the positives of motherhood. Even mothers of multiples, like myself, or mothers who truly have it hard for one reason or another.



There is nothing wrong with moaning and bitching when it's needed. I take offense personally that anyone thinks there's something wrong with having a glass half empty kind of day. We all have them, some more than others.



I tend to agree with other mothers who are making cracks about having more children. Yes they are cracks and yes they are true. I had it easy with one, I had it easy with two. When my third and fourth came along is when I started truly losing my marbles.



I see the positive, I love them like no other, I still bitch and moan after a bad day. We ALL do and there is NOTHING wrong with it. It is not all sunshine every day, if a person truly wants to try it that way be my guess but the world will come crashing down one day. It did for me, it did for my mother and every one of my friends who tried to be positive about every experience.



There is something to be said for letting out the emotions and venting, it does lead to a healthy mommy too. It is a rare day that I don't have a complaint about at least one of my kids. There are 4 of them after all. It does not mean I'm looking at the bad side, when I get it out (just as most mom's I'd wager a guess) it makes it that much easier. The frustration is out and I'm a better mother for it. If I choose to bottle the feelings, well it's not good, I've done that and ended up in anger management because of it.



Being a mother is hard but it's also rewarding and exhilarating, the terms are not mutually exclusive when talking about parenthood. It is all rolled into one and if more people recognized that and stopped picking at each other, it'd be a better world. Articles such as this serve no purpose but to, again, divide parents, especially mothers.



Edit to add:



I'm willing to bet too that most of us fall somewhere in the middle with a good balance. It's rare, after some experience under a person's belt, to be fully in one camp or another.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/15/2010

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I love this. I have not read through the other moms comments yet, but everytime I am having a rough day with my kids...I read this..and it makes tomorrow so much easier.

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Thank you also, Carol....I was beginning to wonder if Chad has been slipping me drugs the past two years. ;)

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"I don't think this woman is denying that motherhood is challenging...I just think she is one of those people who emphasizes the positives, without letting the more difficult parts mar her happiness."

Mary summed up my thoughts better than I could have. Our situations sound very similar, Mary....thanks

Mary - posted on 08/11/2010

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I have to say, my daughter is now 21 months, and teething has never been an issue. She had no teeth until 10 months...and within a week, I was shocked to notice she suddenly had four. Apart from some excessive drooling, there has never been much change in her behavior.

The only really "rough" time I've had with her was when she had an ear infection...that was a LONG four days - she cried A LOT (well, for her), and constantly needed to be held. Within 10 hours of her 1st dose of antibiotics, she was back to her normal happy self.

I wonder...tying in from the thread about whether or not there is a difference between infertility babies and those conceived without significant effort....

Perhaps my outlook is a bit more shaped as a result of having to work so hard, and wait so long for motherhood. As I said in that thread, I don't presume to think that I love m child anymore than the rest of you do yours. However, I do wonder if my (advanced) age, and past experience, combined with a pretty "easy" baby make me a little less bothered by the "hardships" of motherhood, and more prone to focus on the joys it bestows on all of us.

I don't think this woman is denying that motherhood is challenging...I just think she is one of those people who emphasizes the positives, without letting the more difficult parts mar her happiness.

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And then there's Roxanne....honestly, with the exception of one or two days with her eye teeth she's never made a fuss....you wouldn't have even known she was teething except for the drool.

Ava, and the others who've made comments about her being on drugs....I take personal offence to that comment. I don't think it's called for. I have the same outlook at the author and I don't appreciate that you think she HAS to be on some sort of drugs.

Jaime - posted on 08/11/2010

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I understand your point Cathy...I did not have an easy teether by any means. He's currently cutting teeth and it's driving us both nuts!

I definitely empathize with the women that see this article as a bit of a slap to the face because I did suffer from PPD. But I can also see the merit in her article and her intended purpose to convey the positive aspects of parenting despite sleep deprivation, sore nipples and a cranky baby.

Joanna - posted on 08/11/2010

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Paige was a perfect teether, she never made a fuss except when she was getting her molars in. She didn't get fevers, didn't need tylenol, didn't get whiny, nothing.

Maybe it was God giving it to me easy since she had all-day colic for 3 1/2 months!

Hannah - posted on 08/10/2010

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Motherhood is hard and there are days where I fell I could just crawl in a hole and sleep there for weeks or months at a time. I feel like pulling my hair out and screaming at the top of my lungs. But then, I see their precious smile when they wake up in the morning. Or the way they hold on so tight when you take them up to bed. The many times my son tells me " I wuv you around the world" and the kisses my daughter plants on me after a long days work. I wouldn't trade it for the world and all that screaming, crying, and sleepless nights are worth it because my kids mean everything to me.

Jaime - posted on 08/10/2010

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I think we're back to two different perspectives with the same overall opinion Cathy. In the live interview (there's a link on the OP) the author says that her child is teething right now...so perhaps her approach is a bit to the extreme of 'bliss'...but it's not impossible for mothers to share her enthusiasm for even the tough moments.

Lucy - posted on 08/10/2010

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and, on second reading, I should have said sympathy rather than empathy. My bad!

Lucy - posted on 08/10/2010

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No problem- It's nice to have a genuine, civilised discussion with two different view points and find that we pretty much agree after all :)

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Thanks, AND I tend to agree that she generalizes and is lacking in consideration or empathy, BUT, how can she empathize with something she's never experienced. I think that's where her inconsideration comes from which is why I then choose to accept that it's just her opinion and then I think to myself...why rain on her parade?

I think we're on the same page, Lucy, but just approaching this article from different perspectives which are obviously a result of our experiences.

Thanks for giving me some examples.

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Lucy - can you provide me of some examples from the article where she was generalizing that upset you or might have caused you to jump out a window? ;)

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Being happy and positive about motherhood is a great way to be..its not easy but you dont need to bury your head in the sand and be unhappy.Happy mom is a happy child=happy family.Having a good positive attitude rubs off on others to and especially your children.Its not covering up anything..my friends would think when i had my first child at 19 i was hiding the fact it was so hard and pretend to be happy..no it wasnt a walk in the park but by gosh i enjoyed every moment of it..she was an easy baby lol but so is my second,once i realised b/f wouldn't work out i accepted it and carried on with a spring in my step and a smile on my face.I agree Lucy some compassion and respect for those who aren't having a walk in the park and cant seem to just be up beat and say ah well thats the joys of it.Were not all the same but on the other hand those ladies need to accept the moms who are up beat and handle it and not put them down and say there pretenders and what not.

Lucy - posted on 08/10/2010

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Dana- I agree with you about the positivity thing :) If you can believe it, I am actually one of those annoying peppy people who tells people to look on the bright side of every situation.

But it was quite a different story 4 years ago after the birth of my first child as I suffered with severe PPD. At that time, however hard I tried I could not have made myself more positive- it took everything I had just to get through the day, and if I had been faced with the article in question on a bad day it would have had a devastating impact on me. The author's personal account of her own joyfulness may actually have buoyed me up, but the way she goes on to make general statements about parents who don't feel the way she does may have had me jumping out of a window! (only half joking).

So, I guess my take on it is this- Feel the joy, and don't let anyone bring you down. Motherhood is a precious gift and privilege, and the more people feel that way, the better. Just have a little compassion and understanding for those who are struggling, for whatever reason.

[deleted account]

I just think being positive is a choice and seeing the positive in every situation IS possible. I didn't always think this way but a couple years back I was made to see the errors of my ways. "Power of positive thinking".....it truly can be a powerful thing. Ok, I'll shut up now!

Jane - posted on 08/09/2010

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I pretty much agree. My kids are 20 and almost 17 and honestly, it wasn't hard for me either. Yeah, they were easy babies...both sleeping through the night at 7 and 8 weeks respectively. BUT, my 20 year old had ear infections from about 6 months until 2 years of age and my son is asthmatic so we spent a LOT of time in emergency rooms until we got a nebulizer at home. BUT, my kids crying never annoyed me, I LOVED night time feedings for the exact reasons the writer states...just me and the baby all alone, together. I also worked full time (still do) and my kids dad (my now ex) worked for Amtrak for the first 4 years of kids and was gone about 18 days a month so I pretty much was a part time single mom.

I did not find being a mother hard at all. I was fortunate that it came easy for me and I totally feel for those who it does not.

Yes, she only has one and that child is only 9 months old. And some could say I only have two and that they are older so I must have forgotten but I didn't....were there challenges along the way? Heck yeah but I can say it was, as the writer states the most joyful time of my life!

As a note, I do happen to be one of those people that always focuses on the positive and refuses to be negative in any situation so maybe that's why...I don't know.

Charlie - posted on 08/09/2010

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You know i actually feel like its refreshed my view as an exhausted mother of a newborn and toddler its made me see the bright side , so instead of being tired and grumpy im tired but happy .

I mean i was happy before but i was letting frustration have its way with me , i kind of like that this article made me step back and enjoy .

[deleted account]

Awww....shucks. I actually think I'm blushing. Kudos to you too and everyone else who can find the positive in this. Hell, kudos to those of you that couldn't for making it such a great debate. Oh man, there I go again being all positive 'n shit! ;)

Shelley - posted on 08/09/2010

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I think there is a balance we should not down or over play the easy or the hard parts of parenting. We should be able to feel and be genuine about the whole experiece i suppose i was a little annoyed by the article because i felt she was putting forward an unreal in the moment view we all can look back with rose coloured glasses and say it wasn't so bad but i think its important for new mothers to know it can be hard at times and that its good to talk about and feel that way that its ok not to have perfect children.
I didn't like her putting down other women for feeling differently to her eg whats everyone winging about. She did clear this up for me in the interview but i still felt that she was not really genuine.

[deleted account]

AND, I don't think that someone who is seemingly "overly" positive and excited, is on drugs. lmao. It's subjective....is she overly positive? I don't think so. I've had a very similar experience, 23 months in.

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"Rainbowy" - LOVE IT, Mylene!

Lucy - "But I do think that a person's ability to look at challenges, such as parenting, in a positive way depends on their personality, personal circumstances and upbringing."

While I do agree with you and I'm aware that she made some "sweeping generalizations" I just think/wish that despite, "personality", "personal circumstances" and "upbringing" people could TRY and focus more on the positive. Like this article for example. While I do think she's generalizing and offering an opinion with little experience, I choose to look past that and take what positive I can from the message.

[deleted account]

I think that the way the article is written is a little "rainbowy" (from my personal dictionary). I absolutely LOVE being a mother and I can't imagine my life without my little guy but I would never say that motherhood is ever easy. I have never worried so much about anything, never spent hours thinking of what my reaction to a specific event would teach my child, I never worried so much about dropping a little piece of plastic on the floor and thinking that if I don't find it in time my son could choke on it. I've never had so little sleep and still went about the day.

However, there is nothing better than seeing my little guy smile, there is nothing better than seeing my step-sons enjoy a new activity or a new game they invented or learned. there is ABSOLUTELY nothing comparable to hearing "I love you" from your child or step-child.

Parenting is hard-work no matter how old the child is. It's heart-breaking at times, it makes you want to pull your hair out, cry, smile, scream, dance around, etc.
It brings in a whole new dimension to your life and the fact that it can be so damn hard is also what makes it so rewarding.

I'm not about to crap out rainbows and butterflies but I can honestly say that parenting is absolutely wonderful for me.

Lucy - posted on 08/09/2010

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Dana- Yes, the author is talking about her personal experience, but she goes on to apply this to motherhood in general and makes some sweeping generalisations in the process.

As I said in my previous post, I actually think she has a great attitude. I feel much the same way about being a Mum as she does, and am of the laid back parent variety. But I do think that a person's ability to look at challenges, such as parenting, in a positive way depends on their personality, personal circumstances and upbringing. So the suggestion that all Mums should feel the same way the author does (and it is their own fault if they don't) seems a little harsh to me.

[deleted account]

Mary Elizabeth - I just want to point out that although I don't have another child, Roxanne is almost 2 years, and I STILL feel similar to the author of this article. I like what Toni said.
"I don't think I find parenting any easier than most people though I think its just that I choose to look at it differently."

ME - posted on 08/09/2010

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I think this woman just doesn't have all the facts...I would have agreed with her when Miles was 9 mts. An only child, who was healthy and well behaved, who couldn't walk or talk or make a giant mess just by walking into the room. I'm not saying anything about how much I love my kids....I would die for either of them in a heartbeat...they are the best thing I've ever done and I love them more than I thought I could possibly love anything...but this IS HARD. A 2 1/2 year old and an infant, both in diapers, niether who sleep very well, the baby cutting teeth not sleeping for a week, load after load of dirty laundry, potty training...praying for it to be 8 o'clock so you can collapse on the couch and rest up for tomorrow...it's hard, there's no question...are there harder things...yes! Does that diminish the difficulty of mothering multiple small children...no...

Meghan - posted on 08/09/2010

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Being a mom is hard! BUT, it's the one thing in my life that is hard and I push through and refuse to give up on! Everything else you can say screw it and pack 'er up. Tough days with my son make me want to push through and make the next day a better one!

[deleted account]

I think this article is great, fair play to this woman for stating what many of us think - I definately find that most of the time motherhood is easy BUT then I do only have one baby who is fabulously brill (he's slept through the night since he was 3 months old, he eats like a dream everything bar swede because he just doesn't like it, he rarely cries and has dealt with teething brilliantly so far). I know that my next baby (if I can have one) will be different and having more than one child makes things much harder and I also acknowledge that my son is only 10 months old so I have so many challenges to overcome yet.

I don't think I find parenting any easier than most people though I think its just I choose to look at it differently - whereas some mums moan that the baby has made a mess I just think 'oh well he's gotta learn somehow' and tidy it up once he's done, I am a fairly laid back kind of mom. I have to say I am really lucky with my hubby as well though because when he is not at work he really helps me look after our son and as I do not work now it is my job to look after the home that is fair IMO and although I do not enjoy cleaning it's my job *shrugs*.

Oh and I always love pointing out the positives because it makes my son look ace (and yes if he has been a shit I do tell my mates it's not a bed of roses all the time) - I don't try and out do mums by being more hard done by than them - that is silly.

[deleted account]

Lucy - "I wish she had emphasised that she was only talking about her personal circumstance"

Is it not obvious that it's her personal experience?

[deleted account]

I love this because i can totally relate to it&how she feels being a mommy...that is the joy of motherhood..all of what goes with it IS A JOY.I love every second of it. ♥



Easy i can't say yes but how i deal with what comes my way i deal with it easily.I accept it and i work with it and enjoy that it is a part of motherhood..thats the joys of it.

Jaime - posted on 08/09/2010

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I like the way you said it Mary...that's exactly how I feel about this article. I wanted to be annoyed about it at first, knowing the struggles I've faced in the last 17 months, but for some reason I decided to take the opposite approach. I don't have it easy by any means, but it's not horrible being a mom and it's certainly not always a struggle to enjoy the easy moments either.

Lucy - posted on 08/09/2010

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Whilst I think it is great that she has a positive outlook, and is clearly enjoying motherhood and appreciating the privilege, I do wonder who she wrote this article for.

As much as I think her motives are probably not sinister, what she has done to my mind is give ammunition to people who think SAHMs are layabouts and men who don't fully support their partners as a parent. Now they can say "Hey, it's not hard, and it really can't be cause I heard it from a woman!" I'm also not sure how the Mums who suffer with PPD or just don't have the strongest maternal instinct would absorb this article without taking a serious hit to their self esteem.

I wish she had emphasised that she was only talking about her personal circumstance, as the generalisations she makes are not helpful to anyone.

On a lighter note, I think she should be contracted to write another article on the topic if/when baby number two arrives- I wonder if that would be all hearts and flowers? hehe :P

[deleted account]

I'm writing without reading the other responses, but I'm assuming that there are some negative remarks about this.

Honestly, I agree with her to an extent. I've never found it to be "hard" exactly. Sure there have been times when I want to slam the door and scream. Washing diarrhea out of a baby's hair is not fun after-all. Having "Elmo's Song" stuck in your head all day is pretty annoying. Having random relatives say, "She's STILL not walking?" is aggravating. But I've never found the job hard, necessarily. I enjoy it. But I do have to say, I stay home. I don't have the stress of a job on top of motherhood. And my husband is very supportive when he's not at work. So maybe I have it easier that some on that front, and that's where my point of view comes from.

But I do think of my husband's grandmother that has 12 children (10 still living). She had 10 in school, from 12 grade to kindergarten, at the same time. She is still known in the community for making a homemade breakfast every morning. I once asked her how she did it. She said, "Well, I never thought about it. I just knew I had to. And they all graduated high school!" She's so proud of that. And her husband died when he was 40 and half the kids were still living at home. That, is not easy. But I've never heard anything but pure love come from her lips when talking about her children.

C. - posted on 08/09/2010

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Eh, I don't really agree with her. Having had a fairly 'easy' baby, it was still quite difficult- especially when I was doing it alone. Going through Postpartum Depression didn't help matters. And at the time of my having to get up at 2am b/c my son had a blowout that was all the way up his back and all the way down his legs, front and back- you don't generally cherish those moments. Do I miss certain times that I couldn't wait to get past at the time?? Of course. But there are also some things I wouldn't wish on anyone. Motherhood can be easy- AT TIMES. But there are always going to be some obstacles that send us off course. Quite honestly, I'm with the other moms who are wondering what kind of drugs this lady is on..



And didn't she say her baby is only 9 months old?? I'm worried she's going to get a real rude awakening one day with her head so high in the clouds. Some of this is encouraging, but some is just sheer personal (by personal, I am meaning her own flesh and blood b/c it is always different with your own kids) inexperience with anyone over the age of 9 months.

Iris - posted on 08/09/2010

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For me, this article is too one sided and therefore not very realistic. If all articles out there would be about rainbows, unicorns and butterflies like Kati put it, then I'd feel like there was something wrong with me. I wouldn't utter a word about it because everyone else was in rainbow land.

I think as mothers we all have our ups and downs. And for some it’s harder than others.

My first one was a breeze in every way, from the day she was born and into her toddler years. From day one she slept and fed on schedule, she was sweet and loving in every way.

My second daughter was a colic baby. She woke up every 30 - 60 min. at night either with pain or to be fed for the first 6 months. I hadto be up at 6:30 am to get my other daughter ready for school and walk to the bus stop. I swear, I don't remember much of these first 6 months other than craving sleep and worrying about my baby. I did all I could do for her and when she was crying out in pain I felt horrible. Was it a pleasant time where I cherished being with the daughter I love? NO, I felt miserable for both me and her.

I don’t think this article would have helped me one bit during those first 6 months.

[deleted account]

I agree with Nikki Micaehlov!!! My baby was AWESOME, then he started crawling!!! and cruising!!! and the seperation anxiety makes me wanna scream! OMG!!! I can't do dishes w/out screaming, bathroom trips alone? HA! I don't mind showers being a blessing. I don't mind waking up once in the middle of the night (every 2 hrs kinda sucked...) but I deal. The lack of sleep didn't hit me so hard the 2nd time around, so that was nice! I can't stand a cranky 4 yr old getting pissy his brother takes all his toys, especially when he isn't playing with them but then feels compelled to when little bro takes it >:( Sibling rivalry...makes me want to SCREAM! And the part that really gets me...it will NEVER stop! I can usually get through the rough stuff, cuz I remember it'll end soon, but this :( ugh...my brothers were awful w/eachother! How do you get over wanting to hurt one child for abusing their sibling? My 4 yr old is just mean to his baby brother, and he's only 10mos :( It tears me in so many directions! I'm generally a positive person, so on many levels, from where she is coming, I can agree with her...but having seen the future :( ugh...I'm tired, more so mentally then physically! And I don't think anyone prepared me for that!

Joanna - posted on 08/08/2010

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This article made me want to vomit.

It reminds me of Gisele Bundchen's article. Why are these new moms feeling the need to spout off these things? "everyone should breastfeed and meditate and have a zen birth" and "yeah, I've only been a mom for 9 months, but it's awesome and I don't understand moms who don't think it is" blah blah fucking blah.

Give these guys my case of post-partum depression and my colicky acid reflux prone daughter and see if they think it's all sunshine and zen.

But seriously, unless you've experienced it all, I wish these ladies would stay out of the news, because it just gets on my nerves.

Lindsay - posted on 08/08/2010

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I find her article refreshing so maybe I'm a sunshine and rainbows kind of lady! =) To me it seems that people are all to eager to focus on the negative. I know that when I was newly pregnant it was "just wait, you will get so miserable". I was definately ready to meet my babies by the end of my pregnancies but they weren't nearly as bad as I was expecting. The horror stories about labor...I remember turning my head after pushing Madeline out and asking, "Is that it?". The sleepless nights were hard, I won't deny that. It was physically and mentally draining but then it passed and life went on. I had easy, happy babies. I didn't find the "terrible twos" to be quite so terrible. I will admit, I'm petrified of the teenage years. =S The physical aspect of being a parent, so far, has gone much better than I had expected.

Now what I wasn't prepared for, the emotional part. Emotionally, being a parent has been so much different than I ever thought. I just never knew just how many ups and downs there would possibly be. I have never worried so much before being a mother. I worry that I'm doing a good enough job. I worry that my kids will get hurt or get their feelings hurt or that I'm not good enough for them. I never knew there would be so many bitter sweet moments. Their first time smiling, rolling, crawling, walking, word, poo in the potty, day of school. Those are such proud moments but they also make me a little sad, that they are growing bigger and all too quickly they are not babies anymore. This is going to be a rough week for me. My baby is turning 4 and my daughter is starting Kindergarten. They are happy days, but I feel like I'm not ready. They are more than ready and independent and I just want to hold on a little longer. I find myself wishing for my babies back while beaming with pride at the little people they are becoming.

Being a mom is like being on an emotional rollercoaster(to my anyhow). There are definately difficult days. I know I've had the ones where I want to pull my hair out, that's no lie. But I do like the idea of focusing on the positive. I think in any situation if you look hard enough you can find the positive or negative spin on it. But life is much more pleasant when looking for the positive. =)

[deleted account]

Ok, so when my first born was nine months old I felt the same as this woman. But now it's a different story. My first is 7 and I have an almost four year old and I'm telling you I don't feel that way anymore. Yes, I love being a Mum but it's damn hard. Physically and emotionally. I hope she can continue to feel this positive about her role as a parent but when she has a few more kiddies to parent she may find the euphoria wearing off.

Sarah - posted on 08/08/2010

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Anyone who is overly positive and enthusiastic about ANY situation gets on my nerves to be honest! People who are just sunshine and roses about everything just grate on my nerves. Not saying it's not good to have a positive outlook, but when it's ALL the time, about things like having kids, it annoys me.
To be honest, she just sounds smug. Like she wants the world to know how perfect her life is.

Do I love being a mother? Sure! My kids are my world! Do I also have days where come the evening I just want to pack them off to bed, breathe a sigh of relief and have a glass wine? Hell yes!!! Motherhood is so great because it's NOT all sunshine and roses, it's a challenge, it's a job and it's HARD sometimes. :)

Nikki - posted on 08/08/2010

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I love my son with every ounce in me, I love holding him in my arms and for the first 6 months he was EASY he never cried, he slept through he was a super happy baby, we would go to restaurants and he would sleep the entire time, the drive in was amazing we could be anywhere and life was bliss.....................................

THEN he became MOBILE, then came TEETHING, then came SEPERATION ANXIETY... and then came sleepless nights and now at 14 months he runs around all day every day , doesnt nap, is always getting into trouble , climbing the furniture, opening doors, throwing tantrums every time I say No or take something away and that super happy easy baby seems like it was a dream. I am exhausted I feel like a zombie, motherhood is the farthest from easy..... Yes I adore my son and yes most of the time he is way to cute for me to be upset and i love when he wakes up because he is soo happy and playful and when he gives me hugs and kisses, but I dont love 5am, i dont love when he is teething and crying his eyes out, I dont love the tantrums especially in public when he throws himself on the floor, or when he doesnt want to hold my hand and run away and I have to put him in the stroller and he is kicking and screaming. Motherhood is may be rewarding and thrilling and exhilirating but its exhausting and its the farthest thing from easy.

Stifler's - posted on 08/08/2010

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BAHAHAHAHA. "Up all night with the love of your life". There's this thing called sleep that I need and yes after 6 months of my kid not sleeping through it really is doing my head in!!!

Isobel - posted on 08/08/2010

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to be honest, it just sounds phony to me...like she's on too many drugs. I love my kids, I love my life, but I don't rant and rave like a crazed lunatic about it...and yeah, one baby is pretty easy, and fun...I can see how sunbeams shine out her ass ;P

[deleted account]

If I was an expectant mother or suffering from PPD I might find her comments inspiring or encouraging.
Krista - "I would just hate for some brand-new, sleep-deprived, cracked-nippled, stressed-out mother to come across that article and think that she's an awful mother because she doesn't always feel like she has sunbeams coming out of her ass."

Or perhaps it will give her a new perspective and show her that there IS hope?

[deleted account]

Sharon - she never said their weren't obstacles. She just thinks there's more positive then negative and she chooses to experience life through her positive goggles. I suppose because I agree with her that I'm
"just blessed to be too ignorant to realise they're house slaves or something." WHY? Because I try to put a positive spin on shitty situations? Of course not everything is life is roses, rainbows and unicorns but why is it such a bad thing to think, "WOW! I've got it really good and I like my life"?

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