My sister can't have baby's what should I do?

Elisabeth - posted on 02/03/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I want to have her baby for her she has helped me out since ever even when I got pregnant with my baby and had no sport from anyone else but my husband won't let me do it I know his being selfish because she helps me with my baby when he doesn't want to and and because of her in the past I was able to see him and date him (my parent were strict) she hasn't asked me but I want to do this for her he tells me that if I do it he would leave me what should I do? Should I leave him or should I just not do it?

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Stifler's - posted on 02/07/2013

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I offered to be my husbands cousins surrogate and I would not have asked if my husband wasn't supportive of it.

Stifler's - posted on 02/07/2013

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It's his decision too. It would be very hard to have your wife pregnant with someone elses child that you won't get to raise. Is it worth ruining your relationship?

Cecilia - posted on 02/03/2013

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I assume you've talked to your husband about it since he seems to say no it it. Then you have to decide which is more important to you. If you decide that it really is something you want to do. If it is, then ask your sister what she wants. If she wants you to do it then go ahead. Call your husbands bluff. See if he does leave. If he does that is fine. He made that choice.

As far as your child growing up without a father, that isn't up to you . It has nothing to do with you. If the father walks away and never comes back that is his choice and he is leaving your child without a father- not you. People divorce all the time. Many of them still see mother and father on a regular basis. It in many cases is better for the children not to live in a home where yelling is happening. Two houses with two happy parents is better than one house and two angry and upset parents any day.

Elisabeth - posted on 02/03/2013

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Also at the time he is sometimes just nice out of it and that's what I keep going back to because have hopes we could work out .he never let's us talk it out and when I try to tell him about my sister he just said no didn't even let me explain the process or anything but I also don't want to be selfish and rip my baby away from her dad

Elisabeth - posted on 02/03/2013

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I just didn't want to go into detail with my marriage because he isn't the best he mistreats me and he knows it but doesn't care and what I mean by his here for our baby is that he is only with me for our baby he doesn't hit me or anything but words still hurt I just didn't want my baby to grow up with out a dad we never fight in front of out baby but when alone it goes all bad would it right to leave him

Dee Dee - posted on 02/03/2013

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did u say "his there for our baby but not for me "? did u talk to ur husband about this? when I had my daughter, I feel that way about my husband too. It maybe guy thing. unfortunatly, that's all they got to show love. if u or ur baby leave him, they will feel like a knife in his heart. it hurts a lot. You want keep ur home in harmony to raise your own kid, right? do ur heart tell u. whatever comes after, is the best for you.

Elisabeth - posted on 02/03/2013

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Well see that's the thing I don't think I have to ask him for a blessing because he hasn't even here for me yeah his there for our baby but not for me and yes she would love a baby most in the world its not like she hasn't tried other ways and no like I said she didn't ask me to do it she was going to pay someone to do it but I know it's a lot of money and I want to do it for her I offered my self because I want to and I know she would be a great mom and no one in the world is born knowing how to be a mom she's great with kids and she has stayed night after night with mine long hr taking turns when my ungrateful husband was sleeping and didn't want to help. Oh she's 29 she's been trying going to doctor since she was 20.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/03/2013

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Talk to your sister about what SHE wants. Your body your choice, but you really need to talk with her.

Dee Dee - posted on 02/03/2013

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good morning
Is there any special reason that you need to have her baby for her now?
having a baby is a big commitment with lots consequences. I can see why your husband has concerns. did you say that your sister hasn't ask you to do this? are you sure your sister want you to do this? Raise a child is a lot of work. you can tell that we are all here pulling our hair and try to figure out how to raise our child. it is not easy. it may be a good idea to talk to them in more detail seperately and together. I don't think it is a good idea to do it without your husband's blessing. it doesn't seems fair to him or good for your marriage. good luck

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