Not a debate, but what would you have done?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/03/2012 ( 26 moms have responded )

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Ok, I need a vent...LOL

My eldest just had major surgery last week. As we were on the way home from the hospital in Denver, we stopped for drinks, snacks at the local convenience store. We live 3 hours away from the treatment center for him, so we generally hit the same store frequently.

This time, he was standing outside the truck, just standing, feeling like crap, I mean...major surgery the day before and all. He had his cath bag hanging on the inside of the door, but visible to someone who'd have been in the next spot over. Whatever.

Anyway, this bitch...(sorry, but this is my KID she did this to) comes flying into the parking lot, and proceeds to line herself up with the spot adjacent to where I was parked, and STARE DOWN my kid until he felt uncomfortable enough to turn away. She then backed up slightly, angled her vehicle towards mine, and proceeded to almost HIT him as she pulled into the parking space.

First, I should say that the next spot over from that was clearly open, as a matter of fact, at that time, we were one vehicle in the lot until she pulled in.

Then, she proceeded to glare at him as he was trying to move so that she could get out of her truck...

I mean, honestly, you can see the kid standing there (you can't miss him, he's 6'5", and was wearing spongebob pajamas) You can definitely see that he's got medical appliances hanging off of him, but you can't have the common courtesy to take the next spot over and give him a break?

What ever happened to being courteous? To being understanding?

She was lucky that I was in the store, and didn't witness her actual acts, my son and his dad did, and they were furious. I told my son that, next time, he needed to empty his cath bag right under the door of her vehicle...while she watched...and see how fast she changed spots. Then I giggled, and told him that I was sorry that stupid people existed like that, and that he was a bigger man for not doing something petty.

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**Jackie** - posted on 05/09/2012

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MeMe, you mean you don't bathe your husband? LOL I just realized I typed "bathe everyone". Good luck on quitting smoking BTW.

Also, I got so carried away in trying to tell my experience that I forgot to mention that for those of you whom are not being supportive of Shawnn's actions and how ALL she is asking for is for people to be even semi-decent human beings....really? Just stay the frig home.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/09/2012

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MeMe, Good luck! Jackie, I'd have done the same thing...

**Jackie** - posted on 05/09/2012

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lol what the heck!? I read the OP (and already commented). My first thought was "Oh I'd knock that bitch out!"...and I don't even know Shawnn's son!!



I'll tell you what JUST happened to me in the grocery store parking lot. I went there with my 17 month old daughter and there was an empty spot next to a giant van. As I was pulling into the spot I saw a mother with 3 children TRYING to get everyone situated in the cart. Do you know what I did? I found another spot. When my daughter and I were walking into the store I couldn't help but think of Shawnn's post and that IF the mother was still there trying to organize her kids and get them into the store I would have asked if she needed help.



Should she have maybe waited until her hubby or someone could watch the kids before going shopping? Or maybe parked away from everyone? Probably...but she didn't and it was no big deal for me to. Sometimes we don't have the option of waiting until husbands come home to go shopping....I don't. My husband gets home late every night and after I make dinner, bathe everyone and wipe the leftover food off of me and pick it out of my hair, the LAST thing I want to do is go out in the dark on the highway to a store that is packed full of pissed off people that also had a long day and grocery shop :)

Jenni - posted on 05/09/2012

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My philosophy is pretty simple; I don't let rude people affect who I am. I continue to be considerate and courteous to others despite how people have treated me. I may not have control over people who are rude, miserable or entitled, but I do have control over my own actions. And I do not let others mistreatment of me dictate who I am. For the most part, when people are rude or inconsiderate I kill them with a smile and kindness. At least at the end of the day, I can live with myself and be proud of my actions or reaction. I'm not sure if they can. More often than not when I react positively to someone's negative actions it causes embarrassment on their part. Unless they are completely lost in their own universe. I think reacting negatively just causes them to feel their negative actions were justified.

Jodi - posted on 05/09/2012

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I completely disagree with Iridescent's entire post. Common courtesy and decency is a dying art. As a woman who grew up with a disabled sister since I was 4 (that's 23 years now), I don't feel you did anything to "wipe out" any work any nationwide efforts have been made on behalf of the disabled/discrimination. And it most certainly is about common decency. After my c-section (major surgery, although pretty common now) I know that the 30 minute ride home to my house was uncomfortable, 3 hours would have been excruciating. Good on you for taking care of your son, and even better on your words to him about being the better man. You are obviously doing a great job raising him to have better consideration and courtesy than that crazy b**ch!

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MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 05/09/2012

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Jackie, you're not bathing your husband are you?? hehehehee Since you did say, bathed "everyone". lmao

Just teasing...on my first day of trying to quite smoking...I need a little laughter, cause I feel like freakin! I hope (or they better) that no one parks close to me today, I just may boot their car! lol

Mary - posted on 05/09/2012

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I've thought about this a bit, and it really does come down to common courtesy and and awareness of your surroundings. I often try to park away from others, and with the spot next to me open, because I do have to open the door to the backseat for a few minutes to get the girl out of the car seat. It annoys me to no end when someone sees me getting her out of the car, and still chooses to sit impatiently drumming their fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for me to shut the door so that they can park in that space directly next to me, when there are numerous other spots around us that are open.

I never say or do anything, but I certainly don't rush to accommodate them either. I would if it was a busy lot, and there were only a few open spots. But in situations such as the one in the OP, I'd definitely be annoyed. I have to completely disagree with Iridescent Moonbeam's somewhat hostile take on this - it really has nothing to do with the boy's post-op state, and more to do with another driver being a bit too self-centered to see that choosing another equally accessible spot would just be the courteous thing to do.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/08/2012

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Beth, Mama Bear is exactly the description...LOL...wasn't sure if anyone else would get the connotation of that tho :-)

Beth - posted on 05/08/2012

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There is such a lack of decency and common courtesy in the world today. I'm so sorry your son had to go through this in addition to everything else. I would have blown a gasket on that woman. Probably not the best example to set for your kid, and likely not a great way to get through to the woman, but I think most moms would go Mama Bear on her ass.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/08/2012

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We have a ccw permit for Wyoming which is a cross over for Colorado. I never have understood the across state lines thing, but...as long as it's legal, I'm ok.

Isobel - posted on 05/08/2012

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If'm sorry, this is just a quick question...you carry a gun legally into ~which~ metro area when you travel???

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/08/2012

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Pardon me, Iridescent, for assuming that people should have common decency! Oh, BTW, we WERE in the Handicap parking, WELL within the lines. What that woman did was crass, and inconsiderate.

What I was asking the board was am I the only one seeing crass, inconsiderate, and flat out RUDE people? Or am I expecting too much? Apparently, in your case, I'm expecting too much.

I would ask the same if my disabled husband were treated in the same manner. You see, I was raised with common decency. When I see someone in a situation like that, I give them a break.

I'm most certainly NOT asking for attention, and I respectfully request that you no longer offer your opinion on this issue, if you cannot have simple compassion. I was VENTING, lady! And I asked if anyone else felt the same. I most definitely did not ask for you and stiflers mum to be judgmental about my choice of actions in allowing my son to stand beside the vehicle.

and before you start bashing on me for people with disabilities, I'll have you know that my husband and I have been handling his disability for 15 years now, and not expecting a damn thing extra except understanding and compassion. And, that, my dear is NOT too much to ask. If you cannot be understanding and compassionate about others, I have no wish to continue a discussion with you.

Iridescent - posted on 05/08/2012

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Really, though, all the work that people nationwide (worldwide) have done to eradicate discrimination based on disabilities, and posts like this just wipe that out. "Look at me! I'm disabled! I'm standing here with my bag of pee!" And no, that's NOT how I'd see the situation as the other driver, but here you are in your post demanding that it's exactly what people need to see. *Applause*

Iridescent - posted on 05/08/2012

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My children are in this type of situation...and we have a handicap tag for situations where they'd be needing the extra area around the vehicle for personal needs. I find your post to be attention seeking and rather cruel when it's not a human race issue, or a decency issue, at all.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/08/2012

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@ stiflers mum: Apparently you did not read where we are a 3 hour trip from hospital to home? And there was SUFFICIENT room for this ignorant person to park other than RIGHT NEXT TO my vehicle. AND that she didn't even have the common decency to notice that he had an OBVIOUS medical condition?

He needed to stand. It was impractical for him to move from beside the vehicle.

The problem that you "don't get" is that I'm wondering where the common decency, courtesy, and understanding has gone from the human race.

I will certainly pray that your children ever are in the same predicament.

Tracey - posted on 05/08/2012

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Unfortunately there are no limits to ignorance and intolerance. Hope your son is OK.

Stifler's - posted on 05/07/2012

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Yeah I don't get the problem here. Why was he standing in the carpark where people park instead of sitting in the car or standing off the road.

**Jackie** - posted on 05/04/2012

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I'm with Stacey, you had me at sponge bob pj's. I think you did good. For some reason, and I think it is the Jersey in me, that I get ghetto when it comes to my family. I get my head and hands going when someone does something to my child. lol something I'm not proud of and I need to work on.

You should be very proud of your son. You and your hubby raised a good kid that didn't do anything stupid. Someone like her would have called the cops and then he would have to justify his actions to them. Good for you

S. - posted on 05/04/2012

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Aww the image of a poorly the 6.5" lad wearing sponge bob p.j's in a car park made my heart sink bless him,the heartless bitch I'd of wanted to drive my car at her..... And not break. Some people are shocking what a horrible world we live in!
Hope your son's on the mend now :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/04/2012

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Oh, ladies, thank you for letting me know that you'd have felt the same!

LOL...MeMe, the funny thing is that we do carry (legally, of course) on all trips to the Metro area, so we did have that (somewhat illegal, but still tempting) option...

Janice, yes he is well on his way, actually, and much sooner than his doctors expected! I am so thankful he's a quick healer...LOL...he may actually be able to graduate at the end of the month without appliances!

Joy, I'm exactly the same, I'd try to figure a way to give him a little more space...As it is, the next time we stopped, we parked between two spots and I stood at the outer limit on his side to stick up for him if necessary

Sneaky, Thank you! We have tried. I have a wee bit of a short temper, myself, so I've tried hard to make sure my sons understand that flying off the handle isn't the way to go.

Sneaky - posted on 05/04/2012

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Wow Shawnn, I am REALLY impressed with what you said to your son; "Then I giggled, and told him that I was sorry that stupid people existed like that, and that he was a bigger man for not doing something petty". I know with a mum that says things like that, he is going to be one good man :o) That was excellent advice!

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I can see almost pulling in next to him and not realizing his condition and then having that "shut the fucking door so I can pull in" moment. But then, anyone with eyes would LOOK and see him and realize that, "Hey, this guy doesn't need to be crowded". I'd have pulled out and found another spot to park. Or even better, I'd have pulled out and then taken up two spots parking next to you so that no one else tried to crowd him. Fuckers. It's almost (not quite) like being a mom and leaning into the back seat to unbuckle your child from the seat and having a car sitting there waiting for you to hurry up.....or even worse, when you're trying to buckle them IN and trying to do it while in a hurry because some ass hat is waiting for the spot next to you....

Janice - posted on 05/03/2012

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WoW! People are F'ing assholes! I just do not understand why some people are so horrendously rude and mean.

I'm sorry that happened to your son. I hope he is on the mend soon!

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 05/03/2012

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How pathetic. I just don't have time for inconsiderate, disrespectful, assholish people. I mean, these things don't happen often but when they do, I am full of pissed off rage! I don't know. I just have a really big problem with rudeness. I do my absolute best to be very considerate and respectful of everyone. I expect the same in return, from everyone. ;)

Your poor kid. I feel bad for him. Geez, I mean, he isn't feeling well already and then to have some freak act like that. Sounds like she deserved to be ran over! lol

See, it is a damn good thing us Canadians can't walk around with guns, I'd be putting a cap in a few assholes, asses. ;)

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Good God, what is the world coming to that stupid bitches like that exist?? seriously, how fucking hard is it to be a decent person??? I manage it every fucking day, how can others not??? This is infuriating. I would have been so pissed!!! DX

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