Newly-bald Cynthia Nixon 'gay by choice'

Kellie - posted on 01/24/2012 ( 17 moms have responded )




Newly-bald Sex and the City actress Cynthia Nixon's declaration that she is gay "by choice" has outraged some members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.

Nixon, who shaved her head for her latest theatrical role, told the New York Times she had been subject to a backlash after telling a gay audience: "I've been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better."

She had been pressured to retract the comment "because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice", she said.

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"For me, it is a choice, " Nixon told the New York Times. "I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it's a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me."

"I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive.

"I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with."

Her comments have drawn criticism from some members of the LGBT community, with at least one popular gay blogger saying she should have used the term "bisexual" "If you like both flavors, men and women, you’re bisexual, you’re not gay, so please don’t tell people that you are gay, and that gay people can "choose" their sexual orientation, ie will it out of nowhere. Because they can’t," he wrote in AmericaBlog Gay.

"Every religious right hatemonger is now going to quote this woman every single time they want to deny us our civil rights."

Nixon was with a man for 15 years and had two children before beginning her current relationship with long-time partner Christine Marinoni.

They are engaged and last Februray gave birth to their son Max Ellington Nixon-Marinoni.

Nixon, a famous redhead, revealed her new look on Live With Kelly yesterday after shaving her locks for the Manhattan Theatre Club production of Wit in which she plays a poetry professor with cancer.

"I thought it was kind of gonna be no muss-no fuss, but I have to shave it every day," she told host Kelly Ripa.

"It's got kind of a five o'clock shadow, and you don't want to go on with that.

"I was always kind of curious to see what it would be like. I like it; I don't think I'm gonna keep it forever."

Nixon had a cancerous lump removed from her breast in 2006 and endured radiation treatment but did not undergo chemotherapy

Firstly, I'm not real sure what her hair has to do with anything..

Personally I think she has a couple of points such as "For me, it is a choice, " Nixon told the New York Times. "I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it's a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me." and "I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with."

Why do people think they can define her 'Gayness' and tell her it wasn't a choice for her? She hasn't made a blanket statement she's said FOR HER it was a choice. Are people in the LBGT Community really so threatened by the fact one *can* have a choice in such things? Can we really say that everyone who is Gay, Bi etc etc is just born that way? Why can't people have a choice too?

I don't care what you are, unless you're an asshole, but I don't think it's as cut and dried as 'I was born that way' (for every single person) either, and that can go for many things.


Janice - posted on 01/24/2012




I think her choice of words is the issue here. Obviously she is bisexual and is choosing to be with women. And that's okay. By saying she is choosing to be gay she gives fuel to all the homophobes who insist it is a choice for all. I completely understand why the gay community is upset.

Jenny - posted on 01/24/2012




Sounds to me like she is bisexual and is choosing to stick to women. Nothing wrong with that but you can't choose to be attracted to women in the first place. If it's not there, you can't just turn it on.

Mrs. - posted on 01/25/2012




I think she is also alluding to the fact that people have said things like "how could you not know you were gay at your age." What it seems she is trying to also refute is that, she's not an idiot, she has probably always been open to being with a woman and just happened to give it a whirl (and liked it).

I guess if I was her, I might feel a bit like people keep acting like I'm not self aware and possibly stupid for marrying and having child with men, all the while really wanting to be with a woman....when for her, it is about the person and not the gender. It would suck that people would think that she's a bit slow and that what she had with the father of her children isn't as legit as what she has with her current partner.

Tam - posted on 01/25/2012




Good point, Alessia. I actually have no idea who she is.

It just bugs me when people feel the need to insert themselves into a victim catagory. After thinking on it, it seems to me that the whole 'getting mad at her use of the word choice' thing is present because it removes some of the victim mentality that some (not all, by any means) people take - "I can't help it that I'm gay, therefore it legitimizes my platform for activism."

That's a vibe I get from most extreme activists though.

Alessia - posted on 01/25/2012




Funny how no one was talking about Cynthia Nixon and now *boom*! she's everywhere.

Helloooo publicity stunt!


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Tam - posted on 01/25/2012




I fail to see how someone 'choosing' to be gay is any less legitimate than someone who was 'born' gay. They pursue the same lifestyle, for more or less the same reasons. It does not take any emphasis away from the discrimination that is present these days.

And as for people claiming that being gay is a choice? Well, so what?

We're in America (for the purposes of this article) and we are entitled to our choices, so long as they do not infringe upon others. Choosing to be gay harms no one. If anything, it brings further acceptance to what many vocal minorities perceive as deviant behavior.

Being mad at someone for choosing to be gay is like being mad at me for choosing to be an atheist. It harms no one, not the person who is anti-whatever, nor does it harm the group you align with.

Jennifer - posted on 01/25/2012




I so see what everyone is saying here! But I still think that what she is doing to the gay communitiy is wrong. I am a Christian, in the bible belt, and I hear all the reasons why gays are/should be second class citizens. One BIG one is that if we 'glamourize' the gay lifestyle, more people will CHOOSE to be gay. This woman is playing up that fear. She fell in love with another lady. That was probably not a decision she actually made, it just happened. Maybe she had bad relationships with men and that drove her to only seek women, but it still wasn't a choice she made rationally!

It is scary for parents who want 'normal' straight kids! We ALL want our kids to have an easyier life, not everyone who thinks this way hates gays. Some just want their kids to be happy, and will accept gay, they just see the problems. My daughter is Bi, and while thats ok, I hope she ends up with a man. Is that really so wrong? My mother faced this fear in a different way when I dated a black man. She was happy that I was so open, but feared what I and my children faced. It didn't work out, and she was really relieved! Now, I face that with my daughter. I'd prefer it not be an issue, but since it is, I'm a little upset that one persons remarks may take back some of the progress we have made!

Mrs. - posted on 01/24/2012




There are a lot of "gay" people that I know who are on a sliding scale of sexuality, people define them as gay, but they don't. They just say they like what they like whatever that is and if people want to put a label on it — then fine.

I define myself as bisexual, because it basically fits what I am, but it makes it easier for others to categorize. Honestly, I think everyone is (with the minority of people being completely straight and gay) a little bit of both and there are so many different sexualities as there are colours of people.

Perhaps, she feels that way, that she is choosing to be with a person who is a woman. Maybe most of the time she would be straight, but really likes this woman...who knows? It sounds like she doesn't want to be put in a box because she doesn't comfortably fit in the LGBT box.

I mean for me, being with a woman would be a choice, I could be with a man instead. However, I do feel I was born with both sex attractions.

But, really I don't think anyone has the right to define her sex life as anything. It doesn't take anything away from those in the majority who feel they do fit in the "born that way" box. One actress who says her sexuality is fluid does not give to much weight to the wackos out there who say that EVERYONE can choose to be attracted to the opposite sex.

I thought it was supposed to be everyone is equal no matter which sex they are into...who cares if she feels she can choose from both pots? Some people, I think can. Most people...not so much.

Sexuality is so nuanced depending on the individual. I understand that in order to get major points across the aisle you have to simplify the complex to get shit done. However, let's not attack someone for "coming out" as someone who chooses.

Lady Heather - posted on 01/24/2012




Of course people CAN choose to "be gay" (that is lead what they call a gay lifestyle). That doesn't mean it's not a natural phenomenon. I'm team Cynthia on this one. If she chooses to be with women despite being attracted to men then that's her choice. I don't know if it's the same as being gay. Maybe she should just say she's doing gay things. lulz.

Johnny - posted on 01/24/2012




Yeah, I don't really care. But her comments strike me as someone unwilling to admit they are bisexual. I've noticed that people who clearly identify as bisexual, especially women who are in lesbian relationships, do not get a lot of support. The usual straight anti-gay bias and an oddly virulent, nasty gay anti-bi bias (that's a mouthful). While straight people sort of roll their eyes at people who are bisexual, just assuming they are confused. Gay people, especially the political activists seem to view the concept of bisexuality as a threat. The suggestion that some people CAN choose between genders does not mean that everyone can. I tend to think you can be born bisexual just the same as being born straight or gay. But that isn't a very popular viewpoint, especially amongst the gay community. I can understand their concerns, and she is welcome to "define her own sexuality" but frankly, I don't really buy it.

Stifler's - posted on 01/24/2012




I think she is just another fake lesbian. To be honest. You can't "choose" how you feel.

Kellie - posted on 01/24/2012




LOL Krista!

I guess my problem with this is, this is HER truth and others shouldn't and don't need to be telling her what her truth is.

I hope she sticks to it and doesn't bow down to Media Pressure, she has every right to her truth.

Krista - posted on 01/24/2012




I agree with Jenny. She's bi. If you're hetero, you don't just wake up one day and say, "Hm...I think this morning I'll eat Corn Flakes for breakfast, and pussy for lunch!"

And if there's any possibility that she's still attracted to men, then she's not gay. At most, she's "gay for now".

Kellie - posted on 01/24/2012




Why not? They're her feelings and she's entitled to them, it's how she views HER situation, she's not putting that onto anyone else. I do think they may be projecting their frustrations onto her though.

I believe people have the right to live how they want, I believe that being Gay shouldn't deny you things like Marriage, BUT I also believe our life is our choice and we choose it BEFORE we are born.

Now I am NOT saying Gay people choose to be Gay, yes I do think that MOST, if not nearly all, are born Gay, BUT I do believe some people choose to be Gay and I do NOT believe there is anything wrong with that and to just say ALL Gay people are born that way is quite likely untrue.

I just don't think it's cut and dried, are Sociopaths born or made? Are Child Molesters/Rapists born or made? Are Serial Killers Born or Made? etc etc

Jennifer - posted on 01/24/2012




I understand why they are upset. She is upsetting their entire argument for gay rights! Luckily, I know several people who were gay from birth, and there is no way to say otherwise. We schoolmates knew before we knew what gay was! That has colored my judgement.

I do believe some choose that lifestyle. Mostly women. But coming out and saying 'I choose this' would be like a free slave admitting he had an easyier life under slavery! Yes, a very few did, but you just don't say that!

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i'm not entirely sure what to say about this. but i'm sure you'll get plenty of arguments from people about it.

i'm confused as to why she's offended by people thinking she just didn't realize she was gay. this entire topic is just a bit over my head, i guess. i dunno. but i do agree that for some people homosexuality is a fad and they want to be in on it. but for most, especially those who have been that way for the majority of their lives, knew they felt that way before the gay rights movement, or forced themselves to be straight because of religion or society or whatever and were miserable their entire lives because of their lies, then no it's not a choice. i personally know a couple people who tried their hardest to not feel attracted to those of the same sex, and it didn't work out for them.

but for real, you can have poser cheerleaders or goths or whatever, why not poser homosexuals? cuz i know a lot of them too.

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