Nosey Moms?

[deleted account] ( 12 moms have responded )

Are we a society of overly nosey moms who butt their 2 cents in where it's not belonged? Yes, we are all highly opinionated, but we may consider the internet a safer forum to express our opinions as opposed to a verbal, in-person confrontation. I have only personally said something to another parent 3 times in person, all dealing with leaving your child unattended in a car and car seats-which are both safety issues. I've been told to screw off/fuck off and mind your business, which I could care less about. So are we truly nosey in real life about other issues as well, or are we more restrained in saying something for fear of a physcial confrontation? Are we more nosey when it comes to closer friends and relatives?

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Stifler's - posted on 08/03/2010

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Oh and the nosiest most judgmental people I have found are the uneducated who have no facts to back up their opinion.

[deleted account]

If it's a safety concern, I will give my two cents.
If it's a behavioural concern I will give my advice if asked.
If someone appears to need help, I will offer, but not force it.

I find that people are quicker to judge on the internet and engage in 'flame' wars then verbal confrontation.
You are more likely to over hear or received dirty looks in public if someone disagrees/disapproves of your parenting choices.

I don't think we are more nosy then generations past.
Remember when our parents and grand parents were growing up the entire community would know who was who and what they were up to.

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[deleted account]

I only raise my own and i never butt in or judge as i know how it feels to be on the end of other mothers butting in on my parenting..as i say the proof is in the pudding..you just have to be around my children to get a gist of how there raised..there mannerly and well behaved,there clean, dressed well, fed and have a good loving home..That cant be said for the children of the other mothers who found some short of enjoyment passing comments about me and my way of parenting but its cool others rudeness doesnt bother me or affect who i am and how i raise my girls.So i agree to many moms do it, and first dont judge unless your hands are clean..most times there not so take a look in the mirror and make a step to what you could do differently on how you parent before juding another.



If its safety,abuse,neglect its a different story but only if there's cause for concern then get involed

Stifler's - posted on 07/26/2010

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I'm nosey and critical. It seems all you need to do these days to be a "good mum" is have a kid that is alive. Never mind the fact that your kid is dirty, your house is dirty and you never do anything with your kid.

Meghan - posted on 07/26/2010

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If it is a saftey or abuse issue YES, I will say something! People may not listen or tell me to f off, but I couldn't sleep at the end of the nite knowing I hadn't tried.
I think sometimes with close friends I ask a lot of questions and give an opinon more than I should...it's not becuase I think I know what I am doing (cause I really don't for the most part) But my friends know me well enough to know that I just like to talk and compaire, learn, listen and I'm not trying to condisend or be noisy. Lucky for me my kid is the youngest of all the kids so usually I have no idea what is in store for me anyway.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/26/2010

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I definately think you did the right thing...you could potentially have saved a life. I do not care if confrontation bothers the instigator of a situation...If I see that something is wrong I speak up!!! Keep at it and KUDOS TO ALL MOTHERS THAT STAND UP FOR ALL CHILDREN!

[deleted account]

I think people need to mind their business UNLESS there are safety issues or abuse needs to be reported. I definitely think the internet offers people the opportunity to speak their mind about certain parenting issues/styles that they wouldn't normally get a chance to express for fear of offending someone. Before I joined COMs I had NO idea that things like spanking, pacifiers, co-sleeping etc. were SUCH hot topics...



Am I more nosy when it comes to closer friends and relatives? Nope. I typically won't offer my opinion unless I'm asked OR I feel there's a need for it! As a rule of thumb....if it doesn't directly affect me, I mind my own business!

[deleted account]

I talk openly with my relatives and close friends. They do the same with me. Strangers....not so much.

[deleted account]

If I am asked for my opinion I give it - although sometimes I will offer up advice when not asked for, for example I was visiting my health vistor the other day for a weight check on my son and another mom was asking for teeting advice, which the health visitor was not very helpful with so I told the mom about the teething powders I use (and was advised to use by another nosey mum) she was so greatful and wanted to know where to get them from and how much etc - the only reason I offered this advice is because I would want it given to me (as it was). I would never offer up unsolicited opinions to strangers like you should not be doing that do this instead (unless it was a safety issue for the child - and I've never been in that situation).

I do tell my SIL and friends my opinions without them asking BUT they do the same with me - we all take what info we want and ignore the rest which is the type of relationship we have.

The nosiest people I find are the ones without children who think they know what to do but actually do not have any idea (one friend tried to wrap my son in a blanket because he must be cold although he was actually the perfect temperature). I just tell these people that when they have kids they can do what they want with them this is my son and I know what is best for him!

Shelley - posted on 07/25/2010

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I always have an oppinion but only ever give it in person if asked and if i have a good friendship with the person.
I have found alot of mums particularily first time mums to be increadibly nosey and judgemental.

Sharon - posted on 07/25/2010

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I am just as honest in real life when my opinion is asked for.

I keep my opinion to myself at work - most of the time - because that is a different setting.

Sara - posted on 07/25/2010

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I do think people are quicker to criticize online rather than in person. The seeming anonymity of the internet is comforting to some.

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