My Princess Boy (this is a video)

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 10/22/2010 ( 31 moms have responded )

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I know many of you don’t mind letting your sons play dress up…but would you let him do it all the time, would there be too much…

Do you agree with this mom???

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Dana - posted on 10/23/2010

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You know, this kid could grow up to be an awesome clothes designer, you just never know. I also don't think there's anything wrong with calling the clothes pretty or sparkly, they're only girly clothes if they're on a girl! :)

Kylie - posted on 10/24/2010

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aww its lovely how supportive family is especially his brother. so sweet.

But i remember when my daughter would only wear shorts and "boys clothes" and i had all these beautiful dresses that i didn't want to just sit in the closet until she out grew them so a started a Tuesday dress day rule. was i squashing her spirit and not supporting her authentic self? I doubt it.

I think you need to support kids passions but there also got to be some balance. My kid is obsessed with cartwheels, handstands and doing the splits...she wants to them at school and in the car park, in the shopping isles and even during dinner. But i have to stop her and teach her about time and place..life isn't all about having fun every moment of the day, even for 5 year old's.

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"Either you, as a parent, can tell your son that he can dress any way he wants at home but out in the world there are hurtful mean people that we need to protect ourselves from, or you can tell him nothing and send him out into the world to be DEVASTATED."

Really? We all know that people are going to be cruel. Kids especially. But why can't we teach OUR children that they are strong beautiful Individuals. NO Matter what they wear. Clothes are clothes nothing else!

Jennifer - posted on 10/23/2010

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as parents it is important for us to let our children be who they are...to accept them completely and to know that it is OKAY and BEAUTIFUL to be different. if we all fit neatly into societies gender expectations, what a boring world we would live in!



i do worry that this boy is going to have a hard time growing up but it also seems like he has great parents and it seems like they know that they have to give him the tools he's going to need to stay strong against discrimination. i love how supportive his dad seems!

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Dana - posted on 10/25/2010

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Laura, I agree that he's going to face nastiness but, I also think that letting him be who he is and supporting that shows him that acceptance is what is normal (and right), not the nastiness.

Isobel - posted on 10/25/2010

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I'm not saying I'm against it...and if this boy was in my kids' class I would surely be sitting them down and educating them...surely you all know just what a homophobe I am ;P

I'm just saying that I don't think I could handle watching a child that young fight against that kind of prejudice...I think it takes a certain amount of strength and maturity to be able to stand in front of a crowd and say yeah...so what?

It would be a LOT harder for a small boy who doesn't even realize that he's different yet to face the nastiness and hatred that is headed his way.

Lucy - posted on 10/25/2010

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Wow, great parents.

As adults we can really complicate things and read problems into a situation where there aren't any. Why shouldn't a boy like glitter and bright colours and pretty fabric? My son (3) is very attached at the moment to a pink, double strand bead necklace and wears it everywhere. It hasn't crossed my mind to stop him. Sure, some people might think it looks odd to see a little boy in jewellery playing cowboys, or water fights or riding his bike, but it's such a minor thing, it just doesn't matter.

The brother really has a lesson to all the adults who would question allowing a child to express himself in this way when he says "Why not just let him be happy?". Simple, and common sense.

Jane - posted on 10/25/2010

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Amazing mom..Amazing dad...I 100% AGREE WITH THEM! Wouldn't it be nice if all parents did this or taught from the book that was written? My son played with dolls a lot when he was little because my olddest is a girl and she had a lot of dolls! My daughter preferred the boy stuff that my son had. It's ALL OK! Happy is what we want for our kids....AND MAN is he ever a cutie pie!

Amie - posted on 10/25/2010

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I think this goes beyond the natural phase of boys playing dress up. He seems to honestly identify with girls. Which is fine too.

It's sad that he will probably come up against a lot negativity. The only real way to true tolerance and acceptance is with the steps we take. While this boy and his family may not be main stream, I'm sure there are plenty families out there who have children (whether boy or girl) who identify with the opposite gender at this young of an age. There is nothing wrong with this, it is not abnormal. It just is. This boy may be one who grows up and wants a sex change.

I'm glad he has acceptance at home, that they are doing what they can to minimize the negative people he will, and probably has, come up against. At least he has a home where he is loved and accepted. People with closed minds don't deserve to know this boy or family, they are brave and have a fortitude not seen in many people. They are willing to stand up and say, it's ok, you are you and we love you. A lot of people, I'm sure, would rather stuff their kid in a closet and deny it all.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 10/24/2010

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Im a firm believer in “To each there own”
My husband is the type of man that is “Boys don’t cry, Man up” and I the mother who says its ok if you cry and share how you feel…
My son is a boys, boys…he’s clearly into girls, loves wrestling, and all that boys do….
If my son who is 7mos wanted to dress in girl clothes…It would not go over well with his father…I would be more lenient …to let him…

Vicki - posted on 10/24/2010

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I found this has me thinking about a book I found when my son was younger, "Real Boys."

Boys have it hard! Essentially, what it means to be a boy, is to be NOT a girl. The book goes on to explain how boys, much more so than girls, have to separate early from their mothers because of this. Boys aren't "supposed" to be like girls, they aren't supposed to talk about feelings, emotions, or the like. They aren't supposed to like cute little animals, or cooking, or cleaning, or take on any of the traditional "motherly" roles.

The book, "Real Boys," doesn't get into cross-dressing, so far as I can recall. It does touch on homosexuality and boys who "feel" differently from other boys. There is this certain code among boys that they need to be tough, and be macho, and this isn't perpetuated only by boys! We all learn it from our parents, our teachers, as well as our peers.

Girls wear pink and boys wear blue. Honestly, I find that ALL to be ridiculous! As soon as you're born, you are assigned to wear either pink or blue, and may god save your soul if you even think about wearing the other color... Yet, as women have become more "equal" to men, girls can get away with wearing blue. It is not so easy just yet for boys. There are still reports of kids being beaten for wearing pink. And yes, by telling your child that he can wear this color, BUT NOT IN PUBLIC, is perpetuating that FEAR of being different! By telling your son that no, he may not wear a dress to school, someday he might very well be the one to beat on another kid whose mother DID allow him the individuality to wear such a thing!

My roommate's boyfriend is a wonderful guy, and he has said he'd be pleased as punch to be able to dress "like a girl" everyday. But that is simply not "acceptable" in this society.

Growing up, I was your typical tomboy. I do not think I wore a single item of pink after age six, and a dress, rarely. If my mother had insisted I would have been devastated! I think, for that reason, I am very happy to have a baby boy! I can dress him in the same fashion I do myself. He's almost two years old, and yes, he LOVES jewelry. I would not object to putting him into a cute skirt (because some of those little skirts ARE cute!), but he hasn't asked yet. He isn't really big into dress up yet, but I am just waiting for the day that I can get him into a princess outfit!

Nicole - posted on 10/24/2010

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My son likes dressing up too and I let him wear whatever he wants to wear indoors and then when we go out, I get him to wear regular clothing.

People can be mean and I don't want to risk him losing his creative spark because of some judgemental jerks.

Dana - posted on 10/24/2010

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I'm talking about ignoring your child and telling them it's wrong to feel a certain way, that is squashing your child's spirit.

Dana - posted on 10/24/2010

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Laura, so then we go back to telling people to hide who they are because society doesn't accept them. Back into the closet you go! Scoot!

Lindsay - posted on 10/24/2010

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This mother and father deserve a standing ovation. They should be the standard for accepting their child's differences and being proactive to help break down barriers and stereotypes. I can't imagine how scary that must be for a parent to realize what struggles their child may be faced with in the future.

I've never limited what my children wear when they are playing around the house. Both my son and daughter have worn things from both genders at different times. But, I've always dressed them when we go out. I wouldn't take my son out of the house in a tutu, but I wouldn't my daughter either. I have seen my son naturally phase out of the girl dress up thing though. He prefers the superhero things now. It was a natural progression.

Isobel - posted on 10/24/2010

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skirts and dresses are girl clothes...sorry, it's just a fact (unless of course it's a kilt).

and I'm sorry but allowing him to live life dressed as a girl at school and everywhere else isn't going to break his spirit...it's going to break his nose. Unfortunate but true.

Either you, as a parent, can tell your son that he can dress any way he wants at home but out in the world there are hurtful mean people that we need to protect ourselves from, or you can tell him nothing and send him out into the world to be DEVASTATED.

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I think it's important that children are allwed to dress-up and use role play to learn but going as far as encouraging and allowing this everyday IMO isn't normal.

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This mother is awesome. She admitted that at 1st it was difficult for her. Why can't he appreciate the pretty things in life? My sons have an older sister that who they learn from. My 2yr old loves his sisters toys and all her pretty dresses and sparkly hair clips. When i do her hair all up and pretty he wants his done the same. I do it. He walked around for half the day waiting for daddy to get home with a headband on just cause he wanted to show daddy how pretty he was. In the same token my daughter wanted a Pink Thomas train for her b'day all because her brother had a train. There shouldn't be this gender specificness on anything they are children why cant boys be pretty and girls be rough?

Ez - posted on 10/23/2010

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What a wonderful, accepting, supportive family! The big brother is just precious. I'm sure it has been a rough journey, and I can understand the mother's concern that her child will be bullied. Because, let's face it, there's not much chance that he won't. It's a sad reality.

I honestly don't know exactly what I would do if it were my child, other than to say I would never condemn or ostracize them because they happen to be different. I would like to think I would actively support any of their desires, but I do think I would be scared for them and perhaps try and limit it to at home. I love that this family has enlisted the help of the school though, in making this little boy's life as easy as possible in the face of huge societal pressure.

[deleted account]

My son likes to put on his sisters dresses and stuff. We keep it in the house, but he does use their old, pink Dora umbrella outside. He's being raised in a house w/ all females, but is still very much into trucks and dinosaurs and such...

Dana - posted on 10/23/2010

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Yes, I agree with the mother, I would fully support my child. What else can you do, crush their spirit?

Kate CP - posted on 10/23/2010

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The only problem I have with this is the same problem I have with girls wearing skirts and dresses: KEEP YOUR LEGS DOWN! Nobody needs to see your panties. ;P

My daughter has a tendency to flash people while wearing dresses and skirts so we try to get her things that either have the shorts sewn in or get her to wear shorts under the dress/skirt.

Serena - posted on 10/23/2010

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The tears flowed as his brother talked about just letting him be happy. I wasn't expecting to cry at this...
I honestly don't know what I would do. I would be very accepting of my son's choice if it wasn't just a phase though I know I would secretly hope so. Only because I know its going to be a rough road ahead and as a parent we want our children to hurt as little as possible. I would do my best to warn him about the ignorant bigots out there (I would use more kid friendly words hopefully) and if he still wanted to wear these clothes out and about I would support him as much as possible. He can keep me up-to-date on the new fashions, LOL

Alahnna - posted on 10/23/2010

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My son loves to dress up in dresses and pretend he is his sister's "sister" when they play dressup. He still loves to play cars and superheroes, trucks and ride bikes. I see no reason a child can't explore both sexualities as they grow up. It's a learning experience

Jenn - posted on 10/23/2010

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OK - I think the problem is with my audio driver or something so I'm trying to fix the problem. I'm guessing this little boy likes to wear "girly" stuff? I don't have a problem with it. We have a big princess dress that my niece gave us (she outgrew it) and my son likes to wear it sometimes, I've got pics of him in my rhinestone tiara, and he used to "breastfeed" dolls. What does it matter really?

Isobel - posted on 10/23/2010

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Quentin used to love playing dress up with Eve too...and get his toes painted...we used to call him fancy pants :)

Jenny - posted on 10/23/2010

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My son loves to put on my tank tops and shoes and play Princess. I don't encourage or discourage it as it's not a big deal to me either way. He's 2, so who cares right?

Isobel - posted on 10/23/2010

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The link worked for me...I find it interesting that she can't say that he's wearing girly clothes...she keeps saying pretty or beautiful or sparkly.

I think it's great that she's letting him dress this way, but she should probably help him out by teaching him to keep it at home, cause man oh man...the kids are going to be CRUEL!

C. - posted on 10/23/2010

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I don't know.. My son likes more masculine things.. Cars, super heros.. But he also likes cleaning, too..

I DO think that there comes a time when parents kind of encourage this kind of behavior. I don't think it's wrong for kids to play dress up or anything. I don't think it's wrong for girls to play with cars and boys to play with makeup brushes (my son does that, and so did my nephew at my son's age). I just don't really know what to think about it, honestly.

Jenn - posted on 10/23/2010

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Aside from the fact that my computer is slow and it will take forever to download the whole thing, there's no sound. Can you give us the gist of the story?

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