My kid is smart/healthy/beautiful/wonderful...

Caitlin - posted on 06/27/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I hear moms say this all the time, I rarely see people admit that their kdi can be a big shit sometimes, and I thought it was funny. I think I have a habit of telling it like it is (which scares the living daylights out of my sister who has yet to have kids, but wants them). The terrible twos are really terrible. About half the time I can't wait for the kids to get to bed so I can have an hour or so of peace. My daughter isn't showing exceptional signs of intelligence (I can boast she is a lefty though, because that much i've figured out).

I just don't get it sometimes how we have to "justify" ourselves to other moms by telling them our kids are smart/healthy/beautiful etc... To me my kid is the cutest thing in the world, but to those ugly kids I see at the mall that make me cringe, their moms probably think they are the cutest kids too, who cares? My daughter isn't exceptionally healthy either, but that's not really my fault, unless you count the fact that asthma/allergies/eczema run in the family, but that doesn't mean i'm a bad mom. My kids spent the whole day driving me upt he damn wall and I coudln't wait to get away from them. Don't get me wrong, they have their moments, but it's really hard to see that when you turn your back for a minute and find your toddler playing in her pee in the potty, and rubbing it everywhere (on her - ick!). It doens't make me a bad mom that I get flustered and forget things half the time I go to the store.

I guess I just wonder, why do we glorify our kids so much to people we likely will never meet? People that meet my kids think they are wonderful, and I guess that's all that matters in the end, because either they are blind or i'm doing something right after all.

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Amber - posted on 06/27/2011

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I don't think that there's a whole lot to add that the other moms haven't said already.

Sure, my kid has days where he's difficult and it's just not working for us, but overall he has a positive attitude and listens well.

I look at it this way. I have shit days too, but I would hate it if Chad described me to his friends/family/coworkers as a lazy bitch who drives him crazy. That's not who I am 95% of the time, so why would he say it? It's the same thing when I'm talking about my son.

Kylie - posted on 06/27/2011

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I say it because it's trueeee! I also tell people when they give me a hard time and I'm ready to list them on ebay.
I hate it when parents talk about the bad things and their negative feelings about their kids while the kids are in earshot.
Have you heard of the law of attraction Caitlin? Say something enough and it'll come true, or focus on the positive and you'll get more positives :p

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/27/2011

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Because in the parents eyes, the kids truly are all that.

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Merry - posted on 06/28/2011

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I think sometimes their problem areas can also be turned into their strong areas when you talk about them, like my son is ridiculously needy and sometimes clingy and whiny. But I can word that to make it sound like a positive, I can say he's caring, and loving, and sensitive empathetic and personable.



He has times when he won't listen and he just runs away and plays without obeying me and he will not stop when I call hum, but I can say he's energetic and independent and spirited.



He's two and he still needs to be nursed and needs me to put him to bed and nap, and he has a comfort rag and sucks his thumb so some would call that a 'baby' but I can say he's just really bonded to me and very attached to me.



It's all in the words you choose, there's usually a good way to describe most bad behaviors. It just depends on what picture you want to paint. And I think most of us adore our kids as a whole and usually just want others to see them like we do-as amazing little people.

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Nikki it's a girl and a boy but thanks for that information because the youngest is also a boy, so i have some fun years ahead of me :p

Nikki - posted on 06/28/2011

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Are your 2 out of 3 boys Shannen? Boys are worse between 3 and 4. First burst of testosterone is to blame.

Anyway back on topic, I love Amber's take on this. I would never walk around bitching about what a lazy arse shit my husband can be to total strangers, I focus on his good points. Plus watching other people's misbehaving kids tends to make me feel so thankful I have such an awesome daughter. Don't get me wrong, she can tantrum with the best of them and refuses to leave my side day or night but she is, in my eyes, beautiful, clever, caring and wonderful.

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All i can say is i refuse to believe this terrible 2's thing. For me with 2 out of 3 it's been or still happening to be the terrible 3's.
If my kids and i get out of the house for even an hour a day they are brilliant but if we miss that hour due to bad weather yeah sure i wanna lock them up and duct tape them so they can't move or scream but 9 times out of 10 they really are good kids.

Johnny - posted on 06/27/2011

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"The compliments I love are the ones where they tell me how friendly my kids are, how compassionate, how mindful of their manners, they're the first to help, etc. Those are the moments I know I am doing right by my kids. "

You nailed it Amie.

Amie - posted on 06/27/2011

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It's not glorifying, unless you actually believe other people's children are a bunch of hell spawn. =/



Try as I might, when our 3rd hit her terrible two....three... year stage. No one would take her. I even offered to ship her around the world to my friends FOR FREE and they still wouldn't take her. So much for being honest; just makes no one want to watch the lil boogers. LOL!!



I love my kids, I enjoy my kids, we're close and they are exceptional - to me. To other people - they are exceptional in certain areas. I've told more than one person to NOT tell my children they are pretty/handsome/etc. I really can not stand that. If you tell me, fine, don't tell them. Like I need kids with bloated heads walking around here. The compliments I love are the ones where they tell me how friendly my kids are, how compassionate, how mindful of their manners, they're the first to help, etc. Those are the moments I know I am doing right by my kids.



Even on the days I want to go and hide and let them fend for themselves, or on the days I want to lock them in cages, or even on the days I want to sit and cry because all fucking four of them decided to act up and I swear I just grew another white hair. =/



Kids. =) The bad days do not trump the good days. So ya, I prefer to focus (yes and sometimes brag) on them. To save my sanity and to remind me why I'm a mother.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 06/27/2011

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My first born is 8 and he and I have a really good relationship. He is an average kid, but what stands out is his compassion for others (unless they mess with his mama) so I do often talk about that, it amazes me because I never expected him to be that way. Yes he is loud when excited, and has sooooooooooooo much energy that I use to get upset because he would rarely sit still. (he is calming down more and more..when he first turned 7 I first notcied and asked him if he was okay, or I would check his head for a temp...one day he asked " mom why do you always ask me this" I said because I'm use to you bouncing off the walls.... He said "mom I'm fine, I'm just getting older" lol

Personally i dont mind a parent bragging all the time as long as the parent can admit there child has their days of being obnoxious or unruly.....

Johnny - posted on 06/27/2011

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We have more good moments than bad, so for me they get more notice. I definitely have had occasions when I really wish we.could still lock children in closets, but it doesn't happen so often that it dominates how I feel about being a mom. I actually really do like it a lot. My kid is no genius, but she is sure smarter than I was at that age (as my parents seem to love to mention). I definitely do NOT ever brag about her looks though because she already thinks she is the most gorgeous thing ever as a result of every freaking stranger stopping to tell her that and stroke her hair. Not helpful.

Lady Heather - posted on 06/27/2011

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I don't feel like I do glorify my kid. She has obvious skills that I am happy to share (really good at puzzles, eating, sleeping) and then she has things that she doesn't do so well (TANTRUMS, soother addict, library time). Like I say, when you have the kid that doesn't try walking until she's 21 months old, you sort of give up on having the wonderbaby. I'm rather used to her being behind with some things and it would be kind of hard to hide. She is amazingly healthy though. I must have packed a good punch with that 2 weeks of breastfeeding. Ha.

Regardless of her strengths and not-so-strengths, she's perfectly perfect to me because she's mine. :)

Nikkole - posted on 06/27/2011

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My kids are beautiful and smart and wonderful, but they can be little demons too! My son is emotional and my daughter has an attitude and there only 3 and 1 lol my kids ARE FAR from perfect but so am i but they are my everything and i love them (even when they are being bad)!

JuLeah - posted on 06/27/2011

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I am lucky I guess. I mean most parents' love their kids, but I also really trully like my child. She is fun, funny, sweet, kind hearted ... has her moments, has her days, don't we all ... but I like her, respect her, enjoy her company ... she cracks me up ... we never had terrible twos ... she's nine now, so I doubt we will

Joanna - posted on 06/27/2011

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Haha, I'm the opposite... people always comment on how well-behaved my kids are, or how cute or funny etc etc... I say "HA! if only you could see them at home...."

Vicki - posted on 06/27/2011

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Well I think we're biologically set up to think our kids are wonderful so we don't leave them out for the bears.

I think my boy IS stunningly beautiful, he is healthy, I don't think a tiny bit of excema and the occasional snots classes him as unhealthy, never had a temperature or anything.

My partner though is always going on about how smart he is. He's normal, in fact his speech is in the very late range of normal. I don't think his intelligence is any more or less than other kids his age. He's learning and discovering every day which is amazing to witness, but overall he's just a normal, wonderful 2 year old who I'm honoured to witness growing up.

Rosie - posted on 06/27/2011

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why? because our kids are the most important things in our life. it's our job to shape these little people into wonderful functioning members of society. if they pee on the potty or say please it means we are doing our job well. we need affirmation that we're doing well, just like kids do! :)

i don't know anyone who doesn't admit their kids are little shits sometimes. hell, sometimes my kids seem determined to make me slit my wrists, my friends and family know this,it's no secret (especially when they turn into demons in front of them). but then there are the times where they do something great, that i know i mustof done something right, and it makes me feel good, so i brag about it.



but MY kids really are beautiful....and smart.....;P

Becky - posted on 06/27/2011

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I think most parents say that because it's how they truly feel about their kids. Sure, all of our kids are little turds sometimes and there are days when we might want to sell them to the highest bidder, but overall, we do think they are adorable, lovable, smart, funny, beautiful, etc. A parent who only focussed on the bad wouldn't be a very good parent. (editted to change bad to good, because it makes more sense. :)

I am honest about my kids. I'll tell people I'm ready to pull my hair out and lock them in their room after the 3rd time in 4 hours that I have had to vacuum something they dumped all over the floor! But even when they seem to be determined to drive me to the loony bin, I still think they are adorable, wonderful kids. And it's a good thing, because otherwise, they wouldn't survive some days! :)

ME - posted on 06/27/2011

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I am well aware of my kid's "issues"...neither of them has very many or very serious issues at this point tho, so why would I focus on those things about raising them that are occasionally difficult, stressful, or concerning. Don't mistake me, when those things need to be focused on, or addressed, I am right there dealing with them...but my kids are smart (not brilliant, but smart), cute (not gorgeous, but cute), and healthy (one has bad teeth and the other chronic ear infections, but nothing life threatening)...so, what do I have to complain about???

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