Mothers of Girls

Kimberly - posted on 10/05/2010 ( 23 moms have responded )

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How old must your daughter be before she is allowed to do the following:



Shave her legs?

Wear makeup?

Get her ears pierced?

Use tampons?

Have the sex talk?

Date?

Use birth control?

Get a cell phone?

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La - posted on 10/08/2010

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This all really depends on the child.

Shave her legs? when she needs and asks to

Wear makeup? I won't let my girls wear anything more than a natural light application until high school

Get her ears pierced? I'm a body piercer. I pierce them myself within first year

Use tampons? whenever they ask to.

Have the sex talk? whenever they start asking questions and adjusting the detail of my answer based on their age and maturity level. Young kids get a basic "this is how babies are made" chat and older kids get the "STD and pregnancy" talks

Date? 16-18

Use birth control? 18 unless they need it for medical reason

Get a cell phone? I would consider getting them a phone that can only call me, their dad, grandma, and 911 around 10yrs old

ME - posted on 10/08/2010

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Shave: 12 or 13 depending on development
Wear Makeup: out of the house; 12 or 13 depending on how reasonable she's being about it...
Ears Pierced: whenever she's old enough to pay for it, and take care of it herself...
Use tampons: don't care
Have the sex talk: I'll be honest with her whenever she asks, but if she hasn't asked by 8 or 9 I'll probably talk about menstruation, pregnancy, etc at that point at an age-appropriate level...
Date: 15 -16 depending on how responsible she is
Birth Control: I will tell her about it, and tell her to talk to me if she thinks she needs it or wants to take precautions
Cellphone: a real one: when she's old enough to pay for it on her own. She can have a phone that I can program 4 or 5 #'s into when she is 10-11

Denikka - posted on 10/08/2010

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Shave her legs?
First time I tried, I was 11. I tried to dry shave. . .yea...never again XP I think once she becomes self conscious about it and asks.

Wear makeup?
This one's tricky for me. My little sister (16 now) has been wearing fairly heavy makeup since she was about 13 (play makeup at home and occasionally out since she was. . .7or 8. But it greatly started her love of aesthetics and has developed into a career choice. And while her makeup might be heavy, it's always classy and tasteful.
On the flip side, I just about NEVER wear makeup and when I do, it's JUST eyeshadow.
So I'm thinking we'll probably let our little girl start playing with makeup between 6 and 8, and then judge out her style and see how much is allowed out of the house from there.

Get her ears pierced?
We plan on getting the done just before we move, so she'll be 6-7 months old at the time.

Use tampons?
Whenever she wants to. I was forced to use pads from the beginning, and always chaffed that I wasn't given an option.

Have the sex talk?
Starts from day one. From naming the parts when she's an infant to explaining their uses and everything else as she asks questions.

Date?
I would be okay with group dating at 13 or so, single dates at 15/16. But of course, it all depends on WHO she's dating as to how comfortable I am letting them go out by themselves and that will be judged person to person.

Use birth control?
I started when I was 12. For bad acne. It's ROYALLY screwed over my cycle and done some serious damage to my liver. I would HOPE to never have to put my little girl on b/c unless they come up with something that's a lot safer. If she asks, I'll do it, but she will know my feelings on it and the importance of condoms will be hugely stressed. She'll have open access to whatever kind of birth control she chooses to use.

Get a cell phone?
I just turned 21 and just got my first cell. It'll depend on my daughter, why she wants/needs one and how capable she is to look after it (I will NOT replace a cell every 6 months. EVER) I would think that around 13 would be a good age, but that's also dependent on whether she needs one before that or not.

Jocelyn - posted on 10/07/2010

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Shave her legs? when she needs to/wants too
Wear makeup? no younger than 10 (and I'm talking about starting slowly, like with glitter lip gloss lol)
Get her ears pierced? when she asks.
Use tampons? when she starts her period.
Have the sex talk? depends...no later than 8 years!
Date? depends on her maturity...I'm going to ballpark 12 yrs for group, 14 for one-on-one dates.
Use birth control? this one also depends...probably by 15/16 yrs
Get a cell phone? again it depends...lets say 12yrs

Sharon - posted on 10/07/2010

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Shave her legs 13
Make up - natural look @14 additional @16 dramatic @18
Ears pierced - already done. @18 can decide on additional holes
Use tampons - when she gets her period
Sex talk - already started
Date - group dates @14 - 16 loosely chaperoned with an adult in the area - like the mall etc.
Birth control - depends on her circumstances but I think 16 would be the earliest for convenience (sports or pain management)
Cell phone - the boys got cells @9 - she'll be nine next year, unless she's to immature, then we'll put it off.

Serena - posted on 10/07/2010

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Shave her legs? when she wants to. I come from a hairy group of people and I had to do it in secret because my mom wouldn't let me but the girls at school teased me...so the first time she asks I will let her.

Wear makeup? i think it depends on what she wants to wear. if its just foundation or lip gloss thats fine, but i will not have my 12 year old looking 16...

Get her ears pierced? we just got them done yesterday and she is 6 months but she looks so cute :)
Use tampons? when she is ready to, not really looking forward to that
Have the sex talk? 45...thats when I will feel comfortable with the idea of her having sex LOL. Probably around the time of her first sex ed class. They give her the physical and I give the emotional part she needs to know about...like the phrase "I'm not raising any grandbabies!"
Date? after she is married (did you get the contradiction...thats the point NEVER :) ) I think it will depend on the situation.
Use birth control? when she gets her period, there is so many benefits that come with it like regulating and making heavy periods lighter. I just won't tell her dad til she's 25.
Get a cell phone? it seems like younger and younger now kids are getting cell phones. who knows by the time she's in kindegarten?
My daughter is 6 months now so its easy for me to think that these problems aren't right around the corner but I know they will be here sooner than I will be ready for. Its like they say "the days drag on but the years fly by".

Lindsay - posted on 10/07/2010

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Shave her legs? When there is a need and it bothers her. I will try to hold her off as long as possible because it is a pain in the ass. But really just whenever she decides she's ready for it.

Wear makeup? If she shows an interest (i'm sure she will, she's a total priss), she can start using age appropriate make up once she's in middle school. She will not leave the house looking like a clown though!
Get her ears pierced? Whenever she shows the desire to have them pierced. I had mine done at 5 and don't see an issue with it. She's 5 now and has asked once. I was honest with her and told her I would take her right then but did explain that it will hurt some. She changed her mind and her ears are still intact.
Use tampons? Tampons will be available to her just as pads. We will talk about both and proper hygene using either and they are there for her whenever she chooses.
Have the sex talk? It's an ongoing daily conversation. How we treat it now is that if she asks, she gets an accurate answer. If I feel she's not asking about certain things by the time she needs to know, I will start it up.
Date? For one on one dating, I would say no earlier than 15 but anything is subject to change based on her maturity and attitude at the time. There will always be "boyfriends" at school and if she's out with a group of friends, I don't really have an issue.

Use birth control? This one is hard to say. We will cross that bridge when we get there. There's no set age for me.

Get a cell phone? We will provide a very basic phone once either kid starts going places without us. It will be strictly phone calls with minimum minutes. If they want to text or extra "frills", they can upgrade when they can pay for it.

Sarah - posted on 10/07/2010

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Shave her legs - I'll try and put her off as long as possible! I think I was 12 or 13, so around then if she needs it.

Wear make up - My 6yr old has worn make up (eyeshadow and lip gloss) for fun occasionally, just at home. I wouldn't want her to be going to school in make up until at least 15 or 16, but it all depends I guess. I know some of the girls at my school wore thick orangey foundation, badly applied and looked like little prostitutes!! She won't be going out looking like that, ever!!

Ears pierced - 11 or 12yrs. No way they're having it done until they cope with the pain (my eldest is a REALwimp!!) and can be trusted to look after them.

Use tampons - once she has her period (obviously) and feels ready to try. Took me a good few years until I was ready to have a go!!

Sex talk - as and when she asks questions.

Date - er..........I'd love to say never, but I guess she will meet boys at school and start "dating" them. As for going out to the cinema and stuff with them.....about 15 16? .........25?!?!?!?! (that's my hopeful side!)

Birth control - depends, I went on the pill at 15 because I got REALLY bad period pains. Would have to see what happens with that one!

Mobile Phone - Once she can pay for the bill or top up herself.

Amber-Dawn - posted on 10/06/2010

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When she feels she's ready.
Not until high school, and even then lightly
When she can take care of them, so around 12-14
When her period starts and she feels comfortable with them
Before she starts thinking about getting curious she'll be getting a very kid-friendly version, more as she gets older
Never!!! I don't even want to think about it
14. Alot of people say when they start having sex. I think it's better to be prepared before that happens.
When she starts going out on her own for extended periods, and even then, very limited on the features, and she won't be allowed to take it to school

Ez - posted on 10/06/2010

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Shave her legs - will depend on how hairy she is, but not before 11-12.



Wear makeup - clear lip gloss and mascara around 13, but nothing major until much later, and certainly no full faces of make up to school!



Ears pierced - at least 6, and only then if I am convinced she understands that it will hurt (and not just in the moment) and she will have to look after them.



Use tampons - when she feels comfortable with it. I got my period at 11 and the idea of tampons terrified me at that point. It was several years before I got up the courage to do it lol.



Sex talk - probably around 8. I started puberty early so I need to get in early in case she does too. Although obviously it will be catered to her maturity and level of interest.



Date - Definitely not before 15 or 16. There is plenty of time to tie yourself down to a boy!



Birth Control - when she is sexually active



Cell phone - when she can at least contribute to the bill.

Desiree - posted on 10/06/2010

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I think that it dpends on the maturity of the child. For instance my Daughter has had her ears peirced since she was 5. Shaving her leags I decided to allow her to do so because it was becoming an issue with her. Make up not before she is 14 at least. Sex Talk in this day and age you are crazy not to have "the Talk" When she is 10. Dating 16 there is plenty of time. Tampons not before she is 16. same with birth control. My daughter has had a cell since she was 10.
Besides the childs maturity it also depends on the parents being able and willing to deal with the different levels of gowing.

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Shave her legs? Depends on when puberty hits but I'd say 11ish
Wear makeup? Well, I don't wear makeup, so I'm not really sure. A little bit, every now and then for special occasions...maybe 14? Every day full make up? Never, LOL no really....maybe 18. I don't like makeup in general but esp. not on a child.
Get her ears pierced? 11 - when she can look after them herself. I got major infections when I got my ears pierced at 6. Was so gross.
Use tampons? That's her choice.
Have the sex talk? I think there are stages to the sex talk. But I'd say most of the details by 10, everything by 14.
Date? depends on her maturity level at the time. supervised, I'm fine with 12 or 13
Use birth control? Again, it depends on what she's like at the time but maybe 14. The pill has benefits other than preventing pregnancies and I'd rather be safe than sorry. I wouldn't be condoning her having sex and we'd talk about it A LOT but I think around 14 is fine.
A cellphone? Depends on when I start letting her walk to and from school by herself. Maybe 8? There'd be a lot of rules in place though.

Tah - posted on 10/05/2010

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her and her husband can discuss bc since she will be a virgin until then being as though she won't sex because we won't talk about it.

she already has one..she is 8..thank her father, she came home with at & t plan...

Jodi - posted on 10/05/2010

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Shave legs: When she starts getting self-concious about them/changing for gym class.
Wear Make-up: Junior high, lip gloss and mascara, but not the full works until highschool-ish and only as long as she keeps it classy not trashy.
Get her ears pierced: On the fence, but no younger than 8 for sure.
Use Tampons: Whenever she wants after starting to menstruate.
Have the sex talk: To me, it's not a one time thing, it's little mini discussions and comments all thrughout life. Big one when she starts dating or showing interest in boys.
Date: I like other's idea of group dates for middle/junior high. "Real" dating at 15 or 16.
Use birth control: Depends on my confidence in her decision making skills and how our "big" sex talk goes!!! lol
Get a cell phone: My husband and I have discussed letting our children choose between a car or a phone at the age of 16...at 17 they can get a phone IF they can pay the bill and have shown they are responsible enough to not text/call while driving.

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~ Shave her legs: 6th grade is our agreed upon answer

~ Wear makeup: "big girl" makeup - 9th grade. "play" makeup she wears now (she's 8), but not in public and I don't let her go ovrboard (she honestly doesn't use it that much, maybe once or twice a month).

~ Get her ears peirced: Our oldest got hers peirced when she was 4 and they got really infected last Christmas (about 6 months after she begged and swore she could be responsible enough to take care of them herself and we gave her a chance). Now she has to wait for them to heal completely. Her little sisters can get them done at 8 if they want them then.

~ Use tampons: when she starts her period. I ALWAYS used tampons and thought pads were gross (plus I was a ballerina and pads just felt yucky in my leotard! lol), so I understand completely the need for other options.

~ Have the sex talk: We've had an edited version of the sex talk already (she asked about it). It's just the basics, but I am sure we will get more into it in the next few years or so. I am sure we will follow the same schedule with all our daughters.

~ Date: 16, but group dates are okay at 8th grade. This is the rule my parents had with me and I completely agree with it.

~ Use birth control: When she's sexually active. I am SOOO hping for no younger than 15... Of course, I wasn't sexually active until I was 19 (almost 20) and I was on birth control since I was 16, but that was for extremely irregular periods, so if there was something like that going on of course I would put my daughters on birth control to help with it.

~ Get a cell phone: This one's tricky for us. Our oldest (8 years old) has one now, but that's so her biological mother can't claim that we restrict phone access (long story, but the short version is that our oldest lives with us full time, her bio mom lives 2600 miles away, they haven't seen eachother since January 1st and they haven't spoken on the phone since May 9th). I think we will make our other daughters wait until they are at least 14.

Johnny - posted on 10/05/2010

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Shave her legs? When they need it & get hairy or if all her friends are actually doing it & she begs. I'll discourage it as long as possible though. For her own good, it's a pain in the ass to do.

Wear makeup? A little blush and lip gloss. Probably when she goes to highschool. And as she gets older more as she grows. I will take her to learn how to do it properly though.

Ears pierced? 12 if she's well-behaved. I'm going to lord it over her to make her do my bidding until I feel she's really ready.

Use tampons? Whenever she chooses. As long as she knows and understands the importance of frequent changes.

Have the sex talk? Always, content age dependent. I will always answer any question she asks though.

Date? 35. I'm just joking. IDK. Probably 15/16 on her own. When they're younger "group dates" might be okay if the kids are good kids.

Birth control? Whenever she needs it, asks, gets it herself, whatever. I started way before I was sexually active to try to control my heavy periods. Using birth control didn't lead me to run out and have sex.

Get a cell phone? When she can pay the bill.

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Shave her legs - middle school (grade 6 about age 11)

Wear makeup - Start with a small amount sometime during middle school. Over the next few years work your way up to the full deal.

Ears Pierced - When she's old enough to ask and take care of them herself, depends on the kid, I was 9

Tampons - when the period starts

Sex Talk - like makeup, little by little. Be open and honest with her questions. Maybe start with the basics around age 6 or 7.

Date - never! Ummm seriously, group dating about 14, one on one about 16 with a reasonable curfew

Birth control - depends, some girls need it for medical reasons

Cell phone - She can have a basic cell phone when she starts going out alone. This will be for safety reasons.

Joanna - posted on 10/05/2010

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Honestly, it all depends on their maturity and responsibility levels. Granted one is 3 and the other isn't even born yet, but I plan on taking all these issues as they come depending on each child. One girl might get the sex talk at 7 and one at 9, one might be responsible enough for cell phone at 13 and one not until she's 17. We'll just have to see.

Jodi - posted on 10/05/2010

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I haven't decided yet......not for certain. I think a lot of these will depend on a number of things. I'll know when it is the right time when the time comes. So far knowing when the time is right has worked in raising my son, I can't see why it won't work with my daughter.

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When she feels the need.



Maybe a little in Jr High, maybe not til high school.. not sure yet.



Once they can prove to me they are responisble enough to care for them... maybe 10 (not there yet).



Sometime after they start their period. ;) They are gymnasts, so it will 'probably' not be something they'll want to wait on... again, not there yet.



Starting to have the 'sex talk'? 8.5 ;) But we're only in the beginning stages of those discussions still.



16



Hopefully not until they are ready to get married, but if they are going to be having sex anyway I'd rather they get on it... in addition to condoms.



I'd get them one now if I could guarantee it would get service at their dad's. Since I can't... when they are driving and ready to pay the bill themselves.

JuLeah - posted on 10/05/2010

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Shave her legs ... when it is an issue for her
Wear make-up ... IF she doesn't think she NEEDS that to have the look she needs to have frriends. If she doesn't think she looks ugly without it. Then in her late teens.
Get her ears pierced .... when she is old enough to take care of them without reminding
Use tampons .... when she is comfortable with it
Have the sex talk .... we have had it every day of her life
Date .... in groups, mid teens. Alone, later teens.
Use birth control - when she starts having sex
Get a cell phone ... when she can pay the bill

Kate CP - posted on 10/05/2010

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Shave her legs: at least 13

Wear make-up: 13, but it can't be obvious stuff. Tinted lip gloss, some clear mascara, maybe some blush I would be okay with.

Get her ears pierced: When she's old enough to take care of it herself.

Use tampons: When she has her period.

Have the sex talk: I have to start this early because all the girls in my family start their periods around age 10. So around 7-8 is when we'll have the puberty talk and as she matures and asks more questions and I feel she's ready we'll talk more about sex and birth control.

Date: According to her father...35. ;) I started "dating" when I was 13-14 which meant I went out with a boy while my mom or his mom supervised the entire time. I would be okay with supervised outings when she's about 14.

Use birth control: When she's sexually active, whenever that may be. God willing it won't be until she's 17 or 18. :P



Edited to add:

Cell phone: I haven't even stopped to think about this one yet. When she's old enough to go out on her own for a few hours with friends. Like if I drop her at the mall and she and some friends are walking around I want her to have a cell phone at that point.

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