need help with my twins please. special needs. siblings.

Clairepeaceful - posted on 07/31/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a boy and girl both 7. My son has ADHD and autism. He acts out all of the time. My daughter gets annoyed if we have to leave somewhere like the park early because my son isn't behaving. Or if he hits her or if he is embarrassing her on the street. She has started to act out when this happens. My husband has a lot of patience with our son, but is very strict with our daughter. He will spank her for doing small things like answering back. I asked my husband to be more understanding. Now we aren't speaking. What can I do? It hurts me to see my daughter get into trouble because she is frustrated.

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Megan - posted on 08/07/2013

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I would say counseling as well, and if your husband won't go with you, go alone. I've found sometimes just making the first step can change minds about that kind of thing. I think at times people look at going to counseling as a weakness, when in reality it takes a lot of strength. I also agree with having separate play times for your children. Explaining some of the situation to your daughter would be a great starting place, although young, she'll understand some if she already knows he's different. She should understand that calling someone a "r****d" is not acceptable. Baby steps, this is a difficult situation and there isn't an easy fix.

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Susan - posted on 01/20/2015

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Look at a website called www.noitresearch.com It is very helpful bringing the autistic child in touch with himself and with the world. Also it is not expensive and something you do at home.

Clairepeaceful - posted on 08/05/2013

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I have suggested counseling to my husband but he doesn't think we need it. He suggested our daughter go instead, I think she is too young to go. My daughter knows that her brother is different but doesn't understand why. She asks me, "why is he different?" Sometimes she calls him a "r****d" and ocaisonly she hits him. However, when someone says he is naughty, my daughter will say "he isn't naughty he just doesn't react like we do." I am unsure as to how much she understands but i have never explained exactly what it is to her.

Diana - posted on 08/03/2013

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Have you tried counseling for yourself and husband on how to cope? It appears that your husband is frustrated as well. Maybe try separate visits to the park so that your daughter can play interrupted. Seems like your daughter might grow to resent her brother. Does your daughter understand her brother's condition?

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